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Does anyone else have family who refuse to accept diagonosis, or indeed that there is any problem at all?

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My son is now 18. He was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia at 15, after years of problems.

 

Last night we went to a family party. My sister-in-law started to grill me (yet again) on what AS is, and had he been diagnosed, or was it just me saying he had AS. She was really antagonistic. She told me that my mother-in-law has told her that my son doesn't have AS. This has led to a fall out that we will probably never get over.

 

My son has had awful problems lately, which we have not shared with my husband's side of the family, as his parents have been ill and my husband doesn't want to burden them. They probably wouldn't believe us anyway.

 

My family are much more accepting, probably helped by the fact that my nephew (on our side) also has AS.

 

My husband is very close to his family, and this must be very difficult for him. His family never speak to him about my son's AS, but I always get the questions. I think that they believe I'm making it all up! I can't see what I'd have to gain from this?

 

Does anyone else have problems like this?

 

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I had a lot of these kind of issues with my mum and sister when Dd1 was younger. They used to think I was making up her difficulties in fact it has only been the last couple of years since Dd1 left home and had a baby that they have finally acknowledged that she has difficulties. My mum used to say things like " its cos she's bright" or " shes never any trouble for me" not very helpful!!! B)

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Hi AnGee,

 

Yes, we have much the same problem with my in-laws. My lad is 16 and they've never really accepted his AS, although I think they're FINALLY starting to get it a bit more (*crosses fingers*). My husband doesn't help the situation, if I'm honest. He has never been able to talk to his parents or brother and sister and puts on a brave face about everything, it's just his nature. Consequently, whenever they'd phone he'd just say everything is fine, oh, Jay, he's fine, everything's fine. It meant that when I tried to talk to them about Jay's problems to try and get some support from them (my parents are both dead) then it was a question of, well, C says everything is fine so it must be all in my head or I'm just exagerating to get attention or sympathy or whatever, they never took me seriously.

 

Over the years me and DH have had numerous conversations about it, but he doesn't feel able to 'burden' them or open up to them, so consequently we get no support. He wants more support but he's not willing to ask for it and he doesn't back me up either, so in a face-to-face situation, if I'm trying to explain something about Jay to his mother and she contradicts me or questions me, he'll sit there and won't back me up, almost making me out to be a lier because he doesn't want to make waves with his mother. I find it extremely frustrating and hurtful but am resigned now really to dealing with it alone as there is no support for me and DH doesn't seem to want or need it.

 

So, I feel for you. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi AnGee,

 

Yes, we have much the same problem with my in-laws. My lad is 16 and they've never really accepted his AS, although I think they're FINALLY starting to get it a bit more (*crosses fingers*). My husband doesn't help the situation, if I'm honest. He has never been able to talk to his parents or brother and sister and puts on a brave face about everything, it's just his nature. Consequently, whenever they'd phone he'd just say everything is fine, oh, Jay, he's fine, everything's fine. It meant that when I tried to talk to them about Jay's problems to try and get some support from them (my parents are both dead) then it was a question of, well, C says everything is fine so it must be all in my head or I'm just exagerating to get attention or sympathy or whatever, they never took me seriously.

 

Over the years me and DH have had numerous conversations about it, but he doesn't feel able to 'burden' them or open up to them, so consequently we get no support. He wants more support but he's not willing to ask for it and he doesn't back me up either, so in a face-to-face situation, if I'm trying to explain something about Jay to his mother and she contradicts me or questions me, he'll sit there and won't back me up, almost making me out to be a lier because he doesn't want to make waves with his mother. I find it extremely frustrating and hurtful but am resigned now really to dealing with it alone as there is no support for me and DH doesn't seem to want or need it.

 

So, I feel for you. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

 

hi know excatly what you mean my family are the same dont want to belive it and i dont think they ever will :wallbash: i come to the conclusion that they never will so unfortunalty they never will and its really not worth all the hassle i get from them so i dont speak to them at all now either for me and my family that way :rolleyes: you are not alone as they say you can choose your friends but you cant choose your relatives a reall shame lol i want to change mine but would anyone want them lol

Edited by duncansmum

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We had similar problems with my family, as my husbands parents have passed away quite some time ago. Looking back, his Mum was the one that showed signs of ASD, and was very hard to get on with. My own big family took ages to believe our son had ASD, and it kept being implied that we were putting a label on him. Most of them are very supportive now, and have changed what they think about it all. My husband has always been very supportive and now recognises that he has traits of ASD as well. The best thing for me was when he went to one of the NAS help seminars about ASD. He really enjoyed it and can finally understand our sons ASD, and traits of his own. I would suggest that you could try and get a family member to go with you to a seminar that doesn't quite believe about ASD. I am taking my daughter to one in June, as she is quite bad towards her brother at the moment, and she is 20! We also think she has it as well, so think the seminar will be helpful for herself as well. Please don't think you have to do it all alone, hopefully in time family members will understand. We just challenge anyone now that has anything unhelpful to say about our son's ASD.

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My own family have always been fairly good to be honest but they saw Logan all the time (before we moved to London). I must admit though since he started talking 3 months ago they have higher expectations of him now - which is tricky as obviously he's just as autistic as he was three months ago! On the whole they are great though.

 

My ILs are seem to understand then will send us something about a 'cure' or say that they still think one day a switch in his brain might turn on. They live in a different country though so we only see them every few years so it's harder I think.

 

Frustrating though.

 

Lynne x

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My Mum doesn't accept my diagnosis. :tearful: To her, Autism is my brother who has severe Autism and learning difficulties. I'm not like him, so I can't be Autistic... :wallbash:

 

And yet when she wanted to insult me at Christmas, she told me I was like my brother... :(

 

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Does anyone else have family who refuse to accept diagonosis, or indeed that there is any problem at all?

 

What problem? There is no problem with my son at all, I should just get him to stand outside the front door for a while and he will soon behave - it worked with the other grandchildren and her own children. I did put the mother in laws advice into practice once and luckily I went to the front room window to make sure he was still there and he was gone - I found him in the park! He had just turned 3. He was supposed to be too scared to run away. Or I could smack him or lock him in his room - "didn't do you any harm, parents are too soft these days". ADHD is just a name people with naughty kids made up and they give them drugs because they are too lazy to discipline them - "actually ADHD was first recognised in 1845 Dad" - don't be so rediculous - sculks off to look at something very impotant in the garden etc etc etc etc

 

Its ok though - he's polite and he eats well, thats the main thing and we have all managed to avoid talking about anything real for the whole of our lives so we don't have to face up to the reality of anything. Dh accepts it now, but up till about a year ago he thought everything DS did was normal because he seemed just the same as he was as a child........................................ :whistle: He can't cope with him but thats normal!

 

So there is no support at all, just a very mad woman laughing insanely in the middle of the night :hypno:

 

 

Hugs for everyone. I am totally sure ASD and the like are inherited - how can there be so many people with a diagnosis or with children with a diagnosis that have so little support, perhaps it's a little like looking into a mirror for some members of the family and they just don't know how to deal with it. I know DS gets a quite few things from both me and DH - lack of sleep definately from me etc etc.

Edited by Sooze2

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YES YES YES!!

 

even ex hub doesnt think theres a problem. he has an attitude apparently <insane laugh> !! he hasnt told his family cos he doesnt want them to know how bad it gets and up to last week i hadnt told mine either. i just couldnt face the same attitude that sooze mentioned

 

i actually broke down on the phone to my mum last week when he got arrested and surprisingly she was fairly supportive (in her own way). luckily my new husband is very supportive thankfully as i cannot physcially do anything with ds now - tho i did offer him an out last week cos he 'didnt sign up for this' thank god he said he didnt want out cos not sure what i would have done if he said ok

 

everyone thinks its all fine and wonderful over here in la la land and if it isnt well he is just being naughty isnt he - its all those computer games dont u know!

 

 

 

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This seems to be a major issue for a lot of us. My mother was/is reluctant to acknowlege AD in either my wife or in my two sons. But she's coming around. I've been thinking a lot about this and just blogged about it on my website: www.malcolmmatthews.ca. Swing by and check it out. I'd love to hear further thoughts...

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... blogged about it on my website: www.malcolmmatthews.ca. Swing by and check it out. I'd love to hear further thoughts...

 

I liked your blog entry.

 

To get to the topic:

Does anyone else have family who refuse to accept diagonosis, or indeed that there is any problem at all?

All four grandparents of our autistic son refuse to see a problem. It wouldn't have existed in the 1950s/60s, either.

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I liked your blog entry.

 

To get to the topic:

 

All four grandparents of our autistic son refuse to see a problem. It wouldn't have existed in the 1950s/60s, either.

 

Shnoing -- Thanks for checking out my blog! I do have to say, my wife's parents have been very understanding and supportive of my son's diagnosis. I think that's for several reasons: My son really obsesses over movies and withdraws socially so his condition is pretty easy to "see"; my wife and I have done our homework and have been good about educating/guiding her parents toward an understanding of ASD; and they genuinely trust us when it comes to how we raise our boys. Grandparents are going to be tough cookies, though! For a lot of them, odd behaviour was "solved" with a spank and a lecture. And they love their grandkids so much that they can't imagine them as anything other than "perfect." But we can't expect them to be patient and understanding about our situation without being patient and understanding about theirs. The key for us is to keep our own stress and negativity out of the equation. Staying positive and focused on our children's needs trumps everything else.

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It's been interesting to read these replies - and sad.

 

This was my first post on here (in fact, I think this was my first post on any forum). I've found it really helpful - it's made me feel less alone (which is the idea I suppose!). I think I'll start to use the forum more often, and when I find a post where I can give a useful reply I will (I feel a bit more confident now).

 

Malcolm - Your blog was really useful. I don't think you have met anyone quite like my in laws though! They'll never get it. Never mind, we manage ok as we are. :thumbs:

 

 

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Hi.

We have Ben who is 11 and has AS.

We have been having a very difficult time with my brother in law.

He has organised a big birthday party for my MIL eightyth birthday.We live in England and she lives in NI.

We have had little contact with BIL in the last few years.He never asked how Ben is or what impact the AS diagnosis has had on Ben or ourselves.

 

He did manage to tell my MIL about the AS diagnosis before we talked to her.We were going to explain at a time when we could offer her some support and information.We did not just want to drop the information on her.However BIL got in first and mentioned it in the course of conversation without even telling us what he had done.MIL was worried sick. :tearful::tearful:

 

 

The birthday party is at a weekend.We cannot all go because the weekend is during term time and it would unsettle Ben too much.

We have an annual review just before and another important CAMHS meating just afterwards.

We have no support with Ben at all but do manage ok with both of us around at the weekends.

However we decided that it was not an option for D to go away for the weekend in term time leaving me alone.I do most of the home stuff Mon-Fri.So it would amount to me doing a fortnight without a break.Ben would also miss D badly if he was away at the weekend.

We told MIL and the other ILs that D could not come.Everyone else has been really supportive.However BIL was awful.He went on and on about how I should allow D to go to the party .He just would not accept my explanation of the situation and kept asking why I cannot get someone to help.

D has been so upsett and cross that last night was the first night since last Friday that he has slept ok.

I think some people just do not understand. :tearful::tearful::wallbash::wallbash:

Karen.

Edited by Karen A

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Hello

 

I have had a similar experience to everyone else here. My youngest is only 4 and also has a physical condition which my MIL has disregarded as 'unimportant' and asked us if it's real or whether his doctor is a real doctor. (He actually goes to Great Ormond Street for his treatment - obviously, they often deal in 'made up' conditions GRRRR)

 

So, my husband has just been diagnosed finally with AS and his mum and sister have the traits strongly too but he can't tell them because they think we are just enjoying labelling everybody or something! She thinks I'm making stuff up all the time and is totally unsympathetic. We have 4 children and the only child with any 'label' is my youngest (at the moment!) so we're hardly label crazy!

 

My family, on the other hand, are kind of supportive but never dismissive. They are interested and sympathetic iykwim. But they don't really know much about ASDs (apart from my brother whose son has Downs Syndrome and so knows quite a bit about various things as they suspected he had an ASD at one point too).

 

I have to say, the worse thing for me at the moment is friends who think that my 4yo is only the way he is because of me. I find this utterly depressing and upsetting. I have responded to his needs, not created them!

 

<sigh>

 

Becky

xx

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My son is now 18. He was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia at 15, after years of problems.

 

Last night we went to a family party. My sister-in-law started to grill me (yet again) on what AS is, and had he been diagnosed, or was it just me saying he had AS. She was really antagonistic. She told me that my mother-in-law has told her that my son doesn't have AS. This has led to a fall out that we will probably never get over.

 

My son has had awful problems lately, which we have not shared with my husband's side of the family, as his parents have been ill and my husband doesn't want to burden them. They probably wouldn't believe us anyway.

 

My family are much more accepting, probably helped by the fact that my nephew (on our side) also has AS.

 

My husband is very close to his family, and this must be very difficult for him. His family never speak to him about my son's AS, but I always get the questions. I think that they believe I'm making it all up! I can't see what I'd have to gain from this?

 

Does anyone else have problems like this?

 

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Hello AnGee,

 

Totally understand where you are coming from and what you are going through. I could have emailed this almost the same. What we have done is not see ILs as much, as they don't understand ms either, both conditions have brought blessings in disguise as relapse remitting ms is not so obvious to other people but mainly to the sufferer and with our sons (both ASD) i was blamed and still am for not encourging them to socialise yet MIL refuses to go out with us when i have offered. For instance to a support group for people (MIL her son has ms) with ms and she has not gone once, NOT EVEN ONCE to see her sons friends who are not in wheelchairs but walk with sticks. MIL herself is aloof at times. As for FIL, least said about him the better.

 

Since we have not asked her to child mind our son anymore they have been better towards us, having said that a recent visit where Grandad was being antaganistic towards us has made me doubt further visits again. Its a bit long winded but if you want to email me privately i have my email details here i think anyway. Sorry new to this site and it will take me a while to get used to knowing where everything is.

 

Like you, i always get the questions, why is he doing this and why is he doing that, FIL would ask me why is he walking on tip toe still, looks at me as if i have all the answers or is it my fault look that he gives me. They look at me as if i am in charge and ask me other stuff that should be personal to a husband and wife and OH (other half) won't say anything except when we get home he says to me just say nothing, they don't need to know. Things like finances, but i have started to use a phrase, its goes something like this, ' I know you are trying to be helpful and mean well, and thanks for your interest but we like to follow the professionals advice and the specialists thanks, when it comes to our childrens welfare. Should they repeat there advice to you or air their doubts to you say again, (using the broken record routine) and follow word for word and then expect a tut and a look and see how they change the conversation quickly. To me ,its a polite way of saying indirectly 'look its none of your business if you are not going to believe me i won't wast my breath explaining anymore as i need to save my energy and my time is better spent on my children than your attitude.

 

If you don't speak about it, at some time they hate not knowing, they ask eventually and if you give them a chance to put you down they do it, so don't let them get a word in when they start, cut their intro. You do have to be strong, and when they are nice and meaningful they expect you to drop your guard, my adivce would be don't. be prepared.

 

My side of the family are much more accepting as they have seen how bad the eldest was and seen how the young one behaves and initally i did have trouble in my side accepting that the second son could have ASD (how could i have two boys with this condition they were thinking)but i have showed reports to both my sister (my parents have passed on 10years this feb) and my OHs family and guess who believes me..... my side. Well i get the 'all children do that' and well you should do this. They think that all children with ASD are the same. Whats extra sad is that OH has two sisters who are teachers at a primary school and they have a autistic child and when the subject of autism comes up they turn to me and say ' the child that we look after , now he really is autistic'. He won't go to school.

 

Guess what our 7 year old is refusing school but becuase they (the sisters) are not to witness it they don't believe it. Sad isn't it. They only want people with good health and no problematic children in their family. Well tough sxxt. Sorry for the language but AnGee, its their loss. Eventually they will realise it but it just takes time.

 

It is difficult with your 18 year old, can i ask is it mild or moderate diffiulties he has ? .Our eldest is 18 and we are having problems with him today about going out with some workmates (prospects via resources for autism got him a job with a little help from me). Its confusing at times as you can be unsure if the teenager nature is taking over or autism. I have had to explain why i need to know the names (christan names) of his workmates in case anything happens to him then i know who he is with. Your typical teenager would understand why but refuse to give names and be just damned awkward but our son could not understand why i needed to know, i said to him 'in case anything happens to you', 'but mum', he says 'you can't stop it happening', 'no but i can ask the person who you were with, should anything happen to you. I tried to explain to him what insurance is, 'why do we have insurance, you know incase anything happens, well if something should happen i can find out through your friends'. 'Does it matter' he said,' i would be dead'. 'Anyway i am not a car so why are you talking about insurance'. (wish i could tape record him) Some conversations are absolutely priceless. Sorry for my ramblings about us but just wanted to show you, you are not alone.

 

Good luck with the inlaws, remember whats the difference between in laws and outlaws ... Outlaws are wanted. Be careful, this phrase works both ways.

 

love sandra

 

 

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I have had similar problems with family not accepting my Aspergers.

 

I personally see AS traits in my dad and my brother, though my dad still says he thinks the psychologists got it wrong and I am perfectly normal, while my brother seems to get a bit embarrassed any time it is mentioned. I sometimes wonder if they see it in themselves but are kind of in denial.

 

My step sister just saw me as a naughty, attention-seeking brat and thinks anyone who doesn't juggle motherhood with full time work and part time study is a waste of space. My aunt is pretty much the same and thinks my AS is just an excuse for me to get away with stuff, though I haven't seen her in 7 years (for good reason!).

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Hi

My sons own father doesnt accept his AS in fact he is even persuing a second opinion as of next week.So he has not told his family,I think if he did they will accept it as his family are well educated and his sister is a nurse and has experience working with ASD kids so I think she would understand.

 

My family knew from early on Sam has something different but not sure what,I actually lived with my father when he was born until he was nearly 2 and my brother would visit every weekend until he was 3 and he works with kids so always said I should go to the GP.The problem I do have is that even though they acknowledge the AS they dont understand his behaviour all the time.Sam has a tendancy to break things so they get angry if they buy him a toy and then its broken after two weeks,recently I started decorating his room as he had drawn all over the walls,and they were against it saying I should do it when he is 13 and he is only 6!!!I decided to do it anyway as I think if it looks neat he may have more respect and keep it clean.Generally he is tidy,makes his bed everyday packs his toys etc.

 

I think they have there own problems as well so I dont "shove" AS info onto them are ask them to understand more I just ignore things that get to me,but so far there has not been anything to serious to argue about.

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I never realised there were so many people in this situation. I am trying to purrsue a diagnosis for myself. it was mentioned to my mom a few months ago by the OT I was seeing and she was really defensive about it. she didn't want to give a history she said she wasn't goin to have anything to do with my assessment.

my mom is a nursery nurse for over 20 years and has worked in special schools- I'm not like those children, i'm perfectly 'normal' so there's no way I could have AS! and yet i get told often enough how weird i am and that i've got serious issues.

 

It's so frustrating, we have these difficulties and we need support but the people who are supposed to do that won't accept it. It's the reason I joined this forum, i can't talk to ayone else about these things.

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I never realised there were so many people in this situation. I am trying to purrsue a diagnosis for myself. it was mentioned to my mom a few months ago by the OT I was seeing and she was really defensive about it. she didn't want to give a history she said she wasn't goin to have anything to do with my assessment.

my mom is a nursery nurse for over 20 years and has worked in special schools- I'm not like those children, i'm perfectly 'normal' so there's no way I could have AS! and yet i get told often enough how weird i am and that i've got serious issues.

 

It's so frustrating, we have these difficulties and we need support but the people who are supposed to do that won't accept it. It's the reason I joined this forum, i can't talk to ayone else about these things.

 

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Hello Flutterby,

 

I hope that your mum will accept your request for diagnosis, i think its just going to take her longer. Its difficult i think for both of you and she might be worried about how this may change your relationship even more. I know its important to you to get as much history from her, but is there anyone else in the family that might be able to help ?. Maybe once she sees other family getting involved, she may be accepting and then become more involved.

 

I can relate in some ways with what you are going through. I needed to know about my history, what i was like in school, and i questioned myself, is it my fault now why my children are like this ?. Its no one fault. It took me a long time to learn that.

 

My mum died sometime ago and there was only my sisters to ask,they could not help as they are a lot older than me and at the time, they were at secondary school while i was just going to primary,so they would never have taken notice of me anyway. Both my parents are dead now and there are no remaning relatives other than my sisters.

 

I was diagnosed as being dyspraxic back in 2008. (i definately know my mum was dyspraxic too now) I needed to know because being assessed helped me answer a lot of questions i had. When i was diagnosed it explained a lot of things. There was a reason, an explanation and a better understanding about myself which was and is so important to me. Something i desperately needed to know. I hope this gets resolved for you both. Good luck with the assessment and hope your mum will understand eventually.

 

with best wishes

 

sarni.

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Sorry, haven't read all posts here but it caught my attention cos I thought it was just my family.

 

Even my son's dad, until recently, didn't believe it and if I hear "he'll grow out of it one more time" I'll scream!!

 

I think that's why many of us come here when we have problems. I just know if I spoke to my family about my concerns, they'd just shrug it off as a "phase" that he'll get over eventually, which just makes the problem worse.

 

Sharing and reading experiences here certainly helps and we can only hope that people will get the message eventually!

 

Good luck x

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--- if I hear "he'll grow out of it one more time" I'll scream!!

 

---- I just know if I spoke to my family about my concerns, they'd just shrug it off as a "phase" that he'll get over eventually, ----

Some of my family are fantastic, some are OK but some just dont get it at all.

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I think families can be difficult. My mum just wouldn't accept things, even though she took me for a brainscan when I was little because of what is now understood as ASD. My girl is very much sensory seeking, she goes way up high high high for a while, then crashes. It baffles my mother. She will ask my girl "why are you behaving like this?" when she's high, then get upset she can't reach my girl when she crashes and hides away to come down. What was funny though was a few weeks ago, out the blue, she said "We think we know where the Autism has come from" "Oh yeah?" I replied, and she said "It's come from your Dad's side of the family, their all the same you know" *Me nodding in agreement* :lol:

 

As for my husbands side of the family, they don't ever talk about it or ask. It's hush hush, sweep under the carpet. A while ago we went to a family party, we were assured there were going to be no balloons. (My girl was terrified to panic at the time) Only, when we turned up, the hall was full of them. The shock sent my girl straight into full blown panic meltdown. I couldn't get her anywhere near that room. One of her uncles said "leave it to me" with a wink. He bent down to try and talk to her, but in meltdown panic, she wasn't going to listen. He grabbed her hand and said, "ok sweetie come with me" I saw her draw back her foot, and with one swift action I grabbed her away before she landed one on him. :o This was one of her favorate people, and she had never, and I wouldn't have believed she would have gone for him, but she did. It wasn't nice, but they really do "get it" now. :lol:

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it's been a long time since I posted but yes yes yes... no one accepts my DD has AS it's a nightmare, its so obvious to us, but to others she is just naughty, my mum is terrible, I just think though its a generation thing and that she doesn't want there to be anything wrong with any of her grandchildren! My DD is now 16 and has moved from 10 months in a secure psychiatric hospital to a 52 week residential school, its been a nightmare and now her addiction to cutting herself is growing, she is fascinated by opening up scabs and cuts!! but social services see this as the school not meeting her needs!!! They don't get the AS side of her at all, she looks and acts very ' normal ' and wants to be what she feels is normal so will pretend! then when she can't hold it any longer she will blow!!

 

She used to be perfect for my mum but turn into damien omen the moment we got her into the car!

I just think it's hard for people to accept, I have given up trying to make them realise now, and when I get the lecture's on how she should know better I just ignore them! It's very difficult and frustrating but some people dont want to see it!

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Even at my age (41), my parents (particularly my mum) seem to be having problems accepting my recent diagnosis with AS and potentially ADD. This is despite them knowing (most of) my disasterous track record over the last 20-odd years.

 

Admittedly, I've never mentioned any psychological issues with them (I just don't feel that close to them), so, from their perspective, overnight I've gone from a middle-aged son, who leans towards being a constant disappointment, into someone with a "modern medical condition" they had never heard of before. My personal favourite quotes from my mum when she ambushed my shrink & I after my last appointment (it's in Sheffield so they've been giving me lifts there) were "Why has this only been happening since you've not been working?" and "But he doesn't have any of the symptoms in the book I'd read" (about AS, which I'd given her). Oh yeah, and don't forget the "you'll overcome this by yourself if you just want it badly enough" advice from my stepdad during the journey home.

 

Now, please, don't read this as me being an ungrateful brat, bitching about them showing confusion/concern their own way. All I'm trying to say is that I'm doing this for myself and not their sake. As much as it might upset/annoy/infuriate/embarrass/bewilder them, all you can do is keep working to help yourself (or the person you're responsible for) whilst still, if you're up to it, trying to help the other people around you understand. But, ultimately, that'll will be their choice and I/you have more important priorities.

 

 

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yes deffinately..

 

 

this is actually something similar to what i just posted called 'disapline'

 

my parents ans my sister think its just me letting him get away with it. OMG!!

 

and my sister who doesnt like my faince, blames him, saying ds is like it from him. again OMG, if this was the case them my 9 and 3 yr old would be like it too, my oh isnt even a angry person, he just doesnt do well in crouds, social family gatherings, says things silly and is sarcastic.. thats nothing!!

 

they think if i leave my oh then all ds's probs will go!! i am fuming its getting all on top of me now, and i am ready to burst!!

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Hi all,

I can identify with all of you who have families who aren't understanding or supportive. Maybe they don't realise how hurtful that is.

During such a family gathering, my ds wrote"F--- O--" (in full) on a piece of paper and stuck it on the wall!

My sentiments to them too, son lol!

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