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mandyque

Sensory overload in teenagers

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Hi, I haven't been around for a while, but I'd like to describe the day I had yesterday and ask the question - is it common for teenagers to suffer more with sensory overload than when they were younger?

 

This was my day:

 

This morning I got everything ready and packed into the car, then told dd we were going on the train.

 

She screamed and cried.

 

After about 15 mins she calmed down enough to come with me, and she enjoyed being in the car, singing along to my Prodigy CD. Then we got to the railway station, to catch the first train.

 

She got out of the car brilliantly, I was anticipating problems there, but it was fine. So we walked up to the ticket barriers. As we did, a high speed train pulled in, making a lot of noise. She sat down on the floor, screaming and crying.

 

The train left, and she immediately got up and came through with me, so I took her in the shop and she got some sweets, a drink and a comic for the journey. We then went to sit on the platform where our train was due.

 

The train arrived and I said 'come on, let's go on the train'. She dropped to the floor again, screaming and crying, refusing to move, and going to attack me when I went near. I called to the guard that I needed help to get her on the train. He looked at me, looked at her, then signalled for the train to go Then it was gone. Without us.

 

Completely gutted and numb, I said 'come on, let's go in the car'. She screamed and cried and refused to move. It took me another 20 minutes to get her to move, then she suddenly got up and came with me.

 

By this time I was close to tears, we headed back to the ticket barrier, where she didn't want to go through for a moment, but did in the end. I headed towards the car but she stopped again and started screaming and crying. After yet another 5 mins she finally relented, after I'd coaxed her with a favourite toy. I then sarcastically waved dd's blue badge at some old git who was giving me dirty looks for being parked in a disabled space

 

She is in residential, so I took her back there rather than home, I needed their help as by now I wasn't coping too well, and I thought taking her home might cause more problems because I would then have to get her back in the car to go to residential anyway as her dad wasn't going to have her when he normally does, spoiling her routine even more. We are divorced so she usually stays with me for 2 nights, then goes to him for 1 night before returning to residential.

 

When we got there, we spent another 40+ minutes trying to get her out of the car, more screaming and crying. Eventually she got out, dropping to the ground again in the garden, screaming. After a few more minutes she went inside and finally started to settle down at last.

 

Altogether this took 4 hours, and it meant that we didn't get to go and spend a lovely couple of nights in a hotel with a swimming pool, and a day out at Legoland. I think the noise of the trains in the huge echoey station put her off going on them, although this has become a common occurance, even with places and things she normally enjoys. She is becoming agoraphobic and doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything.

 

Does anyone have any ideas or comments on this? I managed to keep my composure through the whole episode and tried to talk and behave calmly around her so as not to upset her any more, but she just kept flying off the handle.

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Can I just add, as a bit of background, dd is severely autistic, doesn't understand much speech and has a limited understanding of PECS. I used a train PECS symbol to show her where we were going, but it's difficult to prepare her for anything because of her difficulties in understanding. She is 13.

Edited by mandyque

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G*d this all sounds familiar. We would never have got through the barriers. It once took me over an hour to get him out of the park, a five minute walk home.

 

It might be increased sensory overload, but I know for my own son it's also an increase in self will - the usual teenage stuff of expressing some independence and non-compliance.

 

The only suggestion I have is to drive everywhere (and invest in a satnav). That way you can overcome most of environmental challenges on the way though you may experience the same difficulties when you get there. DS is happiest at home and it took me a while to accept that - we'd get five minutes into something and then he'd be wanting to go. The places he accesses easily is one particular swimming pool and anything outdoors. We've just come back from a week in Dorset where he and I spent the entire week walking up and down various beaches whilst DH and the kids did other more thrill-seeking things.

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Would ear defenders have helped??...........not sure :unsure: ..they helped my son wqhen he was little.

my son is 14 and although alot different to your dd he is definiteley displaying worse now than a few yrs ago.Some days he can,t even converse without shouting ranting , his face sometimes is in a constant frown :tearful:

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Would ear defenders have helped??

I was going to suggest the same, or would she tolerate an MP3 player?

 

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I would suggest that for an autistic child with limited speech and sensory issues that this was just too much out of routine, unpredictability, sensory issues etc.

I agree that driving there would have avoided alot of the train station issues, but you might have found something else that upset her on arrival.

My son is not autistic to that extent and we still have had many difficulties arriving at places that were not as he 'expected' them to be. Or he could not handle some aspect of the environment etc and we had to just turn round and come straight back home.

Or when we get there he cannot 'negotiate' with what the rest of the family wants to do as opposed to what he wants. It often turns what was hoped to be an enjoyable day into a struggle at best and sheer hell at worst.

 

You had planned to go to Lego land. Is that something your daughter would have wanted to go to? My son would have, and having discussed that with him he would have tried extra hard to get there. If there is no motivation to get to the end destination, then you are going to have even more difficulties. So try to work with her interests.

 

My son has alot of sensory issues and so a hoodie/cap, glasses, ear defenders and a small toy to hold were compulsory for years.

 

As you say she has limited understanding of PECS, that is going to make even a very clear visual picuture description of your day out hard for her to understand.

 

Maybe you are aiming too high and attempting to do things you think you should do with your daughter rather than what you actually know she can cope with? I'm not saying not to attempt going out, but it needs alot of planning and going over and over with your daughter and to start any excursion with the explicit understanding that there is a good chance you won't get there and that the achievement is in anything she tolerates along the way.

 

If you have to travel by train I would suggest alot of visits to your station just to sit on the platform and go to the cafe for a treat afterwards.

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Thanks for the responses. This is a new problem that has just started to come out, so I haven't really had time to understand it or sort things out so it could have gone differently. I couldn't have driven there because it is too far and would have tired me out too much to manage her, so the train was the better option for me. It has been a long time since we've been to that station, the one we normally go to is open air, so the noise doesn't echo like it does in the big stations.

 

She hasn't had hearing sensitivity before, but this is obviously beginning to be an issue, I have got some ear defenders so I will have to start taking them with us when we go out.

 

She's never been to Legoland before but I'm sure it would have been something she would normally enjoy, she likes Flamingoland and Lightwater Valley, and she loves playing with construction toys like Lego so I'm sure once we'd got there she would have liked it, but I really didn't have any other way of finding out or preparing her. The pictures on their website are pretty vague and don't show much of the actual park. I think I was probably aiming too high, despite us having trips out and holidays in the past, it has been quite a while since I've been brave enough to try, I'm divorced from her father and find it difficult to do things with her on my own.

 

Ah well, I guess we're always learning aren't we? We do have to try or we'll never know what is possible. I'll write this one off as experience and something to learn from.

 

 

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Maybe you are aiming too high and attempting to do things you think you should do with your daughter rather than what you actually know she can cope with? I'm not saying not to attempt going out, but it needs alot of planning and going over and over with your daughter and to start any excursion with the explicit understanding that there is a good chance you won't get there and that the achievement is in anything she tolerates along the way.

I would totally agree with the above.

Often for us a day out was/is a drive to the garden center a quick look round, a cup of tea in the tea room and home again.

 

As we have season tickets to English Heritage and the National Trust, at least if we go to one of their places (my son likes castles and ruins)(We always get there as they open so there are not too many other people about as that's a big damper on my sons enjoyment of anything) and if after 5 minuets he has had enough we dont feel its been such a wast.

We sneak off for days out when he is at school and I have a day off in the week.

 

Going to a theme Park is really outside of what my son would/does get any enjoyment from.

Even the local* advance playground, unless it is all but deserted, is unlikely to be something my son will enjoy to any extent. How many time have we gone, stood and watched and come home again.

*When I say local its 20 miles away and part of a National Trust property.

 

If we are doing something that is outside of his experience we will talk it over with him and try to make it his idea to go there, if you get my drift.

 

I'm all for pushing the boundaries but you have to be realistic.

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I am really sorry your day out did not go as you had planned.

 

I think maybe, as someone else has said, it was a bit too ambitious. Unfortunately everything has to be tiny, tiny steps. When she comes to you, do you usually stay at home, or do you go out ? If you normally stay home, then maybe first 2 or 3 trips could just be going out of the house. The next stage might be a couple of visits to the station to see trains.

 

It is a painfully slow process, with many steps backwards, but one day you may be able to just up and go out (like SO many people with children take for granted)

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I am really sorry your day out did not go as you had planned.

 

I think maybe, as someone else has said, it was a bit too ambitious. Unfortunately everything has to be tiny, tiny steps. When she comes to you, do you usually stay at home, or do you go out ? If you normally stay home, then maybe first 2 or 3 trips could just be going out of the house. The next stage might be a couple of visits to the station to see trains.

 

It is a painfully slow process, with many steps backwards, but one day you may be able to just up and go out (like SO many people with children take for granted)

 

Not long ago, we could just go out, I only had to mention 'car' and she was ready, shoes on, coat on and stood at the door. That's why I'm so flummoxed now, it's such a change in her behaviour and such a great increase in her anxiety, it's really hard to know what we can and can't do any more. I was just wondering if these sudden changes happen with a lot of youngsters as they hit puberty?

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Hi yes I think puberty has a lot to do with our teenagers behaving as they do. Puberty is a difficult enough time for (I hate to say this word) 'normal' teenagers, but with kids with ASD/Aspergers etc then it is even more difficult. I have sent you a private message.

 

My son Glen 16, has been going through a very bad spell now for around 5 months, the psychiatrist prescribed prozac to help with his anxieties, he has been on this drug for around 7 weeks so its still early days but I do actually feel it is helping him, however Glen still doesn't like going out to places that he originally loved going to. I think through this very hard time for our youngsters it is best to keep things very simple and as someone else posted, just take them out somewhere local for a short length of time, that way you and your child don't get stressed out!

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Not long ago, we could just go out, I only had to mention 'car' and she was ready, shoes on, coat on and stood at the door. That's why I'm so flummoxed now, it's such a change in her behaviour and such a great increase in her anxiety, it's really hard to know what we can and can't do any more. I was just wondering if these sudden changes happen with a lot of youngsters as they hit puberty?

 

Ours was a gradual decline but we had a sudden increase in challenging behaviour about a year ago. School tell me it's going to last about two years and nearly all their young people go through it.

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Ours was a gradual decline but we had a sudden increase in challenging behaviour about a year ago. School tell me it's going to last about two years and nearly all their young people go through it.

 

Thanks - and oh my - two years?!!?!? :wacko:

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We are seeing improvement after a very difficult summer last year. I wouldn't say we are through the tunnel, but there is light. No doubt all will go pear-shaped when he changes campus in September.

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We are seeing improvement after a very difficult summer last year. I wouldn't say we are through the tunnel, but there is light. No doubt all will go pear-shaped when he changes campus in September.

 

Good luck with the transition, it's such a stress isn't it!

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