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jonathan

Do all children with A.S want to do the wrong things?

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HELP!! I am desperate my 9 year old found a way on his computer to hack into the settings on

our router and went on the internet, when we were respecting his privacy and niavely thinking he

was playing computer games in between he was going into sites that had bad pictures on

I am sooo upset by this, his computer has a adult site restrictions on it and he managed to turn that off as well, he also says he enjoys the pictures as well, what happened to my child? I feel i don't know him and blame my husband who put the router on so he could get on the internet himself for work purposes, I am frightened these pictures will give him idea's my mind is going on overdrive with worry as some of them showed HORROR type pictures on them, this could disturb him from the rest of his life, I feel we are totally to blame as if we had kept a closer eye on things this wouldn't have happened, is this usual behaviour for a child with A.S to want to see such horrible pictures and more so to enjoy seeing them as well, we have removed the router completely but I feel we have shut the door too late after the horse has boulted, he says he doesn't like football, science or any other kids things he just likes evil things(his words not mine) do I now put this behind us or see a doctor about it PLEASE HELP, PLEASE I am at my witts end!

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Well I would tell someone if you are under CAHMS, but maybe its no more than looking up rude words in a dictionary, only now kids have access to these awful sites, with pics and videos. my 9 yr old daughter, nt and as good as gold, told me that the boys in her class kept telling them all about the things they had seen on their computors and telling the other kids which sites to look up! there was some pretty awful ones, and these are "normal" kids in a mainstream school. So it may not be as bad as you think. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Enid

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Well I know this is after the horse has bolted but--

 

I would never let a child have access to the Internet with out supervision. Even with parental locks etc as kids will soon figure out how to over ride them.

I our house the computer (we only have one) is in the living room were we can see every thing that is going on.

 

And for that matter and I know that we are probably well out of step with what is now considered the norm but our older children did not have a television in their rooms until they were 16+. I intend to do the same with our younger son.

(Our main/only telly only has a 14" screen.!!!)

 

-------------------------------------------

 

I know the images that you boy has seen are disturbing to you but I would not overreact. (about the pictures that is ) The other things about "evil" I don't really know, I would have to put it into context of what else is going on.

 

 

 

 

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From my experience this isn,t normal behaviour for any 9 yr old.My AS son would never try something like that, he very much likes rules and guidlines and likes to stick to them .I,d get some advice from a doctor at camhs as your son is still very young.The computer should be banned for now I think.Best wishes , try not to worry too much suzex

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i agree with the others our home computer (we only have the one) is in the main living room it is only used by the kids for homework and they are supervised for that. I would go and see someone too while its not unusual for a boy that age (my ds2 is 8) to be curious he would never look it up on the computer. Kids now adays have enough internet/computer usage at school where the restiction setting are ALOT higher. I would ban him from using the one at home unless it is homework related and then fully supervised.

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I would say it is normal for any 9 year old boy to want to see what they should not. As for saying he likes evil things - I feel that needs a bit more investigation. I would also be concerned that viewing such pictures did not become an obsession.

 

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i would suggest either banning him from the computer completely or getting a better internet filter. our kids are only allowed on the computer after asking permission every time. we also have an internet filter which is so strong that for them, i have blocked every single website, then re-allowed certain sites that i know are safe (specific childrens sites such as cbbc, which do not link to anything undesirable (the links wouldn't work any way but i think the temptation would be unfair). i dont allow access to anything with a 'search' facility (wikipedia etc.). if they need information they look it up in a book.

 

if you're concerned about what he's looking at speak to someone in the know. but i would say the first step is to make sure he can't see it in the first place!

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Hi jonathan, I was thinking about this in bed last night! It's probable that your lad's conception of 'evil' is totally different to ours. My lad used to use the word evil a lot when he was younger. The baddy Transformers were 'evil', the guy disguised as a mummy in Scooby Doo was 'evil', it was a lack of vocabulary thing really and what your lad thinks of as evil bears no relation to what the word brings to mind for us. Obviously, your lad has been looking at disturbing images, so that is a bit less innocent. Does he watch a lot of cartoons or films, could he be looking at the images on the pc in a similar way to them do you think? I just wanted to reassure you about the word 'evil' really, and that it might not be as scary as you might think, because at 9 he doesn't really know what evil is, not in the true sense of the word.

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi jonathan, I was thinking about this in bed last night! It's probable that your lad's conception of 'evil' is totally different to ours. My lad used to use the word evil a lot when he was younger. The baddy Transformers were 'evil', the guy disguised as a mummy in Scooby Doo was 'evil', it was a lack of vocabulary thing really and what your lad thinks of as evil bears no relation to what the word brings to mind for us. Obviously, your lad has been looking at disturbing images, so that is a bit less innocent. Does he watch a lot of cartoons or films, could he be looking at the images on the pc in a similar way to them do you think? I just wanted to reassure you about the word 'evil' really, and that it might not be as scary as you might think, because at 9 he doesn't really know what evil is, not in the true sense of the word.

 

~ Mel ~

Sorry to all that replied to my question, I have only just seen all your answers as my sister in law had a massive heart attack and is in ICU so has been really poorly, thanks for all your replies the internet was immediately removed and he has been off the computer now since my last post we have been guiding him in another direction and have spoken to CAMHS who say really what OXGIRL has quoted that his conception of bad things is totally different to ours and after having a consultant talk to him, his finally reply was that it wasn't real and was quite surprised at our overeaction to it !abit like he was watching a movie, abit scary but it isn't real, hopefully with this in mind it won't have a long term effect(which was my main worry) but needless

to say the internet is banned from now on and so is the computer for the time being, we just explained that spending too much time on it will give him headaches, rather than drawing too much attention to what has happened, when he is older we will should be able to explain it better too him

thankyou for all you help

 

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Well I know this is after the horse has bolted but--

 

I would never let a child have access to the Internet with out supervision. Even with parental locks etc as kids will soon figure out how to over ride them.

I our house the computer (we only have one) is in the living room were we can see every thing that is going on.

 

And for that matter and I know that we are probably well out of step with what is now considered the norm but our older children did not have a television in their rooms until they were 16+. I intend to do the same with our younger son.

(Our main/only telly only has a 14" screen.!!!)

 

-------------------------------------------

 

I know the images that you boy has seen are disturbing to you but I would not overreact. (about the pictures that is ) The other things about "evil" I don't really know, I would have to put it into context of what else is going on.

I totally agree with you and that is exactly how it was until my husband put the router on, I did stress this too him at the time but after endless arguements I weakened, my husband has A.S himself and can be quite tunnel vision when it come to my views and opinions and so I let him bully me into it, from now on I will always trust my own fears and not be swayed by anything when it come to my child, apparently I was neurotic (so he said), now I know different and so does he, but too late I'm afraid, bad parenting obviously on my part!

 

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