Advice Needed

[sheuk]

Hi, I really don't know what to do, my 10 year old son has ASD and also enuresis, with regard to the enuresis he has a letter in place at school from the hospital advising that when he says he needs to go to the toilet he should be allowed to go straight away ie not wait 5 mins--the school has complied with this but, and heres the problem, my son goes into lessons and after a while says he needs to go toilet, he then stays in the toilet for the rest of the lesson.

[Mandapanda]

Hi, I really don't know what to do, my 10 year old son has ASD and also enuresis, with regard to the enuresis he has a letter in place at school from the hospital advising that when he says he needs to go to the toilet he should be allowed to go straight away ie not wait 5 mins--the school has complied with this but, and heres the problem, my son goes into lessons and after a while says he needs to go toilet, he then stays in the toilet for the rest of the lesson.

 

Hi sheuk

 

I had a little chuckle at this! Is he avoiding being in class - this is obvious but may not be the reason he does it. Does he realise he can go back into class after going to the toilet, or maybe he doesn't want everybody looking at him as he comes back.

 

[sheuk]

Hi sheuk

 

I had a little chuckle at this! Is he avoiding being in class - this is obvious but may not be the reason he does it. Does he realise he can go back into class after going to the toilet, or maybe he doesn't want everybody looking at him as he comes back.

 

 

Hi, thanks for replying, he is avoiding being in class, he has a strong dislike of school, he is a very isolated person having no friends and being constantly teased he seems to prefer being on his own and he's worked out a perfect way to get out of being in class and being alone

[Mandapanda]

Hi, thanks for replying, he is avoiding being in class, he has a strong dislike of school, he is a very isolated person having no friends and being constantly teased he seems to prefer being on his own and he's worked out a perfect way to get out of being in class and being alone

 

Hi

 

Does he have a Statement? Speaking from my experience, I would say you need to set the wheels in motion as soon as possible. My son (now 13) always hated school and struggled through infants and juniors. When he went to Secondary School he went into full meltdown and ended up depressed with severe anxiety and school phobia and we have had no choice but to home school. Due to stresses at home he could no longer cope with trying so hard to fit in at school.

 

Getting your son as much help as is possible is really important now to make his school life as enjoyable and comfortable as possible for his needs. Please don't think "Oh it will pass". You have nothing to lose by getting him help and an awful lot to lose by not getting him help.

 

I'm not saying your son will go through what my son has, but just that if we had help early on, his life at school could have been sufficiently altered for things not to deteriorate so much which destroyed his self-esteem. My son suffered silently until things got so bad he could no longer do that. I regret not taking more notice of his complaints earlier and not pushing harder to get help when he was younger.

 

My older son always seemed the one with more difficulties, but my younger son was just better at hiding his.

[sheuk]

that's really useful, I have to admit he doesn't have a statement, I've broached the subject in the past with the SENCO but she said she didn't feel we need to be looking at that yet although I was going to push a bit harder in the next school year (year 6) as preparation for secondary school as I do have serious concerns in that area

[sheuk]

I have to say he is very much ''the glass is half empty'' sort of person anyway

[Sooze2]

I would start the statementing process now rather than waiting, the whole process took well over a year from when I persuaded school to Request Stat Assessment because school dragged their heals so much in getting the paper work in order. I know of a couple of people who's school (my son's!) said they would definately do it and then say that they may as well leave it till they started Secondary but I think starting Secondary is such a massive change for our kids that things need to be in place before they get there so all the preparation for the change can be done throughout year 6.

 

My son used to leave the class room regularly when he was in year 3. When he'd had enough, got stressed or just got bored he would go to the loo and play with his cars or lego men in the sink. It used to take the teacher a while to realise he had gone. Perhaps the TA could tell him he can go to the loo but that he needs to be back in 5 minutes and tell him she will go and bring him back to class if he doesn't return in time. My year 5 boy still has no idea of time and telling him 5 minutes may as well be telling him next week so he will either ask you if the time is up every 3 seconds if its something he wants to do or dissapear and never come back if its something he's not interested in! The class TA should be able to do this, if you ask them to in a letter and then they complain that he is still spending a while in the loo it is a good argument to put to the SENCO that he needs support in school

[baranigirl]

give him a timer that the teacher presses as he leaves and he has to return before it blings?

 

my oldest dd had enuresis and at 16 she still refuses to use the toilets at school or anywhere public, the enuresis did pass by her 13th birthday tho!