How did your Christmas Day turn out?

[JeanneA]

 

Hi Not the best of Christmas Day's here, Glen has been rather anxious most of the day but then he has been like this since last Friday when there was no School due to the snow. Glen is usually very good/happy in holidays but not so much this time. The afternoon was particularly difficult to get through, he was very repetitive saying: "home" or "school tomorrow". My eldest son Luke was here, and I think he was surprised how anxious Glen appeared. Still the day is over now thankfully.

[JeanneA]

 

The problem I have is my eldest son Luke who lives away in Oxford only sees Glen 3 or 4 times a year so isn't used to Glen's ways just as Glen isn't used to Luke so I wasn't surprised how things were. I think because of Luke and Glen not seeing each other much it probably added to Glen being anxious. We didn't even take any photos this year, just wasn't into it somehow.

[KezT]

we had a really good Xmas day for once. Managed to balance making it exciting & fun for the girls, with keeping things calm and normal(ish for DS.

 

Yay!

 

Even with my mother staying over for a few days (although she is getting better with him), we only had one screaming session. DS opened all his presents with all of us in the morning, then spent the whole day with his Ds and new game hiding in his room. As DH and mother have finally accepted that is what he needs to do, he was allowed to do so and not forced to come down and be sociable with the rest of us, which worked brilliantly!

 

Only got two more xmas's to get through - one with DH's brother & family tomorrow, and one with my siblings and families on the 30th...... Not sure how they will go, our siblings are not so good about understanding that he will not want to spend the day running around screaming with the other kids.....

[sesley]

my P has been on a ds game non stop since he opened it yesturday,i will get a screaming match in a minute to make him take a toilet break, he hasn't even bothered about ,nexties and drink and the telly being turned off or channel changed from his choice,he is so engorssed in the game. His dinner is chips or red spagetti, we had fillet steak yesturday, i kept offering him some loverly tender,sweet steak, but no he wanted red spagetti, have roast turkey today, so turkey or red psagetti i ask, red spagetti he replies i put a elf hat on him and told him in jest he has to keep it on and he hasn't bothered about taking it off he is so engrossed in his game. For a peaceful christmas ,you might want to insist they leave him alone to do his thing, my P got invited to a party when he was 5 and would rather play with partyboys trainset rather than football in the garden, its just what they do.Noisey interaction with others can be very stressful,so opting out should be his choice.Its part of being ASD.

[justine1]

We also had a great day,honestly think its the most relaxing cristmas I have had in at least 7 years!I made the hard decision not to go to my brothers and think it was wise really(even though he seems angry and even expects me to pay for some of the food!)

 

On christmas eve me and my boys had our own little party,we put on loud xmas music turned out the lights(just xmas lights)ans we had party food.We played musical statues,pin the nose on rudolf and pass the parcel,this made it possible for each of them to win a prize.After that they relaxed for 20min and went to bed before santa came(andso i could watch eastenders in peace.)

 

Christmas morning was slow and relaxing.The boys took time opening gifts while I popped the sausages on.Sam did throw a tantrum while opening gifts as he wanted more and wanted to open Eli's (18mths) gifts and wasnt happy when I said no,but it didnt last as he went off to enjoy his BEN 10 figures.My eldest and I had a lovely fryup while Sam had fried mushrooms and tea and Dan had cookie crisp.

 

At 10.30am my ex came with more gifts which they opened and they took some photos.They left at 11.30am to get some fresh air and my ex went to cook food for Dan and they had snacks at his place.I was then able to cook roast beef and chicken with veg etc. It was nice to have that time alone as I didnt have to leave the kids unattended while I cooked and I didnt get all hot and bothered,much less stress!

 

They came back at 2.30 and we ate at 2.45pm.We then relaxed, kids playing quietly.My ex left at 4.30pm.The best part came when Josh(9) and Sam (6:AS) played a game with their new figures it was DrWho against BEN 10,it was funny to watch and they had a great time,it is very rare that Sam interacts like that with his brothers and it put a smile on my face.

 

We then got in our pyjamas and watched The Gruffullo and Dr Who.It was a great day Today(Boxing day) was also good ,we went for an afternoon walk to burn off all the food and boys played on the computer for two hours taking turns,no tears so far Sam has been great but I am sure because I am not so stressed he is not as stressed.Another thing that made me so happy was that in the morning when I got up Sam's door was closed(which he hates)so I asked him why and he said he wanted to play without waking me up,so sweet

[trekster]

Hello

 

i was pstd triggered the night before resulting in little sleep that night. i woke up severely depressed and anxious and most of that took some time to ease off. Today was a bit better except all the talking over someones questions being asked in a quiz book.

 

Alexis

[trekster]

we had a really good Xmas day for once. Managed to balance making it exciting & fun for the girls, with keeping things calm and normal(ish for DS.

 

Yay!

 

Even with my mother staying over for a few days (although she is getting better with him), we only had one screaming session. DS opened all his presents with all of us in the morning, then spent the whole day with his Ds and new game hiding in his room. As DH and mother have finally accepted that is what he needs to do, he was allowed to do so and not forced to come down and be sociable with the rest of us, which worked brilliantly!

 

My family are getting better at accepting that going on the PC is not to be rude but so i can have some down time. Some asperger folk i know call it defrag time where they recover from the social pressures that they feel are upon them.

Only got two more xmas's to get through - one with DH's brother & family tomorrow, and one with my siblings and families on the 30th...... Not sure how they will go, our siblings are not so good about understanding that he will not want to spend the day running around screaming with the other kids.....

 

Good lad for not being silly with the other kids.

 

Alexis

[trekster]

my P has been on a ds game non stop since he opened it yesturday,i will get a screaming match in a minute to make him take a toilet break, he hasn't even bothered about, nexties and drink and the telly being turned off or channel changed from his choice,he is so engrossed in the game. His dinner is chips or red spaghetti, we had fillet steak yesterday, i kept offering him some loverly tender,sweet steak, but no he wanted red spaghetti, have roast turkey today, so turkey or red spaghetti i ask, red spaghetti he replies i put a elf hat on him and told him in jest he has to keep it on and he hasn't bothered about taking it off he is so engrossed in his game. For a peaceful Christmas ,you might want to insist they leave him alone to do his thing, my P got invited to a party when he was 5 and would rather play with partyboys trainset rather than football in the garden, its just what they do. Noisy interaction with others can be very stressful,so opting out should be his choice.Its part of being ASD.

 

Love your post and im totally with you there.

[Tally]

I managed to cook turkey for 7 people. It went well, but they were meant to stay for tea, but my dad suddenly announced they were going home. I was kind of pleased to be rid of them, but my grandma had bought me loads of cheese for Christmas Day tea which is still ponging out my fridge.

 

Going out today was a mistake though, I was completely exhausted.

[trekster]

We also had a great day,honestly think its the most relaxing Christmas I have had in at least 7 years!I made the hard decision not to go to my brothers and think it was wise really(even though he seems angry and even expects me to pay for some of the food!)

 

He sounds really nasty since you made it clear it could change before he purchased the stuff.

On Christmas eve me and my boys had our own little party, we put on loud Xmas music turned out the lights (just Xmas lights) and we had party food. We played musical statues, pin the nose on Rudolf and pass the parcel, this made it possible for each of them to win a prize. After that they relaxed for 20min and went to bed before Santa came (and so i could watch EastEnders in peace.)

 

i went to my mums and the evening was ok until i went to bed. There is a crack at the top of my wall and it was keeping my brother awake next door. He got very annoyed and swore at me when i didnt beleive him that it was keeping him awake!

Christmas morning was slow and relaxing. The boys took time opening gifts while I popped the sausages on. Sam did throw a tantrum while opening gifts as he wanted more and wanted to open Eli's (18mths) gifts and wasn't happy when I said no, but it didn't last as he went off to enjoy his BEN 10 figures. My eldest and I had a lovely fryup while Sam had fried mushrooms and tea and Dan had cookie crisp.

 

At 10.30am my ex came with more gifts which they opened and they took some photos. They left at 11.30am to get some fresh air and my ex went to cook food for Dan and they had snacks at his place. I was then able to cook roast beef and chicken with veg etc. It was nice to have that time alone as I didn't have to leave the kids unattended while I cooked and I didn't get all hot and bothered, much less stress!

 

Pleased to hear it was much easier for you this time. i had curry for breakfast lol

They came back at 2.30 and we ate at 2.45pm. We then relaxed, kids playing quietly. My ex left at 4.30pm. The best part came when Josh (9) and Sam (6:AS) played a game with their new figures it was Dr Who against BEN 10, it was funny to watch and they had a great time, it is very rare that Sam interacts like that with his brothers and it put a smile on my face.

 

One of my relatives read a book to my 3.5 year old. i hadn't seen her with children before. It was lovely to watch.

We then got in our pyjamas and watched The Gruffullo and Dr Who. It was a great day Today (Boxing day) was also good, we went for an afternoon walk to burn off all the food and boys played on the computer for two hours taking turns, no tears so far Sam has been great but I am sure because I am not so stressed he is not as stressed. Another thing that made me so happy was that in the morning when I got up Sam's door was closed (which he hates) so I asked him why and he said he wanted to play without waking me up,so sweet

 

Sounds like you had a great time, pleased to hear!

 

Alexis

 

 

[JeanneA]

Tomorrow we're going out for lunch including my eldest son Luke, daughter Julie, her boyfriend and an uncle, I do hope Glen will be ok, I'm starting to regret booking it up now!

[lisac]

Jeanne i know exactly how you feel, we book these things when our children arent so stressed/anxious then when the times comes round we wonder what on earth we were thinking! Hope it goes ok for you , x

[heleno]

Our day was excellent. Last Christmas was very tragic for us as my sister was very ill (she died on Boxing day) this year we had 10 people at ours and everything went swimmingly and the man reason things are better with my son I put down to having created a space especially for him. In April we took the plunge and had the garage converted into a usable room just for him, its amazingly cheap compared to extending or building and we have been able to give him a bedroom/sitting room that is furnished with his needs in mind and on the ground floor. He is able to be in there and comfortable whilst still near us. One of us usually goes and sits with him to watch TV or play on the PS and the whole set up have meant a much calmer and happier household.

He disappeared in there with his cousin after lunch and he was calm - which meant we were calm!! Its only been possible to create this as we got DLA for him and the financial squeeze eased! I realise it isn't possible for everyone to have this sort of area but it really has made a difference to our family and how my son copes with life.

I guess when you lose someone you love it focuses you on what is important and how very fragile and short life is so any thing that makes it better is worth sharing.

Edited December 27, 2009 by heleno

[kerryt84]

Christmas Day for me was really good. It was just me and my boyfriend all day alone in our apartment, which is exactly how I like it. It was our first Christmas living together and my first Christmas away from home which I was very anxious about, but he seemed to realise that I needed set routines and needed to stick to my old traditions from home, which helped a lot.

 

Christmas Eve wasn't so great. It had been planned for ages that I would go round my parents and we would open our family presents together. I had got really stressed out that I might not be able to go because of the snow, but it was ok. But, when I got there my sister had gone to town to see her boyfriend and my mum was moaning constantly about it. Because it was not going how I had imagined I got upset, but luckily my sister came home soon after that and we did the presents (although my Dad kept saying what a contol freak I was telling everyone when they could open their presents etc. I wish I could tell him it's cause I have AS because it makes me feel awful being teased about it).

 

Boxing Day was stressful because I had to make Christmas lunch again for my parents and sister and my boyfriend's mum. It actually went according to plan and they were impressed. It went a bit downhill from there as we played some board games and I am such a bad loser and people weren't taking the game seriously, which I know they shouldn't, but it's just my personality. Then I got upset when my boyfriend did something that I considered unfair, it was only very minor but I take any injustice very seriously. He knew something was wrong, but of course I couldn't communicate what was wrong properly, so then I ended up getting upset. Then we made up, lol. Now we have my boyfriend's mum staying with us until New Year, which I have not been looking forward to as I feel I'm on edge constantly and can't relax. I think I'll be having a breakdown by New Year. She doesn't understand what I'm like at all and says really unhelpful things like: 'why don't you hug me when you see me?', 'shall I go home because you won't talk to me?' and she keeps changing things I have planned which sends me into an almost instant meltdown.

 

Then at New Year we are going to stay with my boyfriend's friends for a few days and going to house parties on New Year's Eve - as you can imagine I'm not looking forward to those few days. Will be glad when the next week is over with

[Meethoss]

I've had a mixed experience. Christmas Eve was really good fun - a couple of friends and I had planned to go for a quiet drink at the pub and lots of my friends were asking what I was doing so I sent texts around informing my close group and we went from originally 3 up to an eventual 16. They're my closest friends and even though only one of them knows about my AS they all know what I'm like generally and seem happy enough with me.

 

Christmas Day sucked however. I did the usual down my dad's to open presents (which was fine) and then back to my mum's for more presents and lunch. I setup my new PS3 and had one game on it then my mum complained about me using it - I've not got a great relationship with her, she was very dismissive when I told her about my AS and she's not looked in to it like I suggested. We don't talk much despite me living with her and I very rarely leave my room when I'm in the house because I don't feel comfortable round her; she always has control over what we watch on TV (despite the fact I own it) because I don't feel like I have a say, so I was really annoyed that she said I should take my PS3 upstairs as I bought it to use in high-definition! After that I just spent the rest of my Christmas in my room (5+ hours) and went to bed early.

 

Boxing Day I then went down my dads for lunch and we did Secret Santa between myself and my siblings and their partners. It's the second time we've done it and I had my step-sister's fiance both times and he didn't work out it was me that bought them - I think I'm quite good at it because I don't really show any emotion or reaction. Then in the evening we went around my mate's house and in to town. This sucked even more - there's a girl in our group that I really like and I've kissed her once before and sort of been on a date with her but I didn't really speak to her all night. She's really pretty and was getting a lot of attention of all of my mates and whilst I wasn't jealous I got really annoyed with myself - I just wasn't sure what to do and was upset that I'm never confident enough or know what to say to make a move on somebody I like. I have a long history of being chosen and not chosing the person I like, and then I end up getting used and manipulated.

 

Then Sunday I woke up still feeling very depressed and it last most of the day. I did however, with some help from my closest girl friend, write a text to this girl I like and ask her if she'd like to meet up for a chat so we're going today and that helped cheer me up a bit and then I went out again with my mates in the evening and had a good time despite feeling quite self conscious. I'm a little nervous about later as I'm not entirely sure what to expect from her or what to say or even talk about but I'm just trying to be cool and see how it goes - will make a mental list of some things to discuss before I meet with her.

 

Sorry, a bit of an emotional brain dump there but you know what they say - better out than in!

 

Steve

[jo4themo]

Normally N doesn't get excited about Christmas and has even appeared bored when opening her pressies, but this year she was really looking forward to it and couldn't wait to see what Santa had brought her . I think this was helped by her younger sister and brother who were very over-excited.

Christmas Day was calm (well as calm as it ever is here!) and even though we did things different this year as rather than my friend and her girls coming over for lunch (or us going there) we had my sister and her OH instead, then our friend, her OH and their kids came for tea. N managed all this with ease, although she ate way too much chocolate and only ate her pigs in blankets (well pigs really as she wont eat bacon) at lunch.

Boxing Day was calm as well - we went up our friend's for tea and again all N ate was sausages and trifle and profiterole gateau she was relaxed (we go there a lot anyhow).

She has had a few meltdowns since though - once cos she couldnt quite finish one of her Lego models she had, and twice over a Wii game she got - she has this thing where she likes to watch someone else play a new game until she knows what to expect in it - cos the person playing didn't do what she thought they should.

All in all a lovely Christmas, esp for N

[JeanneA]

Well the meal out on Sunday did go ok in the end. Glen did ask for the toilet 4 times though (in 2 hours) he always does this when he is anxious. It was a much better day than Christmas Day so that was something glad we went through with it now.

[mandyque]

woo!

 

This small expression of happiness escaped my dds lips on Christmas morning. She walked into the living room and that is all I heard, followed by the rustling of paper being torn off. I dashed down to catch her opening her presents before they'd all been unwrapped!

 

That one little word means so much to me. It means that she was happy. It means that she understands and remembers that the decorations come out, then we have a present day. It meant as much to me as all the 'OMG my favourite toy EVER' comments that I used to get from ds when he was younger. I know you will all understand. From a little girl who only has a handful of functional words, this was a true expression of emotion and happiness. I feel very soppy about the whole thing, but all I've been getting from other people is that sort of 'and.....?' reaction, like something had to follow it. Well, no, it doesn't. That little 'woo!' said it all

[Meethoss]

Congrats Mandy

[trekster]

Mine has been a mixed experience as well. For me Xmas doesn't end until 12th night and i have in the past sung carols up until that date.

ive got xmas cards (to recycle), playmobil advent calendar and a Xmas tree to take down. i normally take them down on the daytime before

with help.

 

i had some near crying episodes on Xmas day and Xmas eve after a fall out with my bro. i just felt uneasy most of the Xmas day in particular.

At least i can walk out and do something in another room if necessary since my gran is quite lexxie friendly (my nickname).

 

Alexis

[trekster]

woo!

 

This small expression of happiness escaped my dds lips on Christmas morning. She walked into the living room and that is all I heard, followed by the rustling of paper being torn off. I dashed down to catch her opening her presents before they'd all been unwrapped!

 

That one little word means so much to me. It means that she was happy. It means that she understands and remembers that the decorations come out, then we have a present day. It meant as much to me as all the 'OMG my favourite toy EVER' comments that I used to get from ds when he was younger. I know you will all understand. From a little girl who only has a handful of functional words, this was a true expression of emotion and happiness. I feel very soppy about the whole thing, but all I've been getting from other people is that sort of 'and.....?' reaction, like something had to follow it. Well, no, it doesn't. That little 'woo!' said it all

 

Im pleased she enjoyed herself.

 

Alexis

 

[sesley]

those little positive things make all the difference. Happy New Year to you. I hope all goes forward steady and sure for you.

[Kathryn]

Glad everyone survived the season - and Mandyque that's a lovely story about your daughter. I hope she enjoyed the rest of her Christmas too.

 

Our Christmas at the inlaws was good but not the most tranquil ever. Two adult members of the family (who have never got on that well) had a bit of a tiff on Boxing Day during lunch. It was patched up later, more or less. Ah well, that's families for you - get people under the same roof for a couple of days and tensions are bound to arise.

 

K x

 

 

[mandyque]

Thanks everyone and big <'> for all of you who had tough times. It wasn't all plain sailing but I'm concentrating on the good bits at the moment, there are lots of reasons why I need to keep my spirits up and it's not always easy to do so.

[JeanneA]

Well I have to say this New Year weekend is much more relaxed and calm we are all enjoying it much more than Christmas. Glen seems happy and much less anxious than he was last week. He does prefer it to be just the 3 of us at home he doesn't like all the fuss of Christmas and seeing other relations, can't say I blame him either! Happy New Year to you all hope its a good for you and your children.

[trekster]

Well I have to say this New Year weekend is much more relaxed and calm we are all enjoying it much more than Christmas. Glen seems happy and much less anxious than he was last week. He does prefer it to be just the 3 of us at home he doesn't like all the fuss of Christmas and seeing other relations, can't say I blame him either! Happy New Year to you all hope its a good for you and your children.

 

ive been the same this weekend.

 

Alexis

[justine1]

I must say that because it has been just me and the boys the whole holiday,Sam has been great Yesterday we went to the shop and he did get upset as he wanted to pack the shopping but it was them self service ones where the bags have to remain in one place so this did cause a huge tantrum,was really hard as the shops were packed,rather than me being embarrassed it was Sam who felt embarrassed!

 

Well,its just hard cause he seems to be in trouble constantly at school and its causing me stress these two weeks have been soooooooo relaxing,I am so dreading taking him back to school