Hello, my name is Desperate!

[Kookoo123]

Hello, everybody.

 

Well it seems kinda sad to me to meet so many, many people all needing somewhere to go because of the lack of help. But at least you are here.

 

Quick overview: Son, 13 dx Aspergers at 6 NOT statemented which is unbelievable considering his portfolio of persistent, extreme problems., daughter, 12 NT but with rare bowel disorder, diet/medically controlled but still gets sick, son, 10, statemented for LD but also with Aspergers traits, dad, he's fine but we suspect he has Aspergers traits too, me, mum, disabled with auto immune disorder.

 

Sorry, don't mean to sound like I am saying, poor me look at all this but ias you know, all family life is relevant.

 

I am going to jump straight in here. My eldest son has been off school for two weeks. Its about the third time in the 9 months he has attended that this has happened, him coming out and blank refusal to go back. Last communication from school, despite emails/calls was on 16/01. He is currently failing his second secondary school. He was punched in the face at the last one. He, I don't now how to put this without upsetting the members and breaking the understandable rules of the admins, but well he only could think of one way to stop to the pain and was hospitalised for 2 nights to keep him safe. The psych who saw him wrote a nasty letter saying he didn't present as someone with Aspergers (he is quite atypical, but hey, isn't his 'presentation' our good work as a family? Like looking at the end of someone's nose often so it looks like your looking at their eyes?) Blamed it all on me being disabled. Well, he was dxd before I got ill.

 

Well I asked his school for a permanent part- time schedule. We are still waiting as they insist its re-intergration only. Waiting on the welfare officer calling. I even called them to find she wrks about 6 hours a week. We've been here 3 times in 9 months.. The issue is, he needs a statemnet, for sure and they agree, but we must get him in school for it... yes and I know he will return to the place where he was at in the old school. He has screamed at me how bad it is, how he really cannot bear it, and please will I home ed him. I just can't, I'm not well enough for that and his siblings need above typical attention He realises so much he said "so they want to me to suffer for months before I can get to a good school? "He cannot understand how anyone could do that to him. he was devastated

 

As well as the number of children, environmentl factors all the common sensory issues, he is bullied often but the worst for him is the drip-feed of teasinh, each lesson, day in day out.

 

He said to me, why do they do it just because I am different? Then he changed it to, no because we are different to each other. Smart boy. He announced a new theory on the big bang once when he was 11, at bedtime, just like that. The same theory is now being investigated by som of the biggest theoretical scientists in the world. Wish I had given them a call at the time!

 

But finally, in year 9 he has realised if you react they get worse. So there he is all day keeping it all in ready to blast it out like a ballistic ball of anger when he gets home. Don't blame him. But then they say, well he seems to coping fine! I argue (well, rebutt) and it goes round and round.

 

All he wants to do is learn, he's been given the opportunity to do his ICT GCSE a year early and he is really excited. But he will not go. They say they cannot stop every single incident of teasing, there will always be one kid who does it. But there's always one kid who gets it and that's my boy. He needs an AS school but can't go w/o a statement and he suffers too much to go to school to get it. He really does suffer with result being chewing the skin off his hands, sucking his arms to bruised stage, banging his head and regresses generally and withdraws into a "more" autistic world. t This has been going on for years and, the denial from schools and it stops now. The SENCO has actually been really good till now, but he has had enough and will not believe me when I say how much he suffers.

 

Yesterday I called social services to ask them to intervene and ask if we could use the new CAF system, especially as one of the categories is children who are persistent non-attenders and those whose problems prevent them learning, or something like that. I ended up in tears for an hour while she listened. Just that amazed me - she listened. I am waiting on a call back

 

Thanks for reading. There are many more sides to this but this is briefly where i stand

 

Just a hello and welcome would be lovely and a tip on where to post this plea for help as I'm not sure which of the threads to go in or pick up a new one. But if anyone has/is having the same issues and would like to share help, advice that would be wonderful.

 

One last thing, I have fixed my typos in this message but usually I just leave them as long as they are readable. hands painful while typing. Patience (ooh, you will ALL have that!) would be appreciated. Thanks

 

Kellyx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[lbj]

I'm pretty new here so I've nothing practical offer - just to say that I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and I hope you get some support for your son soon.

 

janine

Edited January 23, 2009 by lbj

[ScienceGeek]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that I don't have any practical advice to offer, I really hope that your son gets the help he needs and soon. <'>

 

SG

[Clare63]

Kelly,

 

Firstly a very warm welcome to the forum, this is a wonderful place to find support, advice and understanding.

 

I am so sorry to hear of the terrible time your son is expereincing at school and of how he is suffering and self harming as a result.

 

I think it is imperative that you put in a request for a statement straight away, if the SENCO won't do it, then you have everyright as a parent to make the request yourself (we did). I also think you should asked for an urgent meeting at school to discuss what is going on and to ask what action the school are taking to prevent it, your son has a right to an education in a safe environment.

 

Just to give you a bit of background to our situation, my son was dx'd with Aspergers in Jan 07, really struggled with mainstream secondary education and by year 8 was signed off sick by our GP with what could be called a nervous breakdown. He was out of school for a year and 3 months, during that time we were able to get him a statement and had support from COOS (Children out of school Support Team) who provided a home tutor and a mentor. Throughtout that time we fought for a place at a special school for aspergers (part of the Priory Group) and he finaly started in Nov 08. Just this very morning my husband and I have been to school for a progress review and are pleased to report that our child is now flourishing. Its been far from easy and we have had to fight very hard and ask for lots of help, but it is achievable, this forum has provided me with so much help, advice, support and encouragement to get where we are today.

 

My advice is to use all the information provided on this forum, for example under education heading have a look at the pinned topic's and relevant links. Do not be afraid to ask loads of question and to share your emotions, thought and feeling with people who really do understanding.

 

If you think I can help in anyway please do not hesitate to ask either via posting or by sending me a pm. Please don't allow your child to continue to suffer, he's a bright boy with so much to offer.

 

Good luck

 

Clare x x x

[Kookoo123]

thanks so much, Clare, I had been wanting to do SEN application but its sucha daunting task to do my self and now with this site, iIll have the support to do it.

 

i ahdn't even heard of the COOs team. I have looked at priory group too and found them very positive.

 

 

Oh, guess what

 

My son is Connor, aged 13, AS dx!

 

Lots in common already.

 

Thanks again

 

kelly

[NickyB]

Hello and welcome Kelly <'>

[Suze]

sounds like your really going through it at the moment <'> , hang on in there <'> , this forum will help

[Clare63]

thanks so much, Clare, I had been wanting to do SEN application but its sucha daunting task to do my self and now with this site, iIll have the support to do it.

 

i ahdn't even heard of the COOs team. I have looked at priory group too and found them very positive.

 

 

Oh, guess what

 

My son is Connor, aged 13, AS dx!

 

Lots in common already.

 

Thanks again

 

kelly

 

Ah bless you....

 

As I said before if you need a hand, please do not hesitate to ask, to be honest I could not have done all what we have done without the help and support form this forum so now hopefuly I can now share that with you.

 

Clare x x x

 

[Kathryn]

Hi Kelly,

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I typed out a long reply but unfortunately lost it - so here's the abridged version!

 

Just wanted to give you encouragement for the battle ahead,. I was in a similar position with regard to my child's education when I first joined this forum in desperate straits. After suffering severe depression four years ago because of school, my daughter is now doing really well at college. You and your son will come through this.

 

You may have a long fight ahead but don't despair, just hang on to what you want for your son and take it step by step. Lots of help and support available here and if we can't, we can point you in the right direction. So many people here will understand what it's like, and many of them have stories of success to give you hope for the future.

 

Here's information about requesting a statutory assessment, (the first step to a statement). Tthere's a link to a model letter you can download.

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#RequestingAssessment

 

Anything else you need, just ask!

 

K x

Edited January 27, 2009 by Kathryn

[JsMum]

 

 

Kelly hi, I am very relieved you have found a great and supportive place to come and get some great advice and support both for you and your son, and he sounds very dearing, and obvously understands what is making him so unwell and that he really does need his needs assessing.

 

you are going to learn a lot and you will be amazed what you do eventually take on and cope with.

I would never ever dreamed of reading Code of Practice, and other SEN legislation, Ive read a lot throw the Education section.

 

Kelly your a strong mum and I can hear how much pain your going throw listening to your son, witnessing what he is doing to himself and when he shares with you his discription of the school day which does sound very stressful and confusing and clearly not meeting his needs especially emotionally.

 

I really do hope that we can further support you, just as I got support from this place and other parents, just reading other parents and what they was going throw really put a lot of reliefe as I knew it wasnt just my boy who couldnt cope in his learning enviroment at the time.

 

My son is nearly 12 and he has recently gone into a special school and though there is still challenges ahead he is now progressing, and has his learning needs met and already he is seeming a lot happier, he is buzzing today.

 

It is a battle but well worth it when you get your child back.

 

Good Luck and a warm welcome hug. <'>

 

JsMum

 

[Moll]

Just a though that when i was wanting people to take seriously what was happening with my son some one suggested videoing him on my mobile phone, would this help you when he is biting his skin and such if you could get some discreet footage it may help your case.

[JsMum]

Just a though that when i was wanting people to take seriously what was happening with my son some one suggested videoing him on my mobile phone, would this help you when he is biting his skin and such if you could get some discreet footage it may help your case.

 

 

 

I videod Joshua one morning and gave it to his headteacher and he was very helpful with helping me get support, I would recommend this too, but make sure they do not know they are been videoed.

 

I have another idea, could your lad write a journel, could he write down how he feels and what he is going throw at the moment, it may help him express some of that supressed anger that he no daught has as he is constantly goaded at school, self harm is often a result of anger and deep anxiety.

 

JsMum

 

Edited January 24, 2009 by JsMum

[Kookoo123]

<'> To to you all for tyour sopport

 

I am supposed to be writing a shopping list but just wanted to quickly sa thanks very much, I'll keep you all updated and will definiatley be needing lots of help

 

Kelly x

[Kookoo123]

Hello, everybody

 

Well I have taken the first step and printed off IPSEA's Letter. I did this years ago when he was first dx and spent most of hid days disrupting the class and being traumatized. I had no help and wrote a really bad, why? section. The letter from the school never appeared. But they had already written a letter to my Specialist dr explainig his difficu;ite in school, hinting to bad parenting. (they actualy asked me if Iregularly hit him).

 

But I have chated with one of Connor's carers from Crossroads Charity. They are amazing, a antional service so if you feel you do need a break, Pleases call, you can self -refer. Everyone who qualiflies is entitled to 3 hours a week. He egts taken swimming or wall climbing which he is fabulous at. Theres a long list here for places but it moves quite quick, I got service in 6 weeks two years ago and it is so nice, we all love his smiley drippy face when he come in. And we can have some quiet time. Well, perhaps not, his brother is pretty loud.

Its supposed to give us a berak but treally, its for him as he adores it and his carers and it makes him so so happy

 

She suggested that for now I simply put that atteneding full time mainstream school has in past and is again severely affecting his mental health and give a brief list of the reasons i.e sensory, environment, teasing, homework, journey home etc. If I do this can I still put in a longer parental observation later? I would like to get this going, the school still haven't contacted me since Jan 16th. I am calling them today, again, was at hospital appt yesterday which was good news for a change. ( no change in a minor heart complint) but that exhausted me so the idea of calling and demanding and explaining, wow its all so tiring. I have a limited amount of energy for use each day and I have budget it like money. So I just wondered if any one has any opinons, as in wait and do a longer, more professional one or, like I prefer get it going?

 

I found a brilliant resource in the NAS pages, called START HERE, for where to go when you don't know where to go. Its amazing and I ended up calling Young Minds who sent huge amount of stuff, most of it very good just a few bits i don't need. And there were resources on that I haven't heard of and will call too.

 

Um, guess that should be in resources. I'll post a properlink in there later when I figure out how.

 

Me n The Lad had a long chat and finally he understand he can't go to college just based on the fact that he is excellant at prgramming already. He writes massivley long scripts on a website he loves and last 'game' he made had 300 hits in minutes and everyone loved it. If anyone says he doesn't have imagination again, I'll.... well, you can imagine. Anyway, he very tearfully agreed that he must go fo ICT, Maths English and science and then the teachers can concentrate on weeding out the kids from thos efew lessons. I just don't want them to insist that after this goes well, he must add in other lessons. I can tutor English and Art at home, tailored to his needs. I'll buy a language cd programme. I know we don't need to follow the curriculum if it were full HE but i will need to if i am aiming for a permanent part time schedule. Swimming once a week and running about like a daft thing in the garden, thats PE sorted!

 

Must ask admins about posting this site I mentioned. its fantastic for kids who want to get into programming and need a springboard. Its so much fun I daren't have a go or I'll be on it all the time.

 

Thanks to you all, again, and Clare, I think I will be needing much of your expertise as in the similarities of our children being out of school.

all together now...thats how it works

 

Kelly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Clare63]

Hiya kelly,

 

Wow you have been busy, sometimes all we need is a little encouragement and motivation to get going and you have done fantasically well already.

 

When you put in your application the authority will decided whether they think your case if worth looking at and send your the formal application. So it is quite important to provide them with as much information as possible (I typed all my applications and kept copies, so it was easier at a later date to cut and paste info I had given before so save keep writing it over and over again, plus you can always add stuff to what you said before or elaborate further). Advice I was given was to include what steps the school and any outside agencies have taken to provide inclusion and things they have done to try and resolve problems/issues/ difficulties etc., They want to see that the school have made efforts to resolve things, othwerwise they may just send you back saying you need to approach the school in the first instance to resolve and give them a chance to do so, before they agree to looking at statement. Its almost like you have to back up your claims for support by providing evidence.

 

The whole process is all very exhausting, particulary emotionally, I am pleased to hear you are very aware of your enegery levels as you will need to keep these in tact along the way, so ensure you take lots of breaks and try to give yourself a little bit of "me time"

 

As I said before I am more than happy to give you my support and share my expereinces.

 

Clare x x x

 

PS you 'll have to pm me your son's web game so I can show my Connor, he is mad on such stuff, though knowing him he is probably one of the 300 hits

[joanne1]

Hello, everybody

 

Well I have taken the first step and printed off IPSEA's Letter. I did this years ago when he was first dx and spent most of hid days disrupting the class and being traumatized. I had no help and wrote a really bad, why? section. The letter from the school never appeared. But they had already written a letter to my Specialist dr explainig his difficu;ite in school, hinting to bad parenting. (they actualy asked me if Iregularly hit him).

 

But I have chated with one of Connor's carers from Crossroads Charity. They are amazing, a antional service so if you feel you do need a break, Pleases call, you can self -refer. Everyone who qualiflies is entitled to 3 hours a week. He egts taken swimming or wall climbing which he is fabulous at. Theres a long list here for places but it moves quite quick, I got service in 6 weeks two years ago and it is so nice, we all love his smiley drippy face when he come in. And we can have some quiet time. Well, perhaps not, his brother is pretty loud.

Its supposed to give us a berak but treally, its for him as he adores it and his carers and it makes him so so happy

 

She suggested that for now I simply put that atteneding full time mainstream school has in past and is again severely affecting his mental health and give a brief list of the reasons i.e sensory, environment, teasing, homework, journey home etc. If I do this can I still put in a longer parental observation later? I would like to get this going, the school still haven't contacted me since Jan 16th. I am calling them today, again, was at hospital appt yesterday which was good news for a change. ( no change in a minor heart complint) but that exhausted me so the idea of calling and demanding and explaining, wow its all so tiring. I have a limited amount of energy for use each day and I have budget it like money. So I just wondered if any one has any opinons, as in wait and do a longer, more professional one or, like I prefer get it going?

 

I found a brilliant resource in the NAS pages, called START HERE, for where to go when you don't know where to go. Its amazing and I ended up calling Young Minds who sent huge amount of stuff, most of it very good just a few bits i don't need. And there were resources on that I haven't heard of and will call too.

 

Um, guess that should be in resources. I'll post a properlink in there later when I figure out how.

 

Me n The Lad had a long chat and finally he understand he can't go to college just based on the fact that he is excellant at prgramming already. He writes massivley long scripts on a website he loves and last 'game' he made had 300 hits in minutes and everyone loved it. If anyone says he doesn't have imagination again, I'll.... well, you can imagine. Anyway, he very tearfully agreed that he must go fo ICT, Maths English and science and then the teachers can concentrate on weeding out the kids from thos efew lessons. I just don't want them to insist that after this goes well, he must add in other lessons. I can tutor English and Art at home, tailored to his needs. I'll buy a language cd programme. I know we don't need to follow the curriculum if it were full HE but i will need to if i am aiming for a permanent part time schedule. Swimming once a week and running about like a daft thing in the garden, thats PE sorted!

 

Must ask admins about posting this site I mentioned. its fantastic for kids who want to get into programming and need a springboard. Its so much fun I daren't have a go or I'll be on it all the time.

 

Thanks to you all, again, and Clare, I think I will be needing much of your expertise as in the similarities of our children being out of school.

all together now...thats how it works

 

Kelly

 

 

 

Hi there,

 

I am new to all of this, just getting diagnosis. My son is 13 and things can be hard work. Even today his refusal to wear school shoes caused uproar!!!

 

I was interested to read that you had received some great info from young minds. You said that you got the link from NAS page called start now. And that there were other links too. As I have no info whats so ever I was interested to take a look. We are in limbo at the moment. How ever I went on NAS but couldn't find the START NOW page. I dont suppose you could let me know how to find it. It would be much appreciated.

 

 

My son went through a stage of self harm at junior school. I didn't even know until school told me that he did it often. It broke my heart, he was about 8 then.

 

I hope things work out for you, and life becomes a little easier. It is a long road isn't it?

 

Joanne

[Kookoo123]

Hi, everybody, quick update:

 

I spoke to a specialist ed advisor from young minds who didn't tell me much more than I knew but I did get another re-assurance that keeping him off school until they put something in place to proect his mental health was very understandable. We went through writing to the school to demand a meeting and after an hour and a hlaf of doing that the E.W.O (education welfare officer) finally rang.

 

The most important thing I told her was next time they are deciding wehther or not he is coping, ask US how he is at home.

 

She went very silent and then totally agreed.

 

The upshot is a multi-agency meeting but only after she comes back from leave mid-february. She couldn't see a problem with a part-time schedule at school for now. She is goimg to push CAMHS for an appt really soon. She actually said the word 'school-phobic', as in a suggestion. And agrees he needs to see CAMHS really soon, to review himand see just how bad this all is. Answer: very.

 

Then NAS rang and she helped me with the first tsep at parental assessment, something I've done before, badly. I realsised I haven'y seen an IEP since he atarted and some comments, such as he had a helper but then we took her away because he seemed ok..... I thought, hang on, they are not spending anything of his funding on him as far as I can see. Not a penny. So i have requested IEP, overview of his support and copies of outside referral requests. Issue is, county will likely say they could do more yet, but as he has failed at one school already with full support, it could go other way

 

So I'll still be needing you all, but at last i have some confidence in myself.

 

As it is, the young man and I had a chat over bedtime yesterday and he expressed guilt at how he had treated us the previous night!!!!!!!!!1

 

He just loves us too much, loves home too much, feels safe. But al our kids should feel just as safe in school.

 

As I write, I am still waiting to hear back from the school..... I'll let you know.

 

Kelly

 

 

 

 

[Clare63]

Kelly,

 

What a great start, sounds like people are starting to listen and you have empowered yourself to take action rather than wait for the school to do something.

 

Parents in Partnership Surrey were also very helpful for me and proved to be another scource on "your side" as it were, I found them to be very supportive and sent me lots of information. I'll dig my paperwork and pm you the telephone number.

 

Do you know who will be attending the multiagency meeting ? as you are quite near me, I would not be surprised if someone from the COOS (Children out of school) agency will be there, whilst their role is to get the child back into school, they will undertake their own assessment and tailor it to the individual child, with my Connor's case they knew it would be a long shot to get him back from whence he came and that it would take a long time. Not only did they work with Connor they also provided me with enormous support as a parent and with a mentor visting the home several times a week a good relationship was built. I do however rememeber that COOS will usually only work with children under CAMHS, I am not sure if your son is with them yet, I am guessing it could be at the same hospital as us ?

 

Although its bound to be a long journey, I feel quite excited for you, you've made a brillaint start and will now hopefully get lots of help for your son and his education

 

Clare x x x

[Kookoo123]

Thanks Clare,

 

yes he is under CAMHS but as his dr is on maternity leave, they are looking to see who else could be the best source.

 

I have never had COOS even mentioned. It is in my notes for the appt.

 

The wish for the meeting is:

 

EWO, Ed Psych, Me, Head, SENCO and possibly Outreach from Freemantles, they worked with Connor's junior school and the school ignored it all! She mentiones someone else but I cannot remeber who. I have been in touch with PWP before and am going to call them again.

 

Unsurprisingly, I have heard nothing from the school. They are running scared now, no doubt doing damage recovery before they can get blamed for anything. The SENCO and i get on so well, I do not want to upset him but he has done all he can Connor still isn't at school, therefore the situation, according to NAS is a clear indicator that they cannot do enough under School Action Plus. I bet county don't see it that way! But the previous EWO at his old school had apparently said to the current one, be warned, I don't know if he will make it and to listen when I say its too much. They seem to be on my side for a change.

 

I am hoping for the COOS team to get involved, I think, well, know Connor needs someone to talk to and also I need someone. Its hard being at home and having to say no to invites out. And of course, the computer becomes his sitter and although he is programming, its still not good. I feel so much guilt over that.

 

i have 3 hours a week respite with Crossroads which is great. Yes, I feel good now, It si a long way to go but like you said, i feel empowered again after so long of feeling knocked back

 

Watch out, LEA, here I come!

 

 

[**Mia]

Hello Kelly

[Kookoo123]

Hello, I have been really ill with my my RSD ( its a neurological-immunopathic disorder causing severe pain/muscle spasms, short term memory loss and other issues.) My spasms have progressed ro what I believe are dystonic/clonic.tonic tics, a horrible movement disorder to add into the pot. I wil find myself in a pose, not knowing what I am doing. The other morning, ahortly after waking, i had my l arm in the air, holding my eyelids open on my l eye. Didn't know i was doing it - you kind of blank out like a petit mal seizure. My body is permanently tensed up, all over and then my arm/leg/waist/head will jerk violenlty. Yuk Ah well.

 

So I haven't been on much. But this is where I am at:

I sent a formal request to the school for cpoies of IEPs/ where his SA+ funding was being used, etc and an overview of the help given to connor, and where they expected to go next. Well, that a week ago and i know its half term, but i haven't even had an email acknowledgemnt. Of course, I forgot to put in a time scale for when i expected this information to be returned.

 

I have now received a letter from head of house warning me about the attendance and threatening me - and it was supposed to be intimidating - it didn't work!- with a meeting and that tthe EWO ( education welfare officer) would be there. I have already, on my own, organised a meeting with the EWO, senco, head of year, head of school, and hopefully someone from CAMHS>

 

It just show that as usaul, th eleft hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.

That still confuses Connor! It means that people are not talking to each other and two or more peoplpe are doing the same thing.

 

Ok, One good thing, and I nominate my Connor for my personal Champion of the Week! (That would be good, a star of the week, not voting or anything, just a thread where people can put in good things someone has done and call that someone their star of the week!)

 

DH and Connor and I were on the way to Charing Cross Hospital in London, for an appointment for me. Well, we were driving along and we heard a gringding noise the a smelled smoke, then amoke satarted pouring out under the wheel arch. I stayed nice n calm and got C out of the car and dad checked. No fire but lots of smoke.

Cut a long story short, the car had to be towed and we were in middle of London, younget child organized with child care but daughter not, two hours from home time ans she had left her key at home.

Connor managed to stay calm. He was dealhly white, he was worried that the others would be worried because he would be worried, even though at that point they didn't know anything, even 10 yr old son would be told we were running late.He couldn't get that part but at least he was trying to look at something from others point of view. But the best part was he DID NOT freak out. I was expecting screams, tears, fear and all. He just kept saying, this isn't what we expected is it? He even tried to make a joke.

I guess it shows our kids can surprise us. That sudden;y, something will click and one more step has been achieved. So many many steps to go but oh so many achieved. It made me look back on what he has achieved since he was a screaming, biting, fighting scared 5 year old. We still have the huge problem of school to be overcome.

So, Luckily we got a cab just round the corner from where the car was towed and we got home in time. Unfortunately, its had to be scrapped, it was only about 11 years old. Just because we didn't see the warning light, or maybe it failed.

 

So, thats whats been happening. I just wondered, what is the legal postioin of this request - I am sure they have to provide it, I know and said I have to pay reasonable photocopying charge. And how can I handle this other letter. Part of me wants to reply in full, stating everything I have doen and the lack of action by the school. But that could be seen as beligerent and get them off-side. I also could just write and say, i have already organised a meeting, date to be confirmed.

 

Thanks, guys, hope you are all well as can be. Yet aggain, I have talked for ages but thats nott as bad as when your with the live me. I can ramble for ever!

 

Al the best to you, Kellyx

 

 

 

[Kathryn]

Hi Kelly,

 

It's good to see you back here and sorry to hear about your health problems in the meantime. The tale of your emergency in London shows that our children can surpass all expectations and surprise us in a crisis! My daughter did similar when we had a house fire several years ago, in the middle of the panic, she calmly removed her little brother to the park outside to distract him.

 

I sent a formal request to the school for cpoies of IEPs/ where his SA+ funding was being used, etc and an overview of the help given to connor, and where they expected to go next. Well, that a week ago and i know its half term, but i haven't even had an email acknowledgemnt. Of course, I forgot to put in a time scale for when i expected this information to be returned.

 

In answer to your question above , take a look at the link below which gives information about the different timescales for providing information, and what you can do if the school doesn't respond. They should provide copies of what's in his file within 15 working days, getting other information out of them may not be so straightforward.

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/complaints-index.htm Scroll down to "Complain to Information Commissioner".

 

Hope it helps

 

K x

[Mandapanda]

Hi Kelly

 

My youngest son has not been to school since May 2008. He suffers from severe anxiety and depression. I have posted under Education title School Phobia/Refusal. I have been surprised as there have been several other people who have had children not going to school. The school makes you feel like your child is the only one in the history of the universe to not go!

 

Our experience was that the school, CAMHS and doctors only focussed on us getting Aw back to school. The doctor wouldn't sign him off sick even when I pointed out that an adult who was that depressed and anxious would be signed off work. No professionals have ever mentioned COOS to us, but maybe there's not one in Hampshire - I'll look into it.

 

Our EWO was a lovely lady with a son with AS, so was very understanding. She said they usually had about 50 children on their books at any one time - that's a lot of children not attending school for many different reasons. She said she would not be looking at prosecution under the circumstances which was a relief to me!! We haven't heard from her in some months now.

 

I hadn't even thought of requesting assessment of my son as older son (who appeared to have more difficulties) has never been assessed, statemented, or even received much help within school. Clare suggested that to me as well and I am looking into this, though not as quick off the mark as you.

 

At the moment we are trying to maintain some contact with Home Tutor sent by the LEA. Online learning failed due to Aw's anxiety. Aw had two good sessions with Home Tutor, then much loved Grandma passed away (24/1/09) and he hasn't been able to face it since. Hoping he'll do half an hour tomorrow. Home Tutor is trying to find out what happens if he can't do that.

 

My eldest son goes to school and my husband works full-time. I work part-time and, I'm afraid to say, I feel very trapped on my days off because Aw is here all the time, I get no time on my own, I feel I can't go out until he is awake so I can tell him and sometimes this has been 1-2pm (after he's been up in the night - meaning I lose sleep). I find it extremely stressful and draining and I'm pretty much 100% in good health.

 

Well done on what you are achieving and good luck with everything. <'> <'> <'>