Has anybody thought they are going neurotic whilst trying to get a diagnosis?

[shaz71]

Hi my name is Sharon and i am new to this forum, i have 4 children 1 son 17yrs old, 3 daughters, 13, 6 and nearly 2. My two youngest have some issues, the younger one at the minuite is too young to have a diagnosis but she is under a peadiatrician due to other issues, she has allergies/intolerances and reflux but now her behaviour is getting bad she is also hyper just like her 6yr old sister. Now Melissa who is now 6yrs old and in yr2 at school i have always worried about her from about 18mths at first it was for her speech as she didn't say a word not even babble nothing until the age of 2. Looking back she was the perfect baby, as she could sit in a pooey nappy for hours without crying and her bum would bleed and again she wasn't that bothered. She wasn't a cuddly baby, she walked pretty early but again just pottered around and loved to go between my chair and sofa it was her little place. It took her up until 3 and half before everyone could understand her talking but she would still get some sentences mixed up and doing the v, b, f, th mix up which is norm for that age. And up until the age of 5 screamed at fireworks, and still jumps at them but she seems to tolerate them better, and the vaccum she screamed up until about 5 again. At first i was looking at adhd, as she is stuggling in school and not thought once about autism until one of my friends daughters was getting assessed for it, i asked it can't be thinking of the worst case senario and she explained her friend is a teaching assistant and teaches children on the spectrum and she explained about it and then i looked it up and i can't believe it. Melissa is defiant, no danger, very immature, impulsive, social problems but not unsocial, she is more ott in their face/space, clingy even to strangers making everyone uncomfortable and not bothered. She as just started being a dog, obviously through reading i am now realising that it is making her more able to cope with the surroundings, it is embarrasing, she tends to do it in a social club where i go, shopping and funnily enough since christmas at home, but i have changed the furniture around. I am now noticing when there is a change she does it and stressed. She has friends at school, so my problem is having back up off the school, all they say she is social and that is it. But the teacher said she isn't overly concerned but she is concerned a little with her immaturity she said she is still at the touchy feely stage of a reception/nursery child, she has been assessed by a speech therapist who is keeping her on her books and review her in 6mths but she said she isn't overly concerned as the teacher said she is social, but her grammer, comprehension and language is delayed by a couple of years, which explains probably the immaturity level, she is behind in school, but the teacher said she isn't worried as she is one of the younger ones. I also have an older daughter who is younger in the year than Melissa her birthday is 30th aug, whereas Melissas is 8th aug and she was miles ahead of her and i remember the teacher saying that she was a little behind, but because of her age they were making allowances. Now Melissa is not like a normal girl, into babies and dolls etc but she is into dinosaurs, she asks questions about strange things like how are brains made, how things work, she breaks things to see what is inside or how far it can bend before breaking. Even brand new toys i ask why she has done it and she says why and then proceeds well i didn't like it anyway. She also tends to repeat things a few times normally 3 times, and i have to repeat myself several times she shouts a lot also, i have to tell her to stop shouting, had her hearing checked 2 times and fine. Now i have noticed she gets words mixed up that are similar, like i asked what houses she liked on this street of very posh houses she looked at me puzzled and said what trousers, she as done this a lot with other things as well, and says a lot of beginnnings of words wrongly, like cut for put, mem for them, cuts off beginning of words, puter, tendo, tending and loads of other stuff but again the speech therapist said that is within normal perameters for her age. Recently she has burnt herself on a sparkler as she had the year before now she remembered that it hurt as she said she remembered about it and so i said you won't do it again will you, she said no and guess what she did it again, i asked why after obviously seeing to the burnt finger and she said she didn't know. Also we got these practice sat books and she came home saying the teacher said not to write in them to me 3 times and i answered her the first time but she had to tell me twice more she then went and wrote in it and tried blaming her sister that obviously can't write, she can write but it doesn't make sense she either makes her own words up as she can't spell or puts her own name or her younger sisters name in as she can spell them. My mum told her about how people used to pull teeth out in the olden days as Melissa two front teeth had just become wobbly and guess what she did it came home and tied a string to the door handle then to her teeth and pulled both teeth out even though they had only just become wobbly, blood was everywhere she came and said it hurt, so obviously thought it was going to be a walk in the park.....Then she cut her eye open doing carwheels when she said she was going to the toilet again blood everywhere and both incidents were on new years eve. She also has banging phases where she will band all sorts for about an hour. And the time she had a gold fish for a day before she killed it because she wanted to know what it felt like and obviously crushed it and then after said it was my fish to kill?????? She isn't bothered that people look at her daft when she is hopping around, or is it that she isn't understanding? She did this online assessment smart cat learning, i don't know if anyone as heard and it assesses their life skills, body language, understanding etc by interacting games. It basically said that Melissa is weak in theory of mind like she knows people are crying, angry etc but she can't explain why and also language, she is not listening to instructions and it basically said that she will struggle in school which she is in everything, i could understand that maybe yes she is better at maths than english or vice versa but no she isn't acheiving in any of them and all i am getting from teacher is she isn't overly concerned and one of the younger ones, i am now paranoid about going to gp and trying to explain all this and her thinking i am a neurotic mum, all i have in defence is my instinct as i went to her about a year ago after going nearly every week to see gps who fobbed me off with younger daughter as i knew again something wasn't right and this lady doc listened and referred me to a pead and after all a year of fighting my instincts were right all along so she knows i don't worry over nothing, but she also knows i have had other stresses and i don't want her thinking i am obsessed, i am an anxious person and always has been, i don't know what to do, do you think i should wait until she is age 7 which is only 7mths away by then she will be over the fine line when it isn't normal to be having speech problems and when she hasn't done well in her sats and not progressed like the teacher thought and they will start doing something about her bed wetting, and it isn't norm for a girl to be acting like a dog if she is still doing that? What should i do????? Sorry for rambling. Sharon x

[cmuir]

Hi

 

During the course of seeking a diagnosis for my son, I felt that I was being assessed as much as my son. I suspect when a child isn't behaving in the 'normal' way, Paeds look for reasons and bad parenting, is a good starting point. I understand all that, but it is hard. I also felt that I wasn't believed a lot of the time - Paeds would visit my son in nursery over space of 20-30 mins on a good day, yet the minute they'd leave, he'd behave abominably! At times, I did start to wonder if I was the problem. I'm not suggesting people self-diagnose or that parents march along to their GPs and say 'my kids has an ASD', but I am a big believer in gut instinct especially where a mother is concerned. I think if you've done a lot of research and have reason to believe something isn't quite right, then you have every right to insist on a referral to the appropriate person and persevere if need be. My son's HV and GP were very dismissive for 1.5 years and I finally lost my temper/patience with them - that's what it took to get the referrals (I'm not suggesting throwing a tantrum, merely stating I know how frustrating it can be). I kept a diary of everything that I thought was a bit strange and it soon mounted up. It not only showed me that I wasn't going mad, but it also helped to build up a picture of how R presented himself to professionals.

 

Hang in there.

 

Caroline.

[jo jones]

yep i have the same problem,,,,the so called professionals are now more concerned about me?????tellin me that i should be on medication again??? but i have not quite lost the plot yet and my answer to that was oh well the reason i am not on my medication is that it will not take my sons sensory dysfunction away will it?? he needs appropriate support for that and only then will we all feel better!!!!! even though i have pushed for years as i knew there was something???they always told me oh he is normal??? and last time i saw camhs they totally dismissed anything until i explained that he has a sensory profile done by o/t stating his sensory needs??? her answer- well i will have to see that then??? so as i always do i pulled it out and showed her ha ha,,she backtracked and said oh well he does have problems then ??????????????,,but only because i explained that he has got much worse in the last year behaviourally and was on the phone to them all the time have they started to help us????? they were tellin me last week that maybe i am going through a slight nervous breakdown????? i said well what do u think cos i have been banging my head against a wall for 3 years or so as no-one believed me untill now??? stupid people,,they dont live my home life when he is hitting us ,not sleepin till 2 am ,not eating and yet to them that is normal?????????i give up and feel for everyone in this position and know i'm not alone in this xxxxxxxxxxxx

[bikemad]

Yup same here....bloke from camhs is useless bigtime n im bout to put in a complaint bout him...he makes me feel like im a neurotic useless mother n that all the letters reports and the like that others such as teacher, O/T etc have sent him are rubbish.

[onlycrazygal]

yep can certainly count me in, been trying to get my sons aspergers

identified and diagnosed since he was 9, hes now 13yrs and no

closer to the goal really. originally was accused of Msbp, went through

care proceedings etc. Its a wonder we survived in one piece but we

did

Have to say though it has left me with mental health issue: called,

Imnottakingnocrap disorder

 

OCG

[hedders]

Everything you have put about Melissa is all too a like my dd.

 

Don't feel isolated at all means, this is a journey into understanding a positive learning curve.

 

I may of started when dd was young and when she was 4 i felt i left it too late, so dont beat yourself about it, you have started and that is the main thing.

Onwards and upwards, many hurdles you will have to cross, but we are all here for you with advice.

Edited January 11, 2009 by hedders

[shaz71]

Everything you have put about Melissa is all too a like my dd.

 

Don't feel isolated at all means, this is a journey into understanding a positive learning curve.

 

I may of started when dd was young and when she was 4 i felt i left it too late, so dont beat yourself about it, you have started and that is the main thing.

Onwards and upwards, many hurdles you will have to cross, but we are all here for you with advice.

 

Hi thanks Katie, and all the other ladies for replying. It just makes me mad when you know something isn't quite right, at first i thought maybe she is a tomboy which would explain why she is into cars, aeroplanes, helicopters, asking questions about brains, death, being boysterous,etc hyper, bull in a china shop, but then what about the social aspects, the being a dog, why her favourite colour is pink and the cutting labels out of clothes and wanting to dress like a princess wearing floaty skirts and pretty tops but then wanting to parade bare foot everywhere, the list is endless, and affecting her and our lives but that is normal!!!!! I can see it being a battle, thanks for replys again. <'> Sharon x