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KarenT

Asperger's in mainstream

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My AS son (age 6, provisional dx) really enjoys his mainstream school and thrives on the structure. After all the problems we had last week on holiday he has settled down massively after just a day back in class - the change in him is fantastic. However, I read so much about AS children being horribly stressed in m/s and would love to hear of anyone who's doing well. James does go loopy when he comes out of school but then they all do that - he's just a bit more extreme than the rest, as he is in all things. I can't really decide whether he's stressed or not - he doesn't seem to be but I think I remember Carole (might have got that wrong) saying that her ds also seemed to be coping well in mainstream until he reached secondary school when it all fell apart.

 

Just trying to look ahead to the future a little bit. Any thoughts would be welcome.

 

Karen

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Me me me!!! :D

 

And not just in primary school, but in secondary school too. (It was post-school, in college and uni, where I struggled the most, due to the increasing lack of structure and other factors.)

 

Check out this thread, where I wrote in some detail about my experience with Asperger's in mainstream school ...

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=2190

(But do bear in mind I had no diagnosis of Asperger's until I was 20 - I'm now 24.) You may like to read other people's contributions in that thread too. :)

 

Also, where you see a link to another thread in that post of mine, you may find it easier to use this link instead:

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...indpost&p=24242

 

Hope you find everything I'm pointing you in the direction of! :lol:

 

James

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My son is in mainstream and he loves it,more to the point they love him!

 

He was diagnosed at nearly 11 yrs. Before that, I won't deny there were problems. Most of these, surprise surprise, were around playtimes and lunchtimes. We didn't spot the problem although, we were working on it with the schools concerned. When we twigged what was wrong (the school too a few days later) everything fell into place!

 

He was diagnosed within 6 months. The school he was at were fantastic - we talked to each other frequently. That (and I cannot stress this enough!), made a huge difference to how he coped, and how they coped with him. When he transfered from middle to upper we got talking to them nearly a year before he went up. They got to know us, we got to know them and Phasmid Jr had extra visits to the school to meet his new teachers and get to know the layout of the school.

 

Shortly before the end of his final term at middle we wrote out a 'This is Pahsmid Jr' letter for his new school. It described what sort of things would upset him, how he would react and what they could do to help him cope. The school said nobody had ever done this before and what a brilliant idea it was. It was copied to all the staff he was going to have teach him the next year - we know this as we saw the copies on his first parents evening. Whats more we could tell they had read it too.

 

They went out of their way to help him setlle. Problems have occured...BUT, they have nipped them in the bud. They have done all we have ever asked (and often more). But all the time we keep talking. They phone/write when something is going to change routine and we let them know of home issues that may affect Phas Jr at school.

 

The important thing (academically) is he is a high flier (his predicted grades for GCSE's have blown us away). They have kept him working at things, kept him interested and kept him keen. He is thriving. They describe him as a model student. We describe them as simply fantastic!

 

He to used to come home and rage. But home is the place where it is safe to 'let it out' after keeping things in check all day. It is not unusual - that said it rarely happens these days (he is going on 16). Bullying has occured, despite the best efforts of both schools.However, they dealt with it well. Informing us if anything had occured at school and we inform them if it happens on the way home - they always take it seriously and have always met it head on, sorted it and made sure we knew the 'who's, what's and whens etc'

 

Soooooooo, if your son's happy and making progress it can continue. Transfer time has to be well thought out - but you can do much of this yourselves as well as what the schools arrange regarding this, you should get talking to the new school well ahead of time.

 

Hope that helps settle your mind. I know only too well that we have been lucky. My job is in education and perhaps 'knowing the ropes' made a difference - I don't know. But we, and he, are living proof that mainstream can work for some.

 

Good luck.

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My son is in mainstream and he loves it,more to the point they love him!

I think thats the point really, when T was at his last primary school, they loved him and he thrived, admittedly it was only for the last year, but only once before in first school had been that happy, I think it is down to the teaching staff and attitude of the school.

 

I have many times considered T to be like marmite as far as schools go, they love him or hate him, and he can sense the difference.

 

HHxx

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Thanks so much for those replies, both of which were really helpful. TBH I'm very happy with James' school and want him to stay there if at all possible, but I also wanted to feel secure in my belief that it's the right place to be, and to know that I'm not burying my head in the sand and hiding away from 'the inevitable'.

 

As he's so much better when he is in a school environment, I'm looking around now for organised summer activities I can book him on to maintain a bit of that structure he seems to crave. It means that we might not see as much of him as we're used to during the holidays, but at least when we do it will be calmer and more settled and we'll all enjoy each other much more.

 

Phasmid, your school experiences sounds fantastic. It just goes to show what can be done with dedicated staff who truly want to help, instead of those who simply choose to sweep 'problems' under the carpet. LIke you, we've had enormous support from James' class teachers and the SENCO, all of whom have brought in people I didn't even know existed to observe him and try to get more help (eg Autism Liaison Worker, who's coming back AGAIN tomorrow to observe him on the yard, at the request of his class teacher). I just hope that continues as he progresses through school.

 

Thanks for all the positives, I feel better now!

 

Karen

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Myself and my sister did though some years where better when we had teachers who could work with our 'littleways' and awful when we had teachers who wanted to make us fit their idea of how we should think and act and behave. That always made us worse.

 

Sixth form was great I finally got to study what I wanted instead of all the silly bits others insisted.

My sister tried college instead of sixth form.

The lack of structure was a disaster and she failed after six months and found a job with a LOT of structure which she has thrived in and worked her way up in as it allows her to use her high IQ and photographic memory in a positive way.

 

My school quickly worked out I was a menace if left with no purpose and a very understanding teacher gave me access to the science labs to 'help set things up' run extra class work experiments and help run a biology club.

Before that I HATED breaks and lunch as I never knew what to do and everyone else did.

 

The attittude of the school and the tecahers makes a big differance for able ASDs.

 

My eldest daughter thrives in secondary with GCSE work two years early for her 'special interests' Nathan failed because he could not cope with the noise and is autistic (very) Sam has a potential to survive though like his sister before him hates juniors as he is bored and is champing at the bit to gain access to the tech and science labs he has seen at his sisters school.

 

I have to also admit we have been lucky with schools and the fact most of us except my sister and Nathan are 'outgoing but very odd'.

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Like HH we've had both experiences

At primary, pre-dx, things got progressively worse until Com was just a ball of fury under the table.

Most of this was because no one knew what was wrong and nothing seemed to work (the school really did put huge efforts into helping him)

once diagnosed and statemented life at school improved considerably - he was understood much better and the strategies in place were appropriate (mostly)

 

Com's best year ever was the first year of high school - he loved the structure and he had excellent support (although a lot of stuff was not really in place and we had serious concerns in some areas). He was interested and active, going to clubs, working hard and achieving academically. We were so pleased we had fought for his place!

 

unfortunately he was doing so well that the senco decided to reduce his support in September without telling us or him - he was turning up to lessons expecting support and being left outside without a word. He couldn't even organise himself to ask to go to the toilet and started wetting himself :angry:

And at the same time he lost the fantastic LSA who had really bonded with him to a new job to be replaced by 5 LSAs (that we know of)

Of course his new LSAs weren't trained, the bullying increased 10-fold and all those new teachers (10 of them) had no idea how to manage him and were regularly giving him sanctions for things like literal interpretation and personal organisation.

 

Things just went from bad to worse and this year has been a nightmare; Com is now averaging 3 incidents a day, has been threatened with exclusion, and screams for around 2 hours a night (if we're lucky) - we have called in the advisor and she now works 1:1 with him herself and has attended meetings and insisted on provision we didn't even think we could ask for but it is still very much an uphill struggle and so many mistakes have been made by the school this year that we are not sure if Com can recover

Unless there's drastic improvement this half term then ........

 

You would almost think he had been in two different schools - his best year and his worst!

 

ho hum

 

Zemanski

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What about so called special needs boarding schools that were not designed for people with AS and run by opressive head teachers backed up by prefects who are thugs? I had to attend one of these institutions.

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My son is just about to leave primary school and he has had good and bad years. Sometimes as has already been said you would think it was a different school. Last year was the worst ever. NQT who didn't have a clue and didn't want to find out. Bullying, punishments for shouting out , lack of organisation. Son self harming himself so he didn't have to go to school. When I finally went to see the head as I was getting no joy with the CT , was informed that sons behaviour had been getting worse for 6 weeks but they hadn't thought to let me know as they wanted to sort out the problem themselves! This year brilliant teacher regular communication, result happier more conteneted child who actually has begun to believe he has something to offer.

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