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Willow-Tree

Sent Home On The First Day Of School

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i did it. i also never suggested anywhere that it would be simple. only that it was the only clear alternative to refusal to abide by the schools rules ie move somewhere where the rules are different.

 

private school uniform suppliers have clothes in a wide variety of fabrics and colours including 100% wool, 100% cotton, blends etc. i find it hard to believe that every item of clothes you own is 85% viscose 15% polyamide. perhaps start looking at other fabrics you know you can wear. likewise with the trousers.

No not everything is that mix. Yes I will look for others. Sorry, just can't really be bothered with this anymore, you don't know the ins and outs of my life, and I think it's difficult to comment on things when you don't know the whole story, especially the way you seem to be commenting. Apologies if I've taken it the wrong way. Sorry I bothered any one. I just don't have the energy to be challenged on this forum about everything I say.

 

xx

Edited by Willow-Tree

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i did it.

 

Just because you did it doesn't mean it's possible for everyone. It wouldn't be possible for my son and I wouldn't want someone to make a judgement of him without even having met him.

 

~ Mel ~

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Just because you did it doesn't mean it's possible for everyone. It wouldn't be possible for my son and I wouldn't want someone to make a judgement of him without even having met him.

 

~ Mel ~

 

Thank you for sticking up for me. I did say why I couldn't go to college when I replied earlier.

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I is always tough when people don't understand - many uniform suppliers have become obsessed with cheapness/stain resistency - my daughter had an allergic reaction to an item she bought from M&S uniform range as it was coated in teflon - I could never see my AS daughter wearing any of these uniform option.

 

I really sympathise as a quick trawl through some uniform websites does prove your point that burgundy school jumpers appear to be a hard commodity to find as most stockists only have red, black, blue and grey in nice fabrics and other colours such as burgundy are acrylic

 

It may be a good idea to look in "workwear" sections of stores as plain cardigans appear to be in fashion for workwear this year so perhaps you might find something suitable.

 

Can to wear 100% cotton cardigans/jumpers?

 

I have found one 100% cotton burgundy cardigan - that you can order online - but it's actually from a MENSWEAR range - although the style is also feminine

 

http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/se...mp;cmpId=kelkoo

 

 

Also Landsend - is worth a look - I am currently wearing their "Yoga pants" to work as I have psoriasis and many of the synthetic fabrics make me come out in a rash - litterally

 

they have a soft supina cotton jumper in "red grape" - which must be like a burgundy :)

 

http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-V...mp;origin=index

 

or a cardigan

http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-C...mp;origin=index

 

 

 

Anyway hope that you find something - still can't beleive that the school is prepared to jeapodise your education over a cardigan colour-espcially haveing let you wear the cardigan for a year - I'm sure that the head of your school would have had a cow if he saw what my DD 13 AS/ADHD wore to school today

- bright pink embroidered scoop neck cotton T shirt

- bright pink and oragnge check (very!) short cotton skirt

- bright pink leggings

- no socks

- ECCO sandals

:o

Edited by puffin

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Can to wear 100% cotton cardigans/jumpers?

 

I have found one 100% cotton burgundy cardigan - that you can order online - but it's actually from a MENSWEAR range - although the style is also feminine

 

http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/se...mp;cmpId=kelkoo

 

 

Also Landsend - is worth a look - I am currently wearing their "Yoga pants" to work as I have psoriasis and many of the synthetic fabrics make me come out in a rash - litterally

 

they have a soft supina cotton jumper in "red grape" - which must be like a burgundy :)

 

http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-V...mp;origin=index

 

or a cardigan

http://www1.landsend.co.uk/pp/Fine-Gauge-C...mp;origin=index

 

 

 

Anyway hope that you find something - still can't beleive that the school is prepared to jeapodise your education over a cardigan colour-espcially haveing let you wear the cardigan for a year - I'm sure that the head of your school would have had a cow if he saw what my DD 13 AS/ADHD wore to school today

- bright pink embroidered scoop neck cotton T shirt

- bright pink and oragnge check (very!) short cotton skirt

- bright pink leggings

- no socks

- ECCO sandals

:o

 

Hiya,

 

Tthank you so much for your support and for looking for jumpers for me. The first one you suggested is pretty much the right colour but I highly doubt that the school would accept the style. They have clearly stated that it needs to be a v-neck jumper. The jumper from 'Landsend' would probably be my best bet. It is a tad bright, but the cardigan from the same range looks darker, so if that was a more accurate portrayal of the colour, it would be okay. It isn't a material I have worn before, so it would be a risk buying it. I have just emailed my headteacher, so I'll see what he says to that. Fed up of people talking on my behalf, so I thought a personal email might help. Or not!

 

Willow

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I think that 'reasonable adjustments' under the Disability Discrimination Act cover this problem.

Also a diagnosis of autism/aspergers usually is accompanied by Sensory issues, which includes clothing and how it 'feels' against the body as well as how various fabrics feel against the skin. Could the community Occupational Therapist or the Autism Outreach Teacher give some advice to school on this. Sensory issues are 'real', they are not just a child/adult with 'an attitude'. Sensory integration is a medical diagnosis. It isn't something 'you get used to' and it can be painful and distracting - as you know yourself.

Maybe your mum could ask the solicitor whether it would be worth contacting the abovementioned 'outside agencies' that could advise school. Afterall that is what they are there for. Or if there is a special school in your LEA area that has children on the spectrum, they would be able to give advice to school.

The school is ignorant of your needs and should be seeking advice from outside agencies. Has your mum asked them to do that? Has your mum been in touch with the inclusion officer at your LEA, or the Parent Partnership, or the NAS/IPSEA for advice on how to resolve this asap.

Then there needs to be some agreement in writing between you and school. Some schools allow different clothes, peaked caps, ear phones etc as ways of helping those on the spectrum be able to tolerate and cope in different environments.

If you google I am sure you would be able to find many well known adults on the spectrum who have talked about sensory issues - tactile sensitivities being one of them. Print them off and your mum could send that into school as well.

 

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Didn't the letter from your GP/consultant sort it all out?

 

Bid :)

 

Hiya, no, they asked me to get that over the summer holidays, which I did, and when I went in on the first day and gave it them they said it wasn't good enough. Hence the huge catastrophe and solicitors etc :(

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I think that 'reasonable adjustments' under the Disability Discrimination Act cover this problem.

Also a diagnosis of autism/aspergers usually is accompanied by Sensory issues, which includes clothing and how it 'feels' against the body as well as how various fabrics feel against the skin. Could the community Occupational Therapist or the Autism Outreach Teacher give some advice to school on this. Sensory issues are 'real', they are not just a child/adult with 'an attitude'. Sensory integration is a medical diagnosis. It isn't something 'you get used to' and it can be painful and distracting - as you know yourself.

Maybe your mum could ask the solicitor whether it would be worth contacting the abovementioned 'outside agencies' that could advise school. Afterall that is what they are there for. Or if there is a special school in your LEA area that has children on the spectrum, they would be able to give advice to school.

The school is ignorant of your needs and should be seeking advice from outside agencies. Has your mum asked them to do that? Has your mum been in touch with the inclusion officer at your LEA, or the Parent Partnership, or the NAS/IPSEA for advice on how to resolve this asap.

Then there needs to be some agreement in writing between you and school. Some schools allow different clothes, peaked caps, ear phones etc as ways of helping those on the spectrum be able to tolerate and cope in different environments.

If you google I am sure you would be able to find many well known adults on the spectrum who have talked about sensory issues - tactile sensitivities being one of them. Print them off and your mum could send that into school as well.

Thank you for all of your ideas, I will make sure we put most of those things into action! We've never had to deal with anything like this before so thanks for the help. xx

 

PS. The student support (SENCO) at my school told me that I shouldn't have any issues with clothing...

Edited by Willow-Tree

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I've just googled and found lots of info. That below is from Wikipedia.

 

Sensory defensiveness

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Tactile defensiveness)

Jump to: navigation, search

Sensory defensiveness is a condition defined as having "a tendency to react negatively or with alarm to sensory input which is generally considered harmless or non-irritating" to neurotypical persons.[1]

 

It is not uncommon for individuals to have a few mild sensory defensive traits. However, when multiple defensive traits impact the person's day-to-day life, that person is considered to be Sensory Defensive.

 

Contents [hide]

1 Symptoms

2 Causes

3 Effects and treatment

4 Component of other disorders

5 References

6 Further reading

 

 

 

[edit] Symptoms

Common symptoms of sensory defensiveness include intolerance of high-pitched noises, intolerance of chewing sounds, intolerance of overhead lights (especially fluorescent lighting); experiencing a feeling of being attacked upon being touched (especially from light touch or sudden touch); intolerance of certain types of fabrics in contact with the skin; becoming nauseated upon smelling something that does not smell bad to neurotypical individuals; difficulty maintaining eye-contact; severe intolerance of foods due to taste, texture, or temperature; and generally becoming overwhelmed when exposed to a lot of sensory stimuli at once.

 

Intolerance in this context should not always be taken as unwillingness to be subject to the sensory stimuli in question; rather, intolerance is an inability to process the sensory stimuli in any way other than as over-stimulating, because the sensory stimuli provokes a fight-or-flight reaction. This is also known as sensory overload.

 

Sensory defensiveness can vary between individuals:

 

The senses that are problematic for one person may not be so for another. (Commonly, individuals report major issues with two or three senses and minor issues with the other senses.)

Increases stress to a high degree, and can evoke anger in some as a result.

How easily and the way in which a particular sense bothers individuals varies (e.g. high-pitched noises may annoy someone, or they may hurt his/her ears; touch may provoke anxiety, or it can be painful).

The triggers for a particular sense vary between people (e.g. one person may be sensitive to the texture of mushy foods, while another may be sensitive to crunchy foods).

 

[edit] Causes

There are believed to be multiple etiologies for sensory defensiveness, including genetic factors, environmental conditioning, drug or alcohol abuse, sexual abuse, or premature birth. [2] Those diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder report much higher than average rates of hypersensitivity to sensory stimulus.[3]

 

 

[edit] Effects and treatment

Sensory overload can lead to what is commonly termed a "melt-down". This may look much like a tantrum, or a person may undergo dissociation, which causes him/her to withdraw into himself/herself. Individuals will often cope with their sensory difficulties by avoiding those situations that cause them irritation. Occupational therapists often prescribe "sensory diets". This is a therapy that is tailored to the individual in which he/she gets to experience calming sensory stimuli that help to balance his/her sensory system. Snoezelen rooms, in which sensory experiences can be controlled and explored, are sometimes used. Individuals will often naturally create or find their own calming sensory stimuli (stims) or sensory diets.

 

The other side to these issues is that many people report a positively heightened awareness of their senses, under the right conditions. They also promote "stims", which can include music, exercise, and any other pleasing sensory stimulation, as natural means of reducing stress.

 

 

[edit] Component of other disorders

Sensory defensiveness is a part of Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Sensory Integration Dysfunction is considered a symptom of the autism spectrum, but a person does not have to display other autistic traits to have sensory defensiveness or sensory integration dysfunction. Sensory integration dysfunction and defensiveness are also common with developmental dyspraxia, cerebral palsy,[4] and fetal alcohol syndrome.[5]

 

 

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Hiya, I just gave my Mum a huge list of telephone numbers to work through, all for people/organisations that might be able to help the situation a bit. I'll let you know how that goes. Finger's crossed!

 

Willow

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Hi Willow,

 

I hope that you manage to sort something, this is completely unreasonable considering that there were previous accommodations in place. It is ridiculous to make such a big deal out of this (from the school I mean).

 

SG

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Hi Willow,

 

I hope that you manage to sort something, this is completely unreasonable considering that there were previous accommodations in place. It is ridiculous to make such a big deal out of this (from the school I mean).

 

SG

 

Hiya, I know :(

 

Mum just rang round all the people that were previously suggested on here and they all said that they would only be doing what the solicitor is doing so...it's really just up to him. I'm really considering phoning the local newspaper. I did write to my headteacher but he's not responded. Here's what I wrote:

 

Dear [head teacher],

 

I realise that we have never met and it must be quite annoying for you to have a solicitor emailing you about my situation with the school jumper. Please understand just how important this year is for me. I have never made it to year 11 before and believe me I have tried, twice. I missed a lot of work last term, and it is my understanding that some subjects began year 11 topics early; therefore I was already behind before I even started year 11. I have had some work sent to me to do at home, but I cannot do school work at home without having things fully explained to me in a classroom situation; that has always been the case, which is why I fall so behind wherever I am.

 

The longer I am out of school, the harder it is going to be for me to return, I can't deal with it very well (for a vast number of reasons) on a daily basis anyway, and prolonged absence just makes me never want to go back; I start to forget my reasons for being there. Before I returned to school last September, I had been out of education for approximately two years and in that time I was passed between therapists and psychiatrists because no one knew what was wrong with me. I was told that I had had a nervous breakdown; I was told that I had a phobia of school and I was told that I was mentally ill. When I eventually got diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder and dyspraxia, everything made sense to me and I made the decision to go back to school to get my education. I had to fight for it, and I will always be thankful to [previous head teacher] for giving me this chance. I just don't want to see it go out of the window because of the colour of a jumper. I realise that you may not understand what the problem is with a colour, or even with the material. But please understand that to me, it is a very, very big problem, otherwise I wouldn't have got a solicitor involved. Me and my Mother tried to resolve this issue last term and were told to obtain a doctors note for the jumper, which I did. But still it is not acceptable.

 

I cannot wear anything else other than the single black jumper that I have been wearing for the majority of the past year. You could find me a burgundy jumper that was of all the right materials, but I still wouldn't be able to wear it, purely because I have been used to wearing the black one. As stupid as it sounds, that is the truth. I realise that the black jumper stands out from the rest, but it is only for one school year and then I will be gone. I got a school polo shirt professionally fitted to my shape so that it wouldn't be baggy and irritate me, but I still had a panic attack before I got out the door because it's just not what I wear to school.

 

This is literally my last chance at getting my GCSE's in a school environment, and I don't want to get them at college because I feel I need to complete school. I was always bullied and had to leave, and this time round that isn't happening to me, and I thought I would be able to finish for once. I am missing far too much work to be able to catch up on and I fear that soon the workload will be too much for me to cope with. If I felt that I could compromise, I would, I have bought two jumpers that are almost burgundy (they are actually closer to purple in colour and one of them was an inappropriate style for school), but they have irritated me in one way or another and I have had to get rid of them, because wearing them only results in more panic attacks.

 

I am sorry that I can't put my feelings in words very well, but you must understand how deeply upset and extremely stressed I am that I cannot be in school and I ask you to reconsider your decision about not letting me wear my black jumper.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Willow Marsden

 

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Now that you have got a solicitor involved, it's best not to communicate directly with the school without contacting the solicitor first. I would not recommend sending your letter. The school's solicitor will probably advise your head not to reply anyway.

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If your solicitor says it is okay and you don't mind the hassle I'd contact every local newspaper, radio etc. you can.

 

Once people read about what an unreasonable pillock your headteacher is being it is only a matter of time before things are righted.

Edited by scaly_piscine

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Hiya everyone,

 

I have a meeting with the Head Teacher next Friday.

 

I'm assuming it's bad news, probably. Or not just a simple 'Yes we're okay with the jumper now' because if it was they would have just phoned or emailed to say that so that I could be in on Monday. I've missed 3 weeks now, so by the time the meeting comes around it'll be a month. Good luck to me trying to catch up...*sarcasm*

 

If they delay it anymore I don't know if I will be able to catch up as there are some real GCSE exams coming up in November. I feel like they are doing this on purpose now, as the only person who actually wanted me to come to the school and said yes was the Head Teacher who just left...coincidence: probably. But still. They are doing all they can to delay this further.

 

Willow

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Good luck for next week. As you say, if you don't go back soon, you'll be at a real disadvantage. Maybe it's time to consider whether another educational setting would suit you better and help you to achieve your goals.

 

K x

 

 

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How did your meeting go?

 

Not allowed back in to school.

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Not allowed back in to school.

 

Sorry about the short post I was upset. I can't continue in year 11 so I won't get my GCSE's. They offered me a place in sixth form next September to get some sort of GCSE equivalent so that they year after I can get A Levels at sixth form. In the mean time they said I can voluntarily work at the school so that I don't lose my routine completely. It's okay I guess. They've been reasonable and they are making a lot of exceptions. More so than they would have had to if they just let me wear the jumper. But...whatever. So. That's that. I'll now be 3 years behind.

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This sounds bizarre - does the school mean that you can be in school in the "wrong jumper" to do "voluntary work" but not to continue your education???? I don't understand the logic in this at all?

 

What does your solicitor say?

 

I think it might be best to talk to a local college or find out if there is an online option that you could take.

 

Have you/your family been in touch with ipsea - they may be able to advise - especially given that you have been excluded over a jumper

www.ipsea.org.uk

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