When AS is not AS

[steve123]

Having just gone through the assessments for Aspergers I thought that I would share my experiences with you.

 

My ex-partner was convinced that I had the condition, and in time it was something that I came to accept. I was doing involuntary stuff such as repeating her words on occasion, problems with eye contact, felt awkward in social situations, had mounting anxiety, would have problems with communication that got progressively worse, I would fixate on this condition I believed I had, so it seemed pretty much an open and shut case.

 

When these traits were highlighted it would have something of a snowball effect as my anxiety would increase.... the traits felt as though they flowed through the anxiety, these drove my ex nuts on many occasion, and thus it became self perpetuating to the point where I honestly had problems operating and had become a nervous wreck.

 

That said these problems would not be there permanently and seemed to only rear their ugly head when I was with Emma. Outside of the relationship I could function and communicate without any problem and could talk to anyone without a sign of it.

 

I know it caused lots of problems and eventually led to things ending on bad terms which I regret. When Emma tried to shift the relationship into a friendship, I took it bad, I felt as though I was being strung along and rejected at the same time which caused me both to do and say some things that I shouldn't have.

 

So there I am, I did the quotient test which gave an indication that I didn't have Aspergers which was later confirmed by the Disco assessment..... so what did I have? On reading a paper it was there in black and white, a condition that could be mistaken for Aspergers that matched what I felt and was an anxiety based condition. All the boxes were ticked.

 

The condition is called Love Shyness, which is an unfortunate name, but here is the article:

 

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c104/telso/443552.jpg

 

I had felt like this in a previous relationships, but nowhere to the same degree, so it would appear that the cruel twist in this anxiety condition is the more you like someone the more likely you are to exhibit what could be AS like behaviour.

 

However in at least knowing what I have I am able to tackle it if it crops up again, I am taking some super strength herbal tablets which have ironed out my nerves, am relatively back to my old self and am about to start a new job which will help me realise my dreams.

 

We both helped one another, I held her up when things got bad with her depression, stopped her doing a runner when the pressure of her degree mounted and made sure she realised her plan of becoming a mental health nurse. In return I spent time with a wonderful warm and loving woman who helped to influence and set my mind in the right direction with regard to many things including work, my living situation and so forth.

 

Post relationship i've tried to keep a line of communication open, I really valued knowing her but things appear to have irretrievably broken down to the point where there appears to be no route back.

 

I just wish that we had met at a different time and under different circumstances.

[fogz]

cheers for sharing that steve123

 

hope u are doing well and finding answers for your situation

 

what were the herbal tablets u have been using?

 

cheers,

fogz

 

p.s. hopefully someone more knowledgable than me can offer you a bit more advice here

[Felicity]

Wow that's strange. But good news, if you grow to love the single life.

 

I've had 'brief encounters' with people before, as a girl I'm lucky in the sense it doesn't take much other than the question to get a guy into bed! I previously thought I could get my confidence and self- esteem this way, but at 20 I'm starting to feel so empty. Think I really need a relationship. My sister says it'll 'calm me down'. I just hope I don't encounter my aspergers in a full blown form. I want a relationship but feel like it would be so impossible. It's what defines me more than anything else, the fact I find it so difficult to deal with the concept of a relationship.

 

I find older, dominant guys easier to imagine being in a relationship with - as they tell you what to do and treat shyness as submissiveness. They've treated my 'not having a clue' as naivety. For guys I imagine it's so hard as you're expected to lead a little?

 

Are you like it with really close friends? I find it a different matter with these...

[steve123]

Thats OK, thought I should raise this here as the information might be useful to others.

 

The herbal tablets which I have been taking are called Aconite, they are available in the likes of Holland & Barratt or you can get them on prescription. The normal strength is 30c, but i'm on the prescribed 200c strength which I take one a day of and that chills me out big time.

 

My ex was in the process of completing a mental health nursing degree and had worked with plenty of people with autism and aspergers so I thought her diagnosis was solid, that said I had always expressed that I felt the traits flowed from the anxiety and were not always present. It upset her when I mentioned that I only felt like it round her, so this was not raised much, but essentially that was the case.

 

What were considered my traits rose after being badgered alot about about what Emma thought was AS and my fixation on the condition; your doing it, your doing it again, something has to change, stop repeating me, your anxiety is too much.... I think highlighting it just made things worse. Though I loved her to bits, it does make me wonder how things would have panned out with someone who was positive and didn't highlight it as much.

 

At least I now know that cognative behavioural therapy is the answer if it crops up again. That said at present I am single so there is no need for it right now, if anything I need time to heal as it's not everyday you propose to someone then have them exit your life.

 

I am somewhat older in life now, 36, so am a little bit more knowledgeable about life and everything. A lot about dating is being self confident (not arrogant), just being yourself, and not trying too hard - especially from the male perspective that can come across as being desparate which is like garlic to a vampire when it concerns women.

Edited October 13, 2009 by steve123

[Vanna]

Hi Steve,

At this point I am not officially dx'ed AS but all the signs are pointing there. My husband does similar but maybe not to the extent " you're doing it again you said you would watch that one" etc, and the nagging just makes it worse, right? well It does me.

Good luck on your self-discovery quest ...

 

ttfn

Vanna

[flyingladybird]

Interesting.

suppose if someone is giving you a false diagnosis, then that's Münchausen by proxy..

x

 

[Tally]

Interesting.

suppose if someone is giving you a false diagnosis, then that's Münchausen by proxy..

x

 

I think that would be very rare. Munchausens by Proxy is supposed to be about someone getting something they want (for example, attention) because someone in their care is sick. A doctor would not really gain anything by claiming to have a patient with Asperger's.

 

There are many reasons why a doctor might give a false diagnosis. The may do it to placate the patient for an easy life. They might make a mistake.

[flyingladybird]

hi, my response was to do with the following comment in OT.

 

sorry for the misunderstanding xx

 

My ex-partner was convinced that I had the condition, and in time it was something that I came to accept.