K bit me today and punched his dad

[sawjd]

Hello everyone,

 

 

 

Bad day today, K refused to go to school but we did get him in the end at 9.15am. We tried for ages as K kept running up and downstairs and we had to pull him from the staircase again, he clung to cushions from the sofa, his dad kept putting his shoes on him while K was punching him. I tried to get him to the door this morning and he bit me. (luckily he did not draw blood), he pulled my fingers back to try and loosen my grip on his wrist.

 

Its brought back a lot of memories for me when D was like that and the school was supportive in getting him a statement. Now K's school is saying because he just makes the grade (borderline apart from writing) they are not willing to support us in making an application. Apparently its ok to let us suffer the bad behaviour but K knows that when he is at school he says nothing to the teachers and tells them what they want to hear. He saves the tantrums for us. I am really fed up with this as OH cannot take the punching anymore and i won't put up with being bitten again. On top of this the college that D goes to makes me want to scream, they have asked me to supply them with a statement of special needs (last one from school)to get him help with extra time for exams, i said this to them in the beginning that he would need one to one help and extra time, , they are now having to give him this and they did not want my help before and said he would be ok, now they are asking me for this , yet it was on his application form for the college and he said himself that he would need extra help. I am so angry about this . Not sure i have the strength to go another day if K plays up tomorrow. Any tatics about getting him to school, we have tried saying about what he can play with when he gets home and the odd sweets and what a good child he is etc, etc. I will go over the previous posts sent to us about getting him out the house but the differnce is its school.

 

The headteacher has seen Ks behaviour but did not bat an eyelid today when i told her he bit me.

 

We just don't have the strength to do this anymore and OH may lose his job as this keeps making him late for work. I don't drive so it would be even harder getting him on the bus by myself. Any suggestions to do with school. This seems so unfair that we have to put up with the bad behaviour yet if it was the otehr way round the school would be banginig on our door to get something done. No one (the school and the autsim officer) seems to be bothered yet its the work that is making K worse. Not sure what to do next.

 

many thanks for reading

 

best wishes

 

sarni

[darky]

My son used to do this from nursery right up to year 2 and it was exhausting. We didn't have a diagnosis for him at the time. He always kicked off from the house, all the way to school and played up right until I left, which was difficult with him clung to my legs. I figured out he didn't like the unsettled part of going into the class and always settled when someone came to calm him down, but that became a vicious circle and routine of him screaming, then soothed by a teacher or TA. I personally think, looking back in hindsight, he was kicking off for a predictable reaction and it just became routine. Once he settled in a different routine, which was a very harsh teacher that used to call out "Morning Callum" whilst burried deep in a store cupboard, recognising his screams from the carpark, and clear instructions on what he had to do once in the class, he settled down. Not saying it will be the same for your son though. Good luck, I do sympathise. <'>

[got the tshirt]

Dd3 used to and still does sometimes get very distressed about going to school. It's no where near as bad now, I have always told her that she has no choice about going to school and that I am going to take her whether she screams or not. She used to hide her uniform and hang on to the door frames and all sorts. It took all of reception [i had a phone call from the Headteacher once to tell me Dd had vomitted all over the new reception carpet] and most of year one but now she is resigned to the fact that she has to go. Sometimes I worry that the fight has gone out of her over school and now she has become passive. But its less stressful than the daily battles. We do not have a dx either but she's being assessed.

 

Having said all that, there have been many times when I would have rather kept her at home, I am not superhuman and I cried all the way home many times. I know that home ed would not work for us and she is at a good school, a couple of times I got it wrong and kept her off when she was conning me that she was ill, but that made it even harder to get her back again.

 

[JeanneA]

I really do feel for you. I've been through that with my son I couldn't get him to School since Christmas. Eventually the School managed to get the school transport to pick Glen up even though we live too near the School to qualify for transport, they managed to do it as it was 'special circumstances'. Glen seems to accept going on the taxi where he would not go with me or my husband. It still isn't easy getting him onto the taxi in the mornings as he is so anxious but at least so far I have managed it. Glen is on medication also now for his anxiety problems: prozac.

 

Do you think you could get your School to sort out transport for your son, or don't they have any transport? Just a thought, your son may accept going in a taxi.

[sawjd]

I really do feel for you. I've been through that with my son I couldn't get him to School since Christmas. Eventually the School managed to get the school transport to pick Glen up even though we live too near the School to qualify for transport, they managed to do it as it was 'special circumstances'. Glen seems to accept going on the taxi where he would not go with me or my husband. It still isn't easy getting him onto the taxi in the mornings as he is so anxious but at least so far I have managed it. Glen is on medication also now for his anxiety problems: prozac.

 

Do you think you could get your School to sort out transport for your son, or don't they have any transport? Just a thought, your son may accept going in a taxi.

 

[sawjd]

Hello JeanneA,

 

Thanks for the post, i just want to cry today. I wish the school did have a service like minibus or taxi but they won't. K bit me twice today, punched and kicked out again, part of the behaviour my OH (other half) had filmed it without K knowing. He has done this a couple of times (filming, we did not want to but no one believed us at school so had to film Ks behaviour). We showed the film (from the mobile) to the headteacher and she said she would talk to K and talk to the autism outreach worker. She lied. I spoke to K and he said his headteacher never spoke to him about his behaviour getting into school. They are just not bothered as K will be leaving in the july.

 

The eldest skived off from college, so i thought, but again its not the eldests one fault. He was told to leave when he was not supposed to. This is being looked into and the college staff have asked me after two years now, can they have his statement of special needs so that they can get him the extra time allowance for his exams as he struggles with this. They knew this when he started, its on his application form.

 

The OH is so stressed over whats been going on with both boys, the MS has flared up and taken its toll on his legs. Sorry for the rant.

 

Thanks for posting.

 

best wishes

 

sarni.