Wha's like us?

[pookie170]

I was sent this in an email and laughed hugely at it- hope you guys enjoy it too!

 

Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

 

Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

 

Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

Only in Scotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

 

Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

 

Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

 

Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

 

(Though I do believe most, if not all of the above could be applied to the UK as a whole! )

 

 

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

 

142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

 

58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

 

31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

 

19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

 

Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

 

18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

 

A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

 

5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

 

and finally...In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

 

If you're proud to be a Scot, send this on

(Indeed I am, and indeed I have. There's none sae daft, eh? )

[mbrown]

.Only in Scotland do two positives make a negative.

 

AYE...RIGHT!

 

[Kathryn]

Not a Scot but I'll pass it on to my Scottish father in law.

 

K x

[Z65]

See the part about the double cheeseburger and DIET coke? The reason I order DIET coke, is because it tastes better!! Although, I'll never eat a Kebab after that last one!! I was posh and used a plate to eat it off rather than just the wrapping it came in. I was half-way through it before I looked at my plate, and saw to my absolute HORROR, the MOUND of grease hardening on my plate!! Put me off, for life!!!!