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Mandapanda

Getting sleeping sorted out

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Hi

 

My youngest, Aw, has had terrible sleeping probs for more than a year and a half.

 

CAMHS suggested I drag him out of bed kicking and screaming if necessary, but I couldn't face that and felt it wasn't the right thing to do for him anyway.

 

Well... I hope I'm not tempting fate/speaking too soon, BUT, he has now slept 6 NIGHTS in a row, that is sleeping AT NIGHT when people are supposed to sleep, and being awake in the daytime!!!!! Even if this doesn't continue at least it shows (especially to him) that he can do it.

 

As a consequence he has been a much nicer person, able to concentrate, with a great sense of humour back. He also feels very proud of himself for achieving this entirely on his own (which is so valuable it is priceless), and I have told him I admire him greatly for doing this :notworthy::wub:

 

 

:robbie::robbie::robbie::clap::clap::clap:

 

 

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Fantastic - it's rare to hear of sleeping problems sorting themselves out so easily. Long may it continue! :thumbs:

 

K x

 

Thanks Kathryn

 

Though I'm not sure 'so easily' is the right description. It's been a long haul and I even had to sleep in his room for 5 months last year. We have regularly explained good sleep hygiene and the benefits of sleeping well. But at the end of the day it's mainly down to his sheer determination and perseverence at wanting to improve his situation himself.

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Update:

 

Aw lasted 10 days sleeping at night before having another night of not sleeping at all. That was Friday 25/9. He had a little sleep Saturday morning, but last night he slept again.

 

I am disappointed not to get more comments on this. I thought you guys would be there for the good times as well as the bad. This has been a real achievement for Aw/us. It hasn't just 'happened', and I would like to say that sometimes it can be very hard to trust your own instincts and go with them, regardless of what other people say. I have done this and worked hard to 'enable' my son to make the decision to sort this problem out, providing information and guidance (in a very gentle, non dictatorial way otherwise he would never have done it).

 

Our experience may give people hope that problems can be sorted out in more than the one way that the professionals seem to suggest.

 

 

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I am delighted that your ds has made such huge progress with sleep. It is a battle in my house too and have in the last couple of weeks got ds to start the night in his own bed, he is still a terrible sleeper leaving me exhausted, but we are getting there!

These achievments are not down to luck, its you working very hard to make these things happen.

I hope you feel proud of what you have enabled your child to achieve.

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Update:

 

Aw lasted 10 days sleeping at night before having another night of not sleeping at all. That was Friday 25/9. He had a little sleep Saturday morning, but last night he slept again.

 

I am disappointed not to get more comments on this. I thought you guys would be there for the good times as well as the bad. This has been a real achievement for Aw/us. It hasn't just 'happened', and I would like to say that sometimes it can be very hard to trust your own instincts and go with them, regardless of what other people say. I have done this and worked hard to 'enable' my son to make the decision to sort this problem out, providing information and guidance (in a very gentle, non dictatorial way otherwise he would never have done it).

 

Our experience may give people hope that problems can be sorted out in more than the one way that the professionals seem to suggest.

 

Mandapanda,you are so right often it is about trial and error.Yes there are so many books on 1000's of sleeping techniques but it down to the parents what is best for them.I have four boys all slept in my bed from the day they were born until their second birthday then move to a big boy bed.I did this because it was comfortable for all of us and I breastfed them all,even when I worked night shift it was easier for my husband to get them to sleep because he was always right there.It was always hard moving them to their Big Bed,longest took three weeks of constantly taking the child back to bed and lots and lots of tears from everyone!!!But we got there in the end.Lots of professionals will say my method is wrong or unhealthy but its worked for us,and I must mention neither me or my husband smoke,drink or take drugs and never slept with a heavy duvet,so we eliminated all risks really.Well done to you and your son you will both get there in the end,just remember nobody is perfect so he of course may have nights where he doesnt have good nights sleep,just keep an eye out when this happens there may be other reasons why ie.food or drink that doesnt agree with him (just a thought!)Keep up the good work or should I say sleep!

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well done!!long may it last,have daughter 13 not diagnosed yet with AS but awaiting!!! her sleep pattern is terrible ,last night she went to sleep at 6am :wallbash: so i know what you have been through ,unfortunately we can never get back straight,she was awake at 3pm this after noon,although still tired,you would think she would then go to sleep early tonight but have been here before she will still manage to go through to some unearthly hour,bad bit being because she has to be encased in her duvet she comes to wake me so i can turn lights down after she is sorted :wallbash: so to get a undisturbed night is very rare,and when she does wake me she waffles on and on about her chosen subject.doesnt matter what we try she still manages to turn night into her waking time .but although not very helpful is nice to know not the only one,i say enjoy the good nights while they are here :thumbs: because so unpredicatble,you never know it could carry on ,well done and if there is a secret to it please let me know >:D<<'>

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well done!!long may it last,have daughter 13 not diagnosed yet with AS but awaiting!!! her sleep pattern is terrible ,last night she went to sleep at 6am :wallbash: so i know what you have been through ,unfortunately we can never get back straight,she was awake at 3pm this after noon,although still tired,you would think she would then go to sleep early tonight but have been here before she will still manage to go through to some unearthly hour,bad bit being because she has to be encased in her duvet she comes to wake me so i can turn lights down after she is sorted :wallbash: so to get a undisturbed night is very rare,and when she does wake me she waffles on and on about her chosen subject.doesnt matter what we try she still manages to turn night into her waking time .but although not very helpful is nice to know not the only one,i say enjoy the good nights while they are here :thumbs: because so unpredicatble,you never know it could carry on ,well done and if there is a secret to it please let me know >:D<<'>

 

Hi jlogan1

 

You have my sympathy!! Aw used to like being pinned into bed and would call me every time he turned over and the quilt became untucked. It really is exhausting. I have found some information which may be of interest/help at the following link:

 

http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/information...leep-disorders/

 

It can't be that unusual if they have that sort of information available, whatever other people might say.

 

Does your daughter attend school? My son hasn't for a year and a half now. I think the catalyst for him trying to sort his sleeping out was as follows:

 

1. Enough time has passed without pressure to go to school for his mood to lift and for him not to feel so anxious. We have given him time and space to 'heal himself' (going against almost everyone's thoughts and opinions).

2. He turned 13 - a big thing in his mind - he's no longer a child but now a TEENAGER.

3. My eldest was starting college, and there was a lot of talk in our house and on the TV about kids going 'back to school'. For the first time this seemed to be something of an incentive to him to try something with his sleeping. Previously it had always brought him down again (he did have a major paddy one night which I believe was related, but that may also have helped in a funny sort of way because he doesn't like showing emotions and he showed major emotions that night !!).

 

I understand that some autistic children like to be awake at night because it is quiet and still, which they prefer to a potentially busy and noisy household (I understand that myself!!!) This wasn't the case with my son. He didn't want to go to school, so he didn't want to go to sleep and he didn't want to wake up in the morning. When he felt better and really did want to sleep he was very anxious about it and probably was trying too hard. I provided information for him about good sleep habits and explained that sleeping in late was stopping him getting to sleep at the right time, but it has taken a lot of time for this to sink in and for him to be able to act on it.

 

No matter what professionals say, you can't force a child to go to sleep. When you have a child like we do, it is also impossible to wake them before they are ready to wake (I'm assuming you have this trouble too), without making them angry and withdrawn (yes, my son can do both at the same time!).

 

Good luck, thinking of you >:D<<'>

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He didn't want to go to school, so he didn't want to go to sleep and he didn't want to wake up in the morning. When he felt better and really did want to sleep he was very anxious about it and probably was trying too hard.

 

 

I had the same problem with mine! He didnt sleep through the night until he was 6 or 7 years old & even then it wasnt until really late & I would often wake up to him in my bed "arghhhhhhh"

 

I agree with you about CAMHS, sometimes people think they know everything, sometimes they may be right, sometimes they havent got a clue! You are definately the best person to know your child!

 

I'm really proud of you for acheiving this, anything acheived between you as a family is definately going to help make things easier as he gets older!

 

Please dont be downhearted when you dont see many replies. Some people dont get on very often or for very long and so may not have had time to respond yet. I guess automatic reaction when you dont have time is to focus on the "crisis" posts, there are plenty of them! lol

 

It doesnt mean it goes unnoticed by any means!!

 

 

Well done to you all >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Update:

 

Aw lasted 10 days sleeping at night before having another night of not sleeping at all. That was Friday 25/9. He had a little sleep Saturday morning, but last night he slept again.

 

I realised, whilst laying awake in the middle of the night - as you do - that he actually went 16 nights (I had taken the date of my first post but he had already done 6 nights then! :oops: maths never was my strong point). Wow, even better than I realised. I'm so proud of him and relieved that this is possible!

 

 

:robbie::notworthy::thumbs::clap:

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I am very impressed mandapanda. Maybe I should get our son to read this

We have a slightly different, but equally challenging sleep problem here.

 

Our 11 yr old son will sleep beautifully for 10 hours a night, but doesn't sleep until at least 10.30pm meaning he is not ready to wake up until 8.30am.

 

He is at school, so I do wake him every school day, but let him sleep in at the weekends.

 

I feel he needs to sleep in to catch up on his sleep, but am I right? Or should I wake him at the weekends too at the same time as a school day (7.00am)?

 

I have tried every way I can think of to get him to sleep earlier, but even if he is in bed earlier, he does not sleep. To be fair, he does not make any fuss, no getting up for drinks/toilet or asking for TV. He just seems genuinly unable to sleep before 10.30pm.

 

My husband is the same, always goes to sleep late, then is tired the next morning, so do I accept this is how life is and I am destined to have 2 grumpy males every morning for ever ?

 

From choice, I would sleep from 10.00pm to 7.00am but my body clock can cope with sleeping as and when I am able, and I can get up and function OK after only a feww hours sleep.

 

Any thoughts ? Please ?

Edited by caci

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I am very impressed mandapanda. Maybe I should get our son to read this

We have a slightly different, but equally challenging sleep problem here.

 

Our 11 yr old son will sleep beautifully for 10 hours a night, but doesn't sleep until at least 10.30pm meaning he is not ready to wake up until 8.30am.

 

He is at school, so I do wake him every school day, but let him sleep in at the weekends.

 

I feel he needs to sleep in to catch up on his sleep, but am I right? Or should I wake him at the weekends too at the same time as a school day (7.00am)?

 

I have tried every way I can think of to get him to sleep earlier, but even if he is in bed earlier, he does not sleep. To be fair, he does not make any fuss, no getting up for drinks/toilet or asking for TV. He just seems genuinly unable to sleep before 10.30pm.

 

My husband is the same, always goes to sleep late, then is tired the next morning, so do I accept this is how life is and I am destined to have 2 grumpy males every morning for ever ?

 

From choice, I would sleep from 10.00pm to 7.00am but my body clock can cope with sleeping as and when I am able, and I can get up and function OK after only a feww hours sleep.

 

Any thoughts ? Please ?

 

Hi caci

 

1. If changes in routine disrupt/upset him, and if you are able to wake him at 7am and he can get up then, I would think that getting him up at the same time every day would be the best idea. He should still be getting adequate sleep. Hopefully it won't be forever :unsure: If he is getting up early every day you might find he starts to have at least one early night a week to catch up :pray:

 

2. Does he read before going to sleep (or do you/could you read him a story), or listen to an audio story tape?

 

3. Everybody is different. Me and my eldest go to sleep late and take a while to wake up in the morning. My husband goes to sleep in an instant and is awake and alert bright and early (a right pain!), and really does not understand why we can't engage in a full conversation first thing :wacko: .

 

 

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Thanks for your reply mandapanda.

 

Much as I hate the thought of setting my alarm at the weekends, I can see this might have advantages. I wonder if I could cope with not being able to catch up with my sleep? When M was much younger I was definately one of the few mums who could, and did, sleep when the baby did during the day!

 

Our home routine is so very different to school and I wonder if this helps or hinders. At home we take things much more slowly and with far less pressure to do things that are difficult. I can really see that as being an advantage to home ed, at least you can do every day at the same pace.

 

We do read at bedtime, sometimes sharing a book, and sometimes "silent reading" (he reads his book and I read mine)

 

I must admit, I usually go to sleep quite easily and once I am up that is it, I am ready to go, whereas M and my husband both takes ages to begin to function. Maybe it really is me that is different.

 

Thanks again

 

Carol

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hi mandapanda,going back up list of replies a bit,thanks for reply,and no my dd of 13 doesnt do school :wallbash: she was due to start academy aug2008,but never made it :wallbash: we did do 3 x 45 min sessions a week for a short while in their special needs unit but since return this august she has only been once :wallbash: she just cant cope with the stress and have not even got dx yet!had one of those wonderful school meetings today and didnt get very far at all,all i want is some work for her at home ,how difficult can it be.but she just sleeps through :wallbash: as soon as it gets dark she goes outside because she cant be seen and then last night she didnt get to bed til 4.45am :tearful: but of course i had to 'snuggle her in'suppose i just get used to it in the end.and as you quite rightly said you cant make them go to sleep as much as would like to :tearful: and waking up before time is nightmare ,tried the other day and got no-where! as said we have no diagnosis yet but already finding very difficult to listen to ' the professionals' ie educational psycologist,trying to tell me we must try and make her go to school,well unless youve been there and done it ,its easier said than done,if a 13 year old says not going what do you do?same with sleep patterns all these people who say do this do that ,i find just doesnt work ,especially if dd doesnt want it to work :wallbash: but sad to say it ,its just nice to hear other people in same type of situation,at least i dont feel so alone,have only been on forum couple of times but has made me a lot more relaxed about whole situation,and latest professional has said i must bring my expectations of dd down because its not going to happen,so at end of day have just got to go one day at a time and deal with things as they come,sorry will stop ranting now,hope sleeping is still going ok? >:D<<'>

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latest professional has said i must bring my expectations of dd down because its not going to happen,so at end of day have just got to go one day at a time and deal with things as they come

 

that doesn't mean things will be like this forever. ;)

 

A note of caution: a diagnosis will not in itself change how your child is, also it will not necessarily mean a 'system' will kick into action to help and support your child/you. But it may well give you the confidence to stand your ground when making requests of school/education authority etc.

 

I have a clear diagnosis of Asperger's for my eldest who is doing really quite well even though he has had almost no professional help at all, but a mish-mash half diagnosis for my youngest who has the most problems. His biggest problem is the anxiety and, in my experience, schools and even CAMHS have an even harder job understanding that than they do understanding Asperger's. :wallbash:

 

Another point is teenagers (and this can include pre-teens) really do need more sleep - although how this works with teens with asds I'm not sure as they often have probs sleeping. A lot is changing in their bodies and their minds and sleep helps this happen.

 

The tips we have encouraged our son to follow are:

 

to have a wind-down routine before bed (although we can't include a bath as he won't have one and rarely has a shower).

to not be on the computer right up till bedtime.

to read before settling down to sleep.

to eat/drink at a reasonable time, not too near bedtime.

to have the room cool, not too hot/not too cold.

to wear loose comfortable nightwear.

to have the room dark (not happening for us as he sleeps with the main light on :whistle: !)

to write down any worries on his mind.

not to watch/play anything scary in the evening (especially not involving UFOs and aliens in our case B) )

to get some exercise during the day - not near bedtime (not happening as he doesn't go out - he does run up and down stairs though :unsure:

to eat healthily (also not really happening. Every time he has an apple he feels faint and sick :sick: )

 

 

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Hi Mandapanda

 

well done you two! is he still doing well?

I have got to say you could be describing my son. he has always had sleep problems but instead of getting better his sleep pattern is getting worse, we don't sleep til about 3.00 am earliest he has anxiety problems which result in nightly panic attacks and i do think it is sleep worries/tiredness that is causing some of these panics but what to do is a different matter. we also took him out of school three years ago which as you say takes the pressure off of them and a decision we don't regret because although he still suffers awful with anxiety he doesn't have to put up with daily pressure from schooling, anyway with the time he sleeps now we wouldn't make it to school in time :rolleyes:.

anyway just wanted to say well done to you both hope it keeps going well :)

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hi mandapanda thanks for reply,yes i know diagnosis wont actually change dd,but have been told that there are a lot more doors that can be opened ,we have just got a brand new autistic unit opened locally,but have been told that cant go there or see anyone til diagnosed,but have also been told that ,makes no difference if she has traits she has triats,but will she tick enough boxes,had school meeting yesterday,bit of disaster they just dont seem to get it she cant go to school and they still talk about when she goes :wallbash: seem very reluctant to give me anywork so shes missed over a year of work,and where i have said forget about the social side and will worry about that when we can hopefully get specialist help with dx,ed psycologist says she cant do that and have to sort out getting her to school so going round in circles,and as others have said with sleep probs just not happening,last night she went to bed at 6.30am :wallbash: she reads but doesnt make her sleepy,as you have said healthy eating :tearful: whats that?,exercise well she does go walk abouts but in the dark ,she told me she went out at 6ish this morning and said it was cold but lovely out there :tearful::robbie: but have left her homework to do tonight so will see what gets done,hope your sleep plan still going well,thanks julia >:D<<'> >:D<<'> :thumbs:

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hi mandapanda thanks for reply,yes i know diagnosis wont actually change dd,but have been told that there are a lot more doors that can be opened ,we have just got a brand new autistic unit opened locally,but have been told that cant go there or see anyone til diagnosed,but have also been told that ,makes no difference if she has traits she has triats,but will she tick enough boxes,had school meeting yesterday,bit of disaster they just dont seem to get it she cant go to school and they still talk about when she goes :wallbash: seem very reluctant to give me anywork so shes missed over a year of work,and where i have said forget about the social side and will worry about that when we can hopefully get specialist help with dx,ed psycologist says she cant do that and have to sort out getting her to school so going round in circles,and as others have said with sleep probs just not happening,last night she went to bed at 6.30am :wallbash: she reads but doesnt make her sleepy,as you have said healthy eating :tearful: whats that?,exercise well she does go walk abouts but in the dark ,she told me she went out at 6ish this morning and said it was cold but lovely out there :tearful::robbie: but have left her homework to do tonight so will see what gets done,hope your sleep plan still going well,thanks julia >:D<<'> >:D<<'> :thumbs:

 

 

Hi jlogan1

 

I only just read your post. sounds like we are all going through the same sort of thing not very good for any of us but it's nice to not feel like you are not the only people awake at some ridiculous hour and feeling a bit of a failure :unsure: there are so many experts who have such simple solutions if only they were there at the time when we are all going through these problems . we have seen so many experts and they never seem to understand what is going on you would think that considering they have spent years training to do their job they would actually have an understanding of our childrens problems and not just scratch there heads and look at us parents gone out and make us feel it's our fault :wallbash:

we spent 6 years listening to the schools and ed phsycologists opinions on what would be best for our son until we all had had enough and took him out of school at least that took one big pressure off him. so ypu should definately listen to yourself on what is best for your daughter.

does she feel tired at night and is just reluctant to sleep or has she got sleep issues, as I said in reply to Mandapanda I think our son has a sleep phobia because he can be absolutley shattered but still won't sleep until at least 3.00 am and thats a good night.

why doesn't she like to go out daytime, the reason I ask is because our son hates to go out especialy where we live he is not so bad if we are at his grandparents.

we have have also been today to a private diagnosis centre to try and get him a definate diagnosis because the NHS seem so reluctant to put down on paper what the issues are.

anyway hope things work out for you both :)

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had school meeting yesterday,bit of disaster they just dont seem to get it she cant go to school and they still talk about when she goes :wallbash: seem very reluctant to give me anywork so shes missed over a year of work

 

I found school reluctant to give work as well. I suspect that if they give us work, we will be their 'problem' still. If they say son not doing anything, it is my problem!

 

Aw is still sleeping at night (unlike me :whistle: ) but he's getting later again, waking up at 11am-ish some mornings but is still better overall. He's obsessively reading all the Harry Potter books at the moment, which has put all other thoughts out of his mind :wacko:

 

biker69:

Thanks for your comments. Where/how did you find a private diagnosis centre?

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Where/how did you find a private diagnosis centre?

 

In our case we had a Solicitor doing our fighting for us & she arranged 2 seperate Psychiatrist reports, 2 Ed Psych reports (because the LEA wouldnt accept just one over the NHS Dr's), a SALT report and Occupational therapy which is how we got our diagnosis.

 

The solicitor we had was Watkins Solicitors, Bristol 0117 9390350 (Still know her number off by heart lol)

 

Her name was Beverly Watkins, although she is in Bristol I was thinking perhaps she would know of others in or near your area that aslo specialise in SEN? It was nice to have someone fighting with us thats for sure!

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I found school reluctant to give work as well. I suspect that if they give us work, we will be their 'problem' still. If they say son not doing anything, it is my problem!

 

Aw is still sleeping at night (unlike me :whistle: ) but he's getting later again, waking up at 11am-ish some mornings but is still better overall. He's obsessively reading all the Harry Potter books at the moment, which has put all other thoughts out of his mind :wacko:

 

biker69:

Thanks for your comments. Where/how did you find a private diagnosis centre?

 

Hi Mandapanda

 

sorry I didn't reply before. We went to a place in Ravenshead Nottinghamshire called Elizabeth Newson centre.

Hows your son sleeping now, still good?

biker69

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Hows your son sleeping now, still good?

biker69

 

Hi biker69

 

Aw is sleeping much better overall. He's only had one night where he hasn't slept at all. He is sleeping in till about 11am some mornings, but it is not because he hasn't slept till 3am like before. Many mornings he is awake before this. It's such a relief. He finished the last Harry Potter book last night. He's read all 7 in about 2 1/2 weeks. He couldn't have concentrated to do this when he wasn't sleeping well. He used to say he was bored a lot, but that's because he couldn't concentrate and get involved in things. He said he's going to read Lord of the Rings next. I've tried many times to read that but never finished, so it will be interesting to see how he gets on with it.

 

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Hi biker69

 

Aw is sleeping much better overall. He's only had one night where he hasn't slept at all. He is sleeping in till about 11am some mornings, but it is not because he hasn't slept till 3am like before. Many mornings he is awake before this. It's such a relief. He finished the last Harry Potter book last night. He's read all 7 in about 2 1/2 weeks. He couldn't have concentrated to do this when he wasn't sleeping well. He used to say he was bored a lot, but that's because he couldn't concentrate and get involved in things. He said he's going to read Lord of the Rings next. I've tried many times to read that but never finished, so it will be interesting to see how he gets on with it.

 

 

Hi Mandapanda

 

that is some reading, good luck with the next book.

our son sleeps in till about 11 ish as well but it doesn't make any difference if he gets up early he still doesn't sleep, we had a night last night of no sleep till 6.30 am so hoping tonight he might be a bit more tired. whatever you and your son have done to work it out we could do with the same here, oh well here goes another sleepless night :rolleyes:

biker69

 

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glad still going well,spare a thought for me though dd didnt wake til 7pm last night and has been up all night,and of course has to keep coming to wake me and give me updates on the news and twilight etc :tearful: expect her to stay awake til mid morning now :wallbash: has completley turned night to day :wallbash: any ideas? >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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glad still going well,spare a thought for me though dd didnt wake til 7pm last night and has been up all night,and of course has to keep coming to wake me and give me updates on the news and twilight etc :tearful: expect her to stay awake til mid morning now :wallbash: has completley turned night to day :wallbash: any ideas? >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Aw was still asleep when I got home at 1pm yesterday! That is the first time for quite a while. I think he had woken earlier and then gone back to sleep. Probably tired out after all that reading! Hopefully it will just be a one-off catch up sleep.

 

I'd offer advice but no doubt like we had, you've probably tried everything. The thing that made a difference for us was him deciding he wanted to sort it out and setting his mind to it. He did the same thing a few years ago with getting dry at night. You can't really make that happen to someone, can you?

 

I've been reading up about sleep disorders (Jsmum suggested my son might have insomnia), and this could explain all the 'symptoms' he has had, even down to problems with his ears when they cannot find any problems. So I don't know if the anxiety/depression caused the sleeping problems or the sleeping probs caused the other things. It's all a bit academic though cos he wouldn't take any medicine for it anyway.

 

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oh well dd of 13 has now gone to bed,after row over homework not being done,all i asked was 10 mins of her time ,shes been up all night and keeps saying she will do it but doesnt so big row and now shes gone for sleep :wallbash::wallbash: going to be one of those days again :tearful: but glad your sleeping plan still going well :thumbs: mind you she did eventually bring the last weeks worth of plates out of her room so i suppose thats one small step for the day! :robbie: how all stays well regards julia

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Downdate: (well UPdate sounds like something good :whistle: )

 

Aw had a cold last week and his sleeping has gone back to how it was before. He's waking up at about 1pm mostly.

 

I hope he will get back in a good routine again - he's done it once, so....... :pray:

 

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Downdate: (well UPdate sounds like something good :whistle: )

 

Aw had a cold last week and his sleeping has gone back to how it was before. He's waking up at about 1pm mostly.

 

I hope he will get back in a good routine again - he's done it once, so....... :pray:

 

 

oh dear Mandapanda

 

thats a shame it doesn't take much to disrupt the sleep pattern again does it. My son is still not sleeping and he had a sore throat the other night so of course that meant even later to get to sleep. :crying:

you never know your boy might get back into the good routine when he is feeling better :)

biker69

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Hi

 

We told Aw last night that we were deregistering him from school to home educate him. Interestingly, he settled down to try to sleep when we went to bed - not sure if this was connected or coincidental !!

 

I am quite hopeful that taking this last bit of pressure off him will have a positive effect on him overall.

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hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight :wallbash: but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck :wallbash: and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day :wallbash: and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too :wallbash: any way just wondered on your views,regards julia

by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it.

must really post as newbie cos didnt do that :rolleyes: good luck >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight :wallbash: but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck :wallbash: and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day :wallbash: and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too :wallbash: any way just wondered on your views,regards julia

by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it.

must really post as newbie cos didnt do that :rolleyes: good luck >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Hi

 

We told Aw last night that we were deregistering him from school to home educate him. Interestingly, he settled down to try to sleep when we went to bed - not sure if this was connected or coincidental !!

 

I am quite hopeful that taking this last bit of pressure off him will have a positive effect on him overall.

 

 

Hi Mandapanda

 

hows your son getting on now, is he happier now he knows that you are taking him out of school completly?

We took our boy out three years ago and we are all happy that we decided to and have had no regrets, it hasn't solved everything he is still having major panic attacks nightly :tearful: he still has a lot of emotional damage caused by he's experiences at school so what he would have been like if we hadn't took him I hate to think.

anyway good luck with your decision :rolleyes:

biker69

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hi mandapanda interesting post my dd 13 sounds much like yours ie sleep pattern etc and funnily enough i was thinking about deregistering her to home educate,my biggest problem being that she just wont do any homework the school set ,basically she just wont do anything unless its twilight :wallbash: but what worried me was then i get no help? or do i just wondered if you have any info as to where to get help from with this,big concern being if i were to deregister and then she still wont do work i'm really stuck :wallbash: and wouldnt know where to turn,shes not been at school for 18 months and although last term did 3 x 45 min sessions this hasnt worked this term and she has only been once,and ( up here we are on half term) although i asked school for work i didnt get any til the last day :wallbash: and then not much.but i admit when i told her she didnt need to go to school last term she did settle more,as you have found coincidence or not? who knows.but she had said she would work at home but when i got work still cant get her to do it ,and now difficult cos to siblings on their hols so she thinks it must be her hols too :wallbash: any way just wondered on your views,regards julia

by way dd is 13 and awaiting diagnosis( although she is in denial) and wont discuss it.

must really post as newbie cos didnt do that :rolleyes: good luck >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Hi jlogan1

 

since we took our son out of school we have had no help whatsoever but it is still a better situation than him being at school and not getting any help there, all we ever got then was a very sad boy and useless teachers and 'professionals' promising all sorts and giving nothing :angry:.

Has your daughter got a SEN and what diagnosis are you expecting because what we found out later was if there is an SEN in place and they are on the Autistic spectrum it is possible to access Autism outreach even if you Home educate, and as far as I know you could get a tutor sent to your home, it is worth trying to find more out about this. Please don't hold me to this it is only what I have been told and it seems like everything else you have to make a lot of noise to get it.

As for getting them to do any work we find this very difficult and like your daughter our son is more happy to work at strange times of the night which is ok if you are able to do that. We don't work on a school style of learning we work mainly on life skills and stuff that he is interested in :rolleyes:

We do get visits off the LEA man but you don't have to, I don't mind this and he is a nice bloke and gives us advice which we can take or leave.

Anyway good luck :rolleyes:

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hi biker 69

thanks for advise,well the problem is i dont really know what is happening,no one has said she has a SEN although up in scotland its called anIEP i think,but we have meetings at school and ed psycologist and clinical phycologist saying that ed phy hasnt seen her since summer 2008 and is due to do a report for paedriatrician,but how i dont know how :tearful: we do have a very helpful advise centre and when i mentioned to them about home ed they were a bit wary about de registering dd,so may just go down the route of trying to home ed and if the school bother to do anything then let them,although when its taken them 8 weeks to just give us some work to do at home i dont hold out much hope :wallbash:

but the advise centre did give me some info on who i can contact at the council so after half term ( can you believe they get 3 weeks nearly up here)i will contact then to see what i can find out ,much like youself i think it would have to be mainly life skills etc because she is just not interested in school work :wallbash:

with regards to a diagnosis the ed phy has said she thinks on autistic spectrum and it was her that said aspergers because of her waying of thinking etc this was about 5 months ago and the more i read the more it is dd,so what im hopeing is if we can get diagnosis then we can go to get help from the people that deal with that becasue weve been told without it we are unable to go to aspergers clinics etc :wallbash: but with regards to getting diagnosis ,how longs a piece of string?so have just got to battle through til then.

we will see how things go after hols!!!

sorry to steal thread mandapanda and hope sleep is still going to plan,we are slowly going backwards it was 4 am this morning before she turned in :wallbash: how are you doing? >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Hi

 

No probs about thread being 'stolen'. It's all interesting and hopefully helps us all in one way or another.

 

Sleeping is back to square one unfortunately, since he had a cold. Also he has stopped reading and is on the computer more and this does appear to have an effect on him, making it more difficult for him to sleep, which we have talked through with him.

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congratulations :thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:

my dd has been sleeping nights for nearly a week too :thumbs: perhaps its the time of year!

how is home ed going?

regards julia x

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congratulations :thumbs::thumbs::thumbs:

my dd has been sleeping nights for nearly a week too :thumbs: perhaps its the time of year!

how is home ed going?

regards julia x

Hi Julia

 

Wow, well done - yes maybe darker for longer = more sleepy? I'm the one not sleeping again now :wallbash:

 

See my other thread for home ed update.

 

Best wishes

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Update:

 

Aw's sleeping has settled into a pretty good routine now. As a result, he is happier, eating more regularly, and is much nicer to have around.

 

I just hope Christmas doesn't spoil the routine, due to all the excitement!!

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