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pearl

I have an awful problem .....

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.... I am cr*p at making mashed potato! Here I am, 93 years old & I still havent cracked it! Hit a new low tonight - both lumpy and watery, it just slithered off the serving spoon onto the plate :sick:

 

I used to get S to do them - perfick - but the selfish girl moved out ages ago, how could she? JP doesnt make a bad job, but he takes so long its cold by the time he's finished. As for Mr p - worse than me, I'm afraid.

 

Where am I going wrong, please? I boil them til cooked, drain them, add a knob of butter & a splash of milk, is that wrong? Or do I simply not have enough strength, being only 7st wet through?

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What I do is cook the potatoes, start mashing without the aid of butter or milk. Once the lumps are out I then add a little butter and milk a small bit at a time to make it smoother. After that I mix it very fast with a wooden spoon and it comes out really nice. :thumbs:

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Hmm......I wonder if you're using a variety that doesn't take well to being mashed?

However, I'd suggest ditching the milk and using only butter. My OH opts for adding a whole egg instead of milk, and it does help to bind the stuff together quite well. (To say nothing of the recipient's bowels!!)

 

(Joking!! ;) )

 

You may also be falling victim to overcooking the blighters, as its in a tatties' nature to absorb as much water as it can. I think (tentatively!) it aids in the production and storage of starch....but don't hold me to that one!

If all else fails, open a packet of Smash and cheat, Pearlie girl!!

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Boil em mash em stick em in a stew or ....

 

 

pssst pearl :unsure:

 

 

 

 

just between you and me

 

 

 

Fluffy potatoes are no measure of womanhood. Once I felt as you did, sister. I too tried and failed to live up to the standards of mashed potato perfection, as embodied in my mother in law. After years of the grey, lumpy despair of knowing that my mash was fit only to plug the cracks in my wall, I saw the light. I embraced the truth, staring at me. Right there in the aisle of M&S. Ready made mash. I was finally emancipated from the tyranny of the spud. My mash now requires no greater expertise than peeling back the film of a plastic container. HALLELUJAH!!! :thumbs:

 

I urge you, sister, to throw away that potato mashing thing, go on, you can do it! Do it sister!! You can be free from the mash that binds you. Get thee to the ready meal aisle of your supermarket and there repent. Repent and be saved!!!

 

 

 

I might just find time to stuff a mushroom, but life's definitely too short to mash a spud. :P:whistle:

 

K x

 

 

 

 

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Oh. You mean I found the AA number for nothing? :devil:

 

Try only adding small amounts of milk and/or butter - if there's not enough then you can add more. That's a damn sight easier than trying to take them out afterwards :whistle:

 

What the hell would I know though - I'm far too lazy to bother with mash :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or stick grated mozarella in...then you won't care :thumbs:

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Thankyou all :notworthy: its good, so good, to know I am not alone in this failure. I especially appreciate your honesty, Kathryn - that must have been painful to share, especially when you just know that baddad will be along shortly to throw up his hands in horror :lol:

 

I was sobbing down the phone talking to S about it last night, & she said the same as some of you on here - mash first, add butter & milk afterwards. So I'll try that next time :thumbs:

 

Watch this space for more potato-based adventures.

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Mashed potatoes are for these occasions when you have overcooked the spuds and they have all gone to mush.

 

What you do is drain off as much of the water as you can then put them back on the heat to dry them out, got to keep an eye on them so as not to burn, when they have dried out enough just add butter (spread as we never have butter in our house) and mash away, a little salt and pepper.(Don't normally add salt when cooking) Never milk. My mother always put an egg in her mash but my wife don't like that.

 

 

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Oddly, whenever you see a top chef serving mash on telly it always looks like a load of over-pureed slop. It's either that or they use a 'ricer' and it looks lke lumpy half raw rosti, or they bung in a load of sauteed onions or leeks and call it champs. 'S'true - watch closely the next time you see GR or Ester Bloominratzenballs doing it.

Talking of which, did you see the idiots 'medieval feast' the other night? I missed the starter, but he served a fish course of fried lamprey in a 'ju' of it's own blood, topped with it's deep fried spinal column...

Main course was a pigeon pie

Dessert was white chocolate candles filled with caramel, and chocolate cutlery.

 

so that was grilled eel (don't worry about the 'ju' - none of them ate it)

Pigeon pie (the 'magic touch' being that he put in the bits any pie factory would be closed down for using - ie the feet and gizzards)

Chocolate (effectively a white chocolate cadbury's caramel)

 

Now is it just me, but do the words 'emperor' 'clothes' and 'new' occur to anyone else?

 

Lamprey blood ju? i'm surprised they didn't all come down with food poisoning! :whistle:

 

L&P

 

BD (whose mash, predictably, is practically perfect in every way ;))

 

:D

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Talking of which, did you see the idiots 'medieval feast' the other night? I missed the starter, but he served a fish course of fried lamprey in a 'ju' of it's own blood, topped with it's deep fried spinal column...

Main course was a pigeon pie

Dessert was white chocolate candles filled with caramel, and chocolate cutlery.

 

But if it was a medieval feast there shouldn't have been chocolate, surely??

 

Tsk tsk!

 

Never mind my mash, I'm practically perfect in every way! My tape measure says so! :P (Who is this M. Poppins anyway?? ;) )

 

Boho :dance:

Edited by bid

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Ahh Mash.. My youngests favourite thing on the planet I think... I do it completely wrong, but she loves it and no one else complains either!

 

boil till cooked, Drain, add butter and mash. no milk.

 

Milk is vile stuff and not something I advocate in my house full of intolerances/allergies! ;)

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It could be worse. My mums best friend used to make mash that was somehow lumpy, runny and burnt all at the same time.. Then again everything she cooked was burnt. :whistle: Charcoal anyone? :lol:

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Then again everything she cooked was burnt. :whistle: Charcoal anyone? :lol:

Oi, that's no way to talk about my mum. It's not her fault she's 'culinarily challenged' :devil:

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Mashed potato is possibly my favourite savoury food (with bangers - yum yum yum :eat:) and onion gravy on the side and some whole grain mustard *drools*. And Banoffee pie for pudding :eat1:

 

I was watching Saturday kitchen (on Saturday, surprisingly :huh:) and the chef people on there made a complete mess of the mashed potato they made - firstly they used some strange implement to mush rather than mash the potatoes, then they added the same quantity of butter as potato (I like it buttery, but there's a limit :sick:) and double cream). It was so runny when they finished, they poured it onto the plate - that is not how mash should be.

 

Make sure you use potatoes that say on the bag that they are suitable for mash - Maris Piper and King Edwards I think are good - only cook them until they fall apart when you jab at them with a fork, otherwise they get to a stage of sucking up the water (and they'll suck up liquid you add too rather than being coated). Drain them really well, then I put the pan back over the heat and stir them vigorously (doesn't matter if they break, you're making mash) to make sure they are totally dry - just make sure you keep them moving so they don't burn - all that steam that comes off is water that would otherwise be in your mash. Then take off the heat, add a tiny splash of milk just to make mashing easier, and then mash until all the lumps have gone and your arms hurt - the stove is not the best place to do this as it's too high up to put the pressure into it that's needed. Once mashed, add loads of butter, more milk for desired consistency, loads of freshly ground pepper, a little ground salt, a tiny dab of mustard and beat with a wooden spoon back over the heat - perfect mash. :eat: :eat:

 

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i had massive problems with lumpy mash my saviour ROOSTER potatoes ok dearer than normal spuds but they are definetly the best thing for mash :notworthy:

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i had massive problems with lumpy mash my saviour ROOSTER potatoes ok dearer than normal spuds but they are definetly the best thing for mash :notworthy:

 

Mashed Rooster? Presumably you serve that with Coq Au Vin?

 

:D

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Perfect mashed spuds - everytime......

 

Use only Pontiac or Desiree /potatoes with red or pink skin. Four medium potatoes. or one per person.

 

Peel cut in half only

Enough water to cover spuds

Cook on high for 10 minutes, turn to high medium at lid always secure.

When you can push a fork in without restriction, remove from heat and drain.

Keep the lid on, remove to stove (turned off) where it is warm.

Add 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

Three tablespoons of Olive Oil margarine

1/4 cup of whole milk.

Add all of the above quickly and mash all at once, once mashed, stir with masher to whip it fluffy, if too dry add just a dash more milk and marg.

 

A nice variation is a clove of crushed garlic.

 

We have a pro in this household. :robbie::thumbs:

 

Secret is not overboiling, and don't at salt until mash time.

Skim milk gives you slush.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Coat, shoes, short walk, Marks and Spencers.........perfect microwavable mash.

That's not fair!...That's Marks and Spencer's not fair :lol:

 

 

Note: Other retailers are available :whistle:

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If all else fails, open a packet of Smash and cheat, Pearlie girl!!

:sick: They used Smash as the roof for our shepherds pie tonight - it has completely the wrong texture and was disgusting :(

 

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i bake them instead of boiling then take the potato out of the skin and mash with butter......takes longer but could start them in micro......

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i agree about not adding wet stuff (ie butter milk cream) to the potatoes until thoroughly dry mashed. then add xtras and beat with wooden spoon. best potatoes i agree are red skinned. desiree or rooster are great :thumbs:

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:sick: They used Smash as the roof for our shepherds pie tonight - it has completely the wrong texture and was disgusting :(

 

 

I luuuuuuuuvvvv smash! The sheer fakeness of it is just what appeals to me. (I know, how weird am I? I especially like it if I happen across a little bit that hasn't got wet, as I savour my bowlful!)

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Right, this is my method and I get rave reviews.

 

1) Get big potatoes that are recommended to use for mashing.

 

2) Peel the potatoes.

 

3) Throw away (recycle) the peelings and clean the dirty water out of the bowl.

 

4) Cut the potatoes into small segments (about 1/2 - 1 inch (1-2 centimetres thick) and put them in the bowl.

 

5) Cover and wash in hot water (as hot as you can stand).

 

6) Take potatoes out.

 

7) Wash bowl out with cold water.

 

8) Put potatoes in again and rinse with cold water.

 

9) Take potatoes out of cold water and put into a broad-bottomed saucepan. Try not to squeeze them into a smaller saucepan.

 

10) cover in cold water, add salt and boil.

 

11) When the potatoes are soft enough that they start gently disintegrating slighty take off the boil.

 

12) Drain the water away.

 

13) Put back on the hob to dry the potatoes/any excess water. Shake them about to avoid burning them.

 

14) Put the saucepan on the worktop - then take masher number 1) (I use 2 mashers - this one just has vertical lines down it so not much get mashed - and mash the potatoes.

 

15) When the potatoes have been mashed some - add butter - anything from 2 to 6 or 7 knobs depending how much you are making.

 

16) Mash the butter into the potatoes firmly.

 

17) Take a fork and mash down in patterns - left to right, right to left, front to back, back to front etc... remembering to fold in the edges of the mash to make sure it gets properly "fork-mashed"

 

18) Take masher number 2) this being a more traditional cross-section "portcullis" type masher - and thoroughly mash up the potato again.

 

19) Take a large kitchen spoon and thoroughly whisk the mash round.

 

20) Serve.

 

 

It sounds complicated particularly all the washing and drying and things - but that is I'm afraid crucial - you need to make sure you avoid any excess starch - especially the gooey mess that you get if bits of potatoe disintegrate into the water.

 

And you don't have to use two separate mashers. Using one is fine. But the fork and then the spoon is essential.

 

In summary:

 

1) Wash the potatoes thoroughly beforehand and dry before mashing.

 

2) Mash once before adding butter then mash again.

 

3) After mashing finish off by fine tuning the mashing with a fork then beating/whisking with a spoon.

 

 

Damn you've made me want mashed potato now - and I already had some last night! lol.

 

:)

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I know ya all gonna hate me, but I just boil any old spuds, mash 'em, add a bit o'marge/butter and maybe a splash o'milk and they're always luverly!! :lol:

 

Boho :dance:

 

Imposter: love your siggy :)

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You're gonna hate me even more than you hate her when I let you into my secret...

 

I actually don't like mash. :sick::crying: I only make it to please other people. :rolleyes:

 

Sorry but it's baby food, makes me gag and the only way I can tolerate it is if it has crunchy bits of veg in it (like M&S do) or if it's on top of something I can actually chew, like fish pie.

 

If God had wanted us to eat mash we would have been born with no teeth. :whistle::whistle:

 

Sorry, and I hope I haven't caused offence to all you expert mash makers out there. If it makes you happy and fulfilled and brings pleasure to others, go on crushin' them spuds. :)

 

JUST DON'T HAVE ME ROUND FOR DINNER!!

 

K x

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If God had wanted us to eat mash we would have been born with no teeth.

K x

 

Yeah - and if god had wanted us to eat biltong he wouldn't have given us tastebuds :)

The actual reason god invented mash was for gravy wells (AKA Bisto swamps AKA Dunker's tarpit), and anyone who doesn't like gravy wells WILL BURN IN THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL (or so it is written in the gospel according to Jamie)...

 

My favourite mash is the mash in beano comics - mountainlike and served on a silver platter with sossidges sticking out at odd angles. Is your sossidge sticking out at an odd angle or......

 

:D

Edited by baddad

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My boys will only eat mash if I make it into a volcano and put ketchup in it for lava. They are strange boys, I cannot understand how anyone cannot like mash potatoes, I would eat it every day, if I could be bothered to make it!

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Yeah - and if god had wanted us to eat biltong he wouldn't have given us tastebuds :)

 

I can quite understand how anyone who thrives on oozy claggy mash wouldn't be able to cope with serious adult food like biltong. :whistle::whistle:

 

My boys will only eat mash if I make it into a volcano and put ketchup in it for lava. They are strange boys, I cannot understand how anyone cannot like mash potatoes, I would eat it every day, if I could be bothered to make it!

 

Now that's completely gross. If there's one thing I dislike more than mash it's ketchup. Eeurgh! :sick::rolleyes:

 

K x

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So if you have a sossidge samwidge do you have HP? I can't remember what it meant, but someone somewhere sometime did a susperiment to identify personality type from whether people went for tomato/brown sauce in their sossidge samwidge.

The only thing i can really remember is that people who ate Biltong, didn't like tomato ketchup or mashed potato were probably short and a bit doolally. Probably :)

 

L&P

 

BD :D

 

Oh - PS... we had mash tonight :) Supermarket had an offer on duck breasts, so we had them pan fried with port and prunes :eat:

the mash was half spud half sweet potato, and then I sauted some leek and onion and mixed it through for 'champs'... carrot batons, stringless beans and a large chestmut mushroom on the side. Jamie Oliver, who he?? :eat:

Sometimes i'm so perfect i even annoy me! :clap::whistle:

Edited by baddad

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Brown sauce here, BD! :D

 

Means you're intelligent, fascinating, witty, clinically well-dressed...

 

Boho :whistle:

Edited by bid

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I have spent the past few days trying to persuade my uncle's French girlfriend that brown sauce, salt and vinegar crisps and Marmite are nice, but I didn't succeed. Apparently the French dip their chips in mustard!

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