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gigglinggoblin

Is this disability discrimination?

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If anyone knows anything about this I would be really grateful.

 

My son is diagnosed autistic. The (mainstream) school have acknowledged he has organisational dificulties. When we met to discuss transferring him to secondary (he is yr7) I made it clear homework would not be done at home, school said no problem, we have homework club. Fab.

 

Problem arises. School says noone can actually take him to the club. He knows where it is, he needs to be independant. Whether or not he needs to go is random. It is not at a scheduled time. He cannot do this and has never been able to. And now he is getting detentions for not doing homework.

 

If a kid in a wheelchair needed to get upstairs and no one helped they wouldnt be allowed to punish that child for not getting upstairs. I am wondering if this is a similar enough situation to ask school if they are breaking the disability discrimination act.

 

If anyone has advice or opinions they would be most welcome. I need to call school tomorrow and somehow be polite.

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If a kid in a wheelchair needed to get upstairs and no one helped they wouldnt be allowed to punish that child for not getting upstairs. I am wondering if this is a similar enough situation to ask school if they are breaking the disability discrimination act.

 

 

That would depend on whether they had provided a ramp or not. Homework club is the solution they have offered to his problem with homework at home - effectively the 'ramp' - it is his, and your, choice as to whether he uses it or not. Homework club isn't part of the school day - it is something the school provides for children who, for whatever reason, can't do homework at home. I think you could probably take him in, but it would not be something the school could 'force' him to do outside of school hours if he didn't show up voluntarily.

I don't think it's disability discrimination either to not ensure a child accesses extra-curricular activities in lieu of his parents ensuring he has access to them.

Just for the sake of clarity, why have you made it clear that homework won't be done at home - are there other siblings or some other complication that prevents that, or is it just something you don't feel you can enforce? Following on from that, what prevents you from ensuring his attendance at after schools club, if that is what you and he want?

Trying to put that into perspective his school day is 'fixed' but homework club is 'overtime'. An employer that made workers work overtime would be breaking the law, and would be discriminating against those who chose not to - the complete opposite of the situation you have outlined.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

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There is some case law that has established that after school activities are very much part of the school day. If your son is guided to find the classrooms during the school day then he should have the same help for after school club.

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The problem is remembering to go. The 'ramp' is needed to get to the club. They have given him a locker to keep spares in because they are aware that he forgets things so they have acknowledged that it is a problem but on this particular issue they expect him to do it himself. The club is at lunch time, he only needs to go when he has homework so it isnt part of a routine. Its is not compulsary but he hasnt said he wont go, just that he doesnt remember. Even if I went in to get him there I am not allowed to walk around the school unsupervised so a member of staff would have to escort me escorting him. Another option was for someone to ask him if he has homework when he goes to the Learning Support Centre at break or lunch (kids can just drop in as they like and he goes there quite often). I havent even had a reply to this. His TA is with him all the time, I said she could remind him to do his homework at break time but again no response. They say they will show him boundaries by using the usual disclipinary procedure used for all the kids and that should work, it never has before and if it would I dont see why he needs his statement.

 

Homework causes a major meltdown at home. There are too many distractions and last time I suggested it he started getting stressed and it took him an hour to calm down, he hadnt even taken his books out of his bags. We encountered this at primary school and got round it by doing home work at home work club after it took 2 hours of him screaming to get a 10 minute piece of homework complete. Thats why his current school said they would continue with the plan, it worked when he had support but doesnt without.

 

It is helpful, thanks. Any opinions whether they agree with me or not are very useful, I am feeling a bit lost.

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There is some case law that has established that after school activities are very much part of the school day. If your son is guided to find the classrooms during the school day then he should have the same help for after school club.

 

Thats pretty much what I was hoping for, thanks :)

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I am also wondering if I am expecting too much in 3 weeks, unfortunately we have been fighting the LEA for 5 years now and i just dont have the patience. I know school needs time to get to know him but I dont want him to be punished because they havent figured him out yet.

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There is some case law that has established that after school activities are very much part of the school day. If your son is guided to find the classrooms during the school day then he should have the same help for after school club.

If it's in lunch hour then I don't see any reason why someone shouldn't be able to remind him - whether that's the TA, or the teacher or whoever happens to be about at the time. Other than that, though, if he is reminded but chooses not to go, I think any sort of enforcement has to come down to you.

 

I don't know, but suspect the case law being mentioned may be more to do with a child's 'right' to attend extra-curricular activities than to a school's responsibility to provide the support that enables the child to do so(?) That would be, again, an issue of access (or 'ramp') - a human rights/equality issue, rather than a 'support' issue. Again, if it's a lunchtime club, that's a moot point once the issue of attendance by choice has been established.So:

If your son is guided to find the classrooms during the school day
(when he attends)
then he should have the same help for after school club
(if he attends).

So in a nutshell (and IMO), it would seem a matter of law that if the school is offering a homework club to pupils he should have a 'right' to attend, and it would seem perfectly reasonable if the club is running at lunchtimes that he should be given a reminder to attend. Beyond that, I think any sort of pressure to attend would have to come from outside of school, and I think if pressure to attend had a negative or disruptive effect on others accessing the homework club voluntarily then those implications would have to take precedence over the needs of the one pupil being pressured to attend against his/her will.

 

L&P

 

BD

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Does he have a statement?

 

My son was exempt from Homework due to his SEN, not just academically but because of the emotional and mental distress it had on him.

 

Homework also has to meet his special needs, so has to be tailored to meet his individual needs.

 

Is the homework the same as his NT peers>? the word Im trying to say is differentiated.

 

The school also have to make Reasonable adjustments to help meet his needs.

 

It could be that he requires assistance in unstructured times and if he is at homework club at dinner time, when does have time to eat his dinner>?

 

JsMumx

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If he has problems with remembering, and organising himself then I think it is perfectly reasonable for him to have his timetable and for someone to remind him to 'cross off' what he is doing now, and to highlight to him what is next ie. "this is English lesson, so cross that off - next it is homework club".

If that is not enough then I think it is reasonable for a TA to come and collect him at the end of one lesson and walk him over to where the homework club is.

In the Enhanced Resource mainstream secondary school all the children with ASD with Statements are escorted by TAs around the school because so many of them have problems with changing environments, remembering where to go, remembering what to take with them etc.

 

Yes, we all want our children to increase in their independence skills. But where there is a difficulty that need supporting, it has to be supported or the child fails. And you would hope that the way the support is provided, that it also involves the child putting it together and learning how to do it with the hope and expectation that as an adult they may become independent in organising themselves. But they may ALWAYS need to use the structure taught to them of how to organise themselves which may involve schedules, using watch alarms for time keeping etc.

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Is this disabilty discrimination? I think you could argue it on that point.

 

But if your child has a Statement this diffiuclty should be itemised in section 2 of the Statement because the Code of Practice says that EVERY NEED SHOULD BE IDENTIFIED. And does it quantify and specify HOW that need will be met in section 3 of the Statement eg.

 

Section 2: "xxxx has problems with organising, planning and timekeeping. Unaided he will forget to produce homework on time or complete projects on schedule or may not turn up to lessons or clubs. Teaching staff and TAs need to be aware of this when planning his work in class and also any independent work he is to undertake out of school lessons. (if he has difficulties understanding what is expected of him that should also be included ie.)"

 

Section 3: "xxxx will have suitably differentiated work. His work in school will be structured using a visual timetable and printed worksheets. He will have a dedicated TA who will check his understanding of the aim of the lesson before he starts work and who will also check he has recorded any homework he is expected to do and who will check he understands what is required of him to complete that homework. Detentions for not producing homework will only take place if it is agreed between the school/TA and parent that xxxx had understood what was expected of him and was supported to achieve this and yet still did not comply.

 

xxxx will be escorted by his dedicated TA between classes and to and from homework club. The TA will also work with his teacher and xxxx to help xxxx plan any homework, essay writing or project work."

 

If he has significant difficulties it may also be worth asking about getting time extension for any exams he may take. It usually needs the application to be submitted in the year before any exams take place.

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Is this disabilty discrimination? I think you could argue it on that point.

 

 

Hi again - sorry, don't want to labour this point but I can't see how it can be discrimination, and I don't think it will help the home/school relationship to be making such accusations this early in the day.

Discrimination would be them not allowing him to attend Homework Group, which is obviously not what is being outlined. The key issue is whether he wants to attend Homework Group, whether he is not fussed either way (passive) or whether he is objecting to going or deliberately avoiding going.

If he wants to go, or is 'passively accepting' then there's no reason why prompting should be an issue for the school, and there shouldn't really be any need to accuse them of discrimination to enable that to happen.

If he is resisting going or objecting to going, then as an extra-curricular club attendeded voluntarily it would actually be discriminatory to 'force' his compliance, because they would be denying him the freedom of choice being offered to other students. Additionally, as I pointed out earlier, if he is strongly objecting to going, and this is impacting on other people trying to access the group voluntarily, then it would be discrminatory against them, because it would have a negative effect on their ability to access the additional support they have voluntarily requested.

Coming back to the 'wheelchair' analogy in the OP. The school has a duty to provide a ramp, but they do not have a 'right' or a 'duty' to force the wheelchair user to use it if they choose not to and there is no legal imperative (i.e. structured, timetabled, regular-curriculum lessons)for them to do so...

 

I don't know if you could get something like 'support for Homework Group attendance' written into a statement, but if you did it would undoubtedly still have to be by (his) agreement if the Homework Group ran in free period or after school time. If it wasn't agreed by/with him, then effectively 'Homework Club' would be 'detention'.

 

So again, the key issue is whether he wants to attend, and if not what steps you can take to make it more attractive to him. Until that's established any issues of 'discrimination' or 'wheelchairs' would seem, IMO, totally irrelevent.

 

HTH

L&P

 

BD

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DDA covers "Education and associated services" so extra curricular clubs do come within its remit. If he wants to go and needs support to attend, and he doesn't get it, it could be DD due to failure to make reasonable adjustments.

 

However I agree with Baddad above, the issue appears to be his willingness to attend an activity which is voluntary. Perhaps the best way to go is to ask for a meeting with the Senco to clarify exactly what the school can and should be expectesd to do to encourage him to go, and to make it easier for him to remember, if this is the main problem. Asking if someone can give him a daily prompt at a certain time is not unreasonable, in my opinion, and perhaps someone can be found to go with him, but the school are unlikely to want to take steps to enforce his attendance.

 

Perhaps it's the whole homework issue needs to be looked at, if he's finding it difficult and is demotivated, perhaps some adjustments need to be made to the amount/type of homework he is given?

 

K x

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If the problem is remembering to go as it isn't part of a set routine (and I think it's worth checking that "I forgot" isn't an excuse to really mean "I didn't want to go" :shame:) then can it not be made a set routine?

 

Two options:

 

1. If he has a set homework routine, he should be getting homework on set days - therefore homework club is planned into his weekly routine, say every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (or whatever fits his homework schedule)

 

2. If his homework schedule isn't that rigid, then make attendance at homework club rigid. Every day he goes to homework club (so establishing a routine) and the teacher on duty checks whether he has work to do or not and can either then dismiss him or tell him to get on with it. Maybe you could introduce into his homework planner a section where the teacher on duty signs to say he came and he had nothing to do so he went, or he came and he stayed.

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This is all really useful, thank you everyone.

 

He is willing to go but forgets without support. The school are unwilling to give him support, he is expected to be independant.

 

I have spoken to Ipsea and several teachers, heads, head of years & Sen professionals I know and they all agree it is not an unreasonable adjustment for someone to take him, what is required is for someone to collect him from the playground and walk him to the club. The nitty gritty is - does a reasonable adjustment have to be specifically written on the statement for them to be legally obliged to do it.

 

We have had another incident which has resulted in the third isolation he has had in the 3 weeks he has attended the school. It is becoming pretty clear that his support assistant isnt around a lot, often at the major stress times such as in the playground and in the hallway and this is getting him in trouble. I have a meeting on Monday with two deputy heads and I will be asking what exactly the TA is doing - 2 isolations she wasnt there, 1 isolation it was a dispute with her. I will also be asking that considering his stress points have been discussed with school at length if he flips in the corridor and seriously injures another pupil who will be responsible for the injury as this is going to be the end result.

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This is all really useful, thank you everyone.

 

He is willing to go but forgets without support. The school are unwilling to give him support, he is expected to be independant.

 

I have spoken to Ipsea and several teachers, heads, head of years & Sen professionals I know and they all agree it is not an unreasonable adjustment for someone to take him, what is required is for someone to collect him from the playground and walk him to the club. The nitty gritty is - does a reasonable adjustment have to be specifically written on the statement for them to be legally obliged to do it.

 

We have had another incident which has resulted in the third isolation he has had in the 3 weeks he has attended the school. It is becoming pretty clear that his support assistant isnt around a lot, often at the major stress times such as in the playground and in the hallway and this is getting him in trouble. I have a meeting on Monday with two deputy heads and I will be asking what exactly the TA is doing - 2 isolations she wasnt there, 1 isolation it was a dispute with her. I will also be asking that considering his stress points have been discussed with school at length if he flips in the corridor and seriously injures another pupil who will be responsible for the injury as this is going to be the end result.

 

Hi gigglinggoblin - if he is willing to go then there's no reason why they shouldn't be able to 'prompt' him, and that shouldn't really need to be written into the statement for that to happen, but if mutual agreement and commonsense does fail I would try to get it written in.

With regards to the support assistant I think you have to think about the bigger picture... You seem to be saying he needs support at all times on the playground, at all times in the hallway (which I assume means travelling to/from lessons, or from dining room to lessons/playground etc etc), and, reading between the lines, during mealtimes, breaks and all lessons too. Effectively, he seems to need a 'guard' from the moment he steps through the school gates until he steps out of them. I know others will disagree with me, but I don't think that level of supervision is reasonable adjustment in a mainstream secondary school, and if he's only been there for three weeks and has had 3 isolations it really doesn't sound like he can cope with the environment or they can cope with him. Personally, I'd hate to be his TA, because when (and it does sound like when rather than if) he does hurt another pupil it is going to be the TA who's held responsible, regardless of how tight a rein they try to keep on him, when in reality he is responsible. Regardless of any 'stress' involved it is his response to stress that is inapproriate, but there seems to be no expectation or responsibility or consequence placed on him for enacting those inappropriate responses - just on others for not stopping him from doing so. You've pretty much said yourself that you can't control these outbursts at home (which is why you want him attending Homework Group rather than doing homework at home), so I am really at a loss to understand how you expect the school to do so under circumstances that are far more restricted - in terms of the sanctions they can impose or interventions they can practice - than would be practicable at home(?)

Fair enough, you can keep hammering away at the school and redefining the statement and locking horns, and probably have the school jumping through hoops all over the place from a 'legal' point of view, but how much is he going to be able to achieve under those circumstances, how much are the school going to be able to help him if 'reasonable adjustment' is a one way street, and what are the long-term implications for everyone involved?

I believe emphatically that the home/school relationship is the key to resolving problems in school, and frankly it sounds like that's already going west after just 3 weeks. You're 'blaming' the school for every negative that arises, thinking of accusing them of disability discrimination, effectively blaming the TA for your son's outbursts (could the TA really have prevented them had he/she been there? From the fact that one incident directly involved the TA it sounds not, and while it's easy to make assumptions or accusations about the TA's abilities that can only be one part of the equation), while simultaneously expecting them to achieve extra-curricular progress with your son that you have already indicated you are unable to manage at home.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear (and thanks, BTW for indicating that you are grateful for all advice, even if it's not entirely what you want to hear :thumbs: ), but I honestly think you are getting off on the wrong foot here and that any advances your son can make will be made through improved dialogue, mutual cooperation and coordination and a 'shared perspective' with the school. If you really give that your best shot and they are clearly taking the pee then go for the jugular, but IMO that should always be the last resort rather than an opening gambit.

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

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Baddad you have hit the nail on the head. He needs a full time guard, his responses are completely innappropriate and unpredictable and are very difficult to control. I dont completely agree its up to him to control them as when we have had meltdowns in the past he hasnt always known what has happened and the things that will trigger the meltdowns are the things he has do do but cant cope with - such as stand in a noisy hall. I dont think its fair to drop him in a situation we know he cant cope with and expect him to get on with it. We control the outbursts pretty well most of the time at home, I remove him from the situation when I can see its going to happen and we avoid stuff we know will trigger a meltdown. Homework he can manage at school but at home it is a major problem (I have a friend whose child was the same, I dont know if its common but I am glad he isnt alone). I do want him to learn to control his behaviour but so far we have been teaching him to recognise when its becoming a problem and remove himself - thats not at all possible in this school environment when he hasnt an adult to help him get away. He isnt sure where stuff is yet and he cant get out of the hallway unless he goes to the learning support centre which might be at the other end of the school (so he has to cop ewith the hall the whole time he is getting there).

 

I dont actually think he will last long at this school, nor do I think he will acheive anything like what he can academically. I dont believe he is equipped to cope in a main stream school or that they are equipped to cope with him. To give the school credit I think they want to try, but in doing so they are stressing him out and giving him the opportunity to become emotionally attached so when he does have to move again it will be harder for him. We are also running the risk of him seriously injuring himself or someone else while they decide if they can manage. We were promised a special needs school but the LEA went back on their promise because he moved schools before they found one and whenever he moves he kind of resets his behaviour. Its the same pattern every time, 6 months of peace followed by 18 months of behaviour going downhill and after about 2 years they start to really struggle. Unfortunately his last move was a year ago and he hasnt 'reset' when he moved to high school so we are about a year into the cycle already. I am painfully aware that I am being harsh with the school, I dont want to be but its not really them I want to push, if I slip at all the LEA will take full advantage (they certainly have in the past) and claim we can all cope so they dont need to do anything. Because we have had to fight them so hard in the past I have come into this with a start as I mean to go on mentality.

 

I appreciate your honesty, I do agree with pretty much everything you have said. In another environment I would want him to take responsibility for his actions because I want him to grow up to be able to function in society. However the strategies we have used successfully in the past are not possible in the school he is in at the moment so we have to find another way round it and I cant see how that is going to be possible. ALthough I know he will be ok in isolation on Monday as he really quite likes it there!

 

I should mention I am also trying to be fair and pointing out when I think the school have done something nice, I am trying to keep them on side as I have worked really well with his last two primary schools. It sjust high school has been a really big jump and most of the stuff that worked before has gone out of the window

Edited by gigglinggoblin

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Just wanted to empathise.

 

My daughter also has known organisational and attention ptoblems. She wears a hearing device which has to be collected from the SEN department (which is up 3 flights of stairs) before school. She got lots of detentions for being late and they refused to allow her longer for this. (this has been allowed very recently - she is in Year 11 now!).

 

They wouldn't/could't remind her to go to clubs at lunchtime which would have helped her socially or to bring home notes about school trips etc.

 

I don't know if this would come under DDA - I think you should push for it to be included in his IEP and statement as a need.

 

Carol

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Baddad you have hit the nail on the head. He needs a full time guard, his responses are completely innappropriate and unpredictable and are very difficult to control. I dont completely agree its up to him to control them as when we have had meltdowns in the past he hasnt always known what has happened and the things that will trigger the meltdowns are the things he has do do but cant cope with - such as stand in a noisy hall. I dont think its fair to drop him in a situation we know he cant cope with and expect him to get on with it. We control the outbursts pretty well most of the time at home, I remove him from the situation when I can see its going to happen and we avoid stuff we know will trigger a meltdown. Homework he can manage at school but at home it is a major problem (I have a friend whose child was the same, I dont know if its common but I am glad he isnt alone). I do want him to learn to control his behaviour but so far we have been teaching him to recognise when its becoming a problem and remove himself - thats not at all possible in this school environment when he hasnt an adult to help him get away. He isnt sure where stuff is yet and he cant get out of the hallway unless he goes to the learning support centre which might be at the other end of the school (so he has to cop ewith the hall the whole time he is getting there).

 

I dont actually think he will last long at this school, nor do I think he will acheive anything like what he can academically. I dont believe he is equipped to cope in a main stream school or that they are equipped to cope with him. To give the school credit I think they want to try, but in doing so they are stressing him out and giving him the opportunity to become emotionally attached so when he does have to move again it will be harder for him. We are also running the risk of him seriously injuring himself or someone else while they decide if they can manage. We were promised a special needs school but the LEA went back on their promise because he moved schools before they found one and whenever he moves he kind of resets his behaviour. Its the same pattern every time, 6 months of peace followed by 18 months of behaviour going downhill and after about 2 years they start to really struggle. Unfortunately his last move was a year ago and he hasnt 'reset' when he moved to high school so we are about a year into the cycle already. I am painfully aware that I am being harsh with the school, I dont want to be but its not really them I want to push, if I slip at all the LEA will take full advantage (they certainly have in the past) and claim we can all cope so they dont need to do anything. Because we have had to fight them so hard in the past I have come into this with a start as I mean to go on mentality.

 

I appreciate your honesty, I do agree with pretty much everything you have said. In another environment I would want him to take responsibility for his actions because I want him to grow up to be able to function in society. However the strategies we have used successfully in the past are not possible in the school he is in at the moment so we have to find another way round it and I cant see how that is going to be possible. ALthough I know he will be ok in isolation on Monday as he really quite likes it there!

 

I should mention I am also trying to be fair and pointing out when I think the school have done something nice, I am trying to keep them on side as I have worked really well with his last two primary schools. It sjust high school has been a really big jump and most of the stuff that worked before has gone out of the window

 

Hi again -

A quick(ish) response to all of the above...

Firstly, great that you are being so realistic about the suitability of the school and both their and your son's ability to cope :thumbs: I can totally sympathise over your ongoing tennis match with the LEA too - this is something many, many parents find themselves involved in (including me at times)and it can be very exhausting. I do think at the moment, though, that you're maybe focussing your energy on the wrong target (school) and that in the long term that's going to pull attention away from the real issue of meeting your son's needs in an appropriate setting. I think the school can probably be your best ally in improving things for your son, but they are going to be reluctant to do that if they feel they and/or their staff are being 'blamed' for circumstances you yourself acknowledge are beyond their control however much effort and positive energy they might input. If you are saying to them, 'look, I know xyz is a problem what can we reasonably do to help?', they're going to feel far less defensive than if you are saying 'This happened - why didn't you stop it?' which is how it's coming across - even if that's not your intention - in some of the posts you've made. If you think of this problem as a triangular one, then the 'sticking point' is actually the LEA. And while it can feel like the LEA is the 'enemy' the reality is that they are controlling a tiny budget and a massively oversubscribed SE system, and, whether with the best will in the world or not, (which I'm in no way claiming it to be, BTW!) the only way of dealing with that is to dot every I, cross every T and to try to make sure that the resources that are there are used in the most practical and beneficial way.

Quite naturally, if you try to convince the LEA of your case by saying 'this is what the school and its staff are doing wrong' the school are going to buck ahgainst it. Also, quite naturally, the LEA are going to focus on 'fixing' the problems in the existing school, because the message they are being sent is that it is the school's response to your son causing the problems rather than the reality, which is your son's problems are beyond the remit of the school or any other mainstream school. You don't need to be telling the LEA what the school isn't getting right, but why they won't be able to get it right and how and why another school (and you really do need to identify this 'other school' from the outset)could get it right. Under those circumstances the school is far more likely to 'back up' your evidence for why the other school would be better, because that's a completely different thing to being asked to explain the (in context completely unreasonable allegation) that they are incompetent. And if you are saying 'he needs to be at this (other) school' and your current school are saying 'he needs to be at this (other) school' and you are both presenting evidence to prove that, then the LEA are going to find it much easier to agree too.

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Oh - PS: I didn't mean he has to 'control' his meltdowns, because obviously that is a process he has to learn and will be ongoing. But he can only learn that control by taking 'responsibility' for his actions and recognise and accept that there will be consequences. At the moment that responsibility is being passed onto others - 'who will be responsible if he injures another child? - and with an emphasis shift like that it's very unlikely he can make any progress towards self-management. He is never going to live a stress free life - nobody does. You can make all sorts of dispensations, but the reality is there will be people living less stressful lives than him and others living more stressful lives than him, but at either end of the stress scale it is down to the individual to develop strategies for dealing with stress that don't include aggression. Anything you (or school or camhs etc) can do to help that process is fantastic, of course, but if he doesn't personally take ownership of the problem then the implications, to a lesser or greater degree, can only be limiting in terms of social and personal opportunity.

Edited by baddad

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Another great reply, thanks. I have been thinking about how to phrase stuff as I think thats going to be the key. I think its pretty obvious that the support he is getting from his TA isnt enough so I guess by asking them what the plan is rather than making accusations we might get further along, the meeting we are having is because he hs had 3 isolations so its not an issue thats not going to come up!

 

I am aware of the LEAs budget, they have told me thats why he doesnt have a place at a SEN school. The reason I am so angry at them is the big fat whopping lies they have told me, theres no chance I can trust them as several people have told me things that are completely untrue (and they knew it).

 

You are right about the control and I dont ever tell him its ok, I try to show a united front with school because they want behaviour that is socially acceptable, as do I. However I think they need to consider what could happen as they dont appear to be taking the potential for violence vey seriously. Not only is this an issue that will affect my son but could cause another pupil serious damage. I just want them to realise this is likely to happen and if they need to consider themselves then maybe they will. Unfortunately the fact is that he doesnt think about the consequences so while I know he will be held responsible if something happens I know that this will make no difference to him at all. The strategies we have been using at home and primary school have not been continued at high school and tbh I cant think of any way to replace them. I will ask school what they think but it would be so much easier if they would be willing to take advice, but they have listened to very little I have said so far. I know they recently spoke to the head from the last but 1 school he went to where his behaviour was really awful so hopefully they can now accept I have some knowledge as she has been able to back up everything I have warned them about.

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