smiley1590 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 i started going to new local area social group once a month i met a lad there he very verabbly expressive like me with AS that way though does stutter get anxious i even thought he one of NAS staff members and now keep accidently seeing and bumping into him alot wherever i go now! he seems really shy around me and anxious i'm the same but feel connection spark there even though we only met twice for couple of hours each time just feel something to work on! i text him tonight but think rang out of credit! i really think i fallen for him scared to ask if has girlfriend incase he has! and he goes to same gym as me! good starting point talking point meeting up ... etc go from there really excited where this will lead am i jumping ahead! before i know he realy nice and mature sensible by way he acts! he got of dx when he was 19 years old hope he feels same way! only guessing he does again too embarrassed to ask! but he going to next social group end of may! woop woop hoping this beginning of something much more than friendship trying not to rush take things calm and slow atm ...... don't want to spook , upset him! he good looking and we both got AS which plus s he'll understand but will it become in the way of our relationship if does get t that point feel it may! fingers crossed! just want it to work so bad! any advice here or anyone relate too? XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted May 7, 2010 I always think that the best basis for a relationship is friendship. You honestly don't know him all that well yet, so try to spend some time just getting to know him before you dive feet-first into anything. If it does work out, you have all the time in the world to be together, so there's no need to rush. And if it doesn't work out, then you still have a friend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 true enough the social group manager known him longer than me says he nice guy but just gotta get opportunities find out of myself wouldn't mind seeing what he likes to do and maybe go from there.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted May 7, 2010 Sounds like a good plan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zenemu Report post Posted May 10, 2010 Good luck smiley Zen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 12, 2010 we texting eachother alot ...!!! he text me " if you still go joggin we could go together sometime or do something else more fun if u wana"!!! woop woop he says we still at friends stage i said yes taking it slow at one pace level probably meetin up with him saturday afternoon for meal a walk or just a drink ....!!! i havn't got a lot of money as been going mad buying clothes lately so running short and don't get paid until the end of the month! he says he'll pay for he try put something together but i'd feel bad and guilty wrong if he did that!? XKX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted May 12, 2010 we texting eachother alot ...!!! he text me " if you still go joggin we could go together sometime or do something else more fun if u wana"!!! woop woop he says we still at friends stage i said yes taking it slow at one pace level probably meetin up with him saturday afternoon for meal a walk or just a drink ....!!! i havn't got a lot of money as been going mad buying clothes lately so running short and don't get paid until the end of the month! he says he'll pay for he try put something together but i'd feel bad and guilty wrong if he did that!? XKX I think because you going as friends it is best if you pay for yourself for now,Try and explain that you cannot do it this weekend but maybe next weekend(?)and that you wish to pay for yourself cause thats what friends do. So glad you having a good time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe if we get some good weather you could meet for a walk and a picnic. Then it doesn't have to cost you any money. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 13, 2010 got decide what to wear have some idea dont want to panic him if wear something 'too nice' but want to make good impression don't want to scare him! we both really anxious! he quite shy but hope he opens up abit more when he relaxes! i'm really excited and looking forward to this! have good feeling about this in my bones my parents are pleased for me and my close friends are! at least we'll be able to understand eachother from AS point of view which can be hard work when got NT! and AS together! i really hope AS doesn't get in way make it difficult and ruin friendship and maybe forming a relationship! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjw Report post Posted May 13, 2010 hi smiley have a realy great time. theresa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 13, 2010 i don't feel attractive at size 16 trying to get in as much jogging and gym as possible before sat! lol X want to feel sexy and good looking but i feel fat and ugly! how can i stop this coming across to him?! XKX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted May 13, 2010 I think you should wear something you feel comfortable in,that way your confidence will shine through and this will make it easier for you to talk to him,remember to treat it as meeting up with a mate for now anyway. When I met my husband I was wearing dungeree shorts and had my hair in pigtails Not exactly attractive But I was so relaxed and of course the rest is history as they say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zenemu Report post Posted May 14, 2010 i don't feel attractive at size 16 trying to get in as much jogging and gym as possible before sat! lol X want to feel sexy and good looking but i feel fat and ugly! how can i stop this coming across to him?! XKX Hi Smiley, Don't worry about how you come across, just focus on having a good time and on the things you have in common. Don't put too much pressure on yourself or you will miss the whole point of this which is to get to know this guy and start at least a friendship if not a relationship. I think it was Tally who said that the best basis for a relationship is friendship first and from personal experience I can tell you that is 100% true. Remember this is meant to be fun, not stressful, so approach it that way Zen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 15, 2010 i really shaky to start off with lucky enoguh he same hand tremor as me! which never seen another AS person have it so don't know if anxiety related or AS!? we talked about grandparents ( nan and grandads) then about AS and related issues about our past how AS affected that at school in education not knowing about AS! how that caused probs sticky situations many times with both of us! he asked me outright if i was anxious as i was shaking so much like a leaf! trembling so bad! i really connected with him on deep level we started off in garden of where my dad brother dad's mate and dad's brother ( uncle) was inside the pub but just about to leave at that point when we went outside in garden luckily for us! lol so didn't intrude as that would make things worse anxiety wise for sure lol they already wound me up in funny way! my legs felt weird strange like jelly wibbling everywhere! he had meal burger and chips as i already eaten with my brother my dad paid for lunch for us before he came my dad always does on saturday afternoon! i felt like i known him for years sitting there! we shared rounds of drink in 2 pubs we went in down town one brought one then swapped around so fair! we then went for walk around the block did a circuit he walked me back to the bus stop and waited with me until my bus came! and said he'd like to meet up on thursday come down to my area and do jogging around block with me and also he said like to go out for a meal ... is this good signs here? what do people think? XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted May 15, 2010 I think it's lovely. Oh to be young again.... K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted May 16, 2010 Glad it went soo well <'> Its normal to be nervous like that even for us NT's.Its great that he has said he will meet up with you again,especially something like jogging as I am sure you will feel encouraged more having someeone there with you. Take it nice and slow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 19, 2010 he said when we met up on saturday that he wanted to go jogging with me tomorrow but i feel too self conscious insecure etc to do this in front of him he said he don't have credit! lol which annoying and frustrating so i rang him today and text him every other day trying space it out so he don't get fed up angry with me for bothering him! but it went straight on to voicemail so i left a message don't know if he got any credit to reply to me and anxious that keep texting and ringing me he'll lose interest and certainly don't want that or think i'm a stalker being OTT! O.M.G got fear of that coming reality true it scares me literally! what should i do? what you do? i had change the time orignally as i got a pyschology session from 11.00am to 1.00pm but ttext him told him that early on in the week! so said in voicemail today i'll meet him at 1.30pm after session finished we can go for chat and walk told him didn't fancy jogging but did a drink sound ok with him?! don't know if come across rude?! don't want to mess this up or muck him round trying so hard not too! am i trying too hard and thinking too much once again over everything! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) he said when we met up on saturday that he wanted to go jogging with me tomorrow but i feel too self conscious insecure etc to do this in front of him he said he don't have credit! lol which annoying and frustrating so i rang him today and text him every other day trying space it out so he don't get fed up angry with me for bothering him! but it went straight on to voicemail so i left a message don't know if he got any credit to reply to me and anxious that keep texting and ringing me he'll lose interest and certainly don't want that or think i'm a stalker being OTT! O.M.G got fear of that coming reality true it scares me literally! what should i do? what you do? i had change the time orignally as i got a pyschology session from 11.00am to 1.00pm but ttext him told him that early on in the week! so said in voicemail today i'll meet him at 1.30pm after session finished we can go for chat and walk told him didn't fancy jogging but did a drink sound ok with him?! don't know if come across rude?! don't want to mess this up or muck him round trying so hard not too! am i trying too hard and thinking too much once again over everything! XKLX hope it goes well for you today! jx Edited May 20, 2010 by matzoball Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
