cmuir Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Hi Bumped into the young mum of a kid in my son's class who has significant difficulties. They're in a mainstream school. Acting HT in my view knows little or nothing about ASDs and seems hell-bent on making a name for herself. Mum told me that she's witnessed her kid in the playground on his own yet again. Acting HT says it was unfortunate that she witnessed that as it's not a regular occurrence (it is!) and that kiddo needs to learn to play with others kid – correct me if I'm wrong, but no. Kiddo needs to be taught to play with other kids! I've encountered nothing but problems with the school and it makes me so angry that others are experiencing the same. Collectively, I'm thinking about proposing to setup a working group of parents of kids with SEN in the school to work with the school. Not so as to gang up on them, but rather so that we can look at constructive ways to help our kids, given that we also acknowledge their tight budgetary constraints. All round, I'd hope that it's a win win situation. Not only would it perhaps help staff to understand these kids difficulties (given it's a mainstream school), but collectively we could look at ways of including them, whilst again at the same time acknowledging their restrictions. I also think that it would make the school look good in their HMI reports, since it would hopefully be a constructive way of communicating and working together to better the kids school experience (academically and socially) and give staff a better understanding of issues faced. What do you think? Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Alot of schools have parent support groups. At my son's school the SENCO has set up a monthly group meeting of all the parents of children with SEN in the school. She invites people to come and speak to us sometimes. She has set up a library of resources and games that the school uses that parents can take home with them. You would need to have a very clear set of goals. And you could use it to give advice to eachother about all kinds of things. The difficulty I see is when the group begins to see that certain things are not being done that should be being done. Or if things are being done in a way that you all think is inappropriate for your childrens' difficulties. How are you going to address these issues. It could get quite confrontational. Many times the proof is when something is done differently and it works. That involves manpower. If you are looking for 'change'. You may find that it begins to call on your own time and everyone elses. For example, the playground incident. What does the law say children should have access to if they have these types of difficulties. Would this group them push for the school to put this in place. Would the group be prepared to set up and run a dinnertime club (if school allowed it). Or would they be prepared to be an extra adult in the playground during lunch time to help support these children. I'm sure you could achieve something. But it also really depends on the school's approach. It isn't going to be an easy relationship! As the whole reason you are wanting to set up this group is because you are dissatisfied with what the school is doing. Depending on the kind of relationship you think this group will have with the school, will depend on where you meet. It is an interesting idea. Maybe others have already done this and will post about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Just wanted to add, that if it involves any kind of fundraising, then school will be happier and tolerate more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Something my son's last school did that raised quite alot of money and did not take up too much time, was they got in touch with the nearest free range egg supplier. They collected eggs once a fortnight and sold them from the school once a fortnight. You had to pre-order and pay for them. You could raise around 40p/doz and they were still cheaper than the supermarket. Alot of parents bought into that. It raised alot of money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted March 12, 2010 (edited) Alot of schools have parent support groups. At my son's school the SENCO has set up a monthly group meeting of all the parents of children with SEN in the school. She invites people to come and speak to us sometimes. She has set up a library of resources and games that the school uses that parents can take home with them. You would need to have a very clear set of goals. And you could use it to give advice to eachother about all kinds of things. The difficulty I see is when the group begins to see that certain things are not being done that should be being done. Or if things are being done in a way that you all think is inappropriate for your childrens' difficulties. How are you going to address these issues. It could get quite confrontational. Many times the proof is when something is done differently and it works. That involves manpower. If you are looking for 'change'. You may find that it begins to call on your own time and everyone elses. For example, the playground incident. What does the law say children should have access to if they have these types of difficulties. Would this group them push for the school to put this in place. Would the group be prepared to set up and run a dinnertime club (if school allowed it). Or would they be prepared to be an extra adult in the playground during lunch time to help support these children. I'm sure you could achieve something. But it also really depends on the school's approach. It isn't going to be an easy relationship! As the whole reason you are wanting to set up this group is because you are dissatisfied with what the school is doing. Depending on the kind of relationship you think this group will have with the school, will depend on where you meet. It is an interesting idea. Maybe others have already done this and will post about it. Hi Yup, you've raised valid points. I doubt the school would initially welcome this idea with open arms. The main thing is that is would need to be constructive and not a witch-hunt. It would need to be about accepting that the school have budgetary constraints and working out collectively how best kids could be supported. My son is one of 8 kids on the spectrum (it's a small school - approx 136 kids). There's no reason why, for example, they couldn't setup a social skills group for them. Whilst a LA keeps a watchful eye and is ready to mediate situations as and when they arise, there's no structured social groups group. So, it would be good to discuss and see what's possible. Whilst no doubt parents and staff would disagree on things, clearly it's much more helpful to work with what you have and make the best of it. Going over old ground, raising personal issues/grievances (best kept for review meetings) wouldn't be constructive. It may also be possible to invite individuals, for example, we've a super charity/organisation which are very good at helping parents of kids with SEN (they're unbiased in that whilst they're supportive, they do encourage looking at things from another perspective too). Good point about fundraising – ie sensory equipment, books (help kids understand that different is a positive, etc), etc. Caroline. Edited March 12, 2010 by cmuir Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Participation is the next big thing, so even if your school is a little reluctant they could be persuaded. I find the governornet website really useful for new school initiatives. I'm sure there's some guidance from one of the charities (CAF) called Parental Participation or something similar. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 Hi Yup, you've raised valid points. I doubt the school would initially welcome this idea with open arms. The main thing is that is would need to be constructive and not a witch-hunt. It would need to be about accepting that the school have budgetary constraints and working out collectively how best kids could be supported. My son is one of 8 kids on the spectrum (it's a small school - approx 136 kids). There's no reason why, for example, they couldn't setup a social skills group for them. Whilst a LA keeps a watchful eye and is ready to mediate situations as and when they arise, there's no structured social groups group. So, it would be good to discuss and see what's possible. Whilst no doubt parents and staff would disagree on things, clearly it's much more helpful to work with what you have and make the best of it. Going over old ground, raising personal issues/grievances (best kept for review meetings) wouldn't be constructive. It may also be possible to invite individuals, for example, we've a super charity/organisation which are very good at helping parents of kids with SEN (they're unbiased in that whilst they're supportive, they do encourage looking at things from another perspective too). Good point about fundraising – ie sensory equipment, books (help kids understand that different is a positive, etc), etc. Caroline. If you are wanting parents to involve themselves in school then you need very clear guidelines. Parents do help in schools with reading etc. If breaktimes is an issue with alot of these children (as it is bound to be), then you really need to think about what is going to be useful and what is going to work. For example just having a parent in the playground is not going to help these children interact when they don't have the skills or know how to do it. A good example is when my son had his birthday party. I had arranged all these games. Only my son knew how to play them, or was even interested. All the other kids went off and did some colouring!! There were probably lots of reasons for that eg. the music, not understanding the game, not knowing what to expect, having problems with losing etc. But many of them did draw a lovely picture of what they had liked about the party. So, you really need something with structure. Maybe manning a dinnertime club one dinner time per week could be a possibility. This could be a lego club, or art club etc. Something for the children to do with other children. But it will need to be highly structured. Anyway, good luck and let us know if you proceed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 12, 2010 You could ask the school if they could nominate a quiet time area. And school could use that if a child needed some time out of the classroom. It would need to be big enough to accommodate a child and adult if needed. Doesn't have to be a 'sensory' room, but ideally needs to be an enclosed space so that the child isn't seen. Something like a tent size. There could be some sensory stuff in there. Maybe you could meet with the parents and have a brainstorm about what they might want to achieve. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted March 13, 2010 In almost every area there is a parent participation group through Aiming High. If you contact your local Contact a Family they should be able to put you in touch with them and you could see if there is an education workstream With regards to the school, many schools have a parents group, if not it's a great idea to ask why not and enquire about establishing one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted March 13, 2010 I run my local aiming high forum. I think Caroline is asking for something different - more like a nurture group. I'm putting a link into the participation guide which gives some solutions to the many difficulties. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites