bluefish Report post Posted June 21, 2009 hi, my brother has just anounced he is getting married in spain in November. But he is rather put out I will not be able to go.... He knows his nephew is autistic but seems to have taken it as a personal afront that I will not be able to go! I have tried to explain that ds does not travel..... he is well aware that when our grandmother was very ill I drove 7 hours to see her and had to stay overnight at a travel lodge it was horrific it took two of us to get poor ds through the doors screaming and then a very difficult evening with ds begging to go home. I have decided that I do what is best for ds and that does not include a flight to spain! I feel so sad that his uncle cant understand, why would I turn down a week in the sun unless I had a dam good reason moan over! but I do feel sad that family dont understand Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted June 21, 2009 Hi You've done the right thing putting your child first. I wonder how your brother would feel if all hell broke lose at his wedding because your son couldn't cope with everything? I think some people are well-meaning, but unless in our shoes, will never truly understand, despite professing to. Don't feel bad for putting your son first (that's what any good mum would do!). Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frogslegs Report post Posted June 21, 2009 A lot of people seem to think they know best what is good for us. I think we all need to do what is best for our children and ourselves, not to please others. And would he really approve if his wonderful wedding was troubled by a screaming child? I don't think so...You'd probably get blamed for that too. Just stick to what you know is right even if it is tough. <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mum of 3 Report post Posted June 22, 2009 People get so upset about their weddings, don't they? I totally agree with the others, you've made entirely the right decision. I think family often think that we're too protecting of our ASD children, and that they'd 'grow out of it' or 'get used to it' if we just did the things with them, instead of 'protecting ' them. It's something that must be very difficult to understand if you've only come across NT children. Would it help to write a letter to your uncle and explain it in a letter? Sometimes, people can understand our point of view better when they have time to re-read things and mull over what's been said. Also, you're able to re-draft and make sure that you explain things unemotionally and unambiguously, without being sidetracked like you are in a conversation. A letter, followed by a great, congratulary telegram on the day (can you still do those?), and a good gift, and they'll have nothing to complain about. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted June 22, 2009 It's a bit rude anyway to get married abroad and expect you to travel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted June 23, 2009 you got to do whats best for you and your son,took me years to stop trying to please people,they havent got a clue but then really i spose why should they,i never even heard of aspergers till i had steve ,stick to your guns,you know whats best xxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
