my son just gave me a scare.

[pingu]

hello everyone.

my autistic son (11)doesnt normally go out much, he has a few close friends who he has known from when he was at mainstream school, and if he does go out its usually to one of these 3 peoples houses.

 

But

 

Yesterday he was out on his scooter on his way to one of these friends houses (he lives at the end of the street) and he fell off his scooter and banged his head. he was just picking himself up when another boy came by, this lad also used to go to his old school, but they never got on and my lad was beaten up by this lad many times (for been different) ..once he told my lad that he could play football with him and his mates, if he would be 'the ball', they then proceeded to kick him all over the playground whilst he curled up into a ball - to him this was 'playing'. it took weeks for the bruises to disappear. anyway, this lad then helped my son up and asked him if he was ok, and now my son has an obsession with this boy because he was nice to him and in his eyes that now means they are best buddies.

 

anyway.. tonight he said he was off to james house (end of street) and i told him to be back by 4.30. so when 4.30 came and went and he didnt come back i went looking for him, as i know that jis friends mum usually asks him upon entering what time he has to be back, and is usually promt in 'kicking him out' (as he calls it) but she hadnt seen him when i enquired at her house, the other two friends hadnt seen him either, so i then had to do some detective work to find out where this 'other' lad lived, thinking he had gone there after talking about him all day. but he wasnt there either...

 

I was frantic by this time... for lots of reasons, like it was raining and he dislikes the rain, so i didnt thinl he'd stay out on the streets and his few friends hadnt seen him..

 

then just as i was about to start screaming his name randomly into thin air, i saw him like pingu on his scooter coming down the street.

 

it turned out that he had 'met another friend' and had been to his house. when pressed for info he said it was a friend of this boy from yesterday..

 

but in my search for this boy ive learnt that he is part of a gang, he is one of the younger members' and he is often in touble for stealing and basically been a nucience.

 

i wouldnt want them to start taking advantage of my boy cos he really does know no better, and will do anything he's asked if he thinks someone is going to be his friend. he's so gullable, but he is on a high at the moment cos he's got 2 new friends..... Whom i now know are not usually nice to people, so why are they suddenly been 'nice' to him..

do you think i am been paranoid. . when...... ?

 

.....My son tends to repeat everything that has been said to him, in almost a torettes kind of way, and right now he is in the room laughing hysterically and shouting 'go home kieran - just go home'...

 

 

i think i need to have a cup of tea or something... it hasnt been a great day as days go.

 

but i hope everyone else is ok <'>

[Teresa]

I don't think you are being paranoid, just hope you find out what's going on.

Sorry i don't have any advice.

 

regards Teresa

[justine1]

Hi

It is very hard because I can see you want him to have his independence by going to the friends that are "good" but now he is at risk of mixing with the wrong crowd. I guess the only way you can be sure he is safe is by walking him to the other boys home and fetching him at a certain time,maybe talk to that boys mum about your concerns and say that your son has to be monitored.I dont like that idea because I think its important for children to learn their way around and have their independence but if you are 100% sure the other boy is in a gang your priority will be to keep your son safe.Your son may kick off over the restictions but again you have to make sure he is safe.

 

I think if your son were over age 16 it would be totally different and more difficult to handle the situation.Try and explain as best as you can the reasons why he cant see that boy and also explain why you were worried about him,I believe thats important.