Adult diagnosis

[pyfan]

I'm new to the Forum though have been reading posts for a while, and would appreciate any advice on the process of getting an adult diagnosed with AS. I have always felt that my husband has many AS traits (our son is diagnosed with AS), and these have become more obvious over the last few years. We have talked before about trying to get a diagnosis but were worried about having it on his medical records for work etc. However I have now found out that my husband has been having problems at work, not doing the job but in interacting with his colleagues. He had a warning last year for falling out with someone, and has now been given a plan of action to improve, his attitude and communications with colleagues being the main problem. He can come across as rather forceful, fixed in his ideas, tactless, doesn't 'read' people at all etc. At the same time he is reliable and a hard worker when given a task to do. I am now worried that he might lose his job if this continues and wonder if having a proper diagnosis would protect him at work. He does want to improve and needs to stay in the job but maybe some understanding/ help from his employers would help matters. Can anyone give advice on the process of getting diagnosed and whether it is a good idea to tell your employer that you have AS if indeed he does. Thank you!

[baranigirl]

have started this process last yr with my DP, once all the signs fell into place we / he spoke to his GP (he had been signed off with anxiety and dizzyness for 2 months at this point) the Gp had already referred him to a psychologist who said there was nothing they could do to help him as his symptoms were out of their fields and he saw 3 of those!

 

We are waiting a pshychictric referral and have been since last October, but DP never returned to his job he saw the occupational therapist there to try and get him back to work, but she laughed in his face and said no way was he AS after speaking with him for about 2 minutes! Utter nonsense as he has learned techniques to cover up things he knows he does and she couldn't see through that!

 

Anyways he left that job and got another with better routine for him in November and has been there since, but I do not expect him to be there longer than 2 years as no doubt he will fall out with someone by then and then start complaining they are 'out to get him' which is complete nonsense in NT eyes, but for him he really believes they are

 

So anyways in answer to your question, see the GP and yes we have found it helpful to tell people what is happening as it lessens the anxiety for DP, however I deal with all his work related stuff such as booking leave / wages queries etc as he refuses to

[Tez]

As you may be aware, it is sometimes difficult to get a diagnosis of AS as an adult. However, the important thing for employment purposes is not the diagnosis but a recognition of the difficulties that any individual experiences on their medical records and that this has a substansial permanent effect on their ability to carry out their normal day to day activities - this includes communication. Once this is documented, the individual may be covered by the DDA and reasonable adjustments should be made by the employer provided that they are made aware of the difficulties.

 

I agree with the previous comment that the starting point is the GP, but don't worry too much about whether an official diagnosis is given, concentrate on explaining the difficulties that your DP has and how these difficulties affect him in his day to day life including his warning at work and his action plan to improve, but be quite clear that you don't see it as a get out of jail free card.

[baranigirl]

yes sorry I shold have said as above, we have put steps into place regardless of the diagnosis and his new employers know all about his difficulties

[justine1]

Hi

I wondered how he feels about the idea of a dx,did you make the suggestion he may have AS based on your sons dx or did you make it before your sons dx?

I only ask this because when my son got his dx the GP who suspected he has AS had already said maybe my husband has AS,based on his controling behaviour and certain other things.I also think he may have AS but other times I just think he is just an unreasonable person(not suggesting thats the same for your husband!) Does he see that he may have it?

 

In fact my husband sounds similar to yours in that he is very hard working and hardly misses a day of work.However he takes things to personally at times and lost one job for being verbally abusive towards the manager on three occasions.He has never got pysically violent towards anyone and he works directly with customers.It is mostly with authority i.e managers he has problems with as he often feels they dont listen and are unreasonable to him.

 

It is(as far as I know) against the law for the GP to share his records with his work,so its unlikely they will find out unless he informs them himself.Personally I would tell them once he has a dx,if you tell them before they may see it as an excuse as he cant back it up(IMO)I think once he has the dx then they maybe able to understand him more and maybe able to help remove him from certain/stressful situations which land him in hot water so to speak.I am not sure he will get much help or support but hopefully it will help him to understand himself and find strategies of dealing with situations.

 

First step would be to see the GP,try and write a diary over a week or more before going to the appt.It can include everything from how he handles getting ready for work,what and when he eats,how his day at work was etc. Anything that seems important and that you have noticed as being"different" Also may help to note certain things from his past,maybe speak to his parents if possible,how he was as a baby,how he coped at school,did he socialise well etc. Then take the info with you,if you want you can request a double appt so you wont feel rushed and able to explain eveerything thoroughly.Maybe he can request to be assessed by someone who specialises in ASD's.

[pyfan]

Hello again! Thank you for your replies so far, it just feels better to know we are not the only ones out there! To add a little background, me and husband have been together 20 years, I always knew he was different (I mean that nicely!) but sometimes you don't put these things together all at once. Our son is teenage and had various problems from birth, started to be assessed for these from age 2 and a half and was statemented from age 5. He is high functioning ASD. Husband is quite a lot older than me, his brothers are in their 60's and both parents dead now. We have a GP appt next week, but I don't have very high hopes for any quick results. We both just feel it is time to acknowledge it and he feels better to be trying to do something. I don't want to speak to his work without something more concrete as I think they may see it as an excuse and after all we don't actually know for sure that it is AS. However it would come as absolutely no surprise to either his or my family if it was the case! Today he is out on his bike as he doesn't like being in the house with nothing to do, he cannot handle unstructured time and gets claustrophobic indoors. Thanks for your help so far, it does help just to talk about it.

[baranigirl]

my DP cannot stand unstructured times, so I have to organise him doing things around the house (he likes stuff like that) but with no money its been really hard to do anything catch 22 eh!

 

No quick results for sure, but even putting timetables and structure into his day will make life far more bearable for all of you xx

[Paul234]

Hi, I am waiting for a diagnosis at my local diagnostic place, I have had similar problems at work so its interesting to know there are othere that experience the same things. Paul.

 

 

P.S. what does abbreviation DP stand for?

[baranigirl]

darling partner lol