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suze79

Urgent advice needed

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Hi, I havent posted in a while but here goes. DS has been suffering with the fear of flying insects for months now. In the past he has been scared of thinking something has got in his ear, thinking he has sold his soul to the devil and travelling back in time to name but a few. these fears seem to pass and are replaced with a new one and very occasionally the creep back up when he his feeling insecure about something.

 

My problem is that for the past couple of months he has been attending CAHMS and they have been supposedly helping him deal with this current phobia. They just seem to making it worse as DS is a virtual prisoner and refuses to go outside. This fear is really developing into agoraphobia. They seem to be applying desensitization techniques to help him cope but this just seems to be making him more fixated on the fear in my opinion.

 

We really are at our wits end because this is so distressing for him. He really wants to go outside and play but says he just cant and goes into a panic and feels that he has dissapointed everyone. The people at CAHMS are not my favorite i have to say. DS who is 10 was dx with Dyspraxia when he was 8. His appendix burst at 9 and as he never complained about being in pain he was referred to be assessed for Aspergers. He was assessed at CAHMS and after one hour the concluded that maybe he does but we will keep an eye on him and review him in a year. To me and everyone else I have come into to contact with is convinced that he has Aspergers. I had to take him out of school and have been home educating for almost a year because he just couldnt cope with the school enviroment.

 

I know this is a lot of information but I would really like to know if anyone has any advice with regard to the phobia. Has anyone used any specific technique or have experience of this and if so what did you do.

 

Thank you for reading,

 

Susan

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My advise is you know your child best, and if you feels CAMHS isn't helping then stop going. Maybe leave it open that you may return at some point in the future, as you never know when you might want to go back.

 

My son's school recently referred us to CAMHS , for some sort of councelling about his high levels of anxiety. When I had the initial assessment, they suggested a course of six to eight 1:1 sessions for our son,involving me taking him to their offices each time. I pointed out he takes a long time to be comfortable with people, and doesn't not cope well with official appointments, so I felt CAMHS visiting him at school 3 times a week for 6 months to a year, was a more realistic approach, and time scale.

 

CAMHS have decided they can't help us on that basis, so that is the end of that.

 

At the end of the day, this is your child, and you can say what you think might help, and you can turn down any unhelpful help.

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Hello Susan

 

This is a tricky one isn't it epsecially as the summer seems to be here. Don't get me started on CAMHS lol. I work in mental health myself and my experience is that they have made things much much worse with my step son. Don't have any faith at all in them now, but there you go.

 

Anyways, we also have the fear of flying insects. My step son will react in quite an extreme manner if anything comes near him. What's worked well for us is not giving too much attention if we are out and he spots an insect and starts with his flapping behaviour and getting agitated if that makes sense. We don't go too overboard with reassurance either because this seems to reinforce the fear. We quietly and simply acknowledge that there is a wasp or whatever and then distract like mad lol ;)

 

 

After much work I also got him to go to a butterfly sanctuary with me and that's work aswell. We just found the more attention we gave to the fear when we were out reassuring etc, he just seemed to work himself up to be more afraid. He's still reluctant at times to go out but we don't give in to that and carry on with the activity.

 

Kindest

 

Yorks

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Thanks very much for your replies they have really helped. I was feeling a bit at a loss of what to do.

 

I think I am going to call CAHMS and speak to the Doctor about me concerns. I do think that you are right yorks as that is how we have dealt with his other anxieties and they have never escalated like this. It is just so hard sometimes when he seems in such distress and the general public and other children show no empathy.

 

I will try not to focus to much on it and try my very hardest to use distractions.

 

Thanks again.

 

Susan

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i get panicky anxious worked up around bees buzzing or any noise like that sounds stresses me out and can't concentrate on coversation nothing until it gone as bugs me silly i pin pointed it to sensory issue of the noise it makes around me makes me fidegty conscious and scared sting me ..... i know moving around makes it worse seem to aim for me think they can sense it as i'm highly anxious person anyway which doesn't help matters has you pin pointed where it sensory issues due to the noise which making him anxious? or is he fearful and stressed of what might do attack him go for him sting him etc? or is combination of both? i had agorphobic symptoms before i was assessed and diagnosed with AS and social anxiety disorder have you looked into social anxiety disorder as this common with AS and that can make want to stay indoors as get scared people looking staring at you you become paranoid withdrawn and embarrassed??!!! worth researching information on it maybe! or is he depressed as this can make him stop going out? or do you think just AS related in fact of social isolation and social interaction peers difficult hard going to make an effort first step to try>>>????

 

take care

good luck

 

XKLX

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Thanks smiley. I think it is a combination of both the noise and the fear of being stung. The computer fan came on last night and he jumoed out his skin because he thought it was a bee in the room. He does seem really eager to go outside to play but cannot physically bring himself to do it. He says his fear wont let him. Its then he gets really down and beats himself up because he feels he has let us down even though we reassure him that he hasnt.

 

I think for now I am going to not pressure him at all to go outside and just carry on as normal. We are back at CAHMS tomorrow when I will tell them i think their current approach is not helping. Will check in once we have been.

 

Thanks again,

 

Susan

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Hi

 

We have the same problem with OJ and anything flying - he probably got the wasp thing from me cos I just freak when I hear or see one. One answer we found that works - buy one of those zapping tennis bats and put DS in charge of it.

 

OJ now clears the rooms of any flies and takes great pleasure in it :devil: On the plus side its also improving his gross motor skills and maybe one day he'll take up tennis!!!

 

Stella xx

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Well CAHMS was much the same today. Although, she brought in a dead wasp and DS completely freaked out but eventually calmed down. It was very upsetting for him but in a way I am glad they saw the severity of his reaction because i always feel they do not understand exactly how anxious he is, they have a habit of belittling his problems or making me feel like i am blowing them out of proportion.

 

That's a great idea Stella! We did try giving him a water gun but he found the trigger tricky to pull and would run out of water and make one big mess so i am definately going to try the tennis bat.

 

Thanks

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