GCSEs approaching

[BuntyB]

I am looking for some advice with my 16 year old.

 

We offered to take him out of school to a very small private school with the girls but he declined. After enduring 3 years of secondary school he decided he would stay the distance.

 

His teachers have high expectations, predicting A and B grades in everything and he's been under considerable pressure to complete course work to this standard, although he doesn't understand the instructions for a lot of it.

 

We have explained to the staff who have offered after school sessions which has added its own pressures (you're supposed to finish school at 3pm and get on the school bus, not 5pm and master public transport!) On top of this, he has found himself with the attentions of a girl, which he really can't handle, and a couple of bullies phoning and texting him, calling him a freak and that's just the repeatable bit.

 

The poor lad can't take much more. We have tried talking to school, but the head of year doesn't even know who he is! and informed the police about the obscene texts. Over the Easter hols he has been suicidal. I've tried explaining that although education is important we have to take care of these thoughts. I'm going to ask for a referral back to CAMHS but from a practical point of view, can we manage by keeping him home to revise and just go in for exams? With only a few weeks to go, it wouldn't be practical to move schools.

 

Any suggestions/ ideas would be helpful.

[bid]

Will he not be on study leave after Easter anyway?

 

Bid

[BuntyB]

Will he not be on study leave after Easter anyway?

 

Bid

 

No, not at this school. They have to go in.

[Kazzen161]

His teachers have high expectations, predicting A and B grades in everything and he's been under considerable pressure to complete course work to this standard, although he doesn't understand the instructions for a lot of it.

 

Totally relate to this!

 

Will your GP sign him off as sick for the last few weeks? - then the school can't say anything.

 

[szxmum]

I totally relate to what you are going through Shona - it was at this point last year that our family life went into meltdown and on a more positive the note, the point where we finally found out about and started on our journey with AS.

 

Our ds was an un-dx AS struggling alone in mainstream, the school were turning up the pressure big-style on gcses and coursework, bullying and exclusion was going on by classmates - the result, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, obsessions and compulsions went into overdrive. The worst part for me was finding out that ds was viewing suicide websites - I have never felt and hope never, ever to feel that way again.

 

We pulled ds out of school straight away - our Gp wrote a note stating that he was treating ds for mental illness - not ideal but it served it's purpose. Ds never went back into mainstream lessons again.

 

From that point, ds did no further coursework or gcse revision - I figured exams could be taken at any point, his psychological well-being was what was important.

 

Our saving point was the Nurture support teacher at school - he was totally behind us and in agreement with our actions. From this point on, being removed from all the stress, ds improved. He occasionally went into the Nurture group, supposedly to help the teacher with troubled younger children. He improved to such an extent that the Nurture teacher suggested entering ds for the exams - he would arrange for ds to take the exams in the Nurture classroom on his own with one other staff member present. I was a bit dubious as he has missed the last 8 weeks of school and all the revision sessions. Anyway, spoke to ds and he said he'd give it a go.

 

Well the outcome was 6Bs and 4Cs

 

So - yes, it can be done.

 

You could check with the school's examination officer for dates, times, venues of exams that he is entered in; ask Gp for sick note and set up a revision timetable with your son.

 

Good luck to you both xx

Edited April 18, 2009 by szxmum

[julie1]

I totally relate to what you are going through Shona - it was at this point last year that our family life went into meltdown and on a more positive the note, the point where we finally found out about and started on our journey with AS.

 

Our ds was an un-dx AS struggling alone in mainstream, the school were turning up the pressure big-style on gcses and coursework, bullying and exclusion was going on by classmates - the result, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, obsessions and compulsions went into overdrive. The worst part for me was finding out that ds was viewing suicide websites - I have never felt and hope never, ever to feel that way again.

 

We pulled ds out of school straight away - our Gp wrote a note stating that he was treating ds for mental illness - not ideal but it served it's purpose. Ds never went back into mainstream lessons again.

 

From that point, ds did no further coursework or gcse revision - I figured exams could be taken at any point, his psychological well-being was what was important.

 

Our saving point was the Nurture support teacher at school - he was totally behind us and in agreement with our actions. From this point on, being removed from all the stress, ds improved. He occasionally went into the Nurture group, supposedly to help the teacher with troubled younger children. He improved to such an extent that the Nurture teacher suggested entering ds for the exams - he would arrange for ds to take the exams in the Nurture classroom on his own with one other staff member present. I was a bit dubious as he has missed the last 8 weeks of school and all the revision sessions. Anyway, spoke to ds and he said he'd give it a go.

 

Well the outcome was 6Bs and 4Cs

 

So - yes, it can be done.

 

You could check with the school's examination officer for dates, times, venues of exams that he is entered in; ask Gp for sick note and set up a revision timetable with your son.

 

Good luck to you both xx

 

[NobbyNobbs]

i didn't attend school before my GCSEs for similar reasons.

 

i stayed home most of the time, and then spent some time in the library rather than in class, just doing my own thing.

 

i dont know what the officiall procedure is, i know the school didnt seem to notice i wasn't there. i sat all my exams in a room either in a small group or on my own. this also helped with the stress because the atmosphere of anxiety before hundreds of kids go in for an exam is not nice.

 

i have to admit to not reallly doing any work during the time i was absent from school. i wasn't set work by school unless i specifically went and asked for something. i didn't revise, the last thing i wanted to do was look at school books. i still got good enough grades

 

stick to what you think is right. at this point in his education, theres not a lot the school can do about anything!

 

oh, i remembered. i also didn't do my english oral or drama practical exams, but still got grades for them. because i had a medical note stating i was not able to complete these for a reason, they just gave me my predicted grade in both subjects, using previous work as proof that i could achieve that grade. (i actually got a better grade for drama than i would have, because of this!)

Edited April 18, 2009 by NobbyNobbs

[smiley1590]

i have AS and personally going through my GCSE's little did i know at time what i was goin through and feeling was good old anxiety and panic attacks too and depression it can put anyone under pressure but even more so for someone who has an kind of an AS!

 

i got to revise up in inclusion area was taken out of lessons cause i just couldn't face going it was too much felt pressured to 'suceed' and my fear was so to fail and to prove everyone that told me i was no good right in my past lead to believe that through my low self-esteem/confidence reassure your son like your doing and good luck with everything else hopes your son does well which i'm sure he will just the anx and depression MH side of things goes 'off the scale' for bit it will come back! just gota keep on trying to raiase his self-esteem/confidence as this low maybe not whats helping too! try work out a plan with the school that is 'right' and comfortable so your sondoes feel 'under the spotlight' pressured to work hard all time to get good grades! you need understanding teachers that listen and respect your sobn and want you son to progress but see his anx getting in the way! mayber meds will help calm him down ask bout that too! talk through with CAMHS as this major deal in through his ASD eyes! and world and will rock it not in good healthy way through make sure son sleeps and eat well before and after exams so mind kept healthy at all costs!

 

hope this helps you! good luck

take care

XKLX

[smiley1590]

i went in a room on my own as my anxiety got so bad when sitting exams why dont suggest that as part of plan get system in place that works for your son maybe have a meeting all together CAMHS,school and you to discuss how you can help your son further in this stage of his education? and talk about objectives and targets each person and service has to offer and work to goals set bring it altogether dsicuss worries and fears you have towards this situation? voice your opinions as you know your son better than anyone else there!