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kids and facebook

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I've always avoided facebook etc myself so have no idea how they work...

Son (12) asked this morning if he can join, as his best friend has a facebook account and some of the other kids from his previous school.

So how do other parents handle it? Is there a 'junior facebook' or are there settings I can use to control who can view his profile etc?

Should i open the account 'for' him and have access to it myself? Does he need an adult to approve his application, and if so does the adult have to have an account too?

Am I worrying over nothing?

 

:unsure:

 

 

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Facebook rules are over 13, so you would have to give parental permission for him to join at 12

 

It is not really possible to open the accont for him - it is either yours or his, but you can insist that you have the password and check on his settings. If you set up your own account and make friends with him, you can check out his personal page anytime. there are loads of security settings you can use to make sure only "friends" see his profile etc. My page is closed to anyone except people I am friends with, and even then, some friends can only see some bits of it :whistle: Open settings mean anyone in the whole www can see anythinga nd everythng, from photo's to messages!

 

On the whole f/b is not anything much to worry about - no more than any other social thing I s'pose. Bullyng and nastyness can happen, and are well documented in the media, but that is true of any communication. Mostly, kids just write inane rubbish, play the most ridiculous games and maybe post some photos/youtube videos for a laugh.

 

I would be happy with a 12 year old using it - under adult supervision, but that goes for all internet access imo.

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If he is competent with a comuter and can type and all that it is actually a great communication tool, its also great to share photos and keep others updated, I use facebook and really like it, you can also pm friends so its private like here, so you dont have to write on their WALL, I have a feeling your lad already knows not to divulge private information like address ect..... and never to meet anyone without you know who and all the security stuff.

 

You can also delete freinds too so it stops any further communication and you only except friends you want and they have to be invited first, same vice versa.

 

You can also hide your information to certain audiences.

 

I feel that 12 is oright an age too, and its amazing he has this oportunity I remember the massive mobile phones and cassette walkmans that was like a brick, its truely amazing whe tweenkids have access to now and Id take advantage of that as long as he is sensible and it is regularly supervised.

 

JsMumxxxx

 

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I thought nobody under 13 could join?

 

I've told my son (also 12) that that's the rule and he can't join till then.

 

K x

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Thanks for the feedback :thumbs:

... I don't really think it's fair of me to make him wait almost a year to catch up with his mates (downside of August Birthday - his best friend was 13 3 weeks after he was 12 :() but I can use the fact that FB asks for parental consent to justify monitoring his account. Not that he would mind, and I do trust HIM, but I'm also aware that there are some pretty weird peeps floating about out there, that his naivity makes him vulnerable and that some of his 'friends of friends' from school are less than ideal as role models.

I'll have a lookee at how to set him up with a 'safe' account (he's already said he only wants his friends he knows to see him anyway) in the half term.

Cheers

 

BD :D

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one thing to be aware of is that most of the most popular game applications encourage you to have an ever-increasing number of neighbours/friends/mafia members (dont ask!). the fastest way for someone to do this is to add random people as friends and if you get hooked into the games its a very tempting idea for someone who has very few actual friends on facebook. perhaps put in the ground rule that you approve all his friends on there and check every now and again.

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my boy is on facebook, hes 14 though.e does,nt use it that much but it is nice for him to keep in touch with people as he is at an out of area school.I,m on facebook too and have him as a friend so I can keep an eye on him etc.Good luck with it Ben :thumbs:

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There are privacy settings which can be very stringent. You can even stop your profile coming up if someone searches for you by name. Close monitoring sounds sensible, because there are some weirdoes out there!

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My son hasn't really shown an interest in Facebook yet, but he and a lot of his friends are on Adventure Quest Worlds. It's a family friendly fantasy role playing game which also has a well regulated chat facility, so it's quite social as well. Slightly off topic - but I thought I'd mention it as it might appeal to youngsters who like this kind of game and are looking to meet people of similar age in a safe environment.

 

K x

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My son wants to join Facebook as some of his 10 year old mates have it but ive said no...if the age is 13 then 13 he will be before he has it.

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I think it's OK, provided you're stringent with the security settings - it would probably be worth working through things with him initially however competent he is, because you also get all sorts of things like "allow this application to access personal settings..." or "Allow access to email account and address book..." and I've found some things (irresponsibly) use double negatives and rewrite things in different ways to try and encourage you to accidentally choose the wrong setting.

 

one thing to be aware of is that most of the most popular game applications encourage you to have an ever-increasing number of neighbours/friends/mafia members (dont ask!). the fastest way for someone to do this is to add random people as friends and if you get hooked into the games its a very tempting idea for someone who has very few actual friends on facebook. perhaps put in the ground rule that you approve all his friends on there and check every now and again.

This used to be a problem but is supposed to no longer be allowed, and all quizzes, games etc. should have a button by the side of the panel that asks you to select friends saying 'skip this'. There are good procedures in place to report apps that don't adhere to such rules.

 

The other thing to remember is that people can be blocked and this is a useful feature as otherwise you can get things popping up saying some quite horrible stuff because someone else has completed a 'rate other people' (remember anyone can construct such quizzes - often kids who really don't understand the implications (or spelling/grammar rules... :shame:)) quiz (even if that person is not a Facebook friend). I found this quite distressing because I couldn't understand how people were being able to influence things coming up on my profile still, but through blocking anyone you have any concerns about potential influences on your son (the friends of friends) you can remove this threat.

 

For a bit of fun, try changing the default language from English<UK> to English<Pirate>. :)

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Setting up your own account so that you can become a friend of his is a good idea, it's what i did with my DD, as i was also never bothered with FB myself and therefore had no idea what actually went on, so was prone to imagining all sorts..... You don't have to actually do anything, you can just have a blank page.

 

Be warned though - i now have a profile, photos, comments etc etc, all courtesy of her, and her friends who became my friends too :lol: .

 

I actually now think that it can be a really nice way for them to keep in touch (with the usual supervision/guidance of course). She also goes to an out of area school, so doesnt see her friends as much as she otherwise would. To be honest, i think for her it is no different to the way i would have been on the phone to someone i had just spent the day at school or an evening out with, at that age.

 

As regards internet dangers, i would rather she did all this whilst young, under my supervision etc, rather than me trying to shield her from it for as long as possible (tempting as that is!), and her being more out of her depth at an age when she is less likely to listen to me, if you see what i mean.

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Baddad

 

I have a facebook account and it seems to be a wee bit easier to control than other sites.

My partner has an account too and even though I have him on my page only those he is friends with can see any comments he makes on my page.

the privacy settings are really good for deciding who can see what.

I have another internet page that my daughter wanted and I went onto it for the purpose of monitoring her page.........she hardly bothers with it, and I love it.

I think they are great tools if used properly.

Me and my sisters and partner and the children all compete on certain games and it really suits us.

Good Luck with it, the funny thing is I am not into computer games but love the way the online games work with keeping us all in touch with each other.

If my sister is up late through the night it makes me chuckle to see her beating my score and then If I am stuck I cheat........(yes I do ) and get my daughter to beat her score for me which makes us all laugh:D

 

It has helped build a stronger relationship between my daughter and my sister.

 

N x

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J [13] and mate [13] were somewhat amused by my interest.

''Why dyou want to know about it.......thinking of joining........ :lol::lol::lol: ''

They say it is relatively safe and you can decide whether to decline friend requests.

Everyone is doing it apparently innit. :whistle::whistle::whistle::whistle:

Ben is not into facebook yet.He does enjoy CBBC message board where he has a blogg apparently. :D

It is very well moderated.

Ben has also used wrong planet which has a younger member section.Although it is not free of unpleasant exchanges at times.

Karen.

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''Why dyou want to know about it.......thinking of joining........ :lol::lol::lol: ''

Quoted smilies!! :lol: Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that! :thumbs: :thumbs:

 

And Nic M, cheating, shame on you... :shame: :shame: :lol: (I'm joking :))

 

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This used to be a problem but is supposed to no longer be allowed, and all quizzes, games etc. should have a button by the side of the panel that asks you to select friends saying 'skip this'. There are good procedures in place to report apps that don't adhere to such rules.

they dont explicitly say you must have more friends to do anything. but for example in the mafia one, the bigger your mafia the more money you can get, the more fights you win etc. in the farming ones you can only get a bigger farm by having X number of neighbours. sneaky people!

 

i love having my language set to pirate, it always makes me happy when i'm having a grumpy day.

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Mumble

 

Its the best thing about it for me I love knowing my sister will be harumphing about me at the top of the leader board, then she calls me to ask how I did it ............and I have to say wait till I ask your Niece lol.

 

N x

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