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What Difference a Late AS Diagnosis Makes

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Well, here goes! I was yesterday diagnosed as having AS - what a surprise. . . . . NOT! And I paid a good wack for the privilege of having label attached to me to explain my alternative thought processes! There I was, trundling west on the M4 with my wife, coming back home after the diagnosis, when we cast our minds back to when we were making a similar return journey after Professor Fraser diagnosed our son some thirteen years previously!

 

In all seriousness, though, the diagnoses is hugely significant for me, for it means I can focus what I'm good at, less at what I'm not good at, and I know I can get help/advice to overcome my deficits - if I choose to. I can now come to terms with who and what I am. Diagnosis comes as a great relief, and now I can plan for my future, and become less tense about myself.

 

For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS?

 

For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made?

 

Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

 

 

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Hello

 

For me 16 years was late as i was being blamed for my behaviour, also i was severely mentally ill and suicidal. i never want to go back there again (the mental health stuff i mean). My mum wont go for a diagnosis and in some respects it wouldn't help her as shes likely to react very negatively and get severely depressed about being "different".

 

i also felt great relief at finally having a name for my difficulties. Problem is i also felt i didn't have the whole picture and felt i had diagnoses missing. i already had my depression, anxiety, raynauds and aspergers recognised at age 16 but there were other diagnoses missing. 2 years later i got scotopic sensitivity syndrome recognised (now since undiagnosed since I've been told i don't have it anymore), followed by fibromyalgia in 2005 and IBS in 2007. The OCD and PTSD haven't been officially recognised but are under control enough that they rarely cause a problem.

 

How does it feel to have something you can relate to with your son? i would love for my mum to discuss aspergers with me (we do discuss it in a way but without using the term "autism" or "aspergers").

 

Congratulations on your diagnosis.

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WOW What a story, you will have to write a book one day, I can totally understand your reliefe, grief and now moving on with your life, sadly there is probably a lot of men just like yourself who plodded on with life with undx of AS but dx with other disorders such as Anxiety, Depression, and not able to get the understanding they need to get thier needs met.

 

My son is 13 also, what a ride thats been without AS, but I do suspect Js Father had AS and he is deceased so we wont ever get a dx., I thinks its massively inherited, I know of another family where every member has AS, I once fell out with a friend whos son had AS when I casually said to my friend I think he too had AS, he went nuts so you have to be careful, sometimes you have to keep your opinions to yourself, because some people wont hear of it.

 

I am so relieved for you that you can finally move on and you have some answers, well done for the assessment and going the process as it cant of been easy, especially as it would of raised memories of your own childhood, sometimes watching our own children send us back in a flash dont they.

 

Anyway good luck to the rest of your future,

 

JsMumx

 

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Hi

 

That's good to read your post. My son was diagnosed at the age of 4.5 (4.5 years ago) with AS. It was only during that process that two specialists stopped just short of saying they thought my husband is on the spectrum too. Crazy, because it was only during the diagnostic process that I actually started wondering about my hubby. Hubby will on occasions admit he believes he's on the spectrum, then retract what he says, and says he doesn't want an official diagnosis. Have to say, for exactly the reasons you've mentioned, I wish he would – it's about acceptance of who you are, but also I think it could answer lots of questions.

 

Congratulations on your diagnosis!

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

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Glad you finally have some answers. I'm pleased you are happy about it, and I bet it comes as a huge relief. Do be prepared though for some mixed feelings over the next few weeks. Even though you were expecting it and it's helpful to you, it can take a little time to get used to.

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Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

 

 

 

I'm glad you feel positive about your diagnosis. They say, " the truth sets you free."

 

Have you outed yourself with colleagues at work ? I haven't had my assessment yet, but if it was such, that I was diagnosed with an ASD, how would I go about sharing this with people at work, who I feel might not take ASD seriously. There is a part of me that even feels that it would work to my disadvantage. As this is the area where I experience most of my difficulties, I feel that I would be in a no win situation.

 

If you have outed yourself at work, could you share some of your experiences and tips etc.

Edited by Jannih

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I'm glad you feel positive about your diagnosis. They say, " the truth sets you free."

 

Have you outed yourself with colleagues at work ? I haven't had my assessment yet, but if it was such, that I was diagnosed with an ASD, how would I go about sharing this with people at work, who I feel might not take ASD seriously. There is a part of me that even feels that it would work to my disadvantage. As this is the area where I experience most of my difficulties, I feel that I would be in a no win situation.

 

If you have outed yourself at work, could you share some of your experiences and tips etc.

 

i've actually found it's a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to outing yourself in the workplace. by law your employer has to be seen to be making 'reasonable adjustments', but sometimes that can fall down they wayside. for example i have sensitive hearing, and they have sat a girl who plays the radio all day and sings with a high pitched voice beside me on one side, and an old man who whistles all day and taps his feet - by the end of the day i am ready to curl up in a ball under my desk! I've asked if i can be moved to a quiet part of the office(there isn't one), or that they are at least briefed about my hearing and what it does so they have the chance to be a bit more considerate. but that hasn't happened. i've got prospects involved, so things are looking up in that respect. most of the time my manager is cool - he types out written instructions for tasks i need to do, but other times he acts like my as is a nuisance. as i said prospects are going to help me out so i expect things to get a lot better.

 

socially, i have only told the people at my table - as they are the people who i interact with everyday, they are quite understanding apart from the hearing thing, so it's not so bad. i can stim or whatever and it doesn't freak them out because they know why.

 

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Well, here goes! I was yesterday diagnosed as having AS - what a surprise. . . . . NOT! And I paid a good wack for the privilege of having label attached to me to explain my alternative thought processes! There I was, trundling west on the M4 with my wife, coming back home after the diagnosis, when we cast our minds back to when we were making a similar return journey after Professor Fraser diagnosed our son some thirteen years previously!

 

In all seriousness, though, the diagnoses is hugely significant for me, for it means I can focus what I'm good at, less at what I'm not good at, and I know I can get help/advice to overcome my deficits - if I choose to. I can now come to terms with who and what I am. Diagnosis comes as a great relief, and now I can plan for my future, and become less tense about myself.

 

For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS?

 

For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made?

 

Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

 

Ever since my son was diagnosed 3 years ago, or should I say in the run up to the diagnosis, this very thing crossed my mind, the more I read about Autism the more I made the connection.

But I feel no need to do any thing about it. Maybe 30 years ago if I know what I know now I mite have felt different but if I am honest with my self I have never felt better about my self and who I am than I do now.

 

As for coming out, a work colleague only last night said to me, "You know your so Autistic" (That sound bad out of context) what she was saying is that she can see traits in my behaviour. In my job I think it is a plus, certainly not seen as a negative. We have a few people on the staff who have a diagnosis of AS.

As my work place is a residential home for adults with learning disabilities, I high number of which have autism, it helps with making a connection with the residents, maybe?

 

Hope this make a bit of sense, I'm doing this with my son bending my ear. Got to get him to bed than its off to work.

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...

For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS?

 

For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made?

...

 

Yes and yes (ages 3 and 36).

 

By now after 2.5 years I'm still not sure if the dx really has made a difference. I haven't told about it at the workplace, though.

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I'm 21 and was assessed when I was about 14. The outcome was very confusing ... I was told "if you were a boy then we would give you a diagnoses but because girls are more sociable than boys you don't fit all the criteria" and my mother was told that I had aspergers and to read all the books. 7 years on, I don't have a single friend apart from my boyfriend who is the most understanding guy I know for putting up with me, I rarely leave the house because of all the sensory difficulties and can't go to unfamiliar places on my own at all. I went back to my doctor about a month ago who has referred me to someone for assessment. Having a diagnosis will help me kind of close the doors on this because I feel that I was never told anything at 14 that allowed me to look at it as a closed door. My doctor said it sounds like anxiety disorder but I know it's not, I don't feel anxious with people or places, I just feel out of place and don't understand people. However, this same doctor told my mother my sister who is 10 has anxiety disorder when she was referred for adhd assessment and she has since been diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD and odd and is now being assessed for asd. But he is the doctor to go to to get things done so I'm hoping I will hear something soon.

Well done for going for a diagnosis by the way, I'm glad to hear that it's helped you :)

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Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

 

I have, at the age of 54, just started on the road towards a formal diagnosis. I have been referred for assessment by my GP but I have no idea how long the process will take. I have only recently come to the realisation that many of my difficulties over the years have been due to AS. At the moment I am finding it all a bit confusing. On the one hand I feel enormous relief that finally I know what it is that makes me different (or difficult, or both!). But on the other hand I am struggling to accept it. I believe that my mother also has AS.

 

Interestingly none of the few people I have confided in have expressed any surprise at all. One even said, 'but I have always know that about you'. She hadn't felt I was ready to hear it though and I guess she is right.

 

I am glad that you feel so good about the diagnosis and it gives me hope that I will feel the same if or when I also get confirmation of what I already know!

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I've actually found it's a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to outing yourself in the workplace. by law your employer has to be seen to be making 'reasonable adjustments', but sometimes that can fall down they wayside. for example i have sensitive hearing, and they have sat a girl who plays the radio all day and sings with a high pitched voice beside me on one side, and an old man who whistles all day and taps his feet - by the end of the day i am ready to curl up in a ball under my desk! I've asked if i can be moved to a quiet part of the office(there isn't one), or that they are at least briefed about my hearing and what it does so they have the chance to be a bit more considerate. but that hasn't happened. I've got prospects involved, so things are looking up in that respect. most of the time my manager is cool - he types out written instructions for tasks i need to do, but other times he acts like my as is a nuisance. as i said prospects are going to help me out so i expect things to get a lot better.

 

socially, i have only told the people at my table - as they are the people who i interact with everyday, they are quite understanding apart from the hearing thing, so it's not so bad. i can stim or whatever and it doesn't freak them out because they know why.

 

Good luck with getting Prospects involved. i walked out of my voluntary job for the same reason as you are upset with yours (too much background information was overloading to me). i ended up talking to people as it would stop their distracting voices but they just told me off for chatting too much.

 

This was an organisation whose supposed to understand sensory stuff (or so i thought it was an ME organisation and ME folk can have painful senses). The information wasn't communicated from the voluntary co-ordinator to the staff members working with me.

 

When i tried to ring up and complain I kept getting the person who didn't understand my autism and i was scared to communicate with her. I could have written back but as voluntary work cannot legally require reasonable adjustments my hands were tied. i was upset when a job at the same place which involved "working from home part of the time" came up at the same organisation. But then again it could be seen as a lucky escape.

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Glad you finally have some answers. I'm pleased you are happy about it, and I bet it comes as a huge relief. Do be prepared though for some mixed feelings over the next few weeks. Even though you were expecting it and it's helpful to you, it can take a little time to get used to.

 

16 years later im still trying to get used to some of the negative side effects of being asperger. :wallbash:

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Ever since my son was diagnosed 3 years ago, or should I say in the run up to the diagnosis, this very thing crossed my mind, the more I read about Autism the more I made the connection.

But I feel no need to do any thing about it. Maybe 30 years ago if I know what I know now I mite have felt different but if I am honest with my self I have never felt better about my self and who I am than I do now.

 

As for coming out, a work colleague only last night said to me, "You know your so Autistic" (That sound bad out of context) what she was saying is that she can see traits in my behaviour. In my job I think it is a plus, certainly not seen as a negative. We have a few people on the staff who have a diagnosis of AS.

As my work place is a residential home for adults with learning disabilities, I high number of which have autism, it helps with making a connection with the residents, maybe?

 

Hope this make a bit of sense, I'm doing this with my son bending my ear. Got to get him to bed than its off to work.

 

i feel the same way in my social secretary job. My goal is to work with autistics, im a different person offline as folk find me easier to read.

 

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I'm 21 and was assessed when I was about 14. The outcome was very confusing ... I was told "if you were a boy then we would give you a diagnoses but because girls are more sociable than boys you don't fit all the criteria"

 

This is a common misconception, delayed imitation is a common coping mechanism for female autistics in particular. Due to being able to pick up social cues to an extent their autism is invisible. They are dismissed as "not needing a diagnosis", then again the complete opposite autistics are dismissed as trouble makers! :wallbash: You don't have to fit all the criteria to get a diagnosis. i know a guy whose been told traits of aspergers because he's not very literal with things.

my mother was told that I had aspergers and to read all the books. 7 years on, I don't have a single friend apart from my boyfriend who is the most understanding guy I know for putting up with me, I rarely leave the house because of all the sensory difficulties and can't go to unfamiliar places on my own at all. I went back to my doctor about a month ago who has referred me to someone for assessment. Having a diagnosis will help me kind of close the doors on this because I feel that I was never told anything at 14 that allowed me to look at it as a closed door.

 

A lot of my undiagnosed friends "just want to know one way or another whether they are autistic".

My doctor said it sounds like anxiety disorder but I know it's not, I don't feel anxious with people or places, I just feel out of place and don't understand people. However, this same doctor told my mother my sister who is 10 has anxiety disorder when she was referred for adhd assessment and she has since been diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD and odd and is now being assessed for asd. But he is the doctor to go to to get things done so I'm hoping I will hear something soon.

Well done for going for a diagnosis by the way, I'm glad to hear that it's helped you :)

 

You can change your doctor and not have to give a reason. i changed mine to a different one in the practice then ironically the "old" doctor referred me to the physio years after saying "i dont have ME"! to be diagnosed with fibro instead.

 

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I have, at the age of 54, just started on the road towards a formal diagnosis. I have been referred for assessment by my GP but I have no idea how long the process will take. I have only recently come to the realisation that many of my difficulties over the years have been due to AS. At the moment I am finding it all a bit confusing. On the one hand I feel enormous relief that finally I know what it is that makes me different (or difficult, or both!). But on the other hand I am struggling to accept it. I believe that my mother also has AS.

 

Interestingly none of the few people I have confided in have expressed any surprise at all. One even said, 'but I have always know that about you'. She hadn't felt I was ready to hear it though and I guess she is right.

 

I am glad that you feel so good about the diagnosis and it gives me hope that I will feel the same if or when I also get confirmation of what I already know!

 

Good luck with getting a diagnosis.

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Hi,

 

I was diagnosed when I was 43 after a lifetime of knowing I was different and actually having been referred to childrens health services in the 1960's for displaying the same characteristics of what now forms the basis of the Asperger Syndrome diagnostic criteria.

 

I'm now 50.

 

Diagnosis was initially a relief "hey, I am different after all !" but then sadness and anger at the "wasted time" and how things might have been different if the diagnosis could have been made earlier. It does makes sense of my pre-disposition to depression, compulsions, very limited range of interests ete etc.

 

I have openly declared my diagnosis at work, partially to raise awareness of Autism, spectrum disorders etc. Did it help? Difficult to say. I don't need to wear shoes if I don't want to - that seems to be acceptable but I'm finding getting employers to take my other requirements seriously is a real nightmare. The phrase "reasonable adjustment" is no help at all when it comes to things like sensory issues or dyspraxia as they aren't as tangible as other disabilities eg wheelchair users (no disrespect to wheelchair users, just using as an example) I find that the "normal" people just can't understand how much it does affect people with AS etc.

 

 

Tenhands

Edited by Tenhands

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I don't wear shoes at work unless it's cold. I'd never linked it with the Asperger's before. Is it a common aspie thing, wanting to take off your shoes?

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I am 28. I was diagnosed two years ago.

 

Was I relieved? Yes. Absolutely. It has changed my life for the better - greater understanding, insight, support, acceptance etc. I am very open about my diagnosis. I've lost friends because of it, but the way I look at that is that if something as small as a label dictates how they choose friends despite their previous experience, then perhaps I am better off without them.

 

On the other hand, it took me a very long time to come to terms with feelings of great frustration and resentment. For many, many years I just *knew* that I wasn't NT. I didn't know anything about ASC back then, the concept of NT, etc etc. But I KNEW that I was different. Despite many years of trying to express myself to doctors etc, I never felt as though I was being listened to. Growing up, I was subjected to horrendous bullying and parental abuse because I didn't "fit in". When I received my dx, the feeling of relief was intermingled with anger that it could and should have been recognised much, much earlier if many professionals (and we really are talking in terms of at least double-figure numbers here given things like moving homes and other issues) had the proper awareness. It was pure luck that I was eventually referred for a dx and went through that process. It felt like a lottery.

 

These days I feel as though my life is now in my control. I have a dedicated NHS consultant who I see regularly to talk about issues and formulate coping strategies. My "label" has led to access to things such as DLA and additional protection in employment where previously I would find it extremely hard to keep down a job because my difficulties would just be seen as "undesirable personality traits" (and that was from a certain public health organisation that employed me). I am able to explain, if I so choose, to friends and colleagues - minimising misunderstandings and preventing potential problems, and improving my success at social ineraction. After a history of short-term, failed relationships I now have a life partner, and because of the intervention and support I receive they now also act as my carer to minimise my difficulties in certain situations.

 

Because of my past experience and my knowledge around ASC, I am now also very active and passionate about ASC awareness, training, discrimination, etc. I am proud to say that I have managed to help many people who have had similar experiences to myself, who themselves have since managed to access support, DXs etc. I have successfuly challenged practices that excluded people on the spectrum from being treated equally in areas such as employment and provision of services. I am now working on designing an autism-awareness course in my workplace so that all staff have a basic knowledge of autism and how to approach those on the spectrum.

 

We have come so far compared to where we were just a few short years ago. And we have much further to go as well. My ideal goal is that I want to see the day where noone on the spectrum ever has to experience the sort of problems that I did. I think we can get there, but only if we all stand up and fight for it.

 

Sorry if I have rambled :-)

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Thank you, everyone, for all your comments - really helpful indeed.

 

However, when I said I've outed myself, I didn't actually mean that I've made a big declaration at work! I've decided that I'll keep it to myself unless specifically asked, simply that I initiated the process all on my lonesome, and have emerged at the other end with some kind of explanation for all the difficulties I previously experienced. I agree that making a declaration at work can be fraught with problems, and I wouldn't actually want people to make allowances for me. However, I have decided to get out of child protection social work, and to explore other opportunities that would satisfy my need for predictability but also to allow me to use my hugely analytical mind - I really have to get cracking at the job hunting business.

 

On the home front, my wife has kindly told her mother in Essex, so that means that the entire population of that county know about me! I've told my brother in north Wales, and he wasn't surprised - we both agreed that he is Neuro-typical but that maybe my two other brothers have AS. Amongst friends in my own immediate vicinity, my dx shouldn't be an issue.

 

I'm so glad that I've got the dx, there's certainly no going back, but I already find myself swinging from a little anger to a little relief, then some momentary denial. I guess I'll plateau at some point by which time I'll find myself in a better position all-round.

 

 

 

 

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I don't wear shoes at work unless it's cold. I'd never linked it with the Asperger's before. Is it a common aspie thing, wanting to take off your shoes?

 

Hi Tally,

I don't know, I just hate the feel of shoes. Might be a sensory thing. I can't go barefoot altogether at work, I have to wear socks, which also irritate my feet.

 

Right now my feet are fully liberated and displaying my partial syndactyly (webbed 2nd + 3rd toes) which does appear to be a common physical feature in Aspergers ! Mebbe my Aspie toes just want to show off !!

 

Regards

Tenhands

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you, everyone, for all your comments - really helpful indeed.

 

However, when I said I've outed myself, I didn't actually mean that I've made a big declaration at work! I've decided that I'll keep it to myself unless specifically asked, simply that I initiated the process all on my lonesome, and have emerged at the other end with some kind of explanation for all the difficulties I previously experienced. I agree that making a declaration at work can be fraught with problems, and I wouldn't actually want people to make allowances for me. However, I have decided to get out of child protection social work, and to explore other opportunities that would satisfy my need for predictability but also to allow me to use my hugely analytical mind - I really have to get cracking at the job hunting business.

Good luck with the job hunting. I went from science to IT with a bit of (very failed)people management inbetween. At least with diagnosis I could consolidate the fact that I was never going to be good at people management. They are just too random and don't follow perfectly adequate management theories :rolleyes:

Tenhands

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Good luck with the job hunting. I went from science to IT with a bit of (very failed)people management inbetween. At least with diagnosis I could consolidate the fact that I was never going to be good at people management. They are just too random and don't follow perfectly adequate management theories :rolleyes:

Tenhands

 

i found psychometric testing at my job centre helped me choose a career path.

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What a wonderful inspiration you are :)

 

My son was 20 when he was finally diagnosed but we do believe my husband who is 49 also has AS and he has been wondering about getting tested too. After reading what you said, he said he would go for it:)

 

Now I know a little about AS so many things in my marriage make so much sense.

 

Now I know him not talking is not him being in a mood :)

 

 

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I have, at the age of 54, just started on the road towards a formal diagnosis. I have been referred for assessment by my GP but I have no idea how long the process will take. I have only recently come to the realisation that many of my difficulties over the years have been due to AS. At the moment I am finding it all a bit confusing. On the one hand I feel enormous relief that finally I know what it is that makes me different (or difficult, or both!). But on the other hand I am struggling to accept it. I believe that my mother also has AS.

 

Interestingly none of the few people I have confided in have expressed any surprise at all. One even said, 'but I have always know that about you'. She hadn't felt I was ready to hear it though and I guess she is right.

 

I am glad that you feel so good about the diagnosis and it gives me hope that I will feel the same if or when I also get confirmation of what I already know!

 

 

Hi, I do hope you don't have to wait too long for the assessment. Although there's some comfort in not knowing either way whether you'll be diagnosed, it's such a relief to get it out of the way. I dare not say how much I paid to get myself diagnosed - quite frankly it does seems quite ironic that you pay a tidy some just to get what has to be not the best news in the world! I'm pretty sure two of my brothers in north Wales have the condition. Good luck.

 

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i found psychometric testing at my job centre helped me choose a career path.

 

With psychometric testing, do you have to be unemployed to get this at the job centre? Thanks

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What a wonderful inspiration you are :)

 

My son was 20 when he was finally diagnosed but we do believe my husband who is 49 also has AS and he has been wondering about getting tested too. After reading what you said, he said he would go for it:)

 

Now I know a little about AS so many things in my marriage make so much sense.

 

Now I know him not talking is not him being in a mood :)

 

 

Hi, I hope you don't mind, but I read your post out to my wife and she says she completely empathises with you! What does that say about the condition?!? LOL

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Hi, I do hope you don't have to wait too long for the assessment. Although there's some comfort in not knowing either way whether you'll be diagnosed, it's such a relief to get it out of the way. I dare not say how much I paid to get myself diagnosed - quite frankly it does seems quite ironic that you pay a tidy some just to get what has to be not the best news in the world! I'm pretty sure two of my brothers in north Wales have the condition. Good luck.

 

Thank you. I have an appointment on the 3rd August but I don't actually know who with. I intend to go armed with a book I have recently read (Aspergirls Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome) which sets out some of the differences encountered by females with AS and which describes me to a T. I know it doesn't really matter whether I have a formal diagnosis or not, but somehow I feel it will just make me feel better. :)

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Hi there,

 

My son was diagnosed with ASD a year ago.

 

After obsessively researching for many months, I did come to wonder whether I may have AS. At first I wasn't sure because many of the websites for AS/ASD still describe AS in the typically "male" way - whereas recent research has discovered that AS presents differently in women and it can appear to be quite distinct - this has meant that many women have gone undiagnosed. When I started to read about specifically female AS, I discovered I related to a large majority of the traits/feelings/symptoms etc...

 

I'm still at the stage of discovery right now, I'm still trying to process it all. It's been quite difficult for me because I have, (and do) suffer from quite a range of problems and it feels very peculiar to have an answer and I do feel that if I had been diagnosed in the past, it would have made a great difference to me. I do want to seek diagnosis but don't really know where to start - first I need a psychiatrist that has experience diagnosing adults with AS and then I would rather like one who is also aware of the differences between men and women with AS! What did you have to go through to be diagnosed?

 

Nat

 

 

Well, here goes! I was yesterday diagnosed as having AS - what a surprise. . . . . NOT! And I paid a good wack for the privilege of having label attached to me to explain my alternative thought processes! There I was, trundling west on the M4 with my wife, coming back home after the diagnosis, when we cast our minds back to when we were making a similar return journey after Professor Fraser diagnosed our son some thirteen years previously!

 

In all seriousness, though, the diagnoses is hugely significant for me, for it means I can focus what I'm good at, less at what I'm not good at, and I know I can get help/advice to overcome my deficits - if I choose to. I can now come to terms with who and what I am. Diagnosis comes as a great relief, and now I can plan for my future, and become less tense about myself.

 

For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS?

 

For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made?

 

Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"

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I'm incredibly relieved that my daughter has been diagnosed at an early age so she has at least a chance of getting support through the difficult school years and a little more understanding. The main thing I want for her in her life is to like herself and be confident and to do that, it's important that she understands herself. I don't see ASD anywhere else in my family (sounds like that puts us in the minority). However, before the diagnosis the skills I was using to support her and 'translate' the world for her were skills I'd developed in supporting my best friend. He's 38 and has a horrible life where all friendships and relationships spectacularly implode and he doesn't understand why. Social skills are very poor, people get nervous around him because they say they can't 'read' him, etc. Someone mentioned AS to him a couple of years ago and he got really angry. Now I know about my daughter, I'm more convinced that AS explains so much about him. He did take a look at a website but was looking for details of individuals who didn't fit his profile because he doesn't want it to be true. He says he doesn't want there to be anything else wrong with him (he has other stuff) and he's very negative about AS. I wish I could help him but I can't tell him I think he has AS too. It seems like he's only happy when he visits us, I think he feels relaxed and kind of protected and without thinking about it I smooth the way in the awkward social situations translating both ways between him and the people he's talking too (I'm good at ignoring the funny looks he gets from people and he doesn't notice it). I wish he lived closer so I could mother-hen him more :unsure:. I'm so glad my daughter has a chance to accept AS and the positive traits it gives her so she can like herself instead of hating life like my friend does. :(.

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<!--quoteo(post=291957:date=Jul 14 2010, 10:37 PM:name=ridvan)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ridvan @ Jul 14 2010, 10:37 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=291957"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Hi, I do hope you don't have to wait too long for the assessment. Although there's some comfort in not knowing either way whether you'll be diagnosed, it's such a relief to get it out of the way. I dare not say how much I paid to get myself diagnosed - quite frankly it does seems quite ironic that you pay a tidy some just to get what has to be not the best news in the world! I'm pretty sure two of my brothers in north Wales have the condition. Good luck.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

 

Thank you. I have an appointment on the 3rd August but I don't actually know who with. I intend to go armed with a book I have recently read (Aspergirls Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome) which sets out some of the differences encountered by females with AS and which describes me to a T. I know it doesn't really matter whether I have a formal diagnosis or not, but somehow I feel it will just make me feel better. <img src="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

 

 

Hi there - It's been a while since I've been on here. I was wondering how your appointment went and whether you are any where nearer a diagnosis?

 

Best wishes

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My daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 22 after her son was diagnosed. Myself and several other family members immediately thought of my husband (now age 52) and we think its likely he has Asperger's, also his uncle and grandfather. However, he gets through life reasonably well, he has had problems in the past with depression and feeling at a loss with his career, and possibly then would have been the time to look into it. At the moment though we dont feel anything could be gained through him going through this. I do admire you ridvan for going through with it, though, and hope you feel its been worthwhile.

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