dreadful day

[jomarie]

well yesterday was such a bad day, I'm still feeling dazed & shell shocked today.

 

M has been rundown & poorly for sometime now, he's always had a tendency to develop a high temperature for no apparent reason, but this year he's seemed really quite unwell. He had a perforated ear drum in February, (which after talking to others who've suffered this, made me realise just how high his pain threshold is) & since then he's been on antibiotics several times, for the infection flaring up again, then recently he's been suffering from persistant mouth ulcers & bad stomach aches.

 

We saw the gp a few weeks ago & he said they needed a blood test to see whats going on, the first attempt at the gps treatment room the nurse didn't even speak to him, he just dug his heels in that he wasn't going to have it done. My mums a nurse & shes tried a few times to no avail.

 

Yesterday morning my mum took him to work with her to try again, but yet again nothing, though this time they did manage to get the numbing cream on him. I rang the doctors & asked if I could bring him down & get the gp to see him & to try & they said yes. It took me 25 minutes to physically carry a fighting M into the car & then carry him into the health centre & up in the lift. It was horrible with him yelling at me, & other people just staring & giving me filthy looks. When I got to the treatment room the nurse just said that they were closed now, & when I asked her to get the gp she refused, (even though he'd walked past me in the corridor & said NOTHING while I was struggling with M). While trying to sort it all out, M made a bid for freedom & I had to chase after him, up a stairwell right to the top of the building, with everyone just watching & no-one even attempting to help me, nearing the top & after shouting for him to stop (my voice breaking the whole time) I lost it completely, & just sat on a step crying hysterically, only then did M realise I was upset. When we got downstairs again, my mum had arrived with the lil un & we went to the reception where they just said that the doc had decided not to bother getting a blood sample after all!!!!! After all that!!!!! We arranged an appointment to see the gp that evening, & as sson as he'd examined M he just said that he was referring him to the paeds team instead!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

 

needless to say I've been in a terrible state ever since, I spoke to my hv straight after it all happened & on the bright side he's going to get on to the ed psychs & let them know that M's behaviour is escalating & he needs to be seen asap. But now I've got it into my head that maybe M isn't as, maybe I'm just a useless mum

 

so frustrated

[denise2]

Hi Jomarie, we went through exactly the same type of illnesses when our son was 8 and was awaiting a referral to the paediatrician. He was off school for 6 weeks with constant infections ( ear, throat skin etc.) His lymph nodes were also constantly enlarged. Asperger's had been mentioned to us in the past and like you we thought only mild. After all the infections we were reluctantly given a paediatrician appointment who diagnosed our son with classic Asperger's on the spot. After that he saw a psychologist who told us he was "well into the autistic spectrum " and not mild at all. His coping strategies and keeping everything inside him had caused the stress that had caused all the infections in his body. After his diagnosis he stopped having the illnesses but he became far more autistic in his behaviour. He explained that the diagnosis and consequent education on Asperger's had allowed him to be himself, thus relieving a lot of the stress that was bottled up inside him. He had one more infection shortly after diagnosis when he was particularly stressed but has not now needed antibiotics for nearly 2 years. He still has a lot of problems and has also had to be withdrawn from school due to anxiety and health problems, but the infections have stopped.

 

Good Luck you will get there.

 

Denise 2

[asereht]

We all have bad times you are not a useless mum. Hang in there <'>

 

Theresa

[bid]

Last week I felt completely desperate, but the kind thoughts from the people here really helped <'>

 

You're not a useless mum at all Jomarie <'> <'>

 

I do know how you feel...when my son was 7 he escaped from the hospital during an OT assessment, and I thought I'd lost him. I eventually found him just as he was about to run into the car park, and I basically had to lie on top of him...and I was heavily pregnant too! Nobody offered to help me either

 

So, you're not alone...I bet most of us have been in similar horrible situations <'>

 

Thinking of you <'>

 

Bid <'>

Edited June 14, 2005 by bid

[kazzdt]

Yep. To echo what Bid says, try to take some comfort in the fact that you're not alone. We've all been there and will all be there many more times I suspect, but it doesn't make it any easier does it? Just hang in there, tomorrows a new day.

 

 

Kaz

[oracle]

Hi Jomaire,

 

We had this with Matthew only he vomited with the temperature and eventually we seen a brilliant Pead who agreed with us that it was all stress related. We took Matthew out of school after seeing him. If a child is suffering from constant stress it can lower the immune system.

 

One thing we also agreed could be a definite possibility was that all of the antibiotics that Matthew was having were helping to create his tummy problems. Now I only give Matthew something if I really have to. Although when Matthew is ill he never does it by halves. Again that is common on the spectrum. Matthew can be laid low for weeks with a simple infection. Put it this way when the whole of his class got slapped cheek syndrome the other kids were a little of colour for three to four days. Matthew was flat on his back for four weeks. It's the same with everything he ever gets.

 

Can you make the meeting on Thursday? It would be great if you could. I can tell you who we seen. He is brilliant. I will also do whatever I can to help you with this.

 

<'> Carole

[steviegirl]

hello this is hev but on mums pc and dont know how to sign in as myself!just to say you are not a useless mum,i think this about myself often,like someone else said tommorrow is another day,you are doing the best for your child and thats all what matters,take care love hev

[juliebusfreak]

You're not a cr*p mum. You need help and reassurance. Not the kind of inhumane grief that we get at the GPs. Try to get to the meeting on Thursday?

[Jadensmum]

Hi jomarie,

 

Just wanted to send some hugs <'> <'>

 

You are not a useless mum. Having read through your post I am convinced I would have completely lost it.

 

J is only 2 so I am sure I have all this to come

 

Hope everything gets better for you.

 

Denisex

[Helen]

Try to hang on in there Jomarie <'>

[loulou]

Hi Jomarie,

 

You are not at all useless. I think you handled the situation really well. I think i would have wanted to punch the GP though! I hope you are feeling better now.

 

I have similar problems with Kai when we go to the doctors. It's a frightening experience for most children, let alone those with special needs. Last time Kai had to have an injection he told the nurse he would stab HER with the needle if she came anywhere near him . I had to restrain him whilst he was kicking and screaming so she could give him the injection (he was 5). Even the nurse was close to tears after that. When i walked back through the waiting room, everyone was staring at me and Kai was saying "I'm going to kill her!" at the top of his voice.

 

Good luck with your appointment, i hope this gets things moving forward for you,

 

Loulou x

[mossgrove]

Jomarie

 

The fact that so many of us have been through exactly the same things and know exactly what you are talking about speaks for itself.

 

It isn't all down to you being a useless Mum!

 

Simon

[elaine1]

wow that is disgusting, how could they treat you like that!. there should be at least an apology if not a downright letter saying so.

how rude!

[darky]

wow, just reading this post, wow. my son now 8, used to have terrible colds, hes had pnuemonia 3 times and been in hospital more times than i can count for wheezing. when he gets a cold its always really bad with one following another and another. if he gets a sickness bug for others 24 hours for him about a week! i wonder if it is as related? but anyway, once when my son needed iv anti biotics he had to be restrained with him kicking and screaming "help they are killing me" on top of this, one nurse tried to ive him calpol he said he didnt want it, she forced it down into his mouth threatening him with the other way of taking medication (up his bottom) and with that he spat the entire lot out right in her face.

so i sympathise with you, but if its any consolation he has been ok for about the past 2 yrs, with colds and viruses becomming few and far between and they have never found a cause, they have just said hes unlucky!

[microsoft_admin]

well yesterday was such a bad day, I'm still feeling dazed & shell shocked today.

 

M has been rundown & poorly for sometime now, he's always had a tendency to develop a high temperature for no apparent reason, but this year he's seemed really quite unwell. He had a perforated ear drum in February, (which after talking to others who've suffered this, made me realise just how high his pain threshold is) & since then he's been on antibiotics several times, for the infection flaring up again, then recently he's been suffering from persistant mouth ulcers & bad stomach aches.

 

We saw the gp a few weeks ago & he said they needed a blood test to see whats going on, the first attempt at the gps treatment room the nurse didn't even speak to him, he just dug his heels in that he wasn't going to have it done. My mums a nurse & shes tried a few times to no avail.

 

Yesterday morning my mum took him to work with her to try again, but yet again nothing, though this time they did manage to get the numbing cream on him. I rang the doctors & asked if I could bring him down & get the gp to see him & to try & they said yes. It took me 25 minutes to physically carry a fighting M into the car & then carry him into the health centre & up in the lift. It was horrible with him yelling at me, & other people just staring & giving me filthy looks. When I got to the treatment room the nurse just said that they were closed now, & when I asked her to get the gp she refused, (even though he'd walked past me in the corridor & said NOTHING while I was struggling with M). While trying to sort it all out, M made a bid for freedom & I had to chase after him, up a stairwell right to the top of the building, with everyone just watching & no-one even attempting to help me, nearing the top & after shouting for him to stop (my voice breaking the whole time) I lost it completely, & just sat on a step crying hysterically, only then did M realise I was upset. When we got downstairs again, my mum had arrived with the lil un & we went to the reception where they just said that the doc had decided not to bother getting a blood sample after all!!!!! After all that!!!!! We arranged an appointment to see the gp that evening, & as sson as he'd examined M he just said that he was referring him to the paeds team instead!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

 

needless to say I've been in a terrible state ever since, I spoke to my hv straight after it all happened & on the bright side he's going to get on to the ed psychs & let them know that M's behaviour is escalating & he needs to be seen asap. But now I've got it into my head that maybe M isn't as, maybe I'm just a useless mum

 

so frustrated

 

congratulations on being pregnant

[microsoft_admin]

my day is always like that lol