Nearing DX

[Marikyn]

Hi there

 

i have been a member of this forum for a while now but i have kind of avoided it incase i was told i didnt have aspergers

 

i am 34 years old and i have been suffering from depression and anxiety for as far back as i can remember but i didnt get treated for depression till i was 23 and tried living on my own, ten years of being on and off anti-depressants and seeing counsellors and i finally got to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, the psychiatrist took me of my anti-depressants and said she thought it was more of a psychological problem so i have now been seeing my psychologist since last june

 

at first i thougth i had aadd as many of those symptoms matched mine but not enough i think and the psychologist didnt seem to take that suggestion very seriously. i then started to notice she was asking me specific questions and looked this up on the internet and came across aspergers. i decided to keep it to myself for a while as the psychologist told me she didnt want to tell me what she thought yet incase it affected my answers to my questions, but 2 weeks later i came clean and she said she did indeed suspect aspergers. she did the initial assessments with me and i was borderline. she got hold of the specialist for our area to discuss whether she should take this further and the specialist said yes, she should and that she really felt for me, that i must have been suffering for such a long time. so now my psychologist just has to check out my medical records to see if there is anything that would rule this out and she is going to talk to my mum about my childhood. when i told my mum she said i was just normal, and i know i was never at the doctors when i was younger other than for measles etc so i'm stressing a bit about falling at the last hurdle, although the psychologist seemed quite sure of a diagnosis.

 

my head is a bit all over the place now and i have no idea how i will feel when/if i get the dx, tho i think i'll break down with the relief lol - finally i'll be getting treated for the right problem!

 

have any of you had similair experiences? sorry for rambling on so much!

 

thanks for listening

 

Mari-Claire

x

[cmuir]

Hi

 

That's good that progress is being made and I understand your concerns about falling at the last hurdle.

 

I'm not saying this necessarily applies to your mum, but ust a thought ... Iit isn't unusual for people to bury their heads in the sand and convince themselves that everything is normal. In addition, if, for example, a child who is suspected as being on the spectrum, is an only child and/or parents lead quite a sheltered life, the parents may not notice that anything wrong because they don't have any other children to compare with.

 

My husband is suspected as being on the spectrum. I daren't even ask his parents what he was like as a child, etc, because their heads are well and truly in the sand! My son has AS and they constantly make excuses for him - 'Oh, he just needs X, Y, X' kind of thing.

 

It's a case of hoping that the professionals may see past whatever a relation may say in view of the aforementioned, particularly if they have grounds to suspect an ASD. Do you have any close friends, etc that you could turn to for support, or ask to attend an appointment?

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[NickyB]

Hello Mari-Claire and welcome

 

I'm glad you're getting close to some answers. You'll probably go through a huge range of different emotions when/if your dx comes - give yourself time to take it in and look after yourself.

 

Take care

 

Nicky <'>

[smiley1590]

heya i have similiar experience to you i have depression and anxiety depression was noticed in me first like you i was put on anti depressants but counsellor always felt there was 'something more' i was assessed and diagnosed as having aspergers syndrome so can really relate and understand your story i see pyschtrists and have seen pyschlogists had several different meds and therapy! i have other Mental Health problems too though! hope you get the answers you searching for mssing part of you good luck in this i know how hard and tough life can be with all of this going on in your head and life to fight back and prove people wrong! but i wish you new founded happiness for the future! if you need to chat further i am here! take care XKLX

[Marikyn]

thanks for the responses guys

 

i was never close to my mum and we never had much of a relationship, i'm not an only child but i am the oldest and my lil brother didnt come along till i was 5, so i guess i was an only child till then anyway! and she pretty much had her hands full with us fighting like cat and dog all the time lol

 

the impression i got from the psychologist was that she wasnt too worried about my mum saying i was normal, she just wants to make sure there were no other developmental issues i had that would rule aspergers out. i still worry tho, but thats just me, i always find something to worry about lol

 

one plus of this condition is that i am a not bad photographer - i see patterns and art in things others dont see. i put that to use last year and started a college course in photography that i seem to be doing good in. the only times i struggle is when there are lots of distractions around - people talking or typing hard on the keyboards (that drives me nuts lol) i feel like i pick up on every little noise around.

 

thanks again and i will keep you updated on my dx

 

x

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

Your mother may think you were normal, but when she is asked specific questions, her answers may well reveal things which point to Asperger's. If you have any other relatives who may remember your childhood, they may also have relevant evidence.

 

I was diagnosed with Asperger's 2 years ago, though I suspected for a couple of years prior to that. My mother never really noticed anything different about me when I was a child other than that I was exceptionally shy. I was her first child, and she assumed the differences between me and my younger brother were down to us simply having very different personalities. She found him very demanding of her time, but when she discussed this 'problem' with friends, they all felt he was normal, and she began to realise it was me who was distant. When I told her I thought I had Asperger's, she read up on it and found that a lot of things added up. In the end, her evidence was useful in getting my diagnosis.

 

Undiagnosed Asperger's often seems to lead to psychological problems, especially anxiety and depression. When you grow up feeling different to other people, and finding relationships difficult, it is understandable that you would end up feeling negative toward yourself. Getting a diagnosis and learning about Asperger's has helped me a great deal in overcoming my own depression.

 

It sounds like you have a fantastic psychologist on your side. Even without an official diagnosis, the understanding that you have certain traits can help her gear your treatment toward your needs.

[smiley1590]

good luck hun keep fightin back babe and you'll get there! your strong! don't let any of this beat you down! you worth so much more than that! look deeper searching and you find something! your determined which good thing to have at assessment and diagnosis time! make sure yuou have plenty of MH support on your side like your pyschologist! have you always felt 'different' not like others your age like you don't belong or fit in anywhere?! common AS feeling! depression and anxiety also common MH probs in AS! when having late diagnosis and lack of knowledgement help and support along the way! all matters it happening now!hope you find you in this road you going down!take one day at a time don;'t rush into anything! take little steps!

[smiley1590]

senstive hearing is one AS traits and is also not coping with littlest sounds and noise distraction too so you not alone in that!i have that too find it annnoying every time it happens!ahhh!XXX

[Marikyn]

have you always felt 'different' not like others your age like you don't belong or fit in anywhere?!

 

funny you should say that, when i was younger all my friends were a year or two younger than me and from when i started dating i always dated guys younger than me, in fact when i was 28 i had a serious relationship with a 18-year-old. my current partner (been with him 2 and a half years) is 2 years younger than me and god bless him for puting up with me! its been very hard tho, but he seems to be realising that i'm not normal and never will be but is reacting in a positive way and makes a tremendous amount of allowances for me. in a way i think maybe i take advantage of him sometimes tho.

 

you guys are all great thanks for the support! its great to be able to talk to and read about people with experiences similair to mine - and many a lot worse

 

i noticed that a lot of members have kids with aspergers/adhd etc - its it very common to pass this on to your children? i made a decision some time ago not to have kids as i felt i couldnt look after myself never mind kids too! i had even considered sterilisation as i hate the thought of contraceptive pills/injections messing up my hormones. i'm on the depo injection atm actually - only 4 months in and i've put on a stone and a half! (on top of the 2 stone i already piled on with the depression - compulsive eating)

 

[Karen A]

Hi Marikyn Welcome to posting on the Forum. Karen.

[Karen A]

funny you should say that, when i was younger all my friends were a year or two younger than me and from when i started dating i always dated guys younger than me, in fact when i was 28 i had a serious relationship with a 18-year-old. my current partner (been with him 2 and a half years) is 2 years younger than me and god bless him for puting up with me! its been very hard tho, but he seems to be realising that i'm not normal and never will be but is reacting in a positive way and makes a tremendous amount of allowances for me. in a way i think maybe i take advantage of him sometimes tho.

 

you guys are all great thanks for the support! its great to be able to talk to and read about people with experiences similair to mine - and many a lot worse

 

i noticed that a lot of members have kids with aspergers/adhd etc - its it very common to pass this on to your children? i made a decision some time ago not to have kids as i felt i couldnt look after myself never mind kids too! i had even considered sterilisation as i hate the thought of contraceptive pills/injections messing up my hormones. i'm on the depo injection atm actually - only 4 months in and i've put on a stone and a half! (on top of the 2 stone i already piled on with the depression - compulsive eating)

 

Hi.Most of the Forum members used to be parents of children with ASD however it is great that now there are lots of adults joining who think they may have AS or have a diagnosis.However that is probably why a lot of members have kids with AS.Not all of the adults who are parents have AS.

One thing that appears to happen fairly often is that a child obtains an AS dx.As parents read more they realise that a parent or other relative is very like the child and so they then wonder if that person also has AS.There are a few adults who have obtained a diagnosis in this way.

I am similar in some ways to Ben our son who was dx AS a few months ago.My OH has wondered if I might have AS.However I have a very complicated history and none of the people who would provide information [parents etc ] are alive now.I don't think anyone will be able to figure me out.I am happy to use the information learned for strategies that help.My OH has been putting up with me for 21 years.

Sterilisation is a very personal decision.I think it might be woth bearing in mind though that the process of obtaining a dx is a very confusing time of mixed feelings.

In a year or two you might feel different about having children.With the depo injection at least you could stop having it if you decide you would like children.Sterilisation is really considered not to be an option if there is a possibility that you might want children in the future.Karen.

 

 

[Tally]

I would really not recommend you go for sterilisation, even if you feel quite certain that you will never want children. I think you will struggle to find someone willing to do it. What if you ended up with a partner who really wanted children and was also willing to be their main carer? You might change your mind. Maybe the injections are not for you if they are causing you to put on weight. Your GP might have some better suggestions.

[smiley1590]

i binge eat and my weight is high for my age most i think like you down to my depression and other MH probs! so know how you feel!

[Mum of 3]

i noticed that a lot of members have kids with aspergers/adhd etc - its it very common to pass this on to your children? i made a decision some time ago not to have kids as i felt i couldnt look after myself never mind kids too! i had even considered sterilisation as i hate the thought of contraceptive pills/injections messing up my hormones. i'm on the depo injection atm actually - only 4 months in and i've put on a stone and a half! (on top of the 2 stone i already piled on with the depression - compulsive eating)

 

Hi Marikyn, welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll find alot of support here. I'm one of the Mums with a child who has ASD traits. We're waiting for a date for our assessment. Like a lot of others, I've done loads of reading and research, and my DH and I both feel that he has a lot of AS characteristics. However, like KarenA, sadly neither of his parents are alive, so we can't find out about his childhood. All we know is that his family all thought he was 'strange' as a child, as he never liked playing with the other children, and always had his head in a book!

As for not having children, my DH does struggle sometimes with the organisational aspects of having children, and this can cause problems as I like to have everything very well organised( ), but he wouldn't be without them at all. Although he isn't very demonstrative, he loves them to bits, and gets great joy from them. Please give yourself time on this one, as it would be dreadful to do something irreversible that you regret later <'>

[dana]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

 

danaxxx

[Marikyn]

thanks for the advice, you're all right of course - sterilisation is such a big step. even if i dont plan on having kids, and my partner doesnt want them either as he already has a son from his last marriage, at least i'll have the option there if either or both of us change our minds. i'm going to give depo a real go, other than the weight gain, which may have occurred anyway, i've not had much problems with it so it might be the solution.

[Marikyn]

a wee update on things....

 

my mum has had her interview with the psychologist and my dad had his last week. the psychologist said she may bring someone in to do more tests on me, then all the results will be collated and sent off to the autism specialist to advise on diagnosis. its so frustrating, whenever i think i'm getting close to an answer another stage gets added on! i have an appointment with her myself this week so i'll find out more

 

i'm struggling a bit with my treatment at the moment, she's working with me on being assertive and she's trying to get me to do role-playing scenarios with her and it just makes me feel so uncomfortable, i broke down in tears last time and all it was was her pretending to be a charity door-to-door caller and i had to tell her i wasnt interested lol

[something_different]

great that things are progressing though! Hopefully its not too long before you get a final dx.

 

I would hate role play too!

 

(i don't have a dx of as or anything I'm just a weirdo who lurks here)

[Marikyn]

Update!

 

i got an assessment on wednesday - cant remember what it was called - a cognitive thingy

 

i did brilliantly on the tests where i had to point out what was missing from an image, and the word descriptions, the shapes and symbols tests but i did awfully at the numbers stuff. i see my psychologist again this wednesday so hopefully i'll have some feedback by then