carrieq Report post Posted May 14, 2009 Hi, Just had a bit of a deja vue moment today with my youngest dd. A nursery child was handing out party invites in the cloak room to all children apart from dd. Took me back to ds when he was that age and as dd stood with her head hanging down swaying it from side to side and watching her hair I got another attack of "the doubts"!! She has no friends at nursery and staff have said she doesn't try to play with anyone else as she is happiest doing her own things her own way. Fine she may be a bit immature for her age and a bit of a princess but added to her need to take things apart, a favourite of ds, her ability to be on the go all day, climbing up and onto things, her love of being in boxes etc. Something just isn't sitting right but on the other hand she has a huge vocabulary which ds din't have, she has imagination but also uses quotes from her programmes which ds also did. She can play imaginatively, more so than ds and likes to pretend to be a cat or a dog. She is very demanding and hates other peoples noise but her own is fine! I don't know, I am worried I am missing something and doing what I did with ds and not acting quickly enough when being told its all down to something else. Any info on Aspergers and how it presents in girls would be very much appreciated and help put my already bothered and full mind to rest!! Thanks Carrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frizz Report post Posted May 14, 2009 Hi. She sounds a lot like my daughter at the same age.(she is now 9) She had a terrific vocabulary & spoke really well too from a very young age. She also taught herself to read at 3.5yrs! Even today she likes us to pretend we are a family of rabbits, or "can i be your puppy called Fred?" etc etc... Dependent on th interest at the time she always wants to be somebody other than herself. She plays imaginatively too with dolls,toy animals etc & even tries to play imaginative games with her brother,which is fine providing he sticks to her terms!!!! I hate to give what appears to be such a negative response to your question, but everything you have detailed is my Daughter. One thing that still frustrates me now,is that I approached her teacher in yr1 & asked if she thought she could have AS. I had done my own research & felt she could have. The teacher said it was a 'maturity thing & it would come so not to worry'! A new school,for year 3, more kids,more demands & suddenly things got ten times worse.We got our diagnoses last August, 2 years after I first approached the teacher! How I wish I had gone with my gut feeling back then. We are now in dire straights at school.My bright child wont work & has weekly agressive outbursts. She cannot deal with any negative emotion & can be so stroppy & uncooperative its not true. They do say AS in girls often goes unnoticed until the teens because girls cope better & can mask it. Who knows if this is the case? Good luck Carrie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
carrieq Report post Posted May 14, 2009 Thank you Frizz, forgot about everything having to be on her terms!! I think I will raise my concerns so at least we are on a waiting list and the ball is rolling! I know what you mean about school as I had terrible trouble with ds in mainstream pre and for a year post dx. Thanks for your reply Carrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
looby4 Report post Posted May 15, 2009 Frizz - my nine year old daughter is the same. I am currently sitting out an 11 week wait for referral to our local services, her diagnosis was received from GOSH last year. Any tips for the unco-operative, stroppy behaviour? My daughter is rude, aggressive, like yours - will not do homework without a huge fight, and no reward systems like pocket money, promise of a treat etc. seem to work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frizz Report post Posted May 16, 2009 Frizz - my nine year old daughter is the same. I am currently sitting out an 11 week wait for referral to our local services, her diagnosis was received from GOSH last year. Any tips for the unco-operative, stroppy behaviour? My daughter is rude, aggressive, like yours - will not do homework without a huge fight, and no reward systems like pocket money, promise of a treat etc. seem to work. HiLooby4- We have one of the same! Its frustrating,exhuasting etc,etc. We are a week away from our first visit from camhs. Hoping for some tips on how to manage the behaviour,because as you say nothing weve tried works. We will have to swap tips when we find something that works. Im so grateful to have found this site & to know We are not alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 16, 2009 heya frizz sounds like it could be right track AS you doing positive step forward by going to CAMHS to get appropriate assesment and diagnosis for her! good luck with everything! yes AS is often masked as you put it because we cope so well with it more so than boys! teacher saying maturity thing and that will come along well it could be better to get it properly checked out you know her better mother knowledge of her child my mum was same natural feelings something always been wrong with me not normal as such! different to other children my age! found out was dyspraxia and AS together hiding! no-one wanted to accept and take notice part from parents -supportive and understanding teachers at school wasn't at all my mum accused of being 'overprotective' and making my medical condtion up! i now know very common to hear them words shrug it off as not to worry it aint that easy when it there all time in your face day in day out easy for them to dismiss isn't their life or their family though-reality! the agressive outbursts are probably connected with anger and frustration n confusion at herself they linked to AS! known in autistic world as -meltdowns! certain triggers can set one off sensory or emotional issues! is she depressed,anxious,socially isolated? hows her social communication skills? i couldnt deal and cope with negative emotions which also sounds like AS! alot of her signs like you say point to this! glad you getting help and support now rather than later sounds like you and her need it to happen! i have good vocab which can sometimes fool people into believing there's nothing wrong with me i'm not autistic! but my social communcation skills could be so much better and be improved upon i try my best with what i've been given that's it i put pressure on myself to perform well as good as everyone else in my peer group does your daughter? does your son show signs of AS? anyone else in your family have AS/ASD? once hopefully get official diagnosis for her then maybe can plan school support like inclusion support IEP etc,LSA 1:1 with her review meeting etc good luck at CAMHS and everything hope goes well for you and get what you need from them! maybe write down questions you have about it so can ask when at CAMHS? - be in touch local parents support groups maybe run my parents with child with ASD! this may help with information and advice! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 16, 2009 Looby, maybe sit down with daughter and together make up a contract between yourself and her explaining on chart with colourful pics what will be consequences if she misbehaves in way you don't like! get you and her to sign it! and write simple so she can understand the use of having it there! maybe also counselling,CBT anger management and Behaviour management courses maybe going to local ASD parent support group where can pick up tips and advice and maybe ask GP for referal to CAMHS to find out why she so defiant and aggressive? is there main trigger which sets her off makes her angry upset annoyed frustrated? what support she get at school? she have understanding supportive teachers? is she being bullied? find homwork too hard ,difficult? she acamedically behind in her skills and abilities?is CAMHS local services u waiting for maybe check up to see where she is on there list?is she anxious or depressed but hides it from you well?or has behavioural disorders been explored as well as ASD like ODD,CD and ADHD/ADD? is she implusive ,hyperactive? hurts herself or others? get in trouble at school alot get sent out>? finds keeping concentration difficult and attention span shorter?maybe meds is route you could go down with local services? does her difance settle down any and her agression? is she out of control? do you feel this her? or medical condtions making her like this? when did these problems start? at what age? maybe social worker in place!? take care good luck with everything XKLX hope get it sorted for your and her sake? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
florrie Report post Posted May 19, 2009 (edited) Hi you might find this book of help about aspergers in girls, it can (but not always)present very differently in girls to the stereotypical male that people associate with aspergers. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Aspergers-Girls-To...6306&sr=8-1 and another one for younger girls http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-Under-Umbrel...6527&sr=8-2 Edited May 19, 2009 by florrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mac4 Report post Posted May 25, 2009 Hello Your description of your dd is like a mirror of my own dd. She was dx back in December, we too played the dog game, let me be your puppy mum, this game went on for 4yrs it was the only game she enjoyed!!! Now she has an obsession about dogs and knows alot about dog breeds she spends alot of time matching people she knows to the right dog breed!! AH but we love her!! She's wacky and grand!! If your gut tells you something isn't quite right then the best thing for your little girl is to get professional help. Good luck!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
