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jools

how do I let go?

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Hi, i haven't posted for ages so hope you don't mind me popping my head back in!

 

G is now in y7, having started secondary school in Sept. so far so good!! support is in place and he has a very good senco, who i have a good relationship with too.

he has settled into his new school better than anyone could have imagined :clap:

he has made new friends and is on to his second girlfriend :wub: lol

 

he is now asking to go out more, which is great, and whilst i have tried to limit this to organised things such as the cinema so i know where he is, and that i will be picking him up he now wants to venture further.

 

his 'girlfriend' and some other new friends live in the next village. i would have to take him over and pick him up but i am resisting :(

i have all these reasons why he shouldn't go..............i don't know these kids, or their families, i don't know what they will get up to or where they will go. i have no reason to think they will do anything they shouldn't i just need to know G is safe!

on the other hand he really is happy. probably the happiest i have seen him. by not letting him go am i holding him back? his social skills can still leave a lot to be desired (or so i think) but he appears to be popular, a view backed up by the school.

 

please give me some advice and tell me your experiences before my head explodes B)

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I think if it were my child, I'd be as full of trepidation as you are! But, I also think you should let him go, as he wants to try it so badly.

However, I would lay down strict rules, ensure he's clear on what he can and cannot do and when he would be picked up again and suchlike. I would do this with any child, right enough.

Your lad, as I'm sure you know, will have to spread his wings fully at some point, and at least this way you can start off slowly and let him (and you! :) ) build up a bit of confidence about the whole affair.

Perhaps you could invite a group of his friends over to your house first of all? That way, you get to meet them and possibly their parents too as they dropoff and pickup their offspring. Let them go out and about in YOUR village for a while during the visit.

It may well be easier for your son, starting this way too, on his own territory.

I think you might even be happily surprised by the groups' acceptance of your son-it sounds like he feels he fits in, that hes made friends and hes evidently relishing the experience, from what you say.....

 

This must be a bit of a wrench for you, one that I'll admit to not having faced yet. My eldest has emotional issues and I really don't think hes at the stage your son is at. He's also been bullied on occasion by a group of local kids,and his confidence has been severely dented. I'm hoping things might change soon for him!!

 

Good luck with this, let us know how things go, hey?

 

Esther x

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well we are almost singing from the same hymn sheet!

 

today he has come home asking to go the next village on friday (teacher training day). however this isn't possible because i need to know exactly where he is (home with his sister!) while i'm at work, and on the afternoon when i get in i'm getting ready to go away for the weekend. his dad will be in early afternoon but we also have a younger one so it just isn't possible for him to do this on friday. plus, if i'm honest, i don't want him doing this while i'm not here!

 

the next thing was that everyone is going ice skating on saturday. ok i said so long as you are happy to go knowing you can't skate. (i am happy for him to go) then he says he can't cos he can't tie shoe laces and he doesn't feel happy asking a friend. so i have suggested his sister and her friend go along. she can sort his boots out for him then just be there if he needs her. they are both happy about this so he is getting his freedom even if it is restricted at this stage!!

 

he has also suggested to his friends going to the cinema on monday as it is 1/2 term. i will have 2 spaces in the car so have said if 2 friends want to come back here they can. then if they do go out and wander (which is still under debate!) it will be in streets he is used to.

 

thanks for listening to my rambling but this is the only place i think i can say this without people thinking i'm a paranoid mother.......i'm not.....honest.....lol

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