Wondering if i have aspergers too?

[Thames]

Ive posted in 'meet and greet' about my 7 yr old son, it seems he has aspergers........im now wondering if i have it too?

 

Looking back at my own childhood and the difficulties i had throughout the school years has really got me wondering.

 

I grossly underachived at school despite being told how clever i was, i just found school really difficult just being there each day caused a lot of anxiety leading me to be refered to child guidance counselling.

 

I have been accused of being cold or robot like, when to me i am just being practical rather than getting emotional, crying etc seems pointless to me.

 

I do have friends but they are all friends i have known for years i am a little untrusting of new people.

 

I like my own company and i tend to deal with stuff myself rather than ask for help, i hate the idea of asking for help.

 

I have suspected my son had aspergers for about 2 yrs now and i accept that its just the way he is so im not looking for a reason why hes like that but its just kind of made something click in my head and brought up all sorts of stuff from childhood that ive put to the back of my mind.

 

i dont know what to say really it just kinds of all makes sense now!

 

anyone else feel the same or have any ideas??

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Apparently it's very common for a parent to be diagnosed or suspected of having an ASD during/after the diagnostic process of their child. My husband is undiagnosed, but just after my son was diagnosed with AS 4 years ago, two specialists separately tactfully enquiried about my husband. Apparently, ASDs can run in families, so there can be a clear gentic link. One of them 'clocked' the fact that at the meeting when I'd just been told my son had AS, I was sobbing uncontrollably (mainly out of sheer relief at finally having a diagnosis), whilst my husband sat unmoved whilst the consultant tried to console me and dished out the tissues!

 

Caroline.

[JsMum]

If there is a strong feeling that you possibly have AS the only way to really get a definate answer is to have an assessment done, via your GP or contact National Autistic Society who can help you go throw the process, there are Adult Aspergers Syndrome centes in the UK that can do assessments and its probably very high for adults who have children dx or suspected as having AS and only after reading what AS is do they begin to realise they have it too.

 

It must feel like a great weight has been lifted just coming to this point, but an assessment would determin that for you.

 

JsMumxxx

 

[Thames]

Thanks everyone for your replies

 

I just did this online test [are they reliable?]

 

the results were;

 

Your Aspie score: 148 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

Your MBTI type: ISTJ

 

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

 

 

Edited March 2, 2010 by Thames

[Malcolm Matthews]

Thanks everyone for your replies

 

I just did this online test [are they reliable?]

 

the results were;

 

Your Aspie score: 148 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

Your MBTI type: ISTJ

 

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

 

I've found the on-line test to be quite reliable actually. It was one of the first steps toward getting my wife diagnosed. (We tested it out on me, her, and a couple of friends.) It was interesting -- I took it on my wife's behalf (filling in answers for her), she took it on her own, and then we took it together for her then compared the three test results. Then we gathered written observations from some friends and family, all of my wife's school records, etc. and brought everything with us to the specialist who gave my wife a barrage of tests before diagnosing her with Asperger's. Two of our three sons had already been diagnosed. My wife's brother has since been diagnosed as well.

 

What will you do if you are officially diagnosed? Will you tell people? Do you expect it to affect any/many of your relationships?

[MelowMeldrew]

Ive posted in 'meet and greet' about my 7 yr old son, it seems he has aspergers........im now wondering if i have it too?

 

Looking back at my own childhood and the difficulties i had throughout the school years has really got me wondering.

 

I grossly underachived at school despite being told how clever i was, i just found school really difficult just being there each day caused a lot of anxiety leading me to be refered to child guidance counselling.

 

I have been accused of being cold or robot like, when to me i am just being practical rather than getting emotional, crying etc seems pointless to me.

 

I do have friends but they are all friends i have known for years i am a little untrusting of new people.

 

I like my own company and i tend to deal with stuff myself rather than ask for help, i hate the idea of asking for help.

 

I have suspected my son had aspergers for about 2 yrs now and i accept that its just the way he is so im not looking for a reason why hes like that but its just kind of made something click in my head and brought up all sorts of stuff from childhood that ive put to the back of my mind.

 

i dont know what to say really it just kinds of all makes sense now!

 

anyone else feel the same or have any ideas??

 

I was reading a psychology site online (As you do !), and was heartened to read the theory there are just people that prefer their own company and are not autistic or anti social or anything else, some people prefer their own company and do not like group things, or at best prefer very small groups and avoid larger ones. So no you aren't autistic perhaps one the more self reliant people who don't need others all the time. If autism in my son has taught me anything, it that constant interaction with groups of people is not a necessity and you aren't a freak if you prefer that. I also think inclusion is highly overrated too ! and no I am not autistic either, people need people ? some do some don't. There is a lot of tagging anti-social suggestions onto autism which is quite wrong as this makes our children look like tearaways, and am I the only one (!) that wants the poor parents to stop making excuses for not doing their job, by blaming an issue our children have. I am not suggesting you are one of these ! Little johnny likes making people's life a misery and is into drugs and vandalism, it's not his fault, etc he is autistic DOH ! I hate that.

 

[cmuir]

I was reading a psychology site online (As you do !), and was heartened to read the theory there are just people that prefer their own company and are not autistic or anti social or anything else, some people prefer their own company and do not like group things, or at best prefer very small groups and avoid larger ones. So no you aren't autistic perhaps one the more self reliant people who don't need others all the time. If autism in my son has taught me anything, it that constant interaction with groups of people is not a necessity and you aren't a freak if you prefer that. I also think inclusion is highly overrated too ! and no I am not autistic either, people need people ? some do some don't. There is a lot of tagging anti-social suggestions onto autism which is quite wrong as this makes our children look like tearaways, and am I the only one (!) that wants the poor parents to stop making excuses for not doing their job, by blaming an issue our children have. I am not suggesting you are one of these ! Little johnny likes making people's life a misery and is into drugs and vandalism, it's not his fault, etc he is autistic DOH ! I hate that.

 

 

You've raised some valid points. There are also people who are of the mindset that 'we're all autistic', etc etc, which annoy me. True - we all have our 'funny little ways', idiosyncrasies, etc, whatever one wants to call them. However, there clearly comes a point when a number of traits collectively add up to make a bigger picture, and that's where a diagnosis of an ASD comes in. In my son's case, I felt the overwhelming need to know for sure if he did in fact have Aspergers (he has an AS dx). For me, it didn't excuse his behaviour (a lot of which was really quite bad and often extreme), however, it gave a reason. Once you know what you're dealing with, you can then start to make positive changes and manage issues.

 

Caroline.

[Sooze2]

I did the test based on someone I know

 

Aspie Score was 130 of 200

 

neurotypical score was 65 of 200

 

I had to say I don't know to some questions

 

it said you are likely an aspie

 

So for those in the know, what does that mean in terms of - what am I dealing with? It was for an adult and things have been hard and seem to be getting harder. I can't really say anymore than that....

 

 

 

[Tally]

Since ASD is probably genetic, its quite feasible for you to have AS as well as your son. It's also possible to have significant traits without meeting the full diagnostic criteria.

 

The online tests are not really useful for anything other than a bit of fun, but they can flag up that you have a significant number of traits which may be worth investigating further.

 

Adult diagnosis is very hard to obtain, so you might find that learning about Asperger's is enough to give you and those close to you a better understanding of yourself.

[Meethoss]

Just in response to MelowMeldrew - I agree with what you say. I have Asperger's yet I'm also quite outgoing; I'm just naturally that way. I do sometimes just want to be on my own but I think that's either when I'm not happy or when I'm struggling with social stuff. But when I'm alone I do then long for company.

 

And as for running in the family there is definitely something in this. I would imagine if someone has Asperger's then there's a high chance their child will have it. But just because the child has it doesn't mean the parent does. Neither of my parents scored high on the Asperger's test (I score around 2-3 times higher) but both have traits of it. From what I recall from my biology lessons I guess this could be where their genetics have combined to create me. And very lucky that happened too or else they wouldn't have such an intelligent and skilful son, despite his sometimes odd quirks

[trekster]

Thanks everyone for your replies

 

I just did this online test [are they reliable?]

 

the results were;

 

Your Aspie score: 148 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

Your MBTI type: ISTJ

 

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

 

i would sday yes if you reply to them honestly. My scores (diagnosed asperger but i didnt tick that box)

 

Your Aspie score: 145 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

Your MBTI type: ISTJ

 

[Thames]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

If it turned out that i too have Aspergers i dont think it would make much difference to my life...i have got through life so far, but it would possibly explain the years of feeling so very different from everyone else and not understanding why.

 

but for now its all about my son and getting through the diagnosis process with him!

 

[AlaineD]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

If it turned out that i too have Aspergers i dont think it would make much difference to my life...i have got through life so far, but it would possibly explain the years of feeling so very different from everyone else and not understanding why.

 

but for now its all about my son and getting through the diagnosis process with him!

 

Hi Thames

 

I feel the same as you. I have a four year old with ASD and associated speech and language problems (diagnosed last June) who has started mainstream school (a few teething troubles here but irrelevant on this thread). My elder son who is 10 I also suspect of having Asperger syndrome, having done the research and consulted with the professionals I deal with for my younger son.

 

I myself suspect I have Asperger Syndrome too, as I can relate to the issues you mentioned, and I ticked rather a lot of boxes under the Triad of Impairments, enough to be a concern! I am uncomfortable in social situations, though I can cope, and sometimes I feel that I am invisible and I had a hard time at school because I could never 'get' what was going on. I don't have much ambition either, and I have terrible trouble with eye contact. I am also a bit cold and lacking in emotion sometimes, and I had terrible marital troubles when I first got married, with not wanting closeness etc, which still causes problems today. The list goes on, but it was sufficient for me to be concerned. I don't think I want to go down the route of a diagnosis, but it was a comfort knowing that there was a possible reason for my feeling like I don't belong in this 'neurotypical' world. Oh well, I've learned to deal with it now. (I took the test a few months back and I can't remember my score but it said I was an Aspie!).

 

I think my brother has AS too, though he was also born with Klinefelter's Sydrome, undiagnosed until his thirties, so he was dealt a double whammy. He had a terrible time and was teased and bullied mercilessly, and it's only now, looking back, that I realise he probably has an ASD too, given his behavioural traits. He still lives at home with our parents and he is 41 and cannot cope on his own. He is brilliant at writing and drawing. I also have a cousin who is very similar.

 

So it is definitely true about it running in families! There seems to be quite a lot of it on both sides of my family so it stands to reason that it will continue to pass down the family line, provided my boys are able to meet sympathetic, understanding wives! Here's hoping.

 

Good luck with your son. Since mine had his diagnosis we have not looked back. We are expecting his Statement any day now, which will help enormously.

[Thames]

Hi Alaine

 

yes a lot of what you've said about yourself rings bells with me!

 

finding out about my son has kind of switched a light on in my head about my own life/childhood, i have contemplated it a lot over the last few weeks!

 

My dad is very similar to me and i think he prob has it too, i dont suppose at my age i will ever get a diagnosis, the only thing i would want one for is to say to some people 'see im not lazy/stupid/wierd etc etc! THERES A REASON FOR WHY I AM WHY I AM!

 

Im just looking forward [if thats they right way to put it] to my son getting a statement and the help he needs.

 

Good luck with your boys