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skye

TV at bedtime

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My daughter has major sleeping problems. She has nightmares and tries to force herself to stay awake. She stays up for a couple of hours after we put her to bed. She often yells down and says things like "my brains is telling me bad things." She has always had these problems. I know most people will probably think it is a bad idea but I was wondering if having a tv with some relaxing shows like little bear or something playing at bedtime might help to quiet her mind and help her get off to sleep.

A friend of mine who has a son on the spectrum said that putting a tv in his room has really helped him stay in bed and get to sleep on his own. I am really torn because DD watches a lot of tv and plays computer games as it is. I don't really want to add anymore but was thinking about limiting daytime watching so the extra hour at night wouldn't be too bad. Does anyone have any practical advice about this? I would like to hear if you think having a tv in the bedroom is helpful at all or a completely bad idea. Thanks, Skye

Edited by skye

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I would think it very much depends on the individual! we don't (yet), but we don't have awful sleeping problems either.....

 

perhaps in your case try putting a Tv that is only connected to a videa/DVD player - so you can put on something soothing, know it will last a limited time and rest assured she is not switching over to "Scariest Ghost Stories" or something equally inappropriate!

 

 

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No we wouldn't run any normal tv through it. We wouldn't have that problem anyway. She won't even watch films like Ice Age or Garfield because she thinks they are too scary. She cried all the way through Barbie Diamond Castle because of the "baddies". She is very funny about TV viewing and will only watch a few shows like Dora, Peppa Pig and Tigger and Poo.

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No we wouldn't run any normal tv through it. We wouldn't have that problem anyway. She won't even watch films like Ice Age or Garfield because she thinks they are too scary. She cried all the way through Barbie Diamond Castle because of the "baddies". She is very funny about TV viewing and will only watch a few shows like Dora, Peppa Pig and Tigger and Poo.

 

I know what you mean - my MiL took DS to see Polar Express at the cinema when he was about your daughter's age - they left after abotu 10 mins cos it was too scary & he was screaming the place down. Dora is lovely - almost educational and there4 are billions of DVD's out there!

 

BTW - he is 9 now and watches all the pixar-type films, and even the occasional Dr Who (we screen them first). So she probably will grow into other stuff eventually.

Edited by KezT

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My daughter has major sleeping problems. She has nightmares and tries to force herself to stay awake. She stays up for a couple of hours after we put her to bed. She often yells down and says things like "my brains is telling me bad things." She has always had these problems. I know most people will probably think it is a bad idea but I was wondering if having a tv with some relaxing shows like little bear or something playing at bedtime might help to quiet her mind and help her get off to sleep.

Hi - I really feel for your little girl. I have severe flashbacks and night terrors and at times I'm too scared to go to sleep (I didn't recognise this until someone else pointed it out but then I saw I was doing everything possible to avoid my triggers - unfortunately that meant avoiding going to bed!! :oops:).

 

TV in the room is a difficult one - all the parenting advice I think (I'm not a parent) is 'no' - however speaking from my own experience, having a DVD on that I know very well (or watching Dave/E4 for the same repetitive effect! :shame:) so there are no surprises and I can get into it which will include, depending on the film, doing the whole script :whistle: is calming as it takes my mind off thinking about other things.

 

One thing you could try if you want a step between nothing and TV (and I don't know if this is applicable in your DD's case) would be story CDs - maybe a repetitive favourite one would help and it would be less stimulation and actually requires more mind focus to listen so she would concentrate on that (and possibly fall asleep to it) rather than other thoughts and feelings.

 

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Hi

 

My son's consultant expressed clearly that she thinks it's a bad idea because things like TV apparently keep the mind active. Things like exercise, game playing, etc all have the same effect. She went on the stress the important of a good nightime routine ie dinner, bath, winding down time eg story, then lights out, bed. If only it were that easy!!!

 

My son is on melatonin as I couldn't cope with the sleepless nights (I've actually developed a sleep problem!). It helps massively - although it doesn't keep him asleep, it helps to get him off to sleep much earlier than the usual midnight - 1am! I did introduce a tv in his room. If I tried to read him a story, more often than not, it would get thrown at me! I tried all sorts of other things too, but feel that tv has been the most successful thing at getting him to stay in his room, lie in his bed relaxed, ultimately having more of a chance of sleeping at a decent time (obviously coupled with the melatonin). I'm obviously careful about what he watches, but for us it works. Must admit that I personally feel that game watching is a bad thing - it makes the brain active and if kiddo is anything like my son, can get very easily wound up if the game isn't going as expected.

 

Caroline.

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Sorry, but I think it's a flawed idea unless your daughter regularly falls asleep in front of the TV downstairs/in the daytime. If your littlun just had trouble getting to sleep then a timed TV 'run down' at the end of the day wouldn't be such a bad idea, but if she fights sleep then a TV is just going to help her fight it.

My son too had all sorts of sleep troubles (I posted years ago about his night -time 'visitors' - hallucinations etc), and I really would recommend a solid night time routine with 'wind down time', baths, quite play etc etc leading up to bed and supportive yet predictable and 'firm' boundaries once there.

As alternatives to TV you could try music and maybe something like one of those 'space' projector nightlites, but in each case it should be something very laid back and unobtrusive. For music I'd try 'new agey' stuff with no vocals (she'll be listening for them) and ambient sounds without heavy drumbeats or rhythms, and for lighting something slow and cyclic rather than flashing and patterned.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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My daughter also has sleeping problems, getting off to sleep is difficult and then she will also wake in the night. Up until about the age of 10 she would be scared of monsters in her room and we had to do a thorough spider check before she would even get into bed. She saw CAMHS for a while to help her with these problems and they suggested a few strategies to help. The most effective method of getting rid of the monsters was to draw pictures of them and lock them in a small box that she had, when it was full we burnt them. However to actually go to sleep she listens to story tapes she's 14 now and still listens to them. She still wakes in the night and puts the tapes back on to get herself off again.

 

Hope that helps.

 

Janey

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We have found story tapes work wonders for my oldest daughter, however my youngest daughter will not sleep with out a dvd she usually picks the same one and the volume is down very low, she nos it word perfect anyway. but the agreement is when it finishes the tv is then turned off and she is usually relaxed enough by then to go to sleep. I think everyone parents differenty what works for one family may not work for another, its all trial and error. Good luck with whatever you deciced.

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After years of problems with my son not sleeping or waking in the middle of the night and roaming the house getting up to all sorts we finally realised that he really does function on only 4 or 5 hours sleep a night, so we put a tv & dvd player in his room (our idea he had never asked for one) and its worked a treat.

 

He relaxes on his own and drops off but when he wakes he puts on a film and stays put and we don't find the devastation in the kitchen of half eaten yoguhts hidden in corners and the many other tricks he has got up to when the rest of the house is asleep.

 

He's 16 now so it s taken along while getting there but its what worked for us though i dare say it wouldn't for others.

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DS (15) has a TV with DVD player - it goes on as he gets into bed, he puts the duvet over his head and goes straight to sleep. I go up later when he's deep asleep and switch it off.

 

Initially it was a device to get him upstairs so that I could have some 'me time' at the end of the day and he used to watch it on continuous loop for a couple of hours. However since we changed his diet a long time ago, getting to sleep and staying asleep hasn't been a problem except for when he's ill or has something troubling him. He's old enough to make his own choice and he really does like to have it on.

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Wow you go to the camping shop and come back and loads of people have replied!! I have to say I am still torn about the idea. I respect what a few people have said about not doing it, but then I read a couple where it has worked a treat. I did not go out and buy one today which is what I had intended to do. I really wanted to see what people had to say on here first. As far as a night time routine, we have a very strict routine that has been followed for a couple of years. She has video games off 2 hours before lay down time, then she can come chill out downstairs and possibly play go fish or a board game. She comes up and brushes teeth, then we have to fill the water cup with fresh water (this is a must) She is allowed to pick out a story which I then read. We say night night and she has a sip of water. I go downstairs after telling her to go to sleep and to not come down and that everything is going to be alright.

After this she runs around upstairs trying to busy herself with doing stuff. She yells down a few times telling me she will never shut her eyes again and that her brain is telling her scary stuff. She tries to con me upstairs with sickness, crying, shouting etc. On the occasion when I do come up I find nothing is wrong and she begs me to stay with her. She does this until about 11pm until she finally falls asleep. Then I go to bed myself.

I have decided for now to try to put the bath back into the night time routine. I have ordered a bedtime PECS board off the net so we can arrange how it will be done. Unfortunately she has gone off baths in a big way, she used to love them? I am going to try to sneak in a couple of drops of lavender into the bath and have no TV for the hour or two leading up to bedtime.

I spoke to the Doctor about melatonin. He said it may help her get off to sleep but it would not stop the nightmares and night terrors. She has nightmares about people going ahead of her in line and screaming it's mine or I want to win in her sleep. She usually wakes up crying or just keeps shouting out in her sleep. She also has scary and confusing dreams too. Poor thing. All I can do is tighten up the routine for now.

Call Me Jaded I am very interested about what the diet change was that helped your son to sleep through. My DD suffered severe colic as a baby and never slept then either, however she was breastfed. I believe there is still a level of casien in breatmilk so I am really starting to suspect this about a lot of different things including sleep problems and illness. Thanks everyone who has replied to this. I am going to read all of the replies again and try to take some tips. I think the CD's sounded like a good idea too. XO :thumbs:

Edited by skye

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Well at 5 I used to have to let my DS fall asleep on the sofa and carry him up, so you're doing very well.

 

It was the old GFCF diet that made such a difference. DS used have night sweats with a funny 'maple syrup' smell to them, very hyperactive, no attention span (seriously, two seconds) never slept for more than a couple of hours, I used to get into bed with him sometimes from sheer exhaustion, permanent runny nose, ear infection after infection, very pale, bags under his eyes that the GP used to joke with me about, very underweight, caught every bug going, as well as the poo problem.

 

Unless you can see some of these indicators I don't think diet will be it, but just thought I should mention it as a possible.

 

Have you heard about weighted blankets?

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DS had no trouble sleeping when he was little, but when he was very unwell as a teenager with severe anxiety, etc, he couldn't get to sleep. I got him a plinkity hippy-dippy relaxation tape that helped, lavender incense, and he also played The Lord of the Rings music CD too.

 

Just remembered that when DD#1 was a new baby and DS would have been 6, I was home alone for a year when DH went back to uni to do his PGCE. I couldn't get to sleep unless I had the radio on low (Radio 4)...I seem to remember you could select the option of it switching itself off after half an hour or so.

 

Bid :)

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tv is supposed to be bad because of the flicker, and the amount of brain used to process the moving images. if she needs comfort a cd of bedtime stories would be fine, but it sounds more like her problem is staying still long enough to fall asleep. if shes running up and down then theres no way she'll fall asleep. our little one does the same thing, she'll work herself up into such a state that she can't stay still long enough to actually fall asleep. on those nights we read to her until she falls asleep. we give her an hour to try and do it herself (dont wanna get stuck reading her to sleep every night) then we start off with a story she likes. then move on to another story that is nice, but less exciting, and then we read a story with a complex storyline so that she can't follow the story. we've never had to read for more than 20 minutes, the noise of our voice calms her and because we're in the room she stays in bed.

 

obviously that wouldn't work if you're putting her to bed at 7 and she wont sleep til 11, so its down to whether you think she's tired enough at her bedtime, or needs to stay up a bit longer. our one is far worse at sleeping if she's overtired though.

 

reading to sleep sounds like a lot of work, but i find 20 minutes of reading is far less stressful than sitting listening to the noise of her not sleeping (and she only sings/shouts/bangs)

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my son used to listen to a cd called mozart for babies. He was about your daughters age. It had 2 cds, one bedtime and one playtime. The bedtime music is all of Mozarts calming music. My son used to fall asleep listening to this.

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Before I went into hospial to have the Twins, I made a tape of me reading stories, for T to listen to while I was not here. He loved it and played it for many years.

 

Maybe hearing your/oh's voice on a tape would help?

 

We also used to read a book "The Huge Bag of Worries", and he liked that.

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