Finally made some decisions about school and medication

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My son is 7 and has been struggling for too long. I've finally made some big decisions, but am waiting to see if anything comes of it.

 

First thing is medication. CAMHS have acknowledged that kiddo is suffering from severe anxiety and are willing to try medication. I've put the brakes on that because at a recent school review meeting, everyone said everything was fine. It's not fine, far from it! I was forced to ask leading questions in order to get truthful answers, but I'm disgusted that no one was forthright and spoke up for what's genuinely best for my son, instead of politics. It was the school (HT and LA) that first mentioned medication. Although I want medication for my son only if that's what's best for him (not because it's easier for everyone else!), I'm worried that medication will mask the symptoms of not coping in his mainstream school. It seems cruel, but I feel I have no choice but to keep R off medication until those individuals admit that he's not coping - things around bound to get a whole lot worse with a new teacher, new school year, new classroom, new academic and social demands, etc on the horizon.

 

I've been agonising over things for a long time and I feel that R would be best suited at a special school specifically for AS kids. I think he'd be a whole lot happier, would achieve nearer his potential, fit in much better, be more manageable, etc. CAMHS have carried out an emotional assessment and said that he's expressed that he knows he's different and is very sad about that, he's also a very anxious boy. That made me cry having it confirmed that he's aware of this and is suffering. I've taken the bull by the horns and submitted a placing request. All I have to do is sit back and wait 60 days apparently for a decision. I'm at day one and feel sick. I've also been busy firing off letters, left, right and centre, asking for reports to support this application from CAMHS, consultant, Visiting Teacher Services, etc. Our EP doesn't recommend the move, so I've gone over her head - I'm so disgusted and annoyed that she's failed my son and has even been heard saying that "he's doing fine".

 

His behaviour at home over the past year in particular has been horrendous. Hubby and I had one night out recently (can't remember when we last did that), but R became upset with my dad because he asked him to throw a stick for the dog to play with and he took off. My dad forgot to lock the front door and so he took off and my dad caught up with him just as he was approaching one of the busiest roads in Edinburgh. I'm horrified that he frequently puts himself in danger and is frequently threatening us with knives, etc. So, I ask myself, how can he be fine?!

 

I'm anticipating, despite having put forward a very good case, that the placing request will get knocked back, so I've taken the liberty of contacting the Education Minister to see what she can do and have contacted a legal firm that specialises in this, so that I'm prepared to fight and win.

 

Just feel sick at the thought of R not getting a place that he so desperately needs to keep him safe, happy, etc. And, I'm so tired of battling for everything all of the time.

 

Any advice welcomed.

 

Caroline.

[Sally44]

I don't have any experience of medications. I've been fortunate. I've used them myself lol!!!

But I think I would probably take the line you have. Some children need them. I know of a mother and child both with ADHD and she was diagnosed at the same time her son was. And she has explained the difference she feels and how much better it is for her on medication. But at the same time, there are no long term studies about how some of these medications could affect children in the future.

If we were talking about an adult who had such severe anxiety that they were on medication to get through a day at work. I am sure that after some time the GP might raise the issue of whether the person was in the right work environment if it was causing them so much distress. So what is the difference between that scenario and our children?

As his advocate you have the right to decide whether you think medication is in his best interests or not.

And it is awful that we are put in situations where we have to deliberately keep our children in a place to the extent that they become ill before our concerns are taken seriously.

There have been a number of other posts recently about home schooling around medical needs eg. if your son becomes very anxious or depressed you can go to your doctor and ask them to write a letter signing him off school for medical reasons. The LEA then has to provide schooling at home. This is a short term solution. But it would be worth reading those posts to get more information.

You can also involve the Parent Partnership to come and attend meetings with you to take notes if your solicitor is not going to go to any. And it would be alot cheaper.

Find out about all the local schools with experience of teaching children with ASDs and go and visit them and see what their entry criteria is. If he is doing reasonably okay academically (on national curriculum), then some special schools would say he didn't fit their criteria.

I also found out when I was seeking a different placement, that even when the LEA says a certain school has no SEN places left that is not necessarily true. My LEA keeps a couple of places free incase of tribunal cases where parents are seeing out of county placements on the grounds that there are no places available within the LEA.

And I presume the solicitor you have appointed has experience of SEN law?

Just by involving a solicitor you are not guaranteed success (in getting the placement you want). But you might be. Or you might manage to get all the supports he needs in his current school, or at least set a baseline of support levels that your son needs wherever he is placed.

It is very common for the LEA to always refuse and then wait to see which parents take it further. Ie. they refuse SA's, Statements, Placements etc and force parents to tribunal and then frequently capitulate at the last minute. They wouldn't do that if we could claim our legal fees back! But they might force you to have to spend some money on this. The more you are asking for the more they tend to push it. For example someone asking for a Statement that does not include any therapy provision is more likely to get the Statement without going to Tribunal. In my case we started the tribunal and then 10 minutes into it we adjourned and went into a separate room because the LEA agreed to what we were asking and we just needed to thrash out some of the wording. If you are asking for a placement that is out of county, or a private placement then the LEA may take it all the way.

It is always worth having a plan B. Visit all schools in your area that have experience of teaching children with ASDs and see if they have any mainstream places available (especially if it is a mixed mainstream and SEN school). I don't know if your son already has a Statement. In our LEA you need a Statement to access mixed or special schools. However, if you don't have a Statement you can sometimes get a mainstream place in a mixed school if they have mainstream places available. And you can sometimes use discrimination law against them if they try to deny your child a place. It all depends on what he is diagnosed with, if anything.

Do you qualify for Legal Help?

[Karen A]

Hi

 

My son is 7 and has been struggling for too long. I've finally made some big decisions, but am waiting to see if anything comes of it.

 

First thing is medication. CAMHS have acknowledged that kiddo is suffering from severe anxiety and are willing to try medication. I've put the brakes on that because at a recent school review meeting, everyone said everything was fine. It's not fine, far from it! I was forced to ask leading questions in order to get truthful answers, but I'm disgusted that no one was forthright and spoke up for what's genuinely best for my son, instead of politics. It was the school (HT and LA) that first mentioned medication. Although I want medication for my son only if that's what's best for him (not because it's easier for everyone else!), I'm worried that medication will mask the symptoms of not coping in his mainstream school. It seems cruel, but I feel I have no choice but to keep R off medication until those individuals admit that he's not coping - things around bound to get a whole lot worse with a new teacher, new school year, new classroom, new academic and social demands, etc on the horizon.

 

I've been agonising over things for a long time and I feel that R would be best suited at a special school specifically for AS kids. I think he'd be a whole lot happier, would achieve nearer his potential, fit in much better, be more manageable, etc. CAMHS have carried out an emotional assessment and said that he's expressed that he knows he's different and is very sad about that, he's also a very anxious boy. That made me cry having it confirmed that he's aware of this and is suffering. I've taken the bull by the horns and submitted a placing request. All I have to do is sit back and wait 60 days apparently for a decision. I'm at day one and feel sick. I've also been busy firing off letters, left, right and centre, asking for reports to support this application from CAMHS, consultant, Visiting Teacher Services, etc. Our EP doesn't recommend the move, so I've gone over her head - I'm so disgusted and annoyed that she's failed my son and has even been heard saying that "he's doing fine".

 

His behaviour at home over the past year in particular has been horrendous. Hubby and I had one night out recently (can't remember when we last did that), but R became upset with my dad because he asked him to throw a stick for the dog to play with and he took off. My dad forgot to lock the front door and so he took off and my dad caught up with him just as he was approaching one of the busiest roads in Edinburgh. I'm horrified that he frequently puts himself in danger and is frequently threatening us with knives, etc. So, I ask myself, how can he be fine?!

 

I'm anticipating, despite having put forward a very good case, that the placing request will get knocked back, so I've taken the liberty of contacting the Education Minister to see what she can do and have contacted a legal firm that specialises in this, so that I'm prepared to fight and win.

 

Just feel sick at the thought of R not getting a place that he so desperately needs to keep him safe, happy, etc. And, I'm so tired of battling for everything all of the time.

 

Any advice welcomed.

 

Caroline.

 

I know it has been a long journey getting this point. <'>

I hope the placement decision does go through without you having to resort to further battles.I would not have gone for the medication option either if it would just enable school to continue to gloss over the difficulties .Karen.

Edited April 21, 2009 by Karen A

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Thanks for your comments/advice.

 

Strange thing's been happening today whilst I've been at work. My phone hasn't stopped ringing about the placing request that I've made. Am I being cynical or are these people trying to guage how big a fuss I'm prepared to make? Ed Psych also phoned basically saying that she wants R to stay where he is for a bit longer - at what cost to his mental health I ask?! She also asked how disappointed I'd be if R didn't get a place this year. What she doesn't know is that I've made an appointment with the Cabinet Secretary for Education and Lifelong Learning to enlist support. I'm almost looking forward to battling this one out. Received another phonecall from someone on PAG and talked at the poor woman for 15 minutes putting forward a good case for this. Must admit, that I've hardly done a stroke of work - can't think about anything else right now. Although I want a place in the specialist school for R, part of me is fearful that he does get a place as I know how angry/upset/frustrated/scared/etc he'll be at changing schools.

 

Caroline.

[cmuir]

... It all depends on what he is diagnosed with, if anything ....

 

 

Hi

 

Sorry, should have said, kiddo was diagnosed 3.5 years ago with AS.

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

Caroline.

[LizK]

If you get a more appropriate school placement he may end up not needing medication. Surely that is the better outcome

 

Good luck

 

Lx

[cmuir]

If you get a more appropriate school placement he may end up not needing medication. Surely that is the better outcome

 

Good luck

 

Lx

 

 

Hi

 

Yes, my thoughts entirely.

 

Since Tuesday my phone hasn't stopped ringing about the placing request that I've submitted. Basically the Ed Psych isn't happy at all saying she wants to keep him in mainstream for a bit longer - at what cost to his mental health I asked her?! She was also annoyed that she felt it wasn't the place of VTSS (teachers who work only with ASD kids) to tell me, when asked, that they didn't feel he had a future in mainstream. I objected and advised her that it was very much their place, since they have a great deal of experience working with ASD kids, and I asked them for their opinion which I'm entitled to do. She also asked how disappointed would I be if R didn't get a place - didn't have the heart to tell her as yet (and wanted to keep it a surprise) that I have an appointment with a senior Scottish politician who is responsible for Education! Also go a phonecall from head man's PA at Education Dept asking for some background - I talked at the poor woman for 15 minutes solid. Interestingly, I also spoke to R current HT and advised her out of courtesy I wanted to let her know what I was thinking/doing. She was very sympathetic and said she understood my reasons fully. There's nothing more I can do until I get a response, but boy, I'm ready for them if they don't provide R with a place!

 

Caroline.

[Karen A]

Hi

 

Yes, my thoughts entirely.

 

Since Tuesday my phone hasn't stopped ringing about the placing request that I've submitted. Basically the Ed Psych isn't happy at all saying she wants to keep him in mainstream for a bit longer - at what cost to his mental health I asked her?! She was also annoyed that she felt it wasn't the place of VTSS (teachers who work only with ASD kids) to tell me, when asked, that they didn't feel he had a future in mainstream. I objected and advised her that it was very much their place, since they have a great deal of experience working with ASD kids, and I asked them for their opinion which I'm entitled to do. She also asked how disappointed would I be if R didn't get a place - didn't have the heart to tell her as yet (and wanted to keep it a surprise) that I have an appointment with a senior Scottish politician who is responsible for Education! Also go a phonecall from head man's PA at Education Dept asking for some background - I talked at the poor woman for 15 minutes solid. Interestingly, I also spoke to R current HT and advised her out of courtesy I wanted to let her know what I was thinking/doing. She was very sympathetic and said she understood my reasons fully. There's nothing more I can do until I get a response, but boy, I'm ready for them if they don't provide R with a place!

 

Caroline.

 

Hi.I would have thought the VTSS would be the person with the most relevant opinion regarding whether mainstream is worthwhile sticking with.

Some professionals just find it difficult when another professional exprexsses a different opinion. Karen.

 

[cmuir]

Hi.I would have thought the VTSS would be the person with the most relevant opinion regarding whether mainstream is worthwhile sticking with.

Some professionals just find it difficult when another professional exprexsses a different opinion. Karen.

 

 

Hi

 

Absolutely - especially difficult when it could be costly financially to the LEA!

 

C.