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Sooze2

cuddley toys

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I was just wondering at what age do boys stop having cuddley toys in bed with them? Probably a silly question but DS has made up his bed on the floor the last couple of nights (usually in a high sleeper) and he has brought half his soft toys off the bed and lined them all up behind him next to his head. He is 10 now and in year 5, one of the toys weres a dress. I'm not bothered about this but I wondered when I should be aware that his freinds will start noticing that he still does this and they don't have these type of things anymore. One of the mums thinks cuddley toys are for babies only and takes them away once they start school, she made a comment about someone else a while ago.

 

 

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hi i wouldnt worry about it at all i have 12 year old NT boy and he was probably about 11 before he got rid of his teddies off his bed,then they move on quickly and just before xmas he had a good clear out and got rid of many tens of teddies,still keeping his special one ,although its not on his bed,so lets face it its not harming anyone if it makes him feel secure let him be,we all want kids to be kids and they grow up far too quickly as it is.hope this helps

regards julia.

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My lad is 16 and still has 12 soft toys in his bed, that's where they live. They each have their specific place, in two lines next to his pillow. It's not as if anybody will find out about it, unless he tells people. I wouldn't worry about it. I have a cuddly dog that I like to cuddle in bed too, and a hot water bottle at the moment. :whistle:

 

~ Mel ~

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Well I am now officially 20 with Autism and still sleep in bed with cuddly toys, its my Dolphin Cuddly toy and without it and my dolphin night light i wouldnt have a good nights sleep. Also keep it with me in my bag or in my hand when I'm feeling sad it helps me alot.

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My niece who is NT still has lots of cuddly toys. Marcus stopped sleeping with his crash bandicoot toy at about 11 but it is still in his room and woe betide me if i move it. Piers carries his favourite bear everywhere with him DH thinks he is too old but it doesn,t bother me. Yes he is 5 but small for his age and it gives him great comfort. Somenights he can barely get into bed for his toys. Both of my boys and another 2 ASD boys I know in Piers school ahve always carried something to school with them which they hand to mum just before going into class I think it is something familiar for them. Lydia always has a little soft toy in her book bag which I know she goes and finds when she is feeling sad or missing me. She has aquick cuddle and then goes back to class, her teacher knows and doesn,t mind.

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My 11.5 yr old has about 20 toys of various sizes in his bed. He also has a rubber cover from one of the Wii remotes and a rubber toilet plunger !! My only concern is something getting left in the tangle of sheets when I put the covers through the wash.

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My Son also still has his cuddly teddy, he has many and in his sensory room there inside his Den, for J there a great comfort and offer him security, he has a special teddy he takes everywhere with him especially residential school but this week he forgot him and I thought he would be really upset but he has coped with it really well, I did offer to send him in the post but he said "W" wouldnt be able to breath and he wouldnt like that, so he has decided to wait for him, and said he will try and not forget him next time, he has slowly started to seperate more and more from his other teddys, he understands many of NT friends dont have them as they have told him that they dont have because thier mums took them away Js face went white as a sheet, and asked me if I will do that to his Teddys, I said no, he was reassurred, he hates it when his friends punch and attack his teddies and gets very angry with them, they dont do it as much now, and they see he does have a firm attatchement to his Teddies, but he is beginning to slowly detatch but I wouldnt get rid of them, especially as one is bigger than him and so just replying to reasurre you that your not doing anything out of the ordinary.

 

JsMumxxx

 

Edited by JsMum

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Thats lovely. I do think that its the parents that have the problem with this because a lot of Mums have said they took them away when they reached a certain age as a lot of you have said. What a shame to take away their comfort isn't it! Some of his freinds have said their mums have taken them away too so its obvious they would still have them if it wasn't for that. I cuddled a fluffy Welsh Guard until I met DH at 24.

 

Its the same with DS sleeping on the floor, parents think it's wierd but I'm sure some of their kids would do it too if they were allowed, I don't really take any notice until someone comments on it.

 

Perhaps all this just lets me know that I am probably a bit different myself because I don't understand why I shouldn't let him do these things especially when it comes to him sleeping - well - he sleeps now which is still a novelty!! :lol:

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I used to collect teddies,I have about 30 from all over the world(the french one had an "accident" tough so has lost some stuffing when we moved) When I came to the UK I couldnt bring them so I had to wait three years before being reunited,but I didnt have anywhere to keep them and my eldest son hates ,even as a baby,stuffed toys.

 

When Sam started walking at one he managed to find one and loves them.He hasnt got much space for them and dont really want all of them in his room because they collect dust,so we rotate them once a week.He has three at a time.He also has one little Harrods bear at school in his quiet corner.He has always told kids he has teddies and is not ashamed,and generally he has had no negative remarks made about it :) He is 6 and a half by the way !

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I thought cuddley toys were compulsary. :), they are in our house, stuffed full of the things.

 

My son ( nearly10) has 15 or 20 in his room, that's not counting all the ones that have been put away due to lack of space.

They do tend to migrate around the house, and join ours, my wife's and mine :blink: from time to time, I think they party when we are not there.

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I have my teddies in my bed still and a large collection related to my obsession on my shelf (I only moved them there because each has a place in bed and it was taking me ages to replace them every morning but now they stay in their places :rolleyes:). I can just about get away with it because I'm female and a student (although I do have a few too many) but I would never give them up because I do need them and at least one gets packed if I have to go away overnight. If anyone has a problem with them, then I see it as their problem, because me having them does absolutely no one any harm what so ever. If people have a problem, it is because they're choosing it to be a problem.

 

My older severely autistic brother used to have a large collection of teddies. When he was moved into a hospital environment under the mental health act the horrible people who were supposedly caring for him took all his teddies away (apart from one he somehow managed to hide - we never did find out how, all I can say is good on him!! :thumbs:) - loosing his soft toys absolutely destroyed him as he had no understanding of why they were taken away and lost the comfort they provided. The rationale to get rid of them was that he was an adult and should act like one - but surely as an adult you can make choices about what you do and also trying to treat him as a 'normal' adult negates that he does have different needs and reactions.

 

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My older severely autistic brother used to have a large collection of teddies. When he was moved into a hospital environment under the mental health act the horrible people who were supposedly caring for him took all his teddies away (apart from one he somehow managed to hide - we never did find out how, all I can say is good on him!! :thumbs:) - loosing his soft toys absolutely destroyed him as he had no understanding of why they were taken away and lost the comfort they provided. The rationale to get rid of them was that he was an adult and should act like one - but surely as an adult you can make choices about what you do and also trying to treat him as a 'normal' adult negates that he does have different needs and reactions.

 

That is so very sad - your poor brother!

Edited by Sooze2

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Hi

 

OJ, nearly 14 now still takes two teddies to bed every night - his Merrythought teddy (given to him by my mum when he was born) and a large TY teddy. In the last year he has started to go to sleepovers, sometimes with 5 or 6 boys his age and he takes his teddies - he just brazens it out and actually they don't tease him cos I think deep down most of them still have one or wish they did!!

 

The hundreds of other cuddly toys are in his wardrobe, in the spare room and in the loft - not to be parted with yet!!!

 

Stella xx

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I think deep down most of them still have one or wish they did!!

I suspect that is very very true. :thumbs: Kids have to grow up too fast nowadays for no reason at all. I do often wonder how many of the social pressures to conform are things that kids actually really want to do or whether they're doing them because they're driven to believe they have to. We forget that they are still children sometimes, I think. :)

 

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what you also have to take into consideration is there developmental age range, though he might be 10 yr old biologically, he may not be emotionally or socially, my son is around five years behind his peers age in emotional development, so you need to meet yourchilds needs not what his peers are.

 

We all have an inner child too, just look at the average man, there around 8yrs old really!

 

JsMumxxx

 

Edited by JsMum

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