Is education about coping?

[Annea]

Can I ask?

 

during the fight for my two autistic daughters, one of the remarks I hear a lot is that some children with ASD cope well with main stream education.

 

When I am talkign to my friends whose children are NT, I rarely if ever hear this expression... I rarely hear them say.. so and so coped well this week, or got by this week... instead they talk in terms of what they got up to (good and bad) where they went, results they achieved, trips they attended etc...

 

My question is to everyone here....

 

In a sentence what would you sum up about what you want for your child from education?

 

For me for all my children (2 NT 2 ASD ) "I want them to experience a balance of academic and social education, to be safe and to enjoy all aspects of school life which in turn will allow them to become valued members of this society we live in"

 

What about everyone else?

 

Thanks

[Karen A]

Can I ask?

 

during the fight for my two autistic daughters, one of the remarks I hear a lot is that some children with ASD cope well with main stream education.

 

When I am talkign to my friends whose children are NT, I rarely if ever hear this expression... I rarely hear them say.. so and so coped well this week, or got by this week... instead they talk in terms of what they got up to (good and bad) where they went, results they achieved, trips they attended etc...

 

My question is to everyone here....

 

In a sentence what would you sum up about what you want for your child from education?

 

For me for all my children (2 NT 2 ASD ) "I want them to experience a balance of academic and social education, to be safe and to enjoy all aspects of school life which in turn will allow them to become valued members of this society we live in"

 

What about everyone else?

 

Thanks

 

 

Hi.

I have two sons J[NT] 14 and Ben [AS] 12.

I would agree with most of your quote and would say much the same with one adaptation.

I hope that both lads will get enough out of school to feel it is worthwhile.

However despite the fact that they are both doing extremely well academically there are many aspects of school life that they do not enjoy and a few that that they both positively dislike.

I think if you hope that your children will enjoy all aspects of school life you are setting expectations very high.

One could even argue that the reality of adult life is that much of it is a chore.

I think a certain amount of determination to stick at things that one does not enjoy is a useful preparation.

My husband and myself did not enjoy schol at all and we would certainly hope that it is a more postitive experience for both of our children.But children have their own interests and will not enjoy everything whatever setting they are in.

Karen.

[baddad]

Can I ask?

 

during the fight for my two autistic daughters, one of the remarks I hear a lot is that some children with ASD cope well with main stream education.

 

When I am talkign to my friends whose children are NT, I rarely if ever hear this expression... I rarely hear them say.. so and so coped well this week, or got by this week... instead they talk in terms of what they got up to (good and bad) where they went, results they achieved, trips they attended etc...

 

My question is to everyone here....

 

In a sentence what would you sum up about what you want for your child from education?

 

For me for all my children (2 NT 2 ASD ) "I want them to experience a balance of academic and social education, to be safe and to enjoy all aspects of school life which in turn will allow them to become valued members of this society we live in"

 

What about everyone else?

 

Thanks

 

Hi annea - that is a really interesting question, and I think it says a great deal about how expectations change and can get 'bent out of shape' for autistic children.

Certainly not coping in a mainstream school is not an exclusively autistic phenomena. There are plenty of 'NT' kids who struggle just as significantly, who refuse to attend, who play hookey or who are disruptive, aggressive, argumentative (etc etc) or who are isolated, bullied, targeted, academically challenged (etc etc)so part of the problem (for want of a better word) is how those difficluties are perceived differently where autism (or any other disability) is a factor. I hate using what has now become (for me) something of a cliche term, but it's that old 'interactional paradigm' where judgements are made about the actor on the basis of the preconceptions and prejudices of the viewer...

 

That's not all of it, of course, and I think mainstream school's for the most part have to change significantly to meet the needs of many autistic children. But by they same token, on clear evidence on things like truancy, school refusal, bullying, academic achievement (etc etc) they need to change significantly to meet the needs of many NT children too - and I don't think it is always helpful to try to distinguish between the two.

 

In a nutshell, I'd agree with your summng up:

 

"I want them to experience a balance of academic and social education, to be safe and to enjoy all aspects of school life which in turn will allow them to become valued members of this society we live in"

 

For my son that was achieved (mostly appropriately) at the mainstream primary he attended, and seems, so far, to be being achieved (mostly appropriately) at the specialised secondary school he attends. There are/have been pitfalls and benefits to both, but I think the key in both environments has been good communication between home and school. I think in either environment 'trust' can be a difficult issue, and it can be difficult for some parents to look beyond what they perceive as their own child's needs to see the wider needs of the whole class or even the school. Again, I think that can be equally true for parents of NT kids in mainstream schools, but I do think disability adds another level to those (naturally) protective instincts, and, sadly (but not surprisingly for those who've read several of my posts), that if the disability happens to be autism the focus is often more on 'can't do' than 'can do'.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Karen A]

Hi annea - that is a really interesting question, and I think it says a great deal about how expectations change and can get 'bent out of shape' for autistic children.

Certainly not coping in a mainstream school is not an exclusively autistic phenomena. There are plenty of 'NT' kids who struggle just as significantly, who refuse to attend, who play hookey or who are disruptive, aggressive, argumentative (etc etc) or who are isolated, bullied, targeted, academically challenged (etc etc)so part of the problem (for want of a better word) is how those difficluties are perceived differently where autism (or any other disability) is a factor. I hate using what has now become (for me) something of a cliche term, but it's that old 'interactional paradigm' where judgements are made about the actor on the basis of the preconceptions and prejudices of the viewer...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

Hi.

I just thought I would add there have been plenty of cases of pupils with ASD not coping in Specialist Provision .I think that for most pupils with ASD in Specialst Provision truancy is less of a problem because the pupils are more often taken to school.

 

However I am sure that all of the other issues apply.

I think that many of the general public pressume that specialist provision is appropriate for pupils with SEN and so everything would be fine if a child went there rather than a mainstream where it is considered they are not coping.

 

Although Ben is in mainstream I have attended various groups in which the majority of parents have children at the local Specialist Provision.The same issues crop up.

[Sally44]

I think there are a number of factors that altogether add up to describe the kind of school environment a child needs.

For any special school a child has to have a Statement anyway, so without one you are only looking at mainstream.

That is why an accurate Statement is very important. Sections 2 anad 3 should add up to the kind of placement in section 4, so it is very important that every need is identified and that provision is quantified and specified.

 

As far as 'coping' goes. I accept that most children have times when they are not coping for various reasons, academic, social etc. But for the 'majority' of the time the pupil should be happy and at ease in their environment, with their peers, and with the academic level and approaches being used.

 

The difficulty is that there are not a vast array of 'types' of school available. Most LEAs have mainstream or specialist which mainly seems to revolve around cognitive ability. But you can have a cognitively able child with an ASD who cannot cope mainstream, but who equally is at a level way beyond those in a special school (who may also not be a suitable social peer group).

 

I think some LEAs do have more suitable provision, but it is rare.

 

I know of other parents on the forum who have children mainstream who have posted that academically their child is doing okay, but socially they have no skills at all and the school is not teaching any such skills.

 

My son does have some social interaction skills (usually on a 1:1 basis rather than big groups), but acadmically he has a specific learning difficulty and is not making progress and the 'mainstream approaches' are not making much difference.

 

There is no 'perfect' placement. There are more options down the indpendent school route but that involves paying school fees or winning such a placement via an educational tribunal which is a costly and lengthy process. Some parents take that road and win, others lose.

 

My advice would always be to get the Statement as accurate as you can. Always go to tribunal if you need to with or without private reports, if you have evidence that the current level of provision is not working.

 

Always ensure there are baseline assessments from which to measure progress via IEPs.

 

Always try to get the SALT involved with social communication and interaction skills (it is part of their remit).

 

If your child is still not coping mainstream with the provision in the Statement, then you may need to cast your net wider ie. out of county placements via another LEA, or special school or indpendent school.

 

In my case, to a certain extent, my son is coping in mainstream primary with an 'enhanced resource' placement which gives him 25 hours support a week. I do not think that will work in secondary because the demands will be greater and the gap between him and his peers has been widening during primary due to SPLD associated with his ASD.

 

I think alot more could be done in mainstream schools. And I think that LEAs could make ASD only maintained schools (which could easily also cater for children with dyslexia/dyspraxia etc) in an environment similar to a mixed approach of mainstream/special school. Unfortunately I don't think this exists.

[Karen A]

 

 

I think alot more could be done in mainstream schools. And I think that LEAs could make ASD only maintained schools (which could easily also cater for children with dyslexia/dyspraxia etc) in an environment similar to a mixed approach of mainstream/special school. Unfortunately I don't think this exists.

 

My LA has a maintained specialist school that caters for pupils with ASD from nursery to eighteen.

However it does not cater for pupils with dyslexia,dyspraxia or pupils with AS who would be expected to obtain GCSES.

[BusyLizzie100]

The difficulty is that there are not a vast array of 'types' of school available. Most LEAs have mainstream or specialist which mainly seems to revolve around cognitive ability. But you can have a cognitively able child with an ASD who cannot cope mainstream, but who equally is at a level way beyond those in a special school (who may also not be a suitable social peer group).

 

 

We have three sons on the spectrum. The above is very true of our eldest, who is in mainstream secondary with a Statement. He is academically very able, but his anxiety is affecting his mental health to such a degree that he is on medication with psychiatric input.

 

The view on whether he is 'coping' is split. School who are not seeing how the anxiety impacts on him (he masks it very well) say he is coping and his academic results prove that; we at home and out of school who see the full extent of how the anxiety impacts on him (and the large majority of it is caused by school) say that he is not coping and the risk of breakdown is critical. There is total polarisation of the view of his needs, despite having a Statement that spells out his difficulties and needs well after we appealed… but that's another story. If this placement falls through, however, there is absolutely no other provision available to him.

 

Our second son couldn't cope at all in mainstream. By Year 3 he wasn't learning any more, was lashing out and becoming more challenging in his behaviour and ultimately began to disengage and withdraw altogether. This was despite having more than 25 hours support a week. He is now in an autism-specific setting and absolutely flourishing - no question of whether he is 'coping'! However, this setting would be inappropriate for my eldest because of his high cognitive and academic ability.

 

Our third son is about to enter Year 3 in a mainstream and is coping very well. He is very academically able. His social/emotional issues are recognised but are not impacting overmuch on his experience - yet. I add 'yet' because my experience so far has been that Keystage 2 is when issues start to materialise... I try to maintain an open mind!

 

My view is that 'coping' is not enough. No child should just be able to 'cope'. Sadly those with ASDs in mainstream very often have no choice but to 'cope' or 'fail'. It's the old square peg in a round hole situation. My first is having his corners sorely squeezed, my second was being hammered into the wrong shape and is now perfectly happy in his own odd shape, and my thirs has corners that aren't too obvious yet so the round hole doesn't cause him too much grief, just a little discomfort sometimes...

 

lizzie xx

[Annea]

This has really opened my eyes...

 

My eldest daughter, very much like your eldest son BusyLizzie, my daughter was very able academically, but one day was ahairbreadth away from a breakdown, she never went back into mainstream, she had various difficulties, sensory, as well as awful anxiety issues. At home she would often cry for hours everynight and couldn't be consoled. Due to her difficulties, she couldnt tell us what exactly had triggered off that specific meltdown.

We were constantly told she was coping at school, but she never actually took part in any part of school life other than taking notes and writing off the blackboard. Her life realyl was miserab;le and so unlike the life of most children there.

 

My youngest daughter diagnosed ASD this year, also 'copes' with her thigns are different at present, she recently had psychiatric assessment and her IQ came out at 90 with the comment that there was so much variety in the scores of subtests that this figure shouldn't be given much credence. My daughter has few if any real friends,and does very poorly in class. We now know this is because of certain problems that came up int he testing.

The school have now told us, that as she 'copes' well enough, we should lower our academic expectations and just let her get along. To me, if a problem is identified which is causing a difficulty in certain learning skills, then action should be taken to alleveiate those particular difficulties.

 

I agree that there are many children in schools that only jsut cope.... I was one of them... I was a child carer and as such basically just held my head above water. Int hose days nothing was done, but these days I would expect approprate help to be given to a child in any area of life that is causing such difficulties that they are miserable or not coping.

Unfortunaetly I can only think about my own children and their particualr problems...

 

I think my origina;l question was me wondering if my expectations re my childrens happiness are too high! SHould I expect more from school? From Teachers? It is difficult for me as I have had truly horrendous experiences both personally and for my children regarding education and thus it is really difficult to know where and when I should be fighting.

 

Also having a chronic and incurable illness I find that my reserves are not limitless as once were so I would like to choose my battles more carefully fighting only those that are relevent and not made up in my head because of silly expectations...

 

Does any of this make sense?

[BusyLizzie100]

My youngest daughter diagnosed ASD this year, also 'copes' with her thigns are different at present, she recently had psychiatric assessment and her IQ came out at 90 with the comment that there was so much variety in the scores of subtests that this figure shouldn't be given much credence. My daughter has few if any real friends,and does very poorly in class. We now know this is because of certain problems that came up int he testing.

The school have now told us, that as she 'copes' well enough, we should lower our academic expectations and just let her get along. To me, if a problem is identified which is causing a difficulty in certain learning skills, then action should be taken to alleveiate those particular difficulties.

 

 

I think it is very dangerous to use an IQ figure in identifying the needs of a child with ASD. It's very common for a child with ASD to have a very spiky cognitive profile, so that they score very high in some areas and very low in other areas. Usually a child with a learning difficulty has a cognitive profile that is more uniform, ie without peaks and troughs, albeit at a level usually lower than average. It is of course also true that a child with ASD can also have a learning difficulty.

 

My eldest is literally off the scale in some areas but extremely low in others; taking an average is pointless because it negates both the extent of each extreme and doesn't take into account the huge difference between each extreme, eg his verbal reasoning skills are very high but his spatial skills are very low, so that he has great ideas but can't record them or organise them.

 

I feel sure that only a psychologist or similar is qualified to do cognitive testing and interpret the results; it doesn't sound right if the school in your daughter's case is making its own interpretation, which sounds like a very easy way out... Apologies if I've misunderstood, but it sounds like you're saying your daughter has difficulties in certain areas? I agree that identified problems should be addressed. And even if global learning difficulties are identified, 'just letting her get along' sounds extremely dismissive...

 

I don't think your expectations are too high at all! Every child is entitled to an adequate education, by law - although the definition of 'adequate' seems to vary quite a lot - I was told not to expect a 'Rolls-Royce' service for my second son, but in the end the mainstream admitted that it couldn't meet his needs, ie couldn't even provide an 'adequate' education.

 

It doesn't sound like your daughter's school is too worried about what happens to her in the future; if she 'copes' well enough now and is just left to get along, how will that affect her ability to fulfil her potential or encourage independent living?

 

I think you have every right to ask a few more questions and get appropriate input, as necessary, such as the Educational Psychologist or autism outreach. Your daughter is likely to need strategies in the classroom that support her needs, whatever they may be, not a dismissive attitude like the one you describe.

 

Lizzie <'> >< <'>

[KezT]

In all honesty, and considering my own school experiences as a totally NT person who barely "coped" with my school years (dependng on your definition of coping I suppose...)

 

I would like my kids to enjoy school, learn both academic and social skills and leave prepared to embark on the next stage of their life.

 

In that sense, my AS son just coping is good enough - he enjoys the majority of his time at school, he is learning both academic and social skills, and the issues that he has to face will help prepare him for the next stage of his life - where he will face similar issues IMO.

[Annea]

Lizzie,

No the school are not interpreting the reports...

 

Basically what happened is this <quick history>

 

 

My youn gest daughter has always been quiet... very placid and totally different to my A/S eldest daughter, but I have always felt that certain things wern't quite right.

 

At times she has indeapth conversations with me regarding science and forensics (her true love) she loves history etc.. but ont he other hand in year 6 she was still making errors in spelling that my then 6 yr old wasnt making... BUT there was a definite difference in the outcome of a spelling depending if she was writing it down or saying it out loud.. this always seemed odd. Also she still struggles at 13 with her 2 x tables.. just cant retain the info... She also still wets herself at times and emotionally is often 'empty'

 

It was always in ym head though, even when I was terrified that she has devloped a fascination for scissors and for cutting! Curtains, bed, the wall! and even my poor cats whiskers!

 

The local psch nurse told me that she was epileptic but to me that was a ludicrous sugestion but she still had to go through all the testing!

 

Eventually she was seen by a Pyschiatrist who diagnosed ASD and then another consultant pyschologist did an ADOS test and soem other tests... it is these tests that shows:

1. she has a very limited short term memory. her working memory on 13th percentile mark?

2, She has a spiky profile but the report says it is an unusual profile but it doesnt say why.

3. Her PSI is apprently 88 on the 22nd percentile but I havent managed to find out what this is.

4. She said that she flits between different problem strategies but gives up on all of them before moving on to try something else.

5, Her FISQ is 94

 

Basically one one hand this report says that she is average. But then says in some areas she is very poor and others very high .. hence the average I suppose!

 

 

WHat I can't grasp is that at present the school havent seen sight of this report, they ahd a verbal partial report from the pyschologist. And so far her IEP targets.. are

 

 

1. Help Bxxxx to fill in her planner. Use of a school link book to assist form tutor and mum. Also form tutor is advised to look at other diaries to check they are the same.

2. Teachers are to subtly remind Bxxxx to stay on task.

3. Talk to Bxxxx about school and learning (identify how best Bethany learns).

 

But overall they say it is all about her getting through school, coping etc... I want strategies to help fill the gaps she has, help in the areas that are stopping her learning and reaching her potential.. I am just worried sick that in a year I will be no further forward. That she will have just slipped further behind.

 

On top of this, she has just hit puberty, has violent mood swings at home and is so destructive.... I am considering asking social services to come in and see if they can help but I don't want them to take her off me or something! Because I have a chronic illness I am worried that I will let her down and won't be able to give her what she needs.

 

 

Sorry I know I am rambling A LOT here...

[Karen A]

 

 

Basically one one hand this report says that she is average. But then says in some areas she is very poor and others very high .. hence the average I suppose!

 

 

 

 

 

I do not know about the exact details of the assessments.

However Ben also had a very uneven profile following EP assessments.

It is my understanding that to balance assessments out and say that a child is then average is a miss use of the information.

A profile that shows strength in some areas and weakness in others usually suggests some type of Specific Learning Difficulty for example dyspraxia,dyslexia.Although as I say I have no idea about the specifics for your daughter.

 

Provision needs to be put in place to support the areas of difficulty whilst making the best of strengths.

Ben has AS and dyspraxia.He finds some things very difficult however in some areas he is way above the average.

If Ben was supported as a child that was of average ability we would be in the worst situation.Little support would be provided where he needs help whilst he would be bored and frustrated in the areas where he is very able.

This is not the function of SEN provision at all.

Karen.

[Annea]

Thanks Karen,

My daughter was assessed for dyspraxia a few years ago and it came out borderline, we were told that this will change as she gets older as when a child gets older they improve at certain things whilst with dysraxia the gap would widen but as usual she has fallen out out of the system and not been assessed for 2 years.

 

I have written the psychologist this morning to ask for clarification of the report and to ask what it actually means in education terms.

[Sally44]

I think it is typical of children with an ASD to have a spiky profile. That is usually the thing that shows up on assessments that points towards an ASD. My son ranges on percentiles from less than 1st percentile to 92nd percentile depending on the skills required to complete the task.

 

My son is also a visual learner and struggles with reading/writing and phonics. So a system such as widgit communicate in print/symwriter is very useful.

 

I have come to the conclusion for my son that the mainstream teaching approaches are not suitable for him because ASD affects particularly how he learns.

 

He also has problems with auditory memory, working memory, sequencing auditory instructions (no problems sequencing or remembering visual instructions.

 

For example he is now 9 and his IEP is for him to consistently read 16 high frequency words (and that is after 4.5 years in school). During a 5 week period I taught my son to consistently and correctly read and write 25 words using widgit (which uses pictures and words). My son 'remembers' the whole word from the widgit picture symbol.

 

It is no good them averaging out her scores. That is not a true representation of her skills or difficulties. She probably needs to be taught using ASD approaches in a school that has experience and expertise in those approaches. She may also have a Specific Learning Difficulty, Visual Dysgraphia etc. And will also need input with social interaction skills.

 

I would find out more about what the results of the EP assessment actually mean and ask the EP to specify how a child with those results should be supported in school in terms of hours of support for specific needs and staffing arrangements.

 

Is your daughter falling behind her peers academically?

The IEP targets you mention are not SMART. (specific, measurable, achieveable, relevent and time limited). IEPs need to be SMART so that you can see and measure progress or lack of it.

 

What stage of the SEN process is she at? I presume SA+? If I were you I would request an assessment towards a Statement. That means the LEA need to ask all professionals involved (and ensure the SALT is involved too), to produce up to date reports towards a Statement.

 

Ask your LEA for their list of maintained, special and independent schools. See which ones have experience in ASDs and go and see them. You maybe able to move your child to a school that is able to meet her needs. Or you maybe able to get a Statement with very specific provision in it so that your child is best supported at her current school.

 

But 'coping' is not what anyone is after. You want your child to leave school with social skills, the best academic results they can achieve, and a positive outlook for the future. You don't want your children to leave school on the verge of a breakdown being virtually illiterate with little prospects in the real world.

[Jota]

Can I ask?

 

during the fight for my two autistic daughters, one of the remarks I hear a lot is that some children with ASD cope well with main stream education.

 

When I am talkign to my friends whose children are NT, I rarely if ever hear this expression... I rarely hear them say.. so and so coped well this week, or got by this week... instead they talk in terms of what they got up to (good and bad) where they went, results they achieved, trips they attended etc...

 

My question is to everyone here....

 

In a sentence what would you sum up about what you want for your child from education?

For me for all my children (2 NT 2 ASD ) "I want them to experience a balance of academic and social education, to be safe and to enjoy all aspects of school life which in turn will allow them to become valued members of this society we live in"

 

What about everyone else?

 

Thanks

 

My son is 6 years old and to me shows some signs that he is similar to me when I was young although an initial investigation by professionals hasn't found anything as yet.

 

For the one sentence on what I want for my child at school? Different to what I got which was nothing. My GP told me when I was in my early 30's that they didn't think children could suffer mental health issues back then when I was a child (1970's). As such I suffered terribly every single day of school and if my son is ever diagnosed with AS I hope he gets the support and understanding he would need that I didn't get.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Jota

[coolblue]

 

 

Eventually she was seen by a Pyschiatrist who diagnosed ASD and then another consultant pyschologist did an ADOS test and soem other tests... it is these tests that shows:

1. she has a very limited short term memory. her working memory on 13th percentile mark?

2, She has a spiky profile but the report says it is an unusual profile but it doesnt say why.

3. Her PSI is apprently 88 on the 22nd percentile but I havent managed to find out what this is.

4. She said that she flits between different problem strategies but gives up on all of them before moving on to try something else.

5, Her FISQ is 94

 

Basically one one hand this report says that she is average. But then says in some areas she is very poor and others very high .. hence the average I suppose!

 

 

WHat I can't grasp is that at present the school havent seen sight of this report, they ahd a verbal partial report from the pyschologist. And so far her IEP targets.. are

 

 

1. Help Bxxxx to fill in her planner. Use of a school link book to assist form tutor and mum. Also form tutor is advised to look at other diaries to check they are the same.

2. Teachers are to subtly remind Bxxxx to stay on task.

3. Talk to Bxxxx about school and learning (identify how best Bethany learns).

 

But overall they say it is all about her getting through school, coping etc... I want strategies to help fill the gaps she has, help in the areas that are stopping her learning and reaching her potential.. I am just worried sick that in a year I will be no further forward. That she will have just slipped further behind.

 

 

With regard to point 2 on the report - in my experience all 'spiky' profiles are considered unusual, because they mean, as you point out, that the child varies considerably in their abilities with different subtests - most children would show a more even profile. Of course a spiky profile tends not to be that unusual in children with learning difficulties - because they often have specific difficulties with specific skills.

 

PSI stands for Processing Speed Index and tests speed of processing of different types of information.

 

The Wikipedia entry for the Weschler Adult Intelligence test has a nice diagram that shows how the test is constructed.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wechsler_Adult_Intelligence_Scale

 

Since teachers in mainstream schools have only been required to have SEN training since last year, it is hardly surprising that schools don't use reports like this to inform their teaching. My son's SENCO told me she often couldn't understand the specialist reports she received.

 

cb

[Annea]

Thanks again for replies...

 

My daughter has only just been put on SA but she is being fast tracked... the first iep written at the end of term the second will be just as she goes back.

 

This authority has a biazzrre system whereby a child has to have two iep's written before they can be moved to SA+ farcical as they are fast tracking it.

 

It is frustrating because when she was in primary the head said she had no problems and time after time told everyone that I was trying to find fault to 'make her' like her elder sister!

It is only now that we have a diagnosis that they are suddenly sitting up believing my story!

 

As for specialist provision? There is NO suitable provision int his area! We have one ASD unit attached to a local school but this is a dreadful school and to be honest a ###### unit. I am not a fan of these units anyway (for reasons I won't go into) when my eldest daughter got her statement we asked for a priory school some 1.5 hrs away from us as this was the nearest. It changed her life. I don't know if this school would benefit this daughter in the same way as she is a very different personality but there is no other provision. They tried to get my eldest daughter into a special school where most children have downs syndrome. They fought hard for this, and it was only with the help of a really good pysciatrist and 9hrs at tribunal that we convinced them there was only one option.

 

I am really just lost right now. I have done all this before but am just feeling deflated right now.

 

 

as for SENCOS not understanding... it doesnt surprise me and I wont get into the area of teacher bashing but tonight I had a real eye opener..

 

I had all my children with me at the supermarket tonight... the only time my eldest daughter can manage... we bumped into the head teacher of the primary school my children went to and my son still did. As said above this was the head above who vehemently denies any child has any problems.. but tonight she was all over the girls... she turned to my eldest and told her she knew that she would be Ok....

 

When we walked away my daughter looked very upset... she said " doesnt that woman know that she was so responsible for thrre years of my life being runined? How can she take credit for my good exam results?" It was sad that she holds such animosity and it was an eye opener that whilst we fight for our childrens rights, our children make their own evaluations about those who affect their education... it';s not something I realised before...

[coolblue]

 

 

When we walked away my daughter looked very upset... she said " doesnt that woman know that she was so responsible for thrre years of my life being runined? How can she take credit for my good exam results?" It was sad that she holds such animosity and it was an eye opener that whilst we fight for our childrens rights, our children make their own evaluations about those who affect their education... it';s not something I realised before...

 

My son has quite noticeable problems with receptive and expressive speech. In year 3, his mainstream class teacher was an NQT with one year's experience, IYSWIM, and initially I was a bit concerned about how she would cope with him. But he seemed to respond quite well to her, and most of the hiccups were ironed out by his (then excellent) SENCO. Then, one day towards the end of the school year, he came out with this parody of a song he'd heard on TV, about his teacher, which wasn't very complimentary (it was witty rather than rude). I asked him where he'd learned this and he said he'd made it up.

 

Since he's become more verbal, more and more things have been coming out about what happened in that year at school, that make sense of some very garbled or sketchy accounts I got at the time. Since my son is a pretty unconvincing liar, and I also found that there were a lot of physical bullying incidents the school were aware of but hadn't mentioned to me, I can't see any reason to doubt what he's said.

 

The BIG problem with the education system is that it is organised round and focussed on the performance of the average child. Any school that wants to improve the attainment of children who are not within the normal range (gifted and talented, or with SEN - I've got one of each) is going to be swimming against the tide.

 

My children have each attended brilliant schools that essentially said "SATs! Pah! We are in the business of educating children, not preparing them for tests" and in both cases, the schools had pretty mediocre Ofsted reports and the HTs took early retirement due to poor health. They have also attended a school which had a glowing Ofsted report and a HT with an excellent reputation locally. In my view, it was a quite unpleasant sausage factory, and the staff had some bizarre notions about the role played by KS2 SATs in the child's future success.

 

The system goes on a lot about inclusion, but since it's structured in a way that isn't inclusive, and teachers have not been trained to teach children of all abilities for at least the last 20 years, I can quite see how education comes to be about coping for a lot of children.

 

cb

Edited September 3, 2010 by coolblue

[Karen A]

Thanks again for replies...

 

My daughter has only just been put on SA but she is being fast tracked... the first iep written at the end of term the second will be just as she goes back.

 

This authority has a biazzrre system whereby a child has to have two iep's written before they can be moved to SA+ farcical as they are fast tracking it.

 

It is frustrating because when she was in primary the head said she had no problems and time after time told everyone that I was trying to find fault to 'make her' like her elder sister!

It is only now that we have a diagnosis that they are suddenly sitting up believing my story!

 

As for specialist provision? There is NO suitable provision int his area! We have one ASD unit attached to a local school but this is a dreadful school and to be honest a ###### unit. I am not a fan of these units anyway (for reasons I won't go into) when my eldest daughter got her statement we asked for a priory school some 1.5 hrs away from us as this was the nearest. It changed her life. I don't know if this school would benefit this daughter in the same way as she is a very different personality but there is no other provision. They tried to get my eldest daughter into a special school where most children have downs syndrome. They fought hard for this, and it was only with the help of a really good pysciatrist and 9hrs at tribunal that we convinced them there was only one option.

 

I am really just lost right now. I have done all this before but am just feeling deflated right now.

 

 

as for SENCOS not understanding... it doesnt surprise me and I wont get into the area of teacher bashing but tonight I had a real eye opener..

 

I had all my children with me at the supermarket tonight... the only time my eldest daughter can manage... we bumped into the head teacher of the primary school my children went to and my son still did. As said above this was the head above who vehemently denies any child has any problems.. but tonight she was all over the girls... she turned to my eldest and told her she knew that she would be Ok....

 

When we walked away my daughter looked very upset... she said " doesnt that woman know that she was so responsible for thrre years of my life being runined? How can she take credit for my good exam results?" It was sad that she holds such animosity and it was an eye opener that whilst we fight for our childrens rights, our children make their own evaluations about those who affect their education... it';s not something I realised before...

 

It sounds as though you are in the unfortunate situation of having had to learn to navigate the system once already.

That must be a mixed blessing.Experience of having done it once before but not looking forward to the prospect of having to do it again. <'>

 

Ben has had very similar conversations to the one you described with your daughter with me.

Lots of credit for good SATS results without awareness that SATS results are not everything.

It turned out in our case that in maths Ben obtained a high level four and yet it soon became obvious at secondary school that he was not coping at that level anyway.He was put in the top group and after much stress was moved down to a group where he where he could cope.

 

My elder son went to the same primary school as my younger son.

He obtained excellent SATS results having not been in school for weeks due to stress and anxiety due to bullying.He had to sit his SATS alone because he could not get into class with his peers.The HT was so positive about his results.

I only really found out about his view of year 6 when I overheard an argument between the boys.He had been bullyed for months and had hated it.He made it very clear what he thought and I shocked how badly he felt at the time.

Karen.

[Mandapanda]

Hi Annea

 

You ask "is education is about coping?" - everybody answers the question "is school about coping?". This is the problem with Education at the moment. Everything is geared around school, we are told it is the law that children have to go to school, and even if your child is at breaking point (or beyond) you are still told that your child should be at school.

 

I hated every minute of school, but I sort of 'coped' or maybe just 'survived'? I have a very high IQ, I left school with 4 OK O-levels and am now a secretary. Education didn't really seem to figure much in my school years. My parents were not supportive or encouraging at all. There were odd glimmers - a maths teacher who helped me understand what had been like Japanese to me until she came along. I enjoyed English and Biology.

 

School as we know it was originally designed to produce a workforce for the industrial age. Not to produce great thinkers, designers, pioneers, etc. They happen in spite of school, not because of it.

 

My son loves learning, is very bright and capable. For him school, all the rules, all the other people, the noise, smells, the opportunities for being embarrassed etc, the rigidity of having to learn this now and that then, sucked all the enjoyment out of learning. He was totally unable to learn in a school environment because of all the problems the school environment caused him. This is not a case of him 'learning to do things he does not want to do'. He is home educated now and has a freedom impossible to ever achieve within a school environment. He can get involved in a subject and do it to whatever depth and detail he wants to at the speed he wants to and when he is keen and interested and therefore motivated.

 

What I want for my child from education is:

 

To enjoy learning in their own way and to be encouraged and supported in their curiosity about life, the universe and everything.

 

Idealistic it may be, but he deserves this. I would love my son to be at school and to be 'normal' but to see him suicidal as he was and to now see his love of learning and emotional intelligence returning is an absolute joy. I'm not some leftie radical hippy. I am actually quite a rule abiding conservative sort of person, but my eyes have been opened by our experience and it has been a total revelation.

 

It breaks my heart to see the constant struggles and difficulties you all have with your children and school. What is so sad is that nobody 'breaks the mould', every single person going through the school system has the same fight again.

[Annea]

It moves me so much to hear everyones experiences and shocks me that there seems to be such ignorance that many children and their parents suffer so much.

 

I thought about home ed many a time, but for me it isnt an option due to my chronic ill health. My children have to be in school because I couldn't teach them at home. But it tears me apart that often when we drop our children off, we never really know what happens behind closed doors. I am not of course talking about abuse or ill treatment, but it is so hard when we know our children need certain things and are struggling in certain areas but this never seems to get picked up in school.

 

Today, my daughter came in from school, there is a little girl who has just started year 7, she has downs syndrome, and barely coped in main stream primary. Her parents (i know them) did not want her to go to the local special school because like us all they want her to achieve the best she can (and the school really is not all that!). Thing is, she has come in with a 1-1, a chaperone, and has an adapted timetable from the off and is basically not going to be left on her own as she won't cope. They know this because she has very physical dissabilities and very obvious learning difficulties. AT this school there are a half dozen children who are diagnosed ASD apart from my daughter, and yet only my daughter is known to the ASD outreach team. She is employed by the LEA and is supposed to be informed of every child undergoing a transition but of course even this doesnt happen. It is like children with ASD really are in many places left in the cold. In one of the earlier posts someone mentions that there are many children who don'#t cope in specialised provision, does anyone think this is maybe because they have already been damaged by the system by the time they get there? My eldest had 8 years of bullying, a year out of school and was near breakdown when she entered special education. In her school every child has been traumatized to a greater or lesser degree by life and by not coping in main stream ediucation. Is this not proof that our children need assessing really early on and given correct education from the off? This is a genuine question as I suppose I am in a really whimsical mood.

 

My daughter whim I talked about in the first post started back today.... the SENCO didnt see her as promised... she was told to sit on the floor of her registration class because there were not enough chairs to go around and she was given no help or encouragment with her new timetable and change of classes. Did she cope? Yes she coped! Was she stressed.. yes as many of the students were. Will she bounce back the same? No... I get a horrible feeling in my stomach that she too will be let down and I feel I am letting it happen. It scares me.

[KarenT]

All I want for my son is to be happy, safe and to develop the skills he needs to become an independent adult with a future, and the means to make appropriate choices to achieve what he wants for himself.

 

None of that was possible while he was at school - like Mandapanda's son, mine too is home educated and is now thriving. She's right when she comments on the difference between school and education, in that (imo) education in itself shouldn't be stressful so there shouldn't be a need to 'cope' with it. The challenges come from the environment in which that education takes place and many schools are woefully inadequate for children with ASDs.

 

I know there are a lot of people on this forum who are extremely fortunate to have decent help and support for their children but this is far from the case from everyone. My son was genuinely harmed by the school system and I will never return him to it because I will never have the confidence that the professionals involved will care enough to give him the basic requirements I ask for his education. He never coped during the time he was there (five years in all) but I was constantly lied to by school and LEA staff that he was. He suffered dreadfully.

 

What I'm providing for him isn't perfect but it's a million times better than he could ever have had in the schools available to him where we live. And every day he gets up with a smile on his face and enjoys learning and socialising. He doesn't need to 'cope' because his life is good.

 

Karen

x

[Cat]

How can any child who is spending their days at school employing coping strategies be either enjoying and achieving or reaching the full potential to 'be all that they can be' - which appears to be a buzz phrase for some LAs at the moment. School should not be about coping in my opinion, it should be about learning in an environment that at least tries to meet the needs of children autistic or otherwise. If every child really did matter we would not have as many children simply trying to cope with their school day. Generally speaking autistic children and adults find it difficult to multitask so I do wonder is coping strategies impact in any way on a child's ability to learn?

 

Cat

[Sally44]

How can any child who is spending their days at school employing coping strategies be either enjoying and achieving or reaching the full potential to 'be all that they can be' - which appears to be a buzz phrase for some LAs at the moment. School should not be about coping in my opinion, it should be about learning in an environment that at least tries to meet the needs of children autistic or otherwise. If every child really did matter we would not have as many children simply trying to cope with their school day. Generally speaking autistic children and adults find it difficult to multitask so I do wonder is coping strategies impact in any way on a child's ability to learn?

 

Cat

 

That is what I feel too. Focus and attention tends to be on one thing at a time. If that 'one thing' is a copying strategy, then the child may not be able to take in any other information at the same time, meaning that they are not able to access learning during those times.

 

For example my son has poor auditory memory, and the 'self taught' strategy he uses is to repeat what he has heard that he wants to remember. That is great, BUT it means that whilst he is repeating what he heard and concentrating on that, he cannot be listening to or watching anything else. That means that learning outcomes are lessened as a result.

[Canopus]

School should not be about coping in my opinion, it should be about learning in an environment that at least tries to meet the needs of children autistic or otherwise. If every child really did matter we would not have as many children simply trying to cope with their school day. Generally speaking autistic children and adults find it difficult to multitask so I do wonder is coping strategies impact in any way on a child's ability to learn?

 

My parents hold the view that coping is an important part of school life. They think that learning to stick up for yourself and survive playground politics is just as important as learning the academic stuff because it prepares you for handling office politics at work.

[Mandapanda]

My parents hold the view that coping is an important part of school life. They think that learning to stick up for yourself and survive playground politics is just as important as learning the academic stuff because it prepares you for handling office politics at work.

 

Hi Canopus

 

I kind of agree with that, but if all the other stuff is stopping somebody getting any educational benefit out of school, then that is not right. There is a difference between 'character building' and having your self-confidence and self-esteem completely destroyed.

[Kathryn]

Education should involve challenges, and in that sense I think your parents were probably right Canopus. If one is finding everything easy,then something's wrong - you aren't learning.

 

However I so agree with what Cat said - if all your energies are taken up with just trying to manage the environment and not fall apart, there are no resources left over to meet the intellectual challenges that school is actually designed for.

 

Thinking of my daughter here: I gave the education system a child who at 4, was curious about how things worked, loved language, as time went on read most of the established classics of English literature and more besides, can probably answer 80% of every general knowledge question thrown at her, is funny, articulate and highly creative in speech and in print, - was so enthustiastic about starting school that she could not wait to go and meet her first teacher - and they gave her back to me at age 15 a complete mental and emotional wreck with no qualifications whatsoever. How is it possible to so completely screw up the educational chances of a child who loves learning and doesn't even present any behavioural challenges. Did the system fail her? You bet. Did she cope? Unfortunately yes, too long and too silently. Am I angry? Go figure.

 

K x

Edited September 8, 2010 by Kathryn

[JsMum]

What a person may display on the outside may be very different to what a person feels on the inside, just because a quiet well behaved child "LOOKS" like their coping, on the inside they are possibly falling apart, silent distress is the worse, because no one picks it up in the system that can help them, I was luckly in that my son Did have challenging behaviour cause no one could ignore him, but some teachers didnt understand that this was another distress signal, not coping on the inside reaches every level of that person, socially, emotionally, psychologically and the damage is iriparible, Js now out the mainstream system, others return home, but the lack of not coping on the inside is lifelong, not just for the child but the whole family, and its wounds are deep that it leaves many parents and the child in question angry and hurt for a very long timex

 

So just because she looks like she is coping doesnt nessasary mean she really is deep down or that families are coping at homex

 

JsMumx

Edited September 8, 2010 by JsMum

[bensmum2]

In my fight for the right placement for my son over the past 6 years, i have heard the words "cope" and manage" manytimes, it is notenought to cope and manage when by law he has the right to enjoy ans achieve both acdemically and socially, and be happy and confident with who he is. This will never happen while he has to "cope and manage" x

[Canopus]

Hi Canopus

 

I kind of agree with that, but if all the other stuff is stopping somebody getting any educational benefit out of school, then that is not right. There is a difference between 'character building' and having your self-confidence and self-esteem completely destroyed.

 

But where do you draw the line?

 

Education should involve challenges, and in that sense I think your parents were probably right Canopus. If one is finding everything easy,then something's wrong - you aren't learning.

 

How is challenges defined? Do you mean intellectual challenges or do you mean having to fit into and comply with a rigid system and constantly fight off bullies?

[Kathryn]

I was thinking of intellectual challenges mainly, because as I said in my post, that's what school is mainly designed for.

 

Social challenges are unavoidable - there will always be difficult people to deal with in school as in life, and it's important to learn how to negotiate and compromise, but bullying should never be tolerated. So many schools refuse to acknowledge that it goes on, and to deal with it effectively.

 

K x

[Canopus]

I was thinking of intellectual challenges mainly, because as I said in my post, that's what school is mainly designed for.

 

All kids who attend state schools have to study according to the NC which is organised by age rather than ability. Extra help and support is available for kids that are behind but next to nothing is available for kids who are ahead of the NC and find the work intellectually unchallenging.

 

Social challenges are unavoidable - there will always be difficult people to deal with in school as in life, and it's important to learn how to negotiate and compromise, but bullying should never be tolerated. So many schools refuse to acknowledge that it goes on, and to deal with it effectively.

 

I dispute certain aspects of this. Adults are free to choose where they live and work. If they are encountering problems with the people in the neighbourhood or at work that they cannot resolve then they are free to find an alternative place to live or work. Kids at school do not get this choice so they are stuck with difficult people until they leave.

[Mandapanda]

But where do you draw the line?

 

Well, that's individual to each child and each parent. I drew the line firmly at my child preferring to be dead than at school. I had no choice of drawing the line earlier as my child was trying so hard to fit in I did not know how much he was struggling until he totally fell apart.

[KarenT]

I agree mandapanda. I watched my son regress by eighteen months in five weeks, during which time none of the staff in his school came close to offering any support, despite having copies of all the home strategies we were using to good effect and agreeing that he needed every single one of them. I knew he would never be supported and feared for his mental health. I felt he'd suffered enough neglect in his life and at that point I realised he was in the wrong environment and pulled him out.

[baddad]

Well, that's individual to each child and each parent. I drew the line firmly at my child preferring to be dead than at school. I had no choice of drawing the line earlier as my child was trying so hard to fit in I did not know how much he was struggling until he totally fell apart.

 

 

Sorry if this sounds flippant - and please understand it is not a comment on your child or your situation - but isn't that a bit extreme?

I really don't remember all that many children commiting suicide when I was at school, yet logically they must have been there (taking the NAS etc view that today's higher incidence of autism is largely due to better diagnostics) coping with similar issues and doing so without the benefit of an acknowledged diagnosis or problems. I'm sure there would be exceptions - and there will be some keen to point them out to me - but even in these cases how can anyone say that's as a direct result of experiences in school? Okay, in Japan a few years ago there were reports about suicides related to poor academic results, but that was a social problem - not a 'school' one - where kids were having such a weight of expectation placed on them (mostly by parents!) that they couldn't cope with the 'failure' of B or C grades. And it also related to a youth culture of 'suicide pacts' that had nothing to do with the education system at all.

Children can 'fail' educationally for all sorts of reasons and it's not necessarily the case that the 'system' has failed them. Children can talk about suicide without actually knowing what they are talking about and for many other reasons than that they are 'suicidal'. Children can have mental health issues or social/behavioural problems that can lead them to self harm that do not arise from 'school pressure' (or any other sort of 'life' pressure) - regardless of what they may say is causing their problems, regardless of what a parent might project as being the root of their problems (and a parent can, knowingly or unknowingly, have a vested psychological interest in finding reasons outside of the home environment for that kind of projection), and/or regardless of any direct 'triggers' whatsoever.

I think one of the biggest problems in society today is that many parents seem to think children are capable of thinking like adults and that they experience the world in the same way adults do. They don't. They are children, FGS... and when they make stupid choices for stupid reasons they need adults to help them learn why those choices are stupid - not to reinforce them or to rationalise them or to 'normalise' any ridiculous threats they might make to blackmail parents into compliance.

L&P

 

BD

Edited September 14, 2010 by call me jaded

[BusyLizzie100]

Am I going back in time?!! What happened to the other recent post on this topic???

[baddad]

Am I going back in time?!! What happened to the other recent post on this topic???

 

Dunno but i'm hoping it'll reappear in some edited form, as for the life of me I can't think what was quite so objectionable about it and i was careful to point it that it was not a direct observation on anyone elses situation...

 

L&P

 

BD

[call me jaded]

Baddad I am erring on the side of caution and waiting for another mod to be available for a second opinion.

 

ETA: but as no-one is around I've done a quick edit and put the post back up.

 

Can we all please bear in mind that this is a very emotive topic and whilst some here might be able to take a very dispassionate view for other posters it an extremely difficult and emotional subject.

 

Again, can we please try to keep to the original topic about what we want from education for our children.

Edited September 14, 2010 by call me jaded

[Kathryn]

Sorry if this sounds flippant - and please understand it is not a comment on your child or your situation - but isn't that a bit extreme?

I really don't remember all that many children commiting suicide when I was at school, yet logically they must have been there (taking the NAS etc view that today's higher incidence of autism is largely due to better diagnostics) coping with similar issues and doing so without the benefit of an acknowledged diagnosis or problems. I'm sure there would be exceptions - and there will be some keen to point them out to me - but even in these cases how can anyone say that's as a direct result of experiences in school? Okay, in Japan a few years ago there were reports about suicides related to poor academic results, but that was a social problem - not a 'school' one - where kids were having such a weight of expectation placed on them (mostly by parents!) that they couldn't cope with the 'failure' of B or C grades. And it also related to a youth culture of 'suicide pacts' that had nothing to do with the education system at all.

Children can talk about suicide without actually knowing what they are talking about and for many other reasons than that they are 'suicidal'. Children can have mental health issues or social/behavioural problems that can lead them to self harm that do not arise from 'school pressure' (or any other sort of 'life' pressure) - regardless of what they may say is causing their problems, regardless of what a parent might project as being the root of their problems (and a parent can, knowingly or unknowingly, have a vested psychological interest in finding reasons outside of the home environment for that kind of projection), and/or regardless of any direct 'triggers' whatsoever.

I think one of the biggest problems in society today is that many parents seem to think children are capable of thinking like adults and that they experience the world in the same way adults do. They don't. They are children, FGS... and when they make stupid choices for stupid reasons they need adults to help them learn why those choices are stupid - not to reinforce them or to rationalise them or to 'normalise' any ridiculous threats they might make to blackmail parents into compliance.

L&P

 

BD

 

Leaving aside the question of how as a child you could possibly have judged the mental health and coping skills of all the children in your school 30 odd years ago, it does seem, despite your disclaimer, as though you're passing judgement on this parent's decision to remove her child in this situation, and by implication on the decision of every parent to remove their child in a similar situation. Of course it's not the only possible response if a child's unhappy, and I think most parents try to work within the system for as long as they can before taking this step which for many is a last resort.

 

I think it's not an "extreme" response to take a threat of this nature seriously, whether explicit or implied. I'm not sure what you mean by saying that children don't experience the world in the same way as adults do. Children can and do get depressed and depression is a big risk factor for suicide, the statistics are there - you can go to a reputable source and google em. Children can and do commit suicide - again the statistics are there. Yes I'm sure that school difficulties are not necessarily the main trigger in all of these cases, but as school is a major influence on a young person's development and self esteem, what's happening at school is always going to be relevant.

 

Sorry Jaded, I know this is a bit OT and I'm sorry if the subject is upsetting but I wanted to respond to Baddad's post which I felt was strongly judgemental and unnecessarily critical of parents in difficult situations.

 

K x

[baddad]

Leaving aside the question of how as a child you could possibly have judged the mental health and coping skills of all the children in your school 30 odd years ago,

 

As I hope you would, because I never suggested I was capable of any such thing... What I did say was a logical conclusion, based on the observation that if school made children genuinely suicidal, and alternatives to school attendance (other than truancy) weren't widely available then suicide would have been something regularly witnessed in schools 30 odd years ago. But it wasn't.

Again, with no reference whatsoever to the specifics of any individual parent's experiences, an accommodating, normalising, rationalising response to emotional blackmail will reward and perpetuate it.

And again, sorry if it sounds flippant but I do think it is extreme to talk about children 'wishing they were dead rather than having to attend school' as an emotional top trump in a thread about education. Your response, in fact, makes my point for me - that any counter argument offered will be viewed as inappropriate, judgemental or critical.

 

If we want to talk about mental health issues - which suicide and threats of suicide are - then that's a 'mental health' discussion. Rephrasing the title of this thread - Is education about coping?' we could ask 'is 'coping' part of education?' and I would say yes it is.If asked the question 'is mental illness/suicide part of education?' I would answer no - other than in the sense that mental illness will be something that some school age children will experience.

 

What I meant about children not experiencing the world in the same way as adults is more than just my opinion: it is a widely acknowledged psycholigical 'truth'. Adolescents tend to think of themselves as somehow 'immortal' or exempt from death. While they may know, intellectually, that it is a permanent thing they do not have a full conceptual or emotional understanding of it, particularly with regard to their own deaths.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Oh - paraphrasing the original title again - 'is education about coping?' Yes, in part I think it is and should be. Is life about coping. Yes, in part it is and always will be. And school - all aspects of childhood in fact - should be preparing children for that.

Edited September 15, 2010 by baddad