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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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mcguin

He's asking questions i dont know how to answer

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mcguin   

hi sorry i dont really know were to start , my 7 yr old son is currently in the process of being assesed by camhs for aspergers ,i dont know what stage we are at he had the screening from phycologist and has now been refered to a phyciatrist we have the appointment this wednesday .

witout going in to great detail regarding the verious things my son does and the experiances we are having with him as this is all in my previous topic if you would like to have a look.

 

my problem now is other things are happening and they are happening fast maybe its things i just haven't noticed but my son is actually bringing them to my attention like today he was going on about odd and even and i wasnt paying attention a he was just mumbeling to himself but when i asked him what he was saying he said i dont like odd numbers i then said what do you mean ,he said for example if you give me 3 pieces of food i would rather have 2 or 4 as they would taste better and i wouldnt eat if its in an odd number ,i said okay do you think this is somthing to do with a particular food i give you ,he then said no because its not just food that was an example its everything i hate odd numbers they are bad , he then asked why he felt that way about anything with an odd number and he needs everything to be even .

then later this evening he was sitting with his dad and said why am i weird we said to him your not weird has someone said this but he replied no but i think im weireder than other people we told him we defenetly isnt but he said i feel different i know i am different i am not the same as the other kids in school but why

 

we have had no diagnosise of anything yet but as a mother i know somthing just isnt right but i feel in limbo and have done for such a long time its breaking my heart i feel as my son is getting older he too is realising things as he has moments every now and then when he suddenly out the blue askes questions like the ones i have mentioned

about a month ago he was just sitting next to me and he said mum why do i count the letters in the sentances that everyone says to me he then went on to tell me when someone is talking to him be will spell out the words they say in his head then count how many letters they have in them he even does it with things on tv or when he sees signs out side he asked me why he does this he dosnt want to do it as it gives him a sore head but he cant stop doing it he then went on to ask me not to tell anyone as he thinks its weird .

i dont understand do you thing he has just got to a stage or age even were he is aware somthing is wrong but just doesnt understand it himself

 

any advice you can give i would be very greatful as i have no answers for him

Edited by mcguin

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KezT   

have you said anything to him about why he's seeing all the "doctors"? Children aren't stupid and they know that something is going on.

 

You could discuss in general terms about the autistic spectrum. We made DS a sliding scale of different abilities and showed him how he was high on some but low on others, that his ASD meant that he found some things very difficult, but some things very easy - rather like some children find it very difficult to read or do maths, which he finds very easy.

 

maybe a general discussion about how everyone is different - there is no such thing as "normal" whatever it looks like from outside.

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mcguin   

we have spoke to him about how everyone is different maybe we will speak to him about the autistic spectrum

i will see if i can find any good books for kids explaining this .

many thanks for your reply.

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lil_me   

Food numbers - works for some

 

Explain that if he has 3, he can eat the '2nd' one then the '2nd' one then chop the other in half and keep eating the second one until it's gone/a little left. Or he can cut them all in half to have 6 :) ways and means

 

Giving them something to count can help, sometimes even if it hurts he'll need to do it....if that makes sense.

 

http://books.google.com/books?id=PKfTsGo3s...;q=&f=false can be a good book when they are about 7 years old

Edited by lil_me

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Hi mcguin

 

My eldest is 16 and he still has to cut his food up symmetrically. He applies ketchup symmetrically too! He was very late using cutlery and hated us cutting his food up because we would just cut it randomly.

 

'I am Special' by Peter Vanmeulen is a workbook which introduces young people to autistic spectrum disorders. I wish I had had this when my sons were 7, especially the younger one, when I got it he felt it was 'too young' for him. It helps the child see what they are good at, how they see themselves, how others see them, and can help build self-confidence and a sense of identity. I believe there may be another one specifically aimed at self-confidence.

 

There are also books written by Luke Jackson, I think he was about 11 when he wrote his first book about living with Asperger's Syndrome.

 

 

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Sally44   

My son also knows that he is different and at times will ask questions or make statements that can sometimes be heartbreaking eg. if I try really hard at school, and I learn all my letters, and I don't forget them, will I then be like other kids?' :tearful:

The best thing you can do is to be honest with your child.

He most likely is different. Everyone is different, but his differences in some areas are going to be greater.

Talk to him about the autistic spectrum. Give him examples of things he struggles with and things he is really good at.

Find some good ASD role models that he can think about.

Find a way of recording good days, and celebrate achievements - I have started using a scrap book for my son and in this way we record his good days at school, we may take photos of his brilliant models etc.

 

Regarding the odd,even numbers thing. I have a friend whose daughter has OCD. Not severely, and she has problems with anything that works out at an odd number. Or it might not be anything to do with OCD at all and might just be more of a 'spectrum' thing. But I would mention it next time you see professionals. It might be that the 'odd' number is kind of left out isn't it and may seem like an untidy end in some way or appear unresolved because you cannot put it anywhere. TBH I always used to find that strange in mathematics, how you could go through a complicated process and get a solution that was xxx and x 'left over'. To be that made it appeare as though the mathematical process had not actually worked unless there was nothing left over. And don't let me get onto fractions. It took me over a year to click onto them and understand it. Now i'm in my late 40's and don't use anything I learnt in school and can't remember it even if I wanted to. :whistle:

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mcguin   

thanks everyone , i will mention this on wednesday when we go to the phyciatrist , im not wanting to get my hopes built up for anything at this meeting but in a way i really hope we get somthing from it as im at the stage i feel i cant bang my head off anymore brick walls :tearful:

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Shnoing   

When he's able to count the letters at the speed people are talking to him, he's really fast. I'd say that's some 'savant' ability you've got there. Does he get the meaning of the sentences, too?

I dont't know whether he likes watching movies but you might try 'Rain Man'. He might get some similarities just by watching it.

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mcguin   
When he's able to count the letters at the speed people are talking to him, he's really fast. I'd say that's some 'savant' ability you've got there. Does he get the meaning of the sentences, too?

I dont't know whether he likes watching movies but you might try 'Rain Man'. He might get some similarities just by watching it.

 

no he doesnt get the meaning of most sentences

do you know i dont think i have even watched rain man but i'm going to make a point of watching it as a few people have mentioned it to me regarding my son.

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KezT   

Depending how sure you are about the likely dx, you can discuss ASDs in general or even Aspergers in specific and ask does he think it sounds like him.

 

We started using the word Asperger's before DS was formally diagnosed (much to the paed's horror I must add), because by then it was obvious that he had "something" which was almost certainly AS - and it was easier to use a word to explain to him and others abot his difficulties than to just say "well he has problems" - and I felt that if a different dx was agreed in the end, we could always change the word without making any impact on what is difficulties were!

 

I have to clarify - we didn't use the word until we were well through the dx process and it had been suggested by several different professionals as well as researched by us, and we were pretty certain as to final dx. Although I would think you would be fairly safe discussing ASD's which is very generic!

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JsMum   

record all the discussions you have posted here, and give it to the doctors so its in his notes, this is good example of his thinking, feelings and communication difficutlies and needs to be shared.

 

There could be a OCD behaviour but these are also charachters in the ASD too.

 

I would definately be honest with your son, even if he has AS/ASD he is still going to be different to others so may not see any resemblance in the film rain man either, my son has severe communication, speech and lanaguage but he is verbal and even though he may look like he is understanding the conversation much of it is too complex and he misinturprits the situation and has a very different perspective on things.

 

We went throw the different diagnosis early with J as he was coming home saying things like Im stupid, so they soon pick up other lables if we dont express there may be a reason to why they feel like they do, and explain Autistic Spectrum/ADHD/Dyslexia OCD ect....

 

There is some brilliant books on the National Autistic Society website that are aimed at explaining the procedures of an assessment, my son was dx with ADHD first and then more as he grew older so we have been very honest from the start.

 

Maybe look at famous people he knows that he wouldnt ever think has ADHD/OCD/Autism. this is what my sons school has done on a wall covered it with famous people with Autism and he was totally surprised as you wouldnt realise it or you would go oh ya, such as Jim Carrey and Will smith ect....

 

have attended any ASD parent group, I recommend this, many join in assessment stages, so do look into this also.

 

JsMumxxx

 

 

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