Nat and me saying Hi

[Nats mum]

Hi

Well um, I am nathaniels mum. He is 7 and has ASD + Pragmatic semantic speech disorder and was diagnosed age 3 statemented at 5 and he dgoes to a special needs school.

I am no spring chicken at the grand old age of 47 but I was recently diagnosed Aspergers.

 

Am hoping that now I know what I am and why I am the way I am, I can find help on the forum, and make myself a life.

I have pretty much shut myself off from the world and live on a remote farm. I just could not cope with the human race. Now I know why! Hopeing to find a friend or someone to chat to who can hopefully understand what i am saying and not take things the wrong way?

 

Friends is something I do not have, am scared to have and well.. this is a first and very nervous step.

 

Thanks for reading

 

I am also happy to answer any questions If I can.

 

[Mumble]

Hi Nat's Mum and welcome to the forum

 

There's a few parents here who got a dx after their child so I'm sure there will be some people along who can help/understand/relate to those issues. I'm not a parent myself but I can relate to the lack of friends and the nervousness joining in here. Hopefully you will see that we are a friendly and supportive bunch (despite/because of differing views ) and you'll be able to make some virtual friends with us. Don't worry about things being taken the wrong way - generally we're understanding of difficulties we each have and support one another.

 

A remote farm sounds lovely BTW - do you have space for a small bouncy penguin? :lol:

 

[JsMum]

 

Hello Nats mum,

 

Welcome, and well done for taking the courage to take your first steps here, its not that bad is it, I am sure there will be other parents who have gone throw similair journey to yourself, and the reliefe and upset that a dx of AS brings, but hopefully with a positive future ahead now you have an understanding of AS.

 

My son is 12 and has co morbids and ASD.

 

Nice to meet you.

 

JsMumxxxxx

 

[Teresa]

Hi Nat's Mum welcome to the forum.

 

Teresa

[NickyB]

Hello Nat's Mum welcome to the forum <'>

 

 

[Kathryn]

Hello Nat's mum - welcome to the forum.

 

K x

[smiley1590]

heya

 

you say you don't have any friends is this due to anxiety related situation??? at least you can personally understand where your son is 'our world' you have an 'advantage' ( if you can call it that!) maybe not the right word but gives you both ASD foundation to base things on to begin with bet your glad to recieve your official diagnosis bet stuff adds up now and makes sense builds a bigger picture that hidden in background before! have you always felt somewhat different to others growing up? and couldn't explain into words exactly why it happened and you got into situations? you can support and help eachother through ASD problems you face!

 

i'd get support and help for you and him through NAS :

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/contact/email

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=2150

 

 

take care

good luck

 

XKLX

[Nats mum]

heya

 

you say you don't have any friends is this due to anxiety related situation??? at least you can personally understand where your son is 'our world' you have an 'advantage' ( if you can call it that!) maybe not the right word but gives you both ASD foundation to base things on to begin with bet your glad to recieve your official diagnosis bet stuff adds up now and makes sense builds a bigger picture that hidden in background before! have you always felt somewhat different to others growing up? and couldn't explain into words exactly why it happened and you got into situations? you can support and help eachother through ASD problems you face!

 

i'd get support and help for you and him through NAS :

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/contact/email

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=2150

 

 

take care

good luck

 

XKLX

Thank so much for taking teh time to reply.

 

The friends thing is long and drawn out, a combination of me being taken advantage of a LOT and feeling that I was so stupid not to notice what was happening. I have always felt like I must be an alien living on a weird planet as no one could speak MY language, or was it I couldnt speak theirs?

It wasnt until i went on Earlybird + course, that I realised everything they were saying made sense to me, comlete sense. I honestly could not see things from the outside world perspective. My son and I are very close and people often comment how do I have such a close working rappor with him, well now I know, because we both think and act the same. So it is uch easier for me to identify why he is upset and put it right.

his father is the one that hurts us the most. We are both "FREAKS". he always said that there was something wrong with me, that I needed help, i was mentaly unstable and needed locking up. He constantly ran me down adn made me feel like I reallyw as mad, or crazy, certainly no good to be seen in society. I trusted him, he betrayed and used me. They call it psychologically abused.

It has left me untrusting of the world.

I just hope that now I can start to live.

It has been a 5 year battle with doctors. Visiting mental health clinics and to be told consistantly I was NOT mad and quite stable. That helped but it didnt answer my question what WAS wrong with me. For anyone out tehre looking to get your diagnosis, it is NOT easy but dig in and stand your ground and you will be heard..eventually.

 

I am just now reeling in a way, a part of me is breathing a sigh of relief I know what is wrng with me, and a part of me is devastated that i am not normal and now it is official.

I guess its just down to one day at a time at the moment and let things sink in. At least right now my entire life does make sense. the way i am, the way I think, my quirky habits and strange routines. Yes it is lovely that I can see the pattern is right and why it is.. I hope you can understand what I mean by pattern? Its something like a lot of things, I have no words for But at least now, I understand why.

 

Thanks for the links BTW, I joined and have the cards for my son, Essential in many situations!

[Nats mum]

Hello Nats mum,

 

Welcome, and well done for taking the courage to take your first steps here, its not that bad is it, I am sure there will be other parents who have gone throw similair journey to yourself, and the reliefe and upset that a dx of AS brings, but hopefully with a positive future ahead now you have an understanding of AS.

 

My son is 12 and has co morbids and ASD.

 

Nice to meet you.

 

JsMumxxxxx

Thank you s much. It is quite scary. and it took a bit of worry, but then I never do anything new and/or different very easily.

All these replies. I do not know what to do? Thanks everyone for thinking of me and taking the time to post

[justine1]

Thank so much for taking teh time to reply.

 

The friends thing is long and drawn out, a combination of me being taken advantage of a LOT and feeling that I was so stupid not to notice what was happening. I have always felt like I must be an alien living on a weird planet as no one could speak MY language, or was it I couldnt speak theirs?

It wasnt until i went on Earlybird + course, that I realised everything they were saying made sense to me, comlete sense. I honestly could not see things from the outside world perspective. My son and I are very close and people often comment how do I have such a close working rappor with him, well now I know, because we both think and act the same. So it is uch easier for me to identify why he is upset and put it right.

his father is the one that hurts us the most. We are both "FREAKS". he always said that there was something wrong with me, that I needed help, i was mentaly unstable and needed locking up. He constantly ran me down adn made me feel like I reallyw as mad, or crazy, certainly no good to be seen in society. I trusted him, he betrayed and used me. They call it psychologically abused.

It has left me untrusting of the world.

I just hope that now I can start to live.

It has been a 5 year battle with doctors. Visiting mental health clinics and to be told consistantly I was NOT mad and quite stable. That helped but it didnt answer my question what WAS wrong with me. For anyone out tehre looking to get your diagnosis, it is NOT easy but dig in and stand your ground and you will be heard..eventally.

 

I am just now reeling in a way, a part of me is breathing a sigh of relief I know what is wrng with me, and a part of me is devastated that i am not normal and now it is official.

I guess its just down to one day at a time at the moment and let things sink in. At least right now my entire life does make sense. the way i am, the way I think, my quirky habits and strange routines. Yes it is lovely that I can see the pattern is right and why it is.. I hope you can understand what I mean by pattern? Its something like a lot of things, I have no words for But at least now, I understand why.

 

Thanks for the links BTW, I joined and have the cards for my son, Essential in many situations!

 

 

Hi there

I have just read your post and surprised to see how similar your story is to my own.I also never had friends and even today,I always seem to link on to one person assume they are my best friend and dont bother talking much to anyone else,I have also been taken advantage of.I left my husband last year he to was phscologically abusive.I have four boys my 6 yr old Sam has AS and suspect my three yr old has.I really believe I have it after reading so much but I am reluctant for personal reasons to seek advice.Anyway the GPs all believe my ex has AS because of his controlling behaviour,living in his own world and he refuses to accept the boys have problems,he thinks people want to ruin his kids.Welcome to the group I know exactly how you feel and think you are great mum for getting help for you and your son. <'>

Edited November 9, 2009 by justine1

[julie1]

hi and welcome. I have found this site warm and careing i hope you enjoy it as well. You live in my idea of paridise. my children often ask if we could live ina house, in a field with no neighbours. shame we cannot afford that, but i did offer them a tent. Anyway welcome

[trekster]

Welcome Nats mum

 

Im an asperger with other stuff and have to force myself to go out sometimes. im relieved i have home support as it makes it easier to stay in contact with the outside world. Also i meet my mentor in a RL situation a pub that's busy and sometimes noisy but we move tables when the background overload gets too much.

 

Im going to the Bath big care debate tomorrow. It's a roadshow run by the government, im going to demand answers for those without home support who still struggle at home due to being "ignored or ineligible" (NAS report 2001). http://careandsupport.direct.gov.uk/bath/ for the website to find out more.

 

Im single and live in my housing association flat under a shared ownership scheme. i like it here but im trying to cope with getting used to the fact that my neighbour is going to die soon and be replaced by a new neighbour. Im hoping this new person isnt a bully like the last one.

 

Alexis

[trekster]

Justine my mum refuses to try and get a diagnosis as she wont accept she could be AS. Last night whilst i was staying around at her house she walked into my room without knocking and started talking to me when i was under the covers in my bed lying down. If thats not AS behaviour i don't know what is?

 

Seems to be unfortunately common for domestic abuse (including the hidden mental and psychological types) is rife in autistic families. My dad was a nasty asperger who had to be worshipped no matter what he said. He was an alcoholic and very mentally abusive to all of us. He ran my mum down in front of us and she is starting to exhibit some of his behaviour when she drinks. i just dont know what to do as his behaviour still affects our family 11 years after hes died

 

i think the word you are looking for Nats Mum is "a connection" you have formed a connection with your son due to both being autistic. In some ways i have a similar connection with mine due to our shared autism.

 

Alexis

[Nats mum]

Hi there

I have just read your post and surprised to see how similar your story is to my own.I also never had friends and even today,I always seem to link on to one person assume they are my best friend and dont bother talking much to anyone else,I have also been taken advantage of.I left my husband last year he to was phscologically abusive.I have four boys my 6 yr old Sam has AS and suspect my three yr old has.I really believe I have it after reading so much but I am reluctant for personal reasons to seek advice.Anyway the GPs all believe my ex has AS because of his controlling behaviour,living in his own world and he refuses to accept the boys have problems,he thinks people want to ruin his kids.Welcome to the group I know exactly how you feel and think you are great mum for getting help for you and your son. <'>

 

Thanks so much for replying. yes I see so many similarities. Its all these similarities which one way scared me and another way made me go down the route to get my diagni=osis brought up to date.

Like you I was so scared. I was so sure my X was right and I was just mad. Taking the bit between my teeth I began the battle and yes is was a battle to get my diagnosis. From them saying i was too old, or there was no one who could tell them what i was like or there were no records froms chool, to going to see mental specialists and being told there is nothing mentally wrong with me, but that they do not cover autism so they could not comment.

In the end I contact edautistic society who gave me instructuions how to approach my gp and what to do if he will not listen and to get a second oppinion. So I practically had to take my GP toa tribunal.

The end result was to finally get to speak to a professional who gave me my diagnosis there and then.

From then it was like a huge rock had lifted, my eyes wereopened and I felt I could NOW start to live my life.

 

So please do not be put off, there are no bad repercussions. Youc an keep the diagnosis to yourself if youw anted to but trust me you will feel much the better for knowing

[Nats mum]

hi and welcome. I have found this site warm and careing i hope you enjoy it as well. You live in my idea of paridise. my children often ask if we could live ina house, in a field with no neighbours. shame we cannot afford that, but i did offer them a tent. Anyway welcome

Hmm theres a thought? I wonder how many people would like to have aholiday but need familiar surroundings like I do so ar eafraid of going on holiday. I could let people stay in the 2 acre paddock and camp, they would be safe and secure and as we are all in the same boat (farm) we could understand what was needed.

For those coming by train or bus I am happy to meet them at the local station to ensure safe passage to the farm

 

This is a big house with just me and my son and the farm worker in his caravan, so meet and greets woud be welcome

 

Oh and for those of you who play WoW, i am a big fan so a WoW party would be great and we can all hitch up our pc's and laptops and go play WoW !

 

I might post this on one of the other forums?

[Nats mum]

Welcome Nats mum

 

Im an asperger with other stuff and have to force myself to go out sometimes. im relieved i have home support as it makes it easier to stay in contact with the outside world. Also i meet my mentor in a RL situation a pub that's busy and sometimes noisy but we move tables when the background overload gets too much.

 

Im going to the Bath big care debate tomorrow. It's a roadshow run by the government, im going to demand answers for those without home support who still struggle at home due to being "ignored or ineligible" (NAS report 2001). http://careandsupport.direct.gov.uk/bath/ for the website to find out more.

 

Im single and live in my housing association flat under a shared ownership scheme. i like it here but im trying to cope with getting used to the fact that my neighbour is going to die soon and be replaced by a new neighbour. Im hoping this new person isnt a bully like the last one.

 

Alexis

I know where you are coming from re help. It seems if my son sneezes someone reports me to childrens services. it stresses me out, totally ruins my and my sons routines and causes so much stress to me I get physically sick. Each time I am cleared and no one has ever said I do anything bad t my son. BUT no one can get any serives to HELP ME. seems it doesnt exist! or feels that way.

 

Good luck at the conferance.

 

As for going out. It really is hard. Thank goodness for tesco delivery! Even him arriving makes me worry as I have to MEET him at the door. I plan my trips out very carefully. it is not so bad for familiar places but soemthig strange well.. thats different. I cope as I have no choice, but it isnt easy.

 

Oh "hands up" trekkie here! love star trek, classic more than anything. I also play WoW its the only real "social" thing I do.

[Martin Howe]

Hello, welcome to the forum

 

There's a few parents here who got a dx after their child so I'm sure there will be some people along who can help/understand/relate to those issues. I'm not a parent myself but I can relate to the lack of friends and the nervousness joining in here. Hopefully you will see that we are a friendly and supportive bunch (despite/because of differing views ) and you'll be able to make some virtual friends with us. Don't worry about things being taken the wrong way - generally we're understanding of difficulties we each have and support one another.

What Mumble said

[dee23]

Hi there Nats mum (and Nat of course)

 

What a brave first post <'> it is hard to be so honest and vulnerable like that. You sound like an interesting person; my partner, who is currently awaiting assessment, often lives in a quite remote setting for his work (when he is not lurking around eating me out of house and home ), its always nice to go and visit him there. I will look forward to "seeing" more of you around the forum

[parentsofdisabledchildren]

Hello Nats Mum,

Welcome to the forum