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Cariad

Beyond upset

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T has gone to France Mon-Fri with the school.. we haven't had a good time with the school and I was umming and wondering whether to let him go. We decided it would do him good and they said they could cope as they have done it all before etc and plenty of staff etc and he'll be safe etc etc..

 

Apart from the blow out on the motorway which they rang me up everything seemed "ok". They phoned me and T said the room "sucked" but then they said he could have a bunk to himself and a room etc and he seemed happy.. The today I had a phone call from the school about an incident, apparently a fellow pupil called T to his bed (he is 15 so two years older), he then asked T to touch him down below. Well I lost it!!! How can this happen when they have five boys and five members of staff there????? They know how vulnerable he is, this boy is EBD not ASD.

 

I phoned my DH and I was really upset by now as everything was being sweep under the carpet and saying "we'll have a meeting when he gets back", also "it hasn't affected him he seems fine".. DH called the police as he has been beaten up, shut in cupboards, spat on since he has been in this school and now THIS. Well the French police were involved and the Head had to go to the French police station and it's now being dealt with.. I have since been told that someone sat outside the dorm and their policy isn't to go in there even though T was under instructions to be supervised at all times. The 15 year old boy has been sent home and all is under investigation.

 

I haven't been able to eat or sleep since I'm so upset.. even the social workers think it's no big deal and are playing it down.

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If this was me I would be wanting to see the risk assessment for the holiday - it seems like a contra?iction to specify supervsision and then not to actaually go into the dorm?

Id also want to know if the boy involved has a history of this kind of behaviour - if he has and staff ignored it well.....

As a word of caution social workers dont in my experience like to rock the boat especially when special kids are involved. I would let the police persue this, take a look at your councils child protection/safeguarding procedures and see what they say shold happen with regards to special kids - it maybe worth complaining to them about this and the many other issues you mention ie bullying etc

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OMG you poor thing, when is he back? I cant imagine how you must be feeling, my lad is the same age,I would be furious, I!ve not seen you on the boards for a bit so thought things must be a bit better for you, keep us posted, I have no idea what your rights are, but someone will probably be along soon, much support and huge hugs >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> Enid

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Were the boys sharing rooms or did the other boy go into ur sons room?

Edited by something_different

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Hi

 

That's terrible. You must be worried sick. I don't know the history with the school, so I could be wrong, but my guess is that they're not trying to sweep things under the carpet, but simply try and get through the next few days as best they can. They're away from home and away from normality. The feeling is that it's probably best dealt with once they're home.

 

The other plus is that the school kept you informed. Of course, they had no choice, as your son may well have told you everything anyway. I also wonder, given the age of the other kid whether staff are playing things down because it's not unsual for kids to experiment/explore.

 

Clearly a boy that's two years older would likely have known what he was asking your son to do was wrong and staff should have ensured that more care was taken. The priority is obviously getting your son home and settled and then the school. I'd ask to see a full incident report covering the whole 5 days. It'll be hard, but try to resist the temptation to question your son - see if he opens up voluntarily/coax him gently. You're no doubt worried sick, but hopefully school staff will be on their guard and be much more watchful/careful - try and take comfort from that to get through the next day or two.

 

Take care and keep us posted.

 

Caroline.

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OMG thats terrible, I really really feel for you!

 

Again I would ask to have a copy of all reports from that incident and the rest of the week. I would ask for the risk assessment...

 

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Omg id have lost it totally!!!!! Dont blame you involving the police.....thats disgusting of the school sweeping it under the carpet. >:D<<'>

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Thanks everyone for your replies.. My son is home today as the other boy was removed and under police investigation..

 

My husband will get him tonight as I am a total mess over this and will cry or say something I will regret. I've been told it's going to be huge and I have a solicitor and legal advice, my son will be removed from this school and an early meeting to place him elsewhere is within days.

 

Isn't it funny how the LEA co operate when something this disgusting happens, when they totally ignored us before when T was black and blue and chewing up his clothes as he was seriously disturbed when in this school!

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god almighty :tearful:

i think you should see a lawyer,i would.

remember to stay very calm with your child.

and dont let how upset you are show.

he may want to play things down.

you should be led by him.

my littley who will be 12 in July is going to dalguise in Scotland.

its a adventure weekend he is suppose to be supervised.

im now wondering what kind of supervision he will get.

we have said from the beginning we weren't sure he would cope.

and we have been ignored.

if you were told your child would be under complete supervision

what on earth happened.its inexcusable,your poor baby.

we try to keep our kids as safe as we can

then we hand them to so called professionals

and they completely let him down.

im furious for you.

thinking about you and yours,love noogsyxxx

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I am sorry to read about this, its terrible and the school not properly supervising is so wrong, I am glad that he is going somewhere else and I hope he is ok when he gets home.

 

My son is going on a residential trip in may and, rather naievly, I never thought about stuff like that (worried more about him kicking off or endangering himself by doing impulsive things during activities etc), but now I will be asking questions about supervision etc.

 

the place my son will be staying is not so far away, within driving distance. Imagine with this all taking place in France it has made it seem even worse

>:D<<'>

D

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Hi Cariad -

 

Really, really sorry to hear about this :(

Very, very best to you and your faimily.

Not sure I've any practical advice to offer so will leave it there, except to say that if there are going to be any legal proceedings you might need to be cautious about what you say on forum. :unsure: If anyone can identify you/your son (and therefore the school/other children in the group) through the forum it could maybe prejudice any legal action(?)

No idea how those things 'work', but thought it might be something you need to consider.

 

L&P

 

BD

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What a terrible thing to happen - I think that the schools initial "we'll have a meeting and talk about it when we get back" was totally unacceptable - you did the right thing in calling the police.

 

I can't think what the staff were doing sitting outside the dorm! It is beyond belief! I have been very happy with the staffing when M (13/AS/ ADHD) has been on residentials as the staff always sleep in the dorm with the kids.

 

I really feel for you and your DH - so much stress and upheaval - but hopefully this will kick-start the LEA into finding a suitable autism placement for your child - he should never have been placed in this vulnerable position.

 

Want to send you all some >:D<<'> >:D< >:D<<'> - hope that your DS is OK when he gets home

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Hi Cariad -

 

Really, really sorry to hear about this :(

Very, very best to you and your faimily.

Not sure I've any practical advice to offer so will leave it there, except to say that if there are going to be any legal proceedings you might need to be cautious about what you say on forum. :unsure: If anyone can identify you/your son (and therefore the school/other children in the group) through the forum it could maybe prejudice any legal action(?)

No idea how those things 'work', but thought it might be something you need to consider.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Wise words baddad.. We will be starting legal proceedings as they seem to think they have done no wrong and are backtracking.. So I will leave it there for now.

 

Thank you for all of your kind words >:D<<'>

 

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Hi

 

Hope your son is okay when arrives home.

 

Meant to add in my previous post on this subject that the school have a duty of care to your son and the others. We're not talking about simply playful mischief and it appears to be a lot more serious than that. If you do decide to go down the legal route, the fact that the staff failed to protect your son from the actions of the other boy is a big deal and one which staff owe you some answers.

 

If I may give some advise - please ensure that you take a note of telephone calls (who said what and when). In addition, ensure that you put everything in writing, ie send the headteacher a letter asking for an incident report within 5 working days (give them a timescale). It's important if you do go down the legal route that information is recorded.

 

Take care and I hope you get some proper answers.

 

Caroline.

 

 

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After discussion with Cariad we've decided to close the thread for now as there's an ongoing investigation and the less said in public the better.

 

Thinking of you and your son, Cariad, and hoping for a satisfactory outcome to this.

 

K x

 

 

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