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Three times this week dd has had nose bleeds. As A parent i am not that concerned, untill today i feel uncomfortable about the situation.

I know my dd is very repetative in her actions.

She has had her third nose bleed this week and told me this evening she does'nt like recorder lesson, and sat there hitting her nose untill it blead, so she would be sent out. So i'm thinking well monitor the situation, too see if it happens again before i can approach teachers.

Honestly i'm nackered, there's only so much i can do to help her overcome diffculties she has at school and home.

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I find it difficult too, mostly because my son has two very different ways of acting, one he is placid, uncommunicative, difficult to engage on most levels at school, but, exhibits different issues I am getting on the home front, which is obsessive nibbling behaviours of his hands, running, jumping and leaping in the air, and still a very obvious obsession with water which he cannot seem to avoid or us manage. How is these kids can not express their obsessions in the school but WILL do it outside ? Controlled obsessions to that degree ? Then we get the nudge nudge wink wink attitude "Must be an issue at home..." grrrrrr ! His school does not seem to appreciate any of it goes on because there is almost total inertia when he is at school. I believe it is because the highly organised and narrow structured school day and and constant attentions he gets there represses what is natural autistic behaviour he exhibits everywhere else. Perhaps because we DON'T structure every single minute for him at home ? we can't anyway, and I'm none to sure this is right personally, in self-development you must make mistakes to learn. He also has to learn what he is expected to do himself. He is so successful compartmentalising his behaviour home/school, anyone else get this ? It's like a form of schizophrenia but isn't. One face for the system a more natural face for his family ? taken to the nth degree. I think the school is making a rod for MY Back ! It's like I get most of the Autism at home and they get not much but a silent lad who has to be told to do everything. We are punished for letting him be himself ?

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my DD is the same, at nursery she is calm, placid and 'shy' at home she is stressed, limited eye contact and needs routine, gawd forgive me if I deviate from her routine to the slightest (even to the point she tells me which way to drive the car and gets very distraught when I go the 'wrong way') SENCo says no way could she be AS as she is a girl and does not behave like an AS child!!

 

As for your DD hitting her nose til it bleeds, if recorders realyy distresses her enough is there another activity the school could encourage her to do instead? Is it the sound of the screeching recorders? Although I agree to a point we learn by our mistakes, if it is traumatic then there needs to be some addressing to be done xx

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I find it difficult too, mostly because my son has two very different ways of acting, one he is placid, uncommunicative, difficult to engage on most levels at school, but, exhibits different issues I am getting on the home front, ... How is these kids can not express their obsessions in the school but WILL do it outside ? ... He is so successful compartmentalising his behaviour home/school, anyone else get this ? It's like a form of schizophrenia but isn't. One face for the system a more natural face for his family ? ... We are punished for letting him be himself ?

 

A person on the autistic spectrum is often able to control his/her repetitive etc. behaviours to a certain degree, but this is VERY VERY stressful. If the 'good' behaviour is maintained for a whole schoolday, the pupil will be totally worn out and be unable to maintain that 'good facade' any longer, i.e. outside of school. This time-out from the act the child has to do at school is indispensable for his/her mental health. If forced to play 'normal' at home, too, there will be a total breakdown very soon.

 

By letting him be himself at home, you're helping him to function at school, so your 'reward' is that he has a good chance to be able to stay there and finish school instead of dropping out at some point. He won't be able to put this into words at his young age - I was able to verbalize similar problems only recently - in my mid-thirties.

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