Newbie looking for advice

[babnye1]

Hi

 

I am new here and looking for advice/support.

 

My son is almost 6. I never noticed anything unusal about him until he satrted school last year. He was just my lovely, imaginative, kind boy - he still is!.

 

When he started school, he seemed to have problems with other children in the playground - or at least one specific child - who would hit and push. He is imaginative and there seemed to be alot of 'play fighting' going on without much guidance from adults. it was not something he ever did at home.

 

My son was as good as gold in class but there were a couple of incidents where he was reprimanded for retaliating and as time went on, I could see he found it difficult to deal with some of the other children who were quite aggressive.

 

The Head changed at the start of Sept and I went to speak to her about completely unrelated matters. She raised, in a rather abrupt and insensitive way, a few concerns she had about 'sensory' issues. She didn't call them this but I could see what she was getting at.

 

My son had been chewing books/pencils and she put this together with the fact that he had problems with playground play and toilet 'accidents' when he first started and seemed to be trying to suggest something was wrong.

 

We had decided to change schools in any event as the chaotic playground environment of this massive infants school was not right for my son. I pushed the head on the issues she raised and she backed off saying she didn't think there was anything to worry about.

 

These things stick in your head though!

 

Anyway, my son has been at his new school since October and he really likes it. However, since about Christmas, I have been getting increasingly worried about what I see is more pronounced, age-inappropriate behaviour. For example:

 

(i) he chews things - paper, cushions you name it

(ii) he has complete meltdowns about the slightest thing, like a toddler, screaming and kicking - he never did this as a toddler!!

(iii) he is very possessive about particular toys; he uses a toy gun as 'protection' when he goes into nervous situations and if you touch it (or if his younger brother touches it!) he goes crazy

(iv) the list of foods he will eat is decreasing - pasta/pizza - I never know what to do about packed lunches

(v) he is hypersensitive to the point of hysteria about smells - he will gag or be sick when this is particularly bad

(vi) he is hypersensitive to clothing and shoes - he had to wear boots and a plain t-shirt to school for the first three weeks of term

(vii) he seems to find change very difficult - being off for two days with the snow really through him and he was hysterical at the thought of going back to school today

(viii) he gets very anxious and agitated in certain situations e.g. picking up younger brother from nursery - he won't speak to people and gets quite aggressive - very unlike him

 

I spoke to my health visitor and she spoke to the GP. I then spoke to the GP who has referred him to a community paediatrician. She thought, given his imagination, concentration, empathy, it might be something along the lines of dyspraxia (can't ride a bike/finds swimming difficult).

 

The school have not noticed anything but I have kept them posted. I feel like I'm going a bit mad as they seem to see nothign wrong yet I have a 6 year old in tears in the morning if his underpants aren't 'right'. The GP says it is common for parents to notice these things first.

 

In the meantime, I find it dificult to know how to deal with issues as they arise. Sometimes, I feel I need to point out to the teacher that he has been particularly worked up/worried but I feel like they might think I'm just an old fuss pot pathologising her son's behaviour!

 

There might be nothing wrong and if there is, I'm not sure what it would be. He's very happy most of the time so these types of behaviour really stand out and seem more odd as he gets older.

 

I wanted to post here as someone mentioned AS/HFA and I wanted some more info. My son is affectionate and seems to be empathic and I wondered whether that would rule this out.

 

Thanks for listening!

[NickyB]

Hello and welome

 

I'm no expert, but it certainly sounds to me like you've got some valid concerns.

 

My son is almost 6 and was diagnosed with HFA when he was at nursery. In his case, the issues were quite obvious from an early age (no interaction with his peers, meltdown when things are different), but sometimes the issues can be a bit more difficult to spot until they are a bit older.

 

It does sound from what you've said that he might have some sensory issues and also some problems dealing with unexpected change.

 

I might be worth looking on the NAS (national autistic society) website, as they have lots of information about autistic spectrum disorders. Here's a link :NAS

 

Hopefully, you'll get some answers from the paediatrician soon. In the meantime, it might be useful to keep a diary of the things that happen - I always find I go blank when someone asks for examples of my son's problems, so it's useful to have something to refer to.

 

In the meantime, keep strong and go with your instincts

 

Nicky <'>

[joanne1]

Hello there,

 

I am pretty new to this myself. My son is 13 and going through dx at the minute.

 

My advice is if you feel there is something , find out and do what you can to get it noticed.

 

The reason I say this is through out my sons school life I have been fobbed off when I have said 'this is not normal' and something isnt right. I took him doctors too, but nothing.

 

He is in his second year at secondary school and right from him starting they noticed straight away, and so we are in the process of sorting it out. I wished I had pushed harder because I feel like we have been let down and we cant get these school years back. His education and lots of other things have suffered.

 

 

Hopefully you will hear something soon but as Nicky said go with your instinct, I wished I did.

 

Joanne

[smiley1590]

heya sounds like your son having so many difficulties with everything he is faced with i have dyspraxia and AS and feel personally he could have both too be worth speaking to the NAS (National,Autistic,Society) and the dyspraxia foundation type in google search box to find out more on each of these hope this helps get more info and get proper help and advise good luck with this all hope you find what the answers you looking for! keep fighting through get as much help and support as possible as well as info the more you know better chance your son has later in understanding himself does LDs like dyspraxia or AS run in your fam history...? do you know...? did you have bad birth with him...? has other related ASD disorders been ruled out such as PDDNOS,etc ...? as there are loads of labels he could fall into even though he empathic and affectionate could still very much be suffering from a different type of ASD! apart from AS/HFA! look further research and read books and sites on net as loads these days! do get him assessed by pead was he a slow developer (developmental delay...?) as dyspraxics esp r wid physically and daily living skills such dressing ,washing.brushing hair and teeth so is AS /autistics!

 

take care

kirst-lou XxXx

[NickyB]

Hello again. Meant to say earlier, my son is also very affectionate, sometimes in an inappropriate way such as hugging a workman on the way home today

 

He can have empathy, too, but usually towards animals rather than people - so this doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility of an ASD (if that makes sense )

 

Nicky x

[pompomx2]

Hi

 

I am new here and looking for advice/support.

 

My son is almost 6. I never noticed anything unusal about him until he satrted school last year. He was just my lovely, imaginative, kind boy - he still is!.

 

When he started school, he seemed to have problems with other children in the playground - or at least one specific child - who would hit and push. He is imaginative and there seemed to be alot of 'play fighting' going on without much guidance from adults. it was not something he ever did at home.

 

My son was as good as gold in class but there were a couple of incidents where he was reprimanded for retaliating and as time went on, I could see he found it difficult to deal with some of the other children who were quite aggressive.

 

The Head changed at the start of Sept and I went to speak to her about completely unrelated matters. She raised, in a rather abrupt and insensitive way, a few concerns she had about 'sensory' issues. She didn't call them this but I could see what she was getting at.

 

My son had been chewing books/pencils and she put this together with the fact that he had problems with playground play and toilet 'accidents' when he first started and seemed to be trying to suggest something was wrong.

 

We had decided to change schools in any event as the chaotic playground environment of this massive infants school was not right for my son. I pushed the head on the issues she raised and she backed off saying she didn't think there was anything to worry about.

 

These things stick in your head though!

 

Anyway, my son has been at his new school since October and he really likes it. However, since about Christmas, I have been getting increasingly worried about what I see is more pronounced, age-inappropriate behaviour. For example:

 

(i) he chews things - paper, cushions you name it

(ii) he has complete meltdowns about the slightest thing, like a toddler, screaming and kicking - he never did this as a toddler!!

(iii) he is very possessive about particular toys; he uses a toy gun as 'protection' when he goes into nervous situations and if you touch it (or if his younger brother touches it!) he goes crazy

(iv) the list of foods he will eat is decreasing - pasta/pizza - I never know what to do about packed lunches

(v) he is hypersensitive to the point of hysteria about smells - he will gag or be sick when this is particularly bad

(vi) he is hypersensitive to clothing and shoes - he had to wear boots and a plain t-shirt to school for the first three weeks of term

(vii) he seems to find change very difficult - being off for two days with the snow really through him and he was hysterical at the thought of going back to school today

(viii) he gets very anxious and agitated in certain situations e.g. picking up younger brother from nursery - he won't speak to people and gets quite aggressive - very unlike him

 

I spoke to my health visitor and she spoke to the GP. I then spoke to the GP who has referred him to a community paediatrician. She thought, given his imagination, concentration, empathy, it might be something along the lines of dyspraxia (can't ride a bike/finds swimming difficult).

 

The school have not noticed anything but I have kept them posted. I feel like I'm going a bit mad as they seem to see nothign wrong yet I have a 6 year old in tears in the morning if his underpants aren't 'right'. The GP says it is common for parents to notice these things first.

 

In the meantime, I find it dificult to know how to deal with issues as they arise. Sometimes, I feel I need to point out to the teacher that he has been particularly worked up/worried but I feel like they might think I'm just an old fuss pot pathologising her son's behaviour!

 

There might be nothing wrong and if there is, I'm not sure what it would be. He's very happy most of the time so these types of behaviour really stand out and seem more odd as he gets older.

 

I wanted to post here as someone mentioned AS/HFA and I wanted some more info. My son is affectionate and seems to be empathic and I wondered whether that would rule this out.

 

Thanks for listening!

Hi am Mum to 4 and half year old daughter diagnosed with Asperger's at 2 and a half. She doesn't tick all the boxes for the traits of Aspergers ie: very affectionate (not inappropriately), vivid imagination ( wakes up in Princess land most days!!!!), has lots of friends, doesn't have rituals etc.... However her problems are high anxiety and sensory issues relating to smells and noise. She has limited food choices,petrified of trying new food and hates change, tries to be very controlling. She is in mainstream and is doiong ok but having problems with noise.

Just to reassure you and make you aware that the professionals may dismiss asperger's but look into it further as not all children with aspergers are the same.

Remember that you know your child more than any of the experts! Good luck

 

[pompomx2]

Hi

 

I am new here and looking for advice/support.

 

My son is almost 6. I never noticed anything unusal about him until he satrted school last year. He was just my lovely, imaginative, kind boy - he still is!.

 

When he started school, he seemed to have problems with other children in the playground - or at least one specific child - who would hit and push. He is imaginative and there seemed to be alot of 'play fighting' going on without much guidance from adults. it was not something he ever did at home.

 

My son was as good as gold in class but there were a couple of incidents where he was reprimanded for retaliating and as time went on, I could see he found it difficult to deal with some of the other children who were quite aggressive.

 

The Head changed at the start of Sept and I went to speak to her about completely unrelated matters. She raised, in a rather abrupt and insensitive way, a few concerns she had about 'sensory' issues. She didn't call them this but I could see what she was getting at.

 

My son had been chewing books/pencils and she put this together with the fact that he had problems with playground play and toilet 'accidents' when he first started and seemed to be trying to suggest something was wrong.

 

We had decided to change schools in any event as the chaotic playground environment of this massive infants school was not right for my son. I pushed the head on the issues she raised and she backed off saying she didn't think there was anything to worry about.

 

These things stick in your head though!

 

Anyway, my son has been at his new school since October and he really likes it. However, since about Christmas, I have been getting increasingly worried about what I see is more pronounced, age-inappropriate behaviour. For example:

 

(i) he chews things - paper, cushions you name it

(ii) he has complete meltdowns about the slightest thing, like a toddler, screaming and kicking - he never did this as a toddler!!

(iii) he is very possessive about particular toys; he uses a toy gun as 'protection' when he goes into nervous situations and if you touch it (or if his younger brother touches it!) he goes crazy

(iv) the list of foods he will eat is decreasing - pasta/pizza - I never know what to do about packed lunches

(v) he is hypersensitive to the point of hysteria about smells - he will gag or be sick when this is particularly bad

(vi) he is hypersensitive to clothing and shoes - he had to wear boots and a plain t-shirt to school for the first three weeks of term

(vii) he seems to find change very difficult - being off for two days with the snow really through him and he was hysterical at the thought of going back to school today

(viii) he gets very anxious and agitated in certain situations e.g. picking up younger brother from nursery - he won't speak to people and gets quite aggressive - very unlike him

 

I spoke to my health visitor and she spoke to the GP. I then spoke to the GP who has referred him to a community paediatrician. She thought, given his imagination, concentration, empathy, it might be something along the lines of dyspraxia (can't ride a bike/finds swimming difficult).

 

The school have not noticed anything but I have kept them posted. I feel like I'm going a bit mad as they seem to see nothign wrong yet I have a 6 year old in tears in the morning if his underpants aren't 'right'. The GP says it is common for parents to notice these things first.

 

In the meantime, I find it dificult to know how to deal with issues as they arise. Sometimes, I feel I need to point out to the teacher that he has been particularly worked up/worried but I feel like they might think I'm just an old fuss pot pathologising her son's behaviour!

 

There might be nothing wrong and if there is, I'm not sure what it would be. He's very happy most of the time so these types of behaviour really stand out and seem more odd as he gets older.

 

I wanted to post here as someone mentioned AS/HFA and I wanted some more info. My son is affectionate and seems to be empathic and I wondered whether that would rule this out.

 

Thanks for listening!

Hi am Mum to 4 and half year old daughter diagnosed with Asperger's at 2 and a half. She doesn't tick all the boxes for the traits of Aspergers ie: very affectionate (not inappropriately), vivid imagination ( wakes up in Princess land most days!!!!), has lots of friends, doesn't have rituals, is very empathetic etc.... However her problems are high anxiety and sensory issues relating to smells and noise. She has limited food choices,petrified of trying new food and hates change, tries to be very controlling. She is in mainstream and is doiong ok but having problems with noise.

Just to reassure you and make you aware that the professionals may dismiss asperger's but look into it further as not all children with aspergers are the same.

Remember that you know your child more than any of the experts! Good luck

 

[MandyB]

Hi there,

 

You certainly seem keen to find some answers for your son and that's got to be a good start! My son was diagnosed ASD last year aged 4 and a lot of his stuff is more "typical" I guess - although like you I see lots of things that don't fit the remit also! He sounds like a sweetie which I'm sure makes you more determined to help him and get him the right support!

 

I would suggest a couple of books to help you in the first instance, firstly the well-renowned " The out-of-sync child" by Carol Kranowitz" - a great place to start as it's all about sensory disorders and not solely on the big autism question. Also have a look at the slightly-cuddly and American "Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm. It really helped us look at our child in a different way, in order to look at his needs and issues, rather than focusing on what WE were doing wrong!

 

Best of luck,

Mandy B

[babnye1]

Thanks for all your helpful posts.

 

I always thought of my son as calm and peaceful until he started school and recently things are just getting worse.

 

Today, he's been off ill but he had a massive screaming session when I turned the tv down as the phone rang and then started hitting me when I was on the phone. He just doesn't seem to be able to control his emotions. He never used to be like this. It seems to get more pronounced as he gets older.

 

Is that normal?

[**Mia]

Hello

[Karen A]

Hi babnye welcome to the Forum. Karen.

[Esty]

Thanks for all your helpful posts.

 

I always thought of my son as calm and peaceful until he started school and recently things are just getting worse.

 

Today, he's been off ill but he had a massive screaming session when I turned the tv down as the phone rang and then started hitting me when I was on the phone. He just doesn't seem to be able to control his emotions. He never used to be like this. It seems to get more pronounced as he gets older.

 

Is that normal?

 

Asperger's gets more obvious as kids get older, what starts out as 'highly strung' becomes tears everyday over stupid things and three hour meltdowns. I worked with kids with Asperger's and still didn't spot it in my own son because they are all different. I also though he had empathy but now realise it was always on an intellectual level, not emotional, unless as you say, it involves animals. R would come and tell me how awful it was that kids on the news were starving because of war and politics (seems like empathy) but wouldn't get off his bum to help them, wouldn't make him eat his own food knowing that other kids needed it, and the sight of me in tears on many mornings wouldn't make him change his behaviour. He won't do something for someone lese if he doesn't want to - doesn't feel that social responsibility eg will expect kids to play out with him when he wants to, but will hide or make excuses when they call for him. It can be very subtle! My son also has that food thing - they are so sensitive to flavours that everything is overpowering - R puts mayo on evrything to tone down the taste!

Hope you get answers soon.