Delyth Report post Posted December 22, 2008 (edited) Hi all... Just like to share some exciting news... My husband (AS) has always found it very difficult, impossible even, to engage in conversations about emotions, mine or his - he always avoids them. In the past, when I have attempted to share on this level he has become immediately anxious and silent (I used to interpret this, long ago before I knew about AS, as him listening). Needless to say, this response - or lack of response - then made me withdraw, feeling confused, rejected and unloved, and often angry and frustrated by this apparent lack of caring. I would desperately wish that I had not even started the conversation and making myself vulnerable. Our relationship suffers from a lack of intimacy in this respect and it has been difficult to build our relationship into one of trust and sharing, something that we have been trying to achieve for a long time. Anyhow, yesterday we were for the first time able to have a spontaneous good, in depth, adult, lengthy and healthy conversation involving emotions. We reflected back on the possible reasons why this had happened and we realised that when my husband went silent, I was able to recognise this and say to him, calmly without feeling angry, 'you have gone silent and this is not helping me'. He was then able to drag himself away from the dreadful grip of anxiety and actively participate in a conversation that allowed us to explore my feelings and eventually come to a resolution. It was a truly beautiful moment for us and our relationship... Happy Christmas to all on this forum and wishing you some beautiful moments too in your families. Delyth Edited December 22, 2008 by Delyth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted December 23, 2008 Glad you've had some progress Delyth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted December 23, 2008 Long may it continue, Delyth! You have a fab Christmas too.X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted December 23, 2008 :thumbs: Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billabong Report post Posted December 24, 2008 Delyth This is so, so lovely to read, must admit it's brought a tear or two of joy to my eye-peeps. HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Billabong <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ogsplosh Report post Posted December 24, 2008 Thats wonderful! what a fantastic christmas present! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
V1971 Report post Posted December 24, 2008 That is wonderful!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delyth Report post Posted January 2, 2009 Sorry I haven't replied... have been away enjoying the festive season in the mountains in Wales and visiting family... back in grey grey London now though... Thanks for your warm comments and words of encouragement... it's lovely to know that others can appreciate the experience too as most of my friends have no experience of autism and find it difficult to relate to things that I sometimes try and share. Happy New Year to all... Delyth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
