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CoolColombo

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You are a very brave 13 year old to come on here :thumbs:

If you have a statement you can apply to any specialist school it can be up to 1 hour drive from your home,so it doesnt have to be in your area or even your county.However the LEA will need proof why the school you chose is ideal for you,why you cannot go to any school closer to home and will then pay the travel costs.

 

I would suggest contacting NAS and looking online for a list of AS/ASD schools.

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Well done for coming on here and admitting to all that!

 

My partner had the same problem as you (he is now 31) and he was never diagnosed with anything until he turned 16 and they said he had dyslexia 2 months before he sat GCSE exams after hardly ever attending school, so he put all his future problems down to that, we now know a little different and he regrets not being able to get support at school when he was younger (it just didn't happen back then)

 

Anyways, chin up and don't give up the right school is there for you and you and your parents need to track it down xx

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Have you had any help from the Education Welfare Officer? They are supposed to help children with school phobia.

 

Are there no mainstream schools with ASD units attached in Dorset?

 

If you have a statement, then it may be possible to get you into an independent school that is more suitable for you. This may be a school that specialises in AS, or one that just has smaller classes and is more understanding. Your parents would probably have to do a lot of work to get you in one however.

 

You might be able to get help from the Connexions service - they are supposed to help you plan what you want to do when you are 16 and what you need to do to get there.

 

Your parents might be able to get help from the Parent Partnership people at your local authority's offices.

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Hi Sam, my son was similar to you and just really struggled in mainstream school. I found out that although he didn't want to go full time to a special school he could do joint role at 2 schools. So he started to do 1 lesson at a special school-which after a long time he began to enjoy. Then the special school offered him a place on their outreach group-which is an individual time table for about 8 children. Maybe you and your parents could see if you could do something like that. The outreach lets my son do a variety of practical things from learning to drive & fix cars, cooking and entry level maths and English-he isn't doing any GCSE's but if you could get on something like this the lessons would involve things you like doing and the GCSE's you want to do. If you have a statement you and your parents can call an interim review to try to plan what can be done to support you. X

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There are specialist ASD or language communication schools for children with average and above cognitive ability.

 

Your mum can write to your local authority and ask them for their list of all maintained, independent and approved schools.

 

My son went for a 3 day trial at an independent school. He loved it.

 

You may find that with the right environment your don't feel so scared about school.

 

Can you identify what it is that you cannot cope with about school?

 

 

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The school we went to see was Alderwasley Hall school in Alderwasley, Derbyshire.

 

All the children there had language and communication difficulties associated with AS and were expected to go to obtain qualifications.

 

You do sound very capable and intelligent. But worrying about missing education is going to fuel your fears. Have you tried anything like Yoga to help with relaxation and reducing stress?

 

There are many many things that a school could try to help. But everyone needs to be working with you to identify what is triggering this fear, or causing it to escalate to a stage where you cannot deal with it or contain it any longer and need to refuse school.

 

Some children do home learn. But I have no personal experience of that.

 

For adults who cannot go to college/university there is the Open University. However this phobia about school needs to be looked at because a phobia of school could move to a phobia of the workplace.

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>:D<<'> If you where my son I would be proud as punch with your bravery to come on a forum and ask other parents how you can get help with your education, bless you, you brought tears to my eyes, you pulled my heart strings soo strongly as I can relate to your post so muchs as I have a son the same age as you, and he too is in yr 8, he too was very anxious in mainstream school and he started a specialist school in yr 7 the changes have been amense, so there is hope, there are definately specialist schools out there for high IQ and Aspergers Syndrome its just that you have to fight for the placement to be funded, your parents can appeal the decision and it goes to a panel, you can also contribute to the panel yourself too and express how much you need a specialist learning enviroement.

 

My son goes to a charitable trust specialist school and we too had to appeal, the LEA wanted my son to attend a mainstream secondary even though some schools had turned him down due to not been able to meet his needs and he wasnt safe in their school, in the end we got the place he desprately needed.

 

I think you sound like you are wondeful young person who obvously has a lot of potential, and you will get a job when your older so dont worry too much about that, but understand you want a an education that meets YOUR needs.

 

There is independant schools out there and Im sure once you have an assessment they would be honoured to give you a place, you are going to go far.

 

Here are some organisations that can support you and your parents more to get what it is you need.

 

http://www.oaasis.co.uk/

 

http://www.priorygroup.com/pg.asp?p=pubOurSchoolsAndColleges

 

National Autistic Society also have a list of specialist schools that cater for AS and High IQ so do contact their educational helpline who can also ensure your parents access the right support.

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=143

 

For continued support I absaloutly recommend Contact A Family.

 

http://www.cafamily.org.uk/families/index.html

 

There is one more recommendation hope Im not bombarding you but there is IPSEA I am sure they would love to hear from you as its coming from you the very person this is affecting.

 

They are difficult to get throw to but keep trying, I am sure they can ensure you get the right support if you need to go to tribunal called SEND.

 

Anyway give these a ring too.

 

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/Apps/Content/html/?fid=9

 

I am very inspired by your bravery to ask for help. well done.

 

Keep us informed of how things go and you know where we are if you need further help.

 

Bless you :notworthy:

 

JsMumxxxx

 

 

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Hi cool colombo - Welcome to the forum :)

It's sometimes a bit difficult for adults to talk to teenagers without coming across as patronising or judgemental, so I'm going to reply in the same way I would reply/want other people to reply if my son was posting with theses problems. He's in yr 8 too, by the way, and has a dx of autism, adhd and dyspraxia so you should have a fair bit in common...

So, the first thing I'll ask about is your school phobia - when did this start, what does it mean and who diagnosed it? How do you feel it is different from 'not liking school', and do you think it is different from other children (whether they have autism or not) who refuse to go to school? Sorry if this sounds like a lot of questions, but without a clear picture of what's going on it's difficult to offer any advice.

 

Taking each of those one at a time:

 

When did it start?... Did something happen at school (or a series of things) that led to you refusing to attend, or was it a gradual thing that started with the odd day/couple of days off, but then became more regular until you were hardly there at all. When it first started, was the reason given (to you or on your behalf) that you couldn't 'cope' with going, or were early incidents more like you taking 'sickies' - i.e. pretending to be ill and then having dramatic recoveries when it got to ten o'clock and was too late to go in?!

What happened at this stage - if there was such a stage - and how did it progress to more extended absences? My son attended a mainstream primary school, and there were several children in his class/year who were regularly off school under these kinds of circumstances. Sometimes these absences would straddle weekends - i.e. they would be off on a Friday and the following Monday - but they would be seen over the weekend going out to play and that sort of thing, or would be okay to go out after school hours with their friends to the park. For most of those children attendance got worse as their school careers progressed, and I do know by word of mouth that problems have got worse in secondary. None of them had AS, and - to my knowledge - none of them have been diagnosed with school phobia, but they do not attend school with any regularity.

 

What does it mean?... What are your symptoms? Do you have panic attacks, sickness,get 'the shakes'? Are you traumatised? are there any 'triggers' for these kinds of responses (i.e. does it happen in certain lessons, with certain teachers or at certain times) or are they unpredictable and/or constant? What has been done in school to try to remove triggers (if there are any) and who has advised on this?

 

Who diagnosed it?... Have you had any professional support from a service like CAMHS, or counselling, or any school/home liaison, and if so did they diagnose 'school phobia' or is this a term that you/your parents have adopted as it seemed to 'fit' what was going on? You talk about it like it's a physical event 'I went in for two months and then started school phobia again', but is the 'event' something that happens in school or is it you saying 'I'm not going in any more'? If the latter - what happens when that point is reached, because from the sound of it there have been several attempts - including changing schools - to try to change the school environment for you but no real indication of why those measures haven't helped or of strategies used to reinforce your commitment to attending. It also sounds as though your parents have been at loggerheads with the school about provision - but while that has gone on have they 'relaxed' the expectation that you attend or have they worked with the school to keep your attendance levels up? Why, if you've now got a statement, is the school saying they can't act on it until September, and what formal moves have your parents made to address that or to provide an interim education?

 

You say the 'nurture group' broke down, but can you tell us why? And why do you think an autistic only school would work better than a nurture group? (I'm guessing the 'nurture group' was a special unit with smaller classes, more support etc etc, which - unless you were under pressure to crossover into the mainstream - would offer most of the benefits of a specialised placement.) Why do you feel you wouldn't refuse to go to school - or feel phobic about going - if it was autism exclusive, bearing in mind that a special unit' may in fact have smaller class sizes, a smaller total number of pupils and better staff/pupil ratios than larger specialised schools?

 

Finally, how much do you know about the 'special' school being suggested and why do you think that won't work? Specialist provision doesn't necessarily mean that it's for children with learning disabilities - many schools cater for children with average or even above average academic skills, and schools that are specifically for the learning disabled are designated (named) accordingly. Is the local special school one of these, or do they authorities and/or ypur parents feel they can offer you an appropriate education? If so, why do you think they can't, and have you discussed those concerns with anyone who can give you first hand advice yet?

 

I'm not sure how much advice strangers can give you on this, because there are so many 'variables' (things that do not apply for every case) to consider. For that reason I've just asked lots of questions about the variables to give you some things to think about, rather than offering suggestions. It may not be what you want to hear, but thinking about my son again I would want him to discuss it with me first, and I would talk about all of the things I've mentioned with him. If he wanted to discuss it himself on a forum like this that would be fine, but I'd probably post a 'parent's perspective' alongside so that people would have more of an idea about the backstory and how the situation being described had come about and what had been done so far to 'fix' it.

 

Hope that's useful (I won't say 'helpful' 'cos apart from asking loads of questions the only real advice is talk to mum and dad and make sure you're not talking at crossed purposes with them)

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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As baddad said there are many different schools you could look into, there are burseries for some private schools for children who would benefit from a placement and have ability or specialist interest, I know for us it was only specialist school that would of suited J as it had smaller class sizes, specialist staff and access to proffessionals that can give Speech and language, Occupational Therapy and Psychiatry and psychologist so for us a specialist school was the only way forward for Js education, anyway if you need more info on what types of schools then this link is good.

 

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/School...hool/DG_4016312

 

JsMumxxx

 

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Hi Sam

 

I really feel for you. My son is 13 and has had severe School Phobia. He couldn't really tell us what the reasons were for it. He hasn't been to school for nearly 3 years now - we deregistered him last October and he does Home Education. As he has learned to relax he has been able to talk about school more and we are beginning to understand the difficulties he had there - there are lots of reasons combined. He was not bullied which is what many people assume when we say he couldn't cope with school.

 

When Aw first stopped attending school the Education Welfare Officer came to our house and she was really nice. She offered Aw the chance to do Online Learning in a Virtual Classroom, where a small group of children log onto a virtual class on the computer (they supplied a laptop). He would have concentrated on Science first as that is his favourite subject, but hopefully to add English and Maths later. Unfortunately Aw was so anxious (I think about other children being logged on although they couldn't see him or his work) that he could not cope with it. We then had a Home Tutor come. He came for one hour a week to do Maths. He was great. He went through each maths problem and listened to Aw's way of doing it and then would explain whether that was right or explain how it should be done. He was very patient and explained everything very clearly. Unfortunately we had something happen in the family that made Aw unable to cope with having the Home Tutor come. It was a real shame because if he could have continued with that, he would have had the opportunity to go to a special unit where children with emotional difficulties in school can go - a small unit with no uniform and where they call the teachers by their first name, and with less than 10 children to a teacher. It sounded ideal for him.

 

Eventually we decided we had no choice but to Home Educate, but I had done a lot of research and I work with someone who has Home Educated their daughter so I have a source of really good information about it. We are lucky as I only work part-time literally up the road from home, so even when I am working I am home at lunch times. He can choose to re-enter 'normal' education at any time, and in future he can do GCSEs at college or evening classes or through 'distance learning' which is where you do a set organised course but at home.

 

My experience was that the school and the children's mental health team threatened me with the Education Welfare Officer, but when she came she was the most supportive and helpful of all of them! The EWO is the access point for help other than just attending school. They will obviously hope to get you back into school in the future, but there are the other measures I have mentioned which can help you get back into learning without actually attending school.

 

Whatever you and your family do, it is really important for you to keep learning what you enjoy learning. Don't lose that joy. When you are at home, don't beat yourself up that you haven't made it to school again. Make use of your time in a constructive way. The internet has many free resources for learning. The Open University Website has some amazing information all explained really clearly with videos etc all free! The BBC website is also very useful.

 

What do you enjoy doing? What is your favourite subject? Could you just go to school for your favourite lesson? Can you get some books from the library that are interesting to you? Do you have school friends that come round to see you?

 

Your parents must be very worried about how they can help you. If they want to communicate with me, I would be very happy to chat by email about what their options are, and about my experience.

 

Please let us know what happens for you in the future. Good luck.

 

 

 

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Hi Coolcolumbo.

I am also a parent.I have two lads.Ben is 11 and has AS.J is 14 and NT.

I thought that Js experience might be an encouragement.

When J was in year 6 at primary school he experienced a period of bullying.We did not know at the time how difficult it was.After Easter in year 6 J started having panick attacks when he tried to go to school.He would get very shaky and look very unwell.He did try to get to school but often school were so worried that they sent him home again.

J worked very hard to get to school and we did our best to help.However he hardly got into school between Easter and July when he finished primary school.J was very bored at home and unhappy.He managed to do his SATS because he could cope with being in a room on his own with a TA.However at the thought of returning to class with his peers he got very anxious.Js anxiety was very specific to school and could cope with going out to other places.

J started at Secondary school and we hoped with a change of school he would have a new start.However he had not been at Secondary School very long before he got very anxious again and found school very difficult.

The secondary school were very supportive.We worked with school to enable J to get into school.However we knew that school would support J in school too.The school provided a TA for a while and ensured that if J felt anxious he knew what to do.We also had some excellent help from a CAMHS psychologist.He worked with J using a type of talking therapy called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.J only needed to see the psychologist a few times to learn the skills he needed to manage when he felt anxious.

J is 14 now.He is mature and confident.He is doing very well in school.He has just been on a ski trip to Bulgaria.He won the award for the bravest member of his school party because he was prepared to face challenges and coped with multiple falls.

 

I know that J does not have AS.However Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is recognised as being helpful for people with AS.Although Ben faces many challenges in school I would be happy for Ben to try CBT if he was feeling anxious.

I remember when J was not able to get to school.My husband who is the boys dad says it was a very difficult time.However things can get better.

I would not have wanted J to go through the experience.However I know that because of it J has learned new skills.He also knows that he can do difficult things that he did not think possible.I am sure that that will be useful in the future.

http://www.youngminds.org.uk/

The ''Young Minds'' web site that I have posted a link to includes a specific area for young people on mental health including anxiety that might be useful for you.

There is also an area for parents and a parents helpline that might be useful for your mum or dad.

 

Karen.

Edited by Karen A

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