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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
mcguin

opinions needed please

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mcguin   

Hi i am new to this ,i found this forum while checking for answers for my sons behaviour ,to cut a long story short he has been refered to cahms seen a phycologist been screened for adhd which was negative now refered to a phyciatrist for screening on aspergers he sees ed phycologist also everything i am about to describe about him isnt just recent behaviour its just been the way he has always been he is now 7 yrs old ,i guess i am looking for people with experiance of aspergers to inform me if the things i am describing sound like aspergers or another condition also any sugestions on how to deal with things .

from an early ae we knew he was different from other kids at nursery he wasnt interested in interacting with other kids but was more advanced clever wise .

here goes with my description -

he has poor eye contact when talking or being spoke to

ignores when called /has had his hearing tested and hearing fine

excessive fear of noise, covers his ears frequently

he seems in his own world

temper tantrums , over reacts to not getting his own way

doesnt like to be touched this can lead to a total break down

hates crowds,has difficulties in resturants/ supermarkets

seems anxious

his speach was delayed no one except me could understand him till he was 6 /speach good now due to a few years with speach therapist

makes unusal noises and often lets out loud squeals for no reason

often talks to himself mostly gibberish

talks excessivly all the time

no understanding of basic things he just cant get it

doesnt take no for an answer

he repeats words he has heared also repeats tv adverts or phrases from a movie

he constantly does with his fingers against his forehead /eye

he smells everything ,his sense of smell is amazing

very much obsessed with numbers , numbers are his life ,he even counts how many letters are in a sentence when its said to him

spins himself round lots

he has this hobby os collecting different shapes etc of small stones which he is very much attached to

he has to have his routines / rituals all through the day every day any change just sets him up for a very bad day

educational wise his skill is superior to his age group except writting

sleep problems / hes been tested for sleep apnea hes also had his tonsils/adenoids removed in the hope that would help but that was a few years ago and his sleep is still as bad he has trouble falling asleep/frequent awakenings through the night and awake early morning around 5 refuses to go back to sleep sometimes i feel hes like a rebot and he must run on batteries

he has restricted taste with food he has always been like this but recently got worse to to point i am worried about his nutrician he used to be extremly fussy on what food he would eat now all he seams to want is scrambled egg he would have this breakfast lunch and dinner , drinking wise all he drinks is water he loves to drink water to the extent when am out and dont have any with me he has a tantrum and thinks hes going to die so we have to quickly get him some.

hes having trouble in school not education but with the other kids constantly in fights doesnt have friends and doesnt know how to interact he just gets aggresive in play

he takes sarcastic comments literally and just doesnt understand when i try to explain it gets confusing for him

his internal thoughts are often verbalized often getting him or me in trouble ,most of the time hes right but doesnt know when hes in a situation were he shouldnt speak out or doesnt realise the things he says or thinks may offend someone

he is very naive and trusting

he just doesnt sit stil he has to be figiting or in constant motion

he loves the pc and games consoles he would spend his life on them i allowed he becomes addicted to them

he questions rules ,excessive arguing with people easily annoyed by others looses temper easily

he has a great memory in certain thing ie he could memorise a book or phrases from a movie but when it comes to things like daily activites he is very forgetful

he is a very determined wee boy that will keep trying if at first he doesnt suceed

he likes to be tidy and hates mess , mess gets him upset evrn crumbs

sometimes the things he says and does i think he is a genious

 

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE ASPERGER OR IF YOU THINK IT COULD BE ANOTHER CONDITION ,I KNOW AS A MOTHER MY SON ISNT LIKE OTHER KIDS BUT I JUST WANT HELP ON HOW TO APPROACH THESE ISSUES RIGHT NOW I AN CONCERENED ABOUT HIS EATING IF ANY ONE CAN SUGGEST ANYTHING ,THANKYOU.

 

 

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KezT   

Most of those things sound like quite classic AS

 

It may take a while for a definite DX tho - needs multi-disciplinary agreement and reports etc..... Also many traits can be caused by many other things too, but put all together it seems at least a possible dx.

 

 

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justine1   

Hi welcome to the forum.Yes,it does sound like Aspergers but as mentiond above,he needs a full assesment.My son had two appts with a specialist ASD Paediatrician.The first session was 1hr she asked me loads of questions on how Sam was as a baby leading up to how he is now.Sam's younger brother was present and she was able to observe his lack of interaction,she also asked him a couple of general questions and she again could see something was'nt quite "right."

 

We then went for a second appt,originally scheduled for this month but moved it because Sam had been excluded from school twice so he was put as "urgent",this appt was 1hr 45min she did ask little more detail about Sam some questions reapeated,then spent 1hr doing certain activities (saying opposites,things that are similar,he had to look at a block sequence briefly and then build that same sequence,and she asked questiond about his friends school etc)

 

She told us right then that he has AS and gave me info and contacted his school so they can get ed phsych in etc.

So as you can see its quite a thorough process.I wish you luck in getting to the bottom of things >:D<<'>

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Tally   

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

That sounds a lot like Asperger's. However, his speech delay may mean his eventual diagnosis is autism. Once children do learn to speak, there is often little difference between autism and Asperger's.

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mcguin   

thanks for your replys , i also forgot to mention he has been excluded from school twice recently but the school have seen for them selves he has underlying problems that need to be assesed i think thats why they brought in the ed phycologist as he needed a risk assesment done on him before he could go back into school ,he now is not allowed out with the other kids at break and lunch times he stays in class with an assistant that the school had to find money in the budget for as no one in the school is qualified to manage him .the ed phycologist has tried a number of different things with my son but the last time he seen her she said she had 1 last thing to try and if it didnt work she would consider a statment of needs on the next visit (i dont know what this is ) but the last thing she tried was circle of friends this did not work as my son just couldnt take the critisism from theother kids .

i just want to know how to approach the situation with my son i want to understand him .

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JsMum   

Hi mcguin, wow, your list is very precise and it is can be used to to share with other proffessionals, so copy it and have it added into his School file, GP file and any proffessionals he is seeing,

 

Your son sounds like he has a number of difficulties and the biggest Im seeing is defo on the Autistic Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Prossessing/intergration Disorder.

 

Your son could also have some samantic and pragmatic language difficulties and he certainly is suffereing Anxiety because his needs are not been met, and possibl not in the right educational setting.

 

The school are now isolating him from peers and he has a 1-1 TA who may not know how to manage his behaviour due to not fully understanding his complex needs, with what you have mentioned on your list he could have a number of special needs known as comorbids.

 

I would defo get the assessment done as soon as possible, and request for a specialist school that meets the needs of children with Autism/communication/language disorders/sensory needs.

 

Your son also could of been unlawfully excluded if your sons Special needs were not met, also if his behaviour is down to communication/social/sensory difficulties then they are discriminating him, so do contact IPSEA also to discuss with someone proffessional in special educational needs Law.

 

I think the school/camhs are very aware he has an ASD and more but are very very very reluctant to dx and place him in a special school, your son should of never had to have gone this far if they really wanted to help him.

 

This is not your sons fault but the system of todays educational services and storys like your remind me of times we went throw as there similair to what you have been throw, and it makes me so angry.

 

once I realised my son educational rights due to his special needs I received support from here and the helplines such IPSEA, CONTACT A FAMILY.

 

http://www.cafamily.org.uk/families/index.html

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/

 

I have been able to get my son into a educational placement that meets ALL his needs and he is finally happy, he still has his special needs and challenges but they support him now.

 

My son is very bright too and he loves computer games as they stimulate him and reward him and he is a great kid but bloomin hard work too, you have done amazing to have coped with all this alone so well done for getting this far!

 

There is many more helplines in the Educational section tool box, so do look throw the forum section too.

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=20382

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=20381

 

JsMumxxx

 

Edited by JsMum

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Karen A   
thanks for your replys , i also forgot to mention he has been excluded from school twice recently but the school have seen for them selves he has underlying problems that need to be assesed i think thats why they brought in the ed phycologist as he needed a risk assesment done on him before he could go back into school ,he now is not allowed out with the other kids at break and lunch times he stays in class with an assistant that the school had to find money in the budget for as no one in the school is qualified to manage him .the ed phycologist has tried a number of different things with my son but the last time he seen her she said she had 1 last thing to try and if it didnt work she would consider a statment of needs on the next visit (i dont know what this is ) but the last thing she tried was circle of friends this did not work as my son just couldnt take the critisism from theother kids .

i just want to know how to approach the situation with my son i want to understand him .

 

Hi.

A Statement of SEN is provided by the LA for children who have SEN and who need more help than can be provided at School Action Plus by the school.Before the LA can issue a Statement they first need to conduct a Statutary Assessment.The Statutary Assessment should involve yourself and any agencies involved with your child.It should establish exactly what SEN your child has and what support is needed to meet those needs.

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...-assessment.htm

This link might be useful.It explains the process more clearly than my rough guide. :)

If the school excludes your child again please do ensure that the exclusion is legal and is documented.This will provide helpful evidence that more appropriate support is needed.

Karen.

 

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JsMum   

Hi Karen A, I wrote my reply with the presumption that Mcguins son is already on School Action Plus as he has been attending the circle of friends, and has been involved with outside agencies which would place him on school action plus.

 

I bet my bottom dollar that Msguins son has been on School Action and School Action Plus just as my own son was at seven, by then he had been on early years action, early years action plus, school action, and school action plus for THREE years before a statement was issued when he was 8years old, looking at what support he has now, its quite amazing J did as well as he did, it makes me so angry when schools drag their heals on such children who are clearly struggling.

 

JsMumxxx

 

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Karen A   
Hi Karen A, I wrote my reply with the presumption that Mcguins son is already on School Action Plus as he has been attending the circle of friends, and has been involved with outside agencies which would place him on school action plus.

 

I bet my bottom dollar that Msguins son has been on School Action and School Action Plus just as my own son was at seven, by then he had been on early years action, early years action plus, school action, and school action plus for THREE years before a statement was issued when he was 8years old, looking at what support he has now, its quite amazing J did as well as he did, it makes me so angry when schools drag their heals on such children who are clearly struggling.

 

JsMumxxx

 

Sorry I have a confession to make.You may well be right about school action plus.

I posted the response having read the post I quoted.It is not like me I know but I did not read through your last post before responding. :whistle::whistle::o

 

I have had a stressful few weeks over the christmas holiday.Having spent most of yesterday with elder DS at a hospital appointment I enjoyed a four hour respite today with both sons at school before they closed due to snow. :D:wallbash:

 

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JsMum   
Sorry I have a confession to make.You may well be right about school action plus.

I posted the response having read the post I quoted.It is not like me I know but I did not read through your last post before responding. :whistle::whistle::o

 

I have had a stressful few weeks over the christmas holiday.Having spent most of yesterday with elder DS at a hospital appointment I enjoyed a four hour respite today with both sons at school before they closed due to snow. :D:wallbash:

Well I am now thinking WHAT IF Mcguins son isnt even at school action stage, she then would have to start from there, which wouldnt give her son enough support NOW, but I will wait for a reply first to make sure that they are at least at stage school action plus, with the funding of the TA for playtimes it makes me feel they must be, sorry youve had a real hard time of it, I was about to ask how is Karen A doing as I know that things were getting difficult for your son just before christmas?

 

A very Happy New Year Karen A.

 

JsMumxxx

 

 

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Karen A   
Well I am now thinking WHAT IF Mcguins son isnt even at school action stage, she then would have to start from there, which wouldnt give her son enough support NOW, but I will wait for a reply first to make sure that they are at least at stage school action plus, with the funding of the TA for playtimes it makes me feel they must be, sorry youve had a real hard time of it, I was about to ask how is Karen A doing as I know that things were getting difficult for your son just before christmas?

 

A very Happy New Year Karen A.

 

JsMumxxx

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Since you ask not good. :tearful:

Karen.

 

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mcguin   

Hi thanks again for all the help you lovely people have given me , im very sorry it may seem i dont know much about what to do or who to speak to regarding my son well thats because i dont but im determened to find out and you people on this forum have given me a wealth of info more than ive received from any of the professions ive seen with regards to my son i do feel in limbo right now because he hasnt actualy been diagnosed yet so dont know what or who to turn to for help because i cant say for def what his condition is but i am determened to fight for my sons diagnosis and his education , i do feel main stream school is to much for him he isnt coping he hates going and often pretends to be unwell its getting to the stage i feel bad sending him in .

as for school action plus again im sorry to be naive but im really not sure i think it has been mentiond at a meeting with the school so dont know if they are involved ,if its s a p that put an action plan in place then review it every so often then yes this is being done , i think i need to contact a help or support agency that can maybe come to the meetings at the school with me as try as i do i just cant understand them i feel them make me feel they are always right and my son has no rights which i know isnt true but thats the way they put things across even if i express to them i disagree with somthing it always ends up their way.

as for the exclusions being legal i dont think they were as the last time this happened he was excluded but the head teacher couldnt tell me for how long untill she got some advise from the head of education i thought at that point somthing wasnt right but after 4 days of the exclusion i got a call from the headteacher informing me the head of education advised her to include not exclude my son but she put it in a way for me to be greatful and advised me not to tell anyone as everyone would want this special treatment {her words } she then went on to say i would have to sign paperwork for his absence saying i voluntery removed him from school for his own and others saftey this i refused to do and she told me it would be best as that way it wouldnt go on his record as an exclusion when she had already told me she wasnt to exclude him , i still refused to sign then she gave me the legal jargin about paper work and a child being abscent from school with no reason and how because she sent him home with an exclusion that didnt exist if he was to be out and about if somthing was to happen to him she would have the blame ,in other words she was putting the bame on me .still i didnt sign but dont know what paper work was filed for his abscence if any.

this is when the head of education supplied extra money to the school budget as they had none left for a ta to do 1 to 1 for my son on his return to school after seeing an ed phycologist for a risk assesment whom concluded my son couldnt be at the school unless he is seperated from his peers at break and lunch times he even eats his lunch with the ta and not the other kids .

today was his first day back after the holidays and since my last post i have learned the ta is no longer available due to money shortages so today at break and lunch my son was left in the school library and told to clean it , when i asked the assistent head about this i was told about the ta and how they are 2 pa abscent and had to do somthing to keep my son occupied ,i am so angry with the school right now i have tried my hardest to keep calm and be patient with them but everything they say they will do always seems to fade away after time then they wonder why my son is behaving this way .

im so sorry to go on but i think i need to get as much info as possiable to help my son but dont know if i can go to other help support agencies as i dont have a name for what is wrong {no diagnosise yet }so will they see it as they cant help .?

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Karen A   
Hi thanks again for all the help you lovely people have given me , im very sorry it may seem i dont know much about what to do or who to speak to regarding my son well thats because i dont but im determened to find out and you people on this forum have given me a wealth of info more than ive received from any of the professions ive seen with regards to my son i do feel in limbo right now because he hasnt actualy been diagnosed yet so dont know what or who to turn to for help because i cant say for def what his condition is but i am determened to fight for my sons diagnosis and his education , i do feel main stream school is to much for him he isnt coping he hates going and often pretends to be unwell its getting to the stage i feel bad sending him in .

as for school action plus again im sorry to be naive but im really not sure i think it has been mentiond at a meeting with the school so dont know if they are involved ,if its s a p that put an action plan in place then review it every so often then yes this is being done , i think i need to contact a help or support agency that can maybe come to the meetings at the school with me as try as i do i just cant understand them i feel them make me feel they are always right and my son has no rights which i know isnt true but thats the way they put things across even if i express to them i disagree with somthing it always ends up their way.

as for the exclusions being legal i dont think they were as the last time this happened he was excluded but the head teacher couldnt tell me for how long untill she got some advise from the head of education i thought at that point somthing wasnt right but after 4 days of the exclusion i got a call from the headteacher informing me the head of education advised her to include not exclude my son but she put it in a way for me to be greatful and advised me not to tell anyone as everyone would want this special treatment {her words } she then went on to say i would have to sign paperwork for his absence saying i voluntery removed him from school for his own and others saftey this i refused to do and she told me it would be best as that way it wouldnt go on his record as an exclusion when she had already told me she wasnt to exclude him , i still refused to sign then she gave me the legal jargin about paper work and a child being abscent from school with no reason and how because she sent him home with an exclusion that didnt exist if he was to be out and about if somthing was to happen to him she would have the blame ,in other words she was putting the bame on me .still i didnt sign but dont know what paper work was filed for his abscence if any.

this is when the head of education supplied extra money to the school budget as they had none left for a ta to do 1 to 1 for my son on his return to school after seeing an ed phycologist for a risk assesment whom concluded my son couldnt be at the school unless he is seperated from his peers at break and lunch times he even eats his lunch with the ta and not the other kids .

today was his first day back after the holidays and since my last post i have learned the ta is no longer available due to money shortages so today at break and lunch my son was left in the school library and told to clean it , when i asked the assistent head about this i was told about the ta and how they are 2 pa abscent and had to do somthing to keep my son occupied ,i am so angry with the school right now i have tried my hardest to keep calm and be patient with them but everything they say they will do always seems to fade away after time then they wonder why my son is behaving this way .

im so sorry to go on but i think i need to get as much info as possiable to help my son but dont know if i can go to other help support agencies as i dont have a name for what is wrong {no diagnosise yet }so will they see it as they cant help .?

 

Goodmorning mcguin.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Please do not feel bad about not knowing how things work.

I have Ben who is 11 and has AS.Ben is also very bright.He was finally diagnosed with AS last year after three years of debate.

When I joined the Forum I was in exactly the same situation you are in.I had very little awareness and was working with a school that was not supportive.We had heated discussions with the school over excusions and appropriate support.

I have done lots of reading in the last three years.I have had lots of support from some excellent people here who are very knowledgable.

I will not pretend that everything is ok now.We still have ongoing issues with secondary school.

However Ben does have a Statement of SEN which provides some security.

Most of us here started off without a diagnosis and with little knowledge of the education system so you are not alone. >:D<<'>

 

I think it would be worth asking the SENCO at school to provide documentary evidence regarding what stage in the SEN process your son is at.I would think that if an EP has been involved it should be School Action Plus.

School should also have a documented IEP.

These are important because if you decide to request a Statutary Assessment school will need to show what support has been put in place already.If the LA think school have not done enough with the funding for pupils at School Action Plus they may refuse to conduct a Statutary Assessment until school can show they have done more. :wallbash:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1763

If you look at the topics on this link there is lots of useful information regarding IEPS,Statutary Assessment and being an advocate for your child.

 

As regards the exclusions it sounds as though they may well not be legal.If the HT decides to send your child home unless they are unwell then that is very likely to be illegal.The HT cannot ask you to remove your child because they cannot provide a safe environment for your child or others due to your child's needs and then expect you to document that that was your choice. :angry:

If the HT attempts to take this course of action again then ACE provide some very good information regarding action you can take.

 

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-educ...mation-pack.htm

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/What-you-need-to-know/Exclusion

 

There should be a Parent Partnership Service in your area.Parent Partnership support parents of children who have SEN.They are aware of local issues.Some are better than others.Some are too closely associated with the LA to be helpful.However I think it would be worth talking to them too.They can attend meetings with you.

 

Karen.

Edited by Karen A

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JsMum   
Hi thanks again for all the help you lovely people have given me , im very sorry it may seem i dont know much about what to do or who to speak to regarding my son well thats because i dont but im determened to find out and you people on this forum have given me a wealth of info more than ive received from any of the professions ive seen with regards to my son i do feel in limbo right now because he hasnt actualy been diagnosed yet so dont know what or who to turn to for help because i cant say for def what his condition is but i am determened to fight for my sons diagnosis and his education , i do feel main stream school is to much for him he isnt coping he hates going and often pretends to be unwell its getting to the stage i feel bad sending him in .

as for school action plus again im sorry to be naive but im really not sure i think it has been mentiond at a meeting with the school so dont know if they are involved ,if its s a p that put an action plan in place then review it every so often then yes this is being done , i think i need to contact a help or support agency that can maybe come to the meetings at the school with me as try as i do i just cant understand them i feel them make me feel they are always right and my son has no rights which i know isnt true but thats the way they put things across even if i express to them i disagree with somthing it always ends up their way.

as for the exclusions being legal i dont think they were as the last time this happened he was excluded but the head teacher couldnt tell me for how long untill she got some advise from the head of education i thought at that point somthing wasnt right but after 4 days of the exclusion i got a call from the headteacher informing me the head of education advised her to include not exclude my son but she put it in a way for me to be greatful and advised me not to tell anyone as everyone would want this special treatment {her words } she then went on to say i would have to sign paperwork for his absence saying i voluntery removed him from school for his own and others saftey this i refused to do and she told me it would be best as that way it wouldnt go on his record as an exclusion when she had already told me she wasnt to exclude him , i still refused to sign then she gave me the legal jargin about paper work and a child being abscent from school with no reason and how because she sent him home with an exclusion that didnt exist if he was to be out and about if somthing was to happen to him she would have the blame ,in other words she was putting the bame on me .still i didnt sign but dont know what paper work was filed for his abscence if any.

this is when the head of education supplied extra money to the school budget as they had none left for a ta to do 1 to 1 for my son on his return to school after seeing an ed phycologist for a risk assesment whom concluded my son couldnt be at the school unless he is seperated from his peers at break and lunch times he even eats his lunch with the ta and not the other kids .

today was his first day back after the holidays and since my last post i have learned the ta is no longer available due to money shortages so today at break and lunch my son was left in the school library and told to clean it , when i asked the assistent head about this i was told about the ta and how they are 2 pa abscent and had to do somthing to keep my son occupied ,i am so angry with the school right now i have tried my hardest to keep calm and be patient with them but everything they say they will do always seems to fade away after time then they wonder why my son is behaving this way .

im so sorry to go on but i think i need to get as much info as possiable to help my son but dont know if i can go to other help support agencies as i dont have a name for what is wrong {no diagnosise yet }so will they see it as they cant help .?

 

Well I was upset with your first post, but Im even more upset for you in this post, what are your school doing, the exclusion was defo unlawful and then they tried to get you to sign him off school, this school is apauling and the LEA are backing them, scandlous.

 

You do need some independant advise and Id defo contact IPSEA as soon as possible who will help you with the letters that Karen A has said you need to do, I would contact these community law people too. as it maybe that you need some legal help.

 

 

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/gateway/education.jsp

 

 

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/gat...on.jsp?rid=5471

 

I recieved support from this service who put intouch with a solisitor who ordered private Eduacational Psychologist reports and private Speech and Language Reports who can recommend the childs needs in education.

 

I am on means tested benefits so I received legal aid.

 

I would still ring Ipsea as they can advise you now,

 

Im absaloutly angry with how your sons school/LEA are treating your son and you.

 

JsMumxxxx

Edited by JsMum

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JsMum   

Make sure you keep a log of all the events that have happened, and the procedures of the Exclusions, it may be the LEA/School may want to suggest that you took him out or that they where unauthorised abscences ect,,, bottom line is they have not correctly followed the guidelines, just make sure you keep an events diary.

 

What paper work do you have upto now.

 

Is there any evidence that your son recieved TA support before Christmas.

 

And now into a new term the TA isnt funded.

 

List what support the school have done, So TA for Breaks and Dinner ect... Time/Date from.

 

Keep a log of what is happening in school from today reguarding your son.

 

So in Library cleaning it! not interacting with any children, and no 1-1 TA exct...

Not allowed out at breaktimes and dinner.

 

What support does he have in Lessons/PE/activities.

 

You will get further support I am sure but keep a inventory of all of the things that is happeing now.

 

JsMumxxx

 

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justine1   

Hi again

I also think your sons school did'nt do the exclusion "by the book."As I mentioned above my son was also excluded twice,and like you I also feel he is not in the right environment,even though my sons school are not giving him support (still awaiting ed phsych assesment)I feel the exclusion were fair in that my son had harmed children on both occasions, I cant expect other children to feel unsafe at school cause of my sons behaviour(even though he has AS.)

 

Firstly,the school head called the LA before calling me to collect my son.Legally she/he has to phone LA to confirm how long the exclusion will be based on what the child has done wrong.First one they said two days but the second time they said a week,but as it was nearly Xmas holiday the head said she wants two days.She would then phone me to collect him and tell me how long the exclusion is for.

Secondly,when I came to fetch him the head gave me a letter which I had to sign(they keep a copy and I get one ),it is a general exclusion letter with ammendments made with my sons details,details of what he did wrong and the number of days the exclusion is for,as well as the date he will return.

Lastly,when he did return he went for a re-intergration meeting where they ask if he understood why he was being excluded and their expectations of him.

 

So if these steps were not followed then you should definatley complain.The letter is especially important as it will help when you go for a statement.Also I dont know if you do this already,but my son know has a diary(which I provided)where the teacher or TA will write about his day positive or negative,even "minor" things like going under tables can highlight my sons "problems" at school and again can support a statement.

 

Anytime you want a chat just PM me.Sounds like we both in very similar situation,and I am still new to this as my son was only dx'd in Dec,though I have been here since September.Take care.

 

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justine1   

Me again,also to mention my son was also told he cant go out at playtimes,but I told them after the first day this happened,that this is not fair and its illegal to exclude him from other activities.They then made a "compromise" by letting him out half playtime and then indoors the other half,but when he does come in he is allowed to chose a friend and play lego together.I was'nt happy at first but it is working for my son and thats the main thing.I stressed to the school that he loves to be outdoors and his behaviour will be worse if he doesnt get fresh air.

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mcguin   

Thanks again everyone , you all have been so kind and helpful ,i am learning to adjust to my son's ways and trying to see the world through his eyes so i can understand him more , but sometimes he does certain things i struggle with , i dont know if its related to whats wrong with him but if any of you have experianced it and delt with it in a way thats worked i would be greatful for your help .

right now he has went off his food , hes always been a fussy eater to extreme but now he just isnt interested in food , if anyone has experiance of this please let me know .

another habbit he has just now is chewing on his clothes , the cuffs of his jumpers etc are always soaked or chewed the tops of his jackets have the zips chewed he even chews the knees on his trousers , i dont know if this is a unconcious nervouse thing or not .

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Suze   

Hi,common, its a sensory thing, you can buy" chewy tubes", which are soft springy plastic.Some children at my sons school use them.You may be able to get them on specialist autism sites.It will hopefully save his clothes.My son was a terrible eater when he was younger, it was smell/taste related for him, and he would never eat thick food like mashed potato as it made him puke up .Hes tonnes better now it got better as he got older.

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baddad   
Thanks again everyone , you all have been so kind and helpful ,i am learning to adjust to my son's

another habbit he has just now is chewing on his clothes , the cuffs of his jumpers etc are always soaked or chewed the tops of his jackets have the zips chewed he even chews the knees on his trousers , i dont know if this is a unconcious nervouse thing or not .

 

My littlun used to eat all the cuffs on his jumpers etc, and had various other problematic 'stims' throughout the infants.

The best thing if a stim is really destructive or otherwise problematic is to redirect that energy into something less destructive/problematic. I just posted in another thread how play-doh 'stress balls' helped my sons rocking/fidgeting... for cuff chewing (he did collars and stuff too!) i invested in sweat bands (like tennis players wear on their wrists) from a sports shop and that worked really well - a lot cheaper than a new jumper every two weeks! Later, when he was able to move from chewing to fiddling the cuffs we replaced them with little love bead bracelets and/or lakky bands.

There was a small period when he carried tiny dolls heads (pulled off some 'pocket bratz' I think)around in his pocket and played with their hair as a diversion from twisting his own hair :lol: If a child psychologist had seen that it could have been misinterpreted! ('decapitation fantasy?'). If his 'hair twisting' had not been so bad i would have just ignored it, but he never did stuff by halves and was in danger of pulling it all out.

We both rather like having long hair, but got severe (by our standards) trims just before xmas as he was chewing his... none of that genteel 'corner of the mouth' stuff - he pulled it straight down at the front, past his nose and 'noshed' for all he was worth! Other than that, apart from a bit of flapping and leaping when he's on the games consoles, most of these major twitches have disappeared, so as Suze says it does tend to get better as they get older, as long as your consistently nudging them in the right direction.

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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bid   

My DS was a chronic 'sucker' of the neck of his t-shirt...huge wet patch stretching over his chest :(

 

I never did find a solution, and thinking back he was still doing it when he was 15. It was also definitely worse when he was anxious.

 

However, he's now 20 and he doesn't suck his t-shirt anymore, so would agree with Suze that it can get better as they mature.

 

To be honest, I have to say he still chews things like pen lids, plastic bag fasteners, a spikey bracelet...I mean he actually eats them, just a few fragments left on his desk or floor :o He does this in his room, not in front of people, so I guess as an adult it's up to him!

 

Good luck :)

 

Bid :)

Edited by bid

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Sally44   
Hi thanks again for all the help you lovely people have given me , im very sorry it may seem i dont know much about what to do or who to speak to regarding my son well thats because i dont but im determened to find out and you people on this forum have given me a wealth of info more than ive received from any of the professions ive seen with regards to my son i do feel in limbo right now because he hasnt actualy been diagnosed yet so dont know what or who to turn to for help because i cant say for def what his condition is but i am determened to fight for my sons diagnosis and his education , i do feel main stream school is to much for him he isnt coping he hates going and often pretends to be unwell its getting to the stage i feel bad sending him in .

as for school action plus again im sorry to be naive but im really not sure i think it has been mentiond at a meeting with the school so dont know if they are involved ,if its s a p that put an action plan in place then review it every so often then yes this is being done , i think i need to contact a help or support agency that can maybe come to the meetings at the school with me as try as i do i just cant understand them i feel them make me feel they are always right and my son has no rights which i know isnt true but thats the way they put things across even if i express to them i disagree with somthing it always ends up their way.

as for the exclusions being legal i dont think they were as the last time this happened he was excluded but the head teacher couldnt tell me for how long untill she got some advise from the head of education i thought at that point somthing wasnt right but after 4 days of the exclusion i got a call from the headteacher informing me the head of education advised her to include not exclude my son but she put it in a way for me to be greatful and advised me not to tell anyone as everyone would want this special treatment {her words } she then went on to say i would have to sign paperwork for his absence saying i voluntery removed him from school for his own and others saftey this i refused to do and she told me it would be best as that way it wouldnt go on his record as an exclusion when she had already told me she wasnt to exclude him , i still refused to sign then she gave me the legal jargin about paper work and a child being abscent from school with no reason and how because she sent him home with an exclusion that didnt exist if he was to be out and about if somthing was to happen to him she would have the blame ,in other words she was putting the bame on me .still i didnt sign but dont know what paper work was filed for his abscence if any.

this is when the head of education supplied extra money to the school budget as they had none left for a ta to do 1 to 1 for my son on his return to school after seeing an ed phycologist for a risk assesment whom concluded my son couldnt be at the school unless he is seperated from his peers at break and lunch times he even eats his lunch with the ta and not the other kids .

today was his first day back after the holidays and since my last post i have learned the ta is no longer available due to money shortages so today at break and lunch my son was left in the school library and told to clean it , when i asked the assistent head about this i was told about the ta and how they are 2 pa abscent and had to do somthing to keep my son occupied ,i am so angry with the school right now i have tried my hardest to keep calm and be patient with them but everything they say they will do always seems to fade away after time then they wonder why my son is behaving this way .

im so sorry to go on but i think i need to get as much info as possiable to help my son but dont know if i can go to other help support agencies as i dont have a name for what is wrong {no diagnosise yet }so will they see it as they cant help .?

 

 

I think most of us on this forum have experienced something similar to the above at some point.

But the important thing is that you start learning about the SEN process. Contact the organisations mentioned especially the NAS and IPSEA.

Get the Parent Partnership involved because they can take notes and be witnesses to anything you are told.

What would be useful, is if something like the above happens again, send in a clarification letter eg. "further to our conversation regarding my son's exclusion from school you informed me that you wanted me to sign saying that I had removed my son voluntarily because you said it would look bad if you had excluded him because you did not have the staff to support him." etc. That should pull them up sharply.

You could even now send in a clarification letter about the above saying that "you are confused about the Heads request for you to sign papers saying that you voluntarily removed your son from school as this was not the case as he had been excluded. Could you please send me details of why my son was excluded and what procedure you followed to document this exclusion.

Don't be afraid of his exclusion being recorded. Unfortunately our children sometimes need to have these things detailed before we can "prove" that they need the support they are not getting.

On one occasion my son went on a school trip. He was not allowed to stay overnight with the other children - I had to come and collect him. He got very upset and angry and tried to hit his teacher and TA. I asked them to put in writing the fact that the school did not feel that they could cope with him overnight as they did not have the training or the staff, and to also detail the fact that he attempted to hit them and to include how long it took them to calm him down. I used this letter as part of my tribunal paperwork. The school were not particularly happy to put these things in detail as they felt it reflected badly on them. But I'm afraid we can't wait, pussy footing around trying to keep up appearances. My son needed the support he eventually got, and he needed to be in a different school - which we also got.

It is important to try to keep a good relationship with school, so do not get into any shouting or screaming matches with them as it only reflects badly on you. But do document everything in writing as that is your written evidence if you ever need to go to an educational tribunal. Without it school can just deny that anything has happened or blame you in some way.

The Parent Partnership should also know about legal exclusions and so always involve them.

All schools have some funding for SEN, you can find out from the LEA or write and ask the school themselves what their funding is for SEN children. In our area it is the first 15 hours of support - but that isn't necessarily one to one support, it can be small group support. But it might be worth knowing what your school does receive and ask them to specify how they are using that allocation to meet your son's needs. Sometimes that is enough to ensure the school is providing the maximum for your child. If at that point it still is not enough, and he is not making progress in ALL areas of development (language, social, emotional, academic etc), then you can ask for an assessment towards a Statement.

You can request this when you have two IEPs. But if the school have not been doing things right the LEA sometimes throws the request out and says that the school could be doing more. So it is important to have the PP on board and ensure that school is doing everything they should.

If your child definately needs TA support, and school cannot provide one because of funding shortages or staffing shortages, then that is also a reason to ask for an assessment because a Statement means the school and LEA are legally bound to provide the supports, and therefore if a TA is off sick or is leaving the school have to find a replacement asap and any additional funding the school requires on top of the delegated SEN funding to fulfill the Statement, the LEA has to meet or top up this shortfall.

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