Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
mcguin

what to do now

Recommended Posts

mcguin   

well i dont know were to start ive wrote on this forum before and had some great advice .now in need again

just to fill you in my 8 yr old son is currently been on camhs waiting list for assesment for aspergers asd for 1 1/2yr now been told it could take up to another year for the assesment even though i am constantly at them with my son in a bad state emotionally and physicaly he just cant get through day to day life.although we have many problems with my son i would be here all day writing a book if i was to disscus it right now so feel free to ask anything .education is the main problem at the moment infact it always has been but now it has come to a head and i now feel im out my depth and dont know what to do .my son has had problems in school since starting he has seen an educational phycologist since end of p2 and all through p3 well i say all through she comes in about 3 times per term ,p1&2 he struggled p3 struggled at first then became more settled due to some things eventually getting put in place he had a ta and his own class teacher was more aware of asd and understood his needs ,i will describe some probs he has in school just to put you in ie picture , he cant handle change eg if his class teacher is off and he has a substatute teacher or any change in the class , he struggles with unstructure time in the class or break or lunch also the journey from class to gym etc, he hates the loud school bell or firealarm , he cant handle assembly he just cant sit for the hour at assembly,he has social and communication problems so finds it hard to interact with the other pupils the list goes on and on again if you want to ask anything please do .since going in to p4 everything has fallen apart last term he was getting suspended a lot formal and informal suspentions and we had a few sat meetings but things disscussed at these meetings began to form a pattern of things getting put in place at the meetings that looked good on paper but the school were not seeing them through when i brought this to there attention i would get the excuse of short staff or communication break down amongst the staff at a sat meeting when he was in p3 ep said my son had to have consistancy routine and had to be prepered for the transittion between p3 and p4 and the school had to do this starting from april - june for starting bk after the holidays in aug eg for him to meet his new teacher see his new class etc well none of this happened and my son was very anxious going into p4 in aug he struggles at th best of times but since starting bk in aug he has a new teacher who he hadnt met , new class up the stair , been put in a class with all new pupils none from his p3 as he was in p3/4 he was the only 1 moved to p4 as the rest from his old class got moved to a p3/4 , also a larger class of 37 pupils ,he also had his ta taken from him without being notified as she had to be assigned to a girl with greater needs than my son , since aug the school have also taken on p1,2,3 from another school due to it being demolished so now his school is full to bursting , since him starting bk school in aug he has been suspended for swearing at staff (somthing that has become a big problem for him this yr camhs has said it is related to his anxioty ) another incident he was suspended for was he was in the playground sitting next to a fence which seperates the playground from the car park the assistents didnt like him sitting there as it is near the carpark so asked him to move in my sons eyes he wasnt doing anything wrong so said he wouldnt move (somthing else he does is if he thinks hes right thn hes rght and doesnt listen to anything else)the 2 assistants couldnt handle this problem to called for the head teacher who walked down the car park way at the other end of the small fence she said to my son come with me come on walk this way so my son being very literal thinking thought she ment walk the way she was so went over the fence to follow her bk in to the building on the way she was shouting at him for going over the fence into the car park and he told her to f*** off she then thought the way to deal with that was to pretend she couldnt hear him but proced to say what was that your saying i cant hear u so my son being who he is repeated what he said and this went on between him and her he was then suspended for puting his self in danger and swearing continously .since then the head was calling me to remove him from school nearly every day not suspencions but just to remove him,then it was to be arranged for him to have an autism teacher from a local communications center who was to come in to school for 1 hour twice a week to work with him on her first day when she came to the school to meet my son he was out in the corrider due to being removed from class for disruption the autism teacher and the headteacher aproched my son to ask why he was removed and he started to swear at them just as p1 class were passing so head thought it appropret to get 1 arm /1 leg of my son and bodly take him down stairs to her office i was then called when i walked in i saw my son crying with nail marks in his arms the head teacher said she had to use such force because he was resisting i was told again to take him home she called for yet another meeting this time an emergency cat meeting bear in mind each time hes sent home and she has to arrange a meeting he has to stay home till sat can be arranged which is around 4 days at this cat meeting the head teacher admitted she is not coping with my son and she couldnt meet his needs and felt he cant cope with mainstream she suggested he would cope beter in the communications centre she also said she had spoke to the head of the communications center in great length about my son and she also thought that would be the best place but the outcome was part time education of 1hr a day still in the mainstream this was suggested by the chairmain of the meeting who was someone from girfc getting it right for every child but his first day of starting this i got a call 30mins into it to come collect him as he was kicking off and they had no idea why ,when i got down i asked my son to explaine turns out when he went in his teacher was abscent so substatute somthing the school knows effects his behaviour then he had gym right away another thing he doesnt cope with so was put out of gym ito the corrider were the janitor asked him what he was doing in the corrider he should be at the heads office as thats were he normally gets sent so my son proceded to go to the heads offic (in her words were she was having a very important meeting with heads from the high school)the head became embarassed as my son was in the corrider wripping up bits of paper in full view of her guests when she told him to stop it (shouted in his face )my son calmly told her that her breath stinks she then called me to remove him and try again next day so next day came he was in school 15 mins i get another call to remove him when i arrive he is under the stairs in the corrider rolled up in the fetol position breaking his heart refusing to come out turns out to be another communication problem , he gets this target thing were if he gets 20 stars for being good he gets to do an activity eg computer , football for 15 mins he had 19 stars and asked if he could choose football teacher replied no but shouted as she thought he ment there and then but he realy ment when he gets his 20 stars as he knew he would get them that day this caused a complet melt down as he thought he wasnt to get his reward as this has happened in the past again mostly due to staffing issues to moniter him during his reward time , again i was told to take him home and try again next day .this is were i think things get complicated i called the autism teacher and asked her in her opinion is my son in the right place she replyed no the communications center is best for him i then asked her why wasnt he there then she said has no one told you we havent any spaces available for him thats why hes been put on part time education in mainstream ,i then called my sons head teacher to disscus the situation this is when she told me in her words she said off the record the education authority are very slow at getting there finger out but if you refuse to send your son to school due to us not meeting his needs they wont be long in putting things in place for him but if you continue down the road were going tings will take a lot longer . so i stupidly (didnt know what else to do )told her thats what i would do then so she then phoned the chairman of the sat meeting and told him my intentions , that same day the headteacher calls me back to tell me a referral has been put in to a place caled youth stratagy for my son and in this place he would get an assesment of his educational needs ,at this point im thinking this sounds good a week passed with my son not in any education and i get a call from yout stratagy to go with my son and husband to view the place and have a talk so the following week we go appointment for 10.30 upon entering reception no one there except a very young lady walking up and down 15 mins pass and this younge lady sits on the reception chair and asks who were here to see she then said i will go get them another 10 mins she comes out with 2 other young ladies and a young man it was then we relised they were all around 13 14 yrs old each of them lit up a cigaret in the reception then started to argue about who owed who money for the cigarets at this point 2 boys around age 9 came running out with 2 ladies behind them the boys started to pull open the drawers in the reception desk and empty the contents over the floor the place was in meltdown at this point , we just didnt get good feeling about this place 30mins after our appointment time a socialworker and the head of this unit came out and showed us into a room werewe disscussed our son and what youth stratage was we were told it was for kids age 6 to 15 with behaviour problems who come from disadvantage families ie. mother and faher on drugs , abused at home etc at the end of the meeting these 2 people told us they didnt think this place was for our son and we agreed i then called my sons head teacher bk to tell her this and i think she thought out loud and didnt mean to as the first thing she said was well he cant come bk to my school then quickly said i will call you bk , she did and said she had words with youth stratagy and told them they will take my son as this is the only option i was told the same an given a date to send my son and was told i would be legaly in bother so after another week of saying i wouldnt send him and being told it was the only thing they were going to do for him during this time i was hospatalised with stomach probs due to stress against all we were feeling myself and husband arranged the day before his start date to see the place again we met and discused our fears and were reasured our son would be safe forgot to mention they were sending a taxi to pickup and drop off our son each day with no adult with him somthing else we were worried about as he isnt good in our car tends to unfasten seat belt open door while moving etc we were also told some one would be at the door to meet him as he went in on the morning and my son could call home when ever he wanted and if any probs they would call me to disscus how to deal with the matter so the day came which was last wed taxi came at 8.30 picked my very scared son up i never got any call so asumed everything went well taxi dropped my son off at 4.00 he came in burst in to tears said it was awful and told me of his day which went like this he went in no one to meet him except the older kids 13/14 yr olds which were hanging around they went in and told staff he was waiting he went in to get verbaly abused by the other kids break time came everyone was playing rugby my son didnt want to play so sat at the side eating his apple a few of the other boys came over to him called him a weirdo and other stuff my son told them to f*** off one of the boys picked up a traffic cone and hit my son with it this escalated to my son and this boy fighting , my son was restrained and taken indoors were in another 3 tmes got restrained somthing my son cant handle we were told from phyciatrist not to restrain him as it makes him worse ,the type of restraining consisted of putting him in a basket with his head pushed firmly between his legs before this his shoes and socks removed during this my son constantly asked them to call me which they replied no also when we was removed from the room and told to calm down in the corrider a 14 yr old girl who was passing thought it would be fun to call my son names an he nearly got in to a physical fight with her remember my son is a very nieve trusting confused 8 yr old ,so i called the place and told them my son will not be bk again told this is my only option for him to get educational assesment done , my son hasnt been bk since his first day i have since calle head teacher of school she hadnt returned my calls so i contacted head of education who has now arranged another cat meeting at the school for this friday morning ,head eventually called me again said i dont see what good this meeting will do as the only option is youth startagy before i could say anything she said save your breath and bring your thoughts to the meeting ,

omg i think i have wrote a book am very sorry this is me not saying the half of it to try keep it short any advice i would be greatful ay questions please ask many thanks again for taking time to read this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have autism I have read some of your post admit could not read it all plus 2 of my children have autism.

On the noise side I am sensitive to noise and light I use ear protection some times as noise can really make me jump and need things to be a bit quieter.

in class it would not be suitable as he would not here teacher.

 

to this day I hate change when I was small it would really get me in a tis woz the trouble is when schools numbers rise it is very differcult to meet children's needs finding hard to say what I am trying to say do not want to say the wrong thing. is there any way he could be home tutored or a different school with less numbers there is no easy answer

 

if the school is not helping him or letting him down it is not fair Have you tried your local mp he/she might be able to help

could the school ask for volunteers to help I used to help out at the school my daughters went to in time they did not need me so much so I listened to other children read these are just thoughts

Take Care kate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tally   

ANy chance you could break this up into some paragraphs?

I think you will get more readers (and replies) if you can do this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mcguin   

sorry somthing i didnt want to do was write so much

were am at right now is i dont want him to go to youth stratagy i dont think its the right place for him to be

education authority are saying its my only option

we have the meeting tommorow all i can do is put my views forward ,but i do feel intimadated at these meeting's

see how it goes at the meeting, if it doesnt go well i will contact a lawyer to see if they can help.

i have looked in to another school with smaller numbers but ea are saying thats the wrong thing to do its just moving the problem

yes he had a sreening from camhs about 2yrs ago for adhd they didnt think it was adhd but did think asd/aspergers

he is now awaiting assesment for aspergers and other asd's odd has been mentiond in this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Grace   

Hi,

 

I think you are having a terrible time and your DS really needs help and you really need some good advice!

 

To help, I have summarised what you have said initially; hope that is okay?

 

* You have an 8 year old boy who is on the waiting list for a diagnosis of Aspergers/ASD

* In the past you have had Ed Psych input and TA help at the mainstream school he was attending in Scotland (? - You talk about P4 and going back in August?)

* In the past there have been plenty of meetings and good ideas but nothing happens and there have been lots of excuses

* The transition strategies from infant to junior school did not happen; he had a new teacher, new classroom and all new children.

* 37 pupils in class and TA removed at no notice and used for another girl

* School now overcrowded as nearby school closed

* When went back into junior school, he was continually suspended, often for swearing, even though camhs have said this is due to anxiety

* Many removals from school (many seem unofficial?)

* Had meeting where agreed he would be better in nearby Communication Centre, staffed with teachers trained about autism.

* Did not happen because no room, so was put on 1 day per week at same mainstream

* Removals continued

* Son now very distraught and stressed.

* Head of current mainstream suggested 'off the record' to pull him out of school to get place quicker

* What happened in reality is that he was offered a place at a 'Youth strategy' unit for disruptive children from disadvantaged homes e.g. parents are drug users.

* Parents not happy but threatened could be in trouble with the law if don't send him.

* Totally unsuitable; even staff there agreed. Son was bullied, got into fights and was restrained.

* Parents pulled him out and meeting arranged for tomorrow.

 

 

MEETING ON FRIDAY BUT STILL SAYING SHOULD BE AT YOUTH STRATEGY UNIT - HELP!!!

Edited by Grace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Grace   

Hi,

 

Got to go out now, but my first thought is that they are guilty of educational neglect - removing his TA when he clearly needed it, without any meeting or proof that he no longer needed it, is one point.

 

I would also want to look into the legality of all those suspensions.

 

I would be getting legal advice (through National Autistic Society or other helplines if you cannot afford a solicitor, but a solicitor would be better).

 

I think they might be more motivated to help your son, if the legality of their behaviour was brought into question. But for this, you need to be clear how you do stand legally. Ask for the meeting tomorrow to be postponed if you need more time and don't mention you are seeking legal advice!

 

Best Wishes

 

Grace/x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally44   

I would contact the National Autistic Society in Scotland and see what local advice and support you can get.

 

His current placement is not working. And you need to find out what the process is in Scotland to get a different placement, and the placement that is suitable to meet his needs. If he is currently mainstream and is doing okay academically, then you maybe looking at an indpendent specialist school for children with Aspegers/communication difficulties etc.

 

Maybe others in Scotland could give advice on what support he should be getting and who would recommend it.

 

In England the SALT/Educational Psychologist and Occupational Therapist would assess and observe the child and identify all the needs/difficulties and make recommendations on how those should be met in school. That would be detailed in the Statement.

 

The Educational Psychologist is the person who says whether the child is in a suitable placement. I would recommend you speak with the NAS first and get their advice and then speak to the Educational Psychologist that knows him and send in a letter afterwards about what was discussed and agreed.

 

Any exclusions from school need to be recorded properly so that you have evidence of how badly school are currently coping. And if the Head is saying that she cannot cope then she needs to do something about that.

 

What you need to be careful about is that he is not transferred to a behavioural unit because that may not be suitable either. His 'behaviour' and 'emotional outbursts' seem directly related to his aspegers - which is not diagnosed yet? You need a diagnosis. Again the NAS should have advice on that so that you either have timescales to work to within the NHS system. Or you get an independent diagnosis.

 

You also need the SALT to assess him for his literal interpretation of language and comprehension difficulties and also to assess all aspects of receptive and expressive speech and social communication and interaction skills and self help skills and danger awareness. Ask that a SALT experienced in assessing children with Aspergers and speech disorders sees him.

 

Usually school have to invite the EP and SALT to come into school from their budget.

 

Another useful organisation is IPSEA.org.uk - but check that they can give advice relevent to Scotland.

 

Alternatively there maybe specialist autism schools in your area that are able to assess/diagnose/produce reports. But they would charge for that. If there is a school that you feel is a suitable placement for your son, then they might be able to provide such reports.

 

Or you can get your own independent psychologist, speech therapist and occupational therapist to see and assess him - again that will cost. But before you do that you need to know what is available via the Scottish system and decide what getting independent reports would be hoping to achieve or gain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Karen A   

Hi.

In England there are specific rules that LAs and schools must follow with regard to exclusions.

 

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-education-for-parents/exclusion_from_school/school_exclusion

 

ACE have some excellent advice on this link.Although it does not relate to Scotland they do have a helpline which is on the page.

They are excellent and can provide specific advice.

 

All exclusions should be documented.A parent should be notified in writing and also be made aware of the right to appeal.

An exclusion which is suggested in an informal manner...which is what I think may be happening [on the basis of Grace's summary as I am not up to reading the whole transcript .Sorry.] may not be legal.

If this happens again then contact the LA and please make them aware of the situation.

 

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/20379-sen-in-scotland/

This might be useful too.

 

 

 

Karen.

Edited by Karen A

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wasuup   

Well I dont know were to start ive wrote on this forum before and had some great advice.

 

Now in need again.

 

 

Just to fill you in my 8 yr old son is currently been on camhs waiting list for assesment for aspergers asd for 1 1/2yr now been told it could take up to another year for the assesment even though I am constantly at them with my son in a bad state emotionally and physicaly he just cant get through day to day life.

 

 

Although we have many problems with my son I would be here all day writing a book if I was to disscus it right now so feel free to ask anything.

 

 

Education is the main problem at the moment infact it always has been but now it has come to a head and I now feel im out my depth and dont know what to do.

 

 

My son has had problems in school since starting he has seen an educational phycologist since end of p2 and all through p3 well I say all through she comes in about 3 times per term ,p1&2 he struggled p3 struggled at first then became more settled due to some things eventually getting put in place he had a ta and his own class teacher was more aware of asd and understood his needs ,i will describe some probs he has in school just to put you in ie picture , he cant handle change eg if his class teacher is off and he has a substatute teacher or any change in the class , he struggles with unstructure time in the class or break or lunch also the journey from class to gym etc, he hates the loud school bell or firealarm , he cant handle assembly he just cant sit for the hour at assembly,he has social and communication problems so finds it hard to interact with the other pupils the list goes on and on again if you want to ask anything please do.

 

 

Since going in to p4 everything has fallen apart last term he was getting suspended a lot formal and informal suspentions and we had a few sat meetings but things disscussed at these meetings began to form a pattern of things getting put in place at the meetings that looked good on paper but the school were not seeing them through when I brought this to there attention I would get the excuse of short staff or communication break down amongst the staff at a sat meeting when he was in p3 ep said my son had to have consistancy routine and had to be prepered for the transittion between p3 and p4 and the school had to do this starting from april - june for starting bk after the holidays in aug eg for him to meet his new teacher see his new class etc well none of this happened and my son was very anxious going into p4 in aug he struggles at th best of times but since starting bk in aug he has a new teacher who he hadnt met.

 

 

New class up the stair , been put in a class with all new pupils none from his p3 as he was in p3/4 he was the only 1 moved to p4 as the rest from his old class got moved to a p3/4 , also a larger class of 37 pupils ,he also had his ta taken from him without being notified as she had to be assigned to a girl with greater needs than my son , since aug the school have also taken on p1,2,3 from another school due to it being demolished so now his school is full to bursting.

 

Since him starting bk school in aug he has been suspended for swearing at staff (somthing that has become a big problem for him this yr camhs has said it is related to his anxiety) another incident he was suspended for was he was in the playground sitting next to a fence which seperates the playground from the car park the assistents didnt like him sitting there as it is near the carpark so asked him to move in my sons eyes he wasnt doing anything wrong so said he wouldnt move (somthing else he does is if he thinks hes right thn hes rght and doesnt listen to anything else)the 2 assistants couldnt handle this problem to called for the head teacher who walked down the car park way at the other end of the small fence she said to my son come with me come on walk this way so my son being very literal thinking thought she ment walk the way she was so went over the fence to follow her bk in to the building on the way she was shouting at him for going over the fence into the car park and he told her to f*** off she then thought the way to deal with that was to pretend she couldnt hear him but proced to say what was that your saying i cant hear u so my son being who he is repeated what he said and this went on between him and her he was then suspended for puting his self in danger and swearing continously.

 

 

 

Since then the head was calling me to remove him from school nearly every day not suspencions but just to remove him,then it was to be arranged for him to have an autism teacher from a local communications center who was to come in to school for 1 hour twice a week to work with him on her first day when she came to the school to meet my son he was out in the corrider due to being removed from class for disruption the autism teacher and the headteacher aproched my son to ask why he was removed and he started to swear at them just as p1 class were passing so head thought it appropret to get 1 arm /1 leg of my son and bodly take him down stairs to her office I was then called when I walked in i saw my son crying with nail marks in his arms the head teacher said she had to use such force because he was resisting I was told again to take him home she called for yet another meeting this time an emergency cat meeting bear in mind each time hes sent home and she has to arrange a meeting he has to stay home till sat can be arranged which is around 4 days at this cat meeting the head teacher admitted she is not coping with my son and she couldnt meet his needs and felt he cant cope with mainstream she suggested he would cope beter in the communications centre she also said she had spoke to the head of the communications center in great length about my son and she also thought that would be the best place but the outcome was part time education of 1hr a day still in the mainstream this was suggested by the chairmain of the meeting who was someone from girfc getting it right for every child but his first day of starting this i got a call 30mins into it to come collect him as he was kicking off and they had no idea why.

 

 

 

When i got down I asked my son to explain turns out when he went in his teacher was abscent so substatute somthing the school knows effects his behaviour then he had gym right away another thing he doesnt cope with so was put out of gym ito the corrider were the janitor asked him what he was doing in the corrider he should be at the heads office as thats were he normally gets sent so my son proceded to go to the heads offic (in her words were she was having a very important meeting with heads from the high school)the head became embarassed as my son was in the corrider wripping up bits of paper in full view of her guests when she told him to stop it (shouted in his face )my son calmly told her that her breath stinks she then called me to remove him and try again next day so next day came he was in school 15 mins i get another call to remove him when i arrive he is under the stairs in the corrider rolled up in the fetol position breaking his heart refusing to come out turns out to be another communication problem , he gets this target thing were if he gets 20 stars for being good he gets to do an activity eg computer or football for 15 mins he had 19 stars and asked if he could choose football.

 

 

Teacher replied no but shouted as she thought he ment there and then but he realy ment when he gets his 20 stars as he knew he would get them that day this caused a complet melt down as he thought he wasnt to get his reward as this has happened in the past again mostly due to staffing issues to moniter him during his reward time , again i was told to take him home and try again next day.

 

 

This is were I think things get complicated I called the autism teacher and asked her in her opinion is my son in the right place she replyed no the communications center is best for him I then asked her why wasnt he there then she said has no one told you we havent any spaces available for him thats why hes been put on part time education in mainstream.

 

 

I then called my sons head teacher to disscus the situation this is when she told me in her words she said off the record the education authority are very slow at getting there finger out but if you refuse to send your son to school due to us not meeting his needs they wont be long in putting things in place for him but if you continue down the road were going tings will take a lot longer.

 

 

So I stupidly (didnt know what else to do )told her thats what I would do then so she then phoned the chairman of the sat meeting and told him my intentions.

 

 

 

That same day the headteacher calls me back to tell me a referral has been put in to a place caled youth stratagy for my son and in this place he would get an assesment of his educational needs.

 

 

 

At this point im thinking this sounds good a week passed with my son not in any education and I get a call from yout stratagy to go with my son and husband to view the place and have a talk so the following week we go appointment for 10.30 upon entering reception no one there except a very young lady walking up and down 15 mins pass and this younge lady sits on the reception chair and asks who were here to see she then said i will go get them another 10 mins she comes out with 2 other young ladies and a young man it was then we relised they were all around 13 14 yrs old each of them lit up a cigaret in the reception then started to argue about who owed who money for the cigarets at this point 2 boys around age 9 came running out with 2 ladies behind them the boys started to pull open the drawers in the reception desk and empty the contents over the floor the place was in meltdown at this point.

 

 

We just didnt get good feeling about this place 30mins after our appointment time a socialworker and the head of this unit came out and showed us into a room were we disscussed our son and what youth stratage was we were told it was for kids age 6 to 15 with behaviour problems who come from disadvantage families ie. mother and faher on drugs , abused at home etc at the end of the meeting these 2 people told us they didnt think this place was for our son and we agreed I then called my sons head teacher bk to tell her this and I think she thought out loud and didnt mean to as the first thing she said was well he cant come bk to my school then quickly said I will call you bk.

 

 

 

She did and said she had words with youth stratagy and told them they will take my son as this is the only option I was told the same an given a date to send my son and was told i would be legaly in bother so after another week of saying i wouldnt send him and being told it was the only thing they were going to do for him during this time I was hospatalised with stomach probs due to stress against all we were feeling myself.

 

 

Husband arranged the day before his start date to see the place again we met and discused our fears and were reasured our son would be safe forgot to mention they were sending a taxi to pickup and drop off our son each day with no adult with him somthing else we were worried about as he isnt good in our car tends to unfasten seat belt open door while moving etc we were also told some one would be at the door to meet him as he went in on the morning and my son could call home when ever he wanted and if any probs they would call me to disscus how to deal with the matter so the day came which was last wed taxi came at 8.30 picked my very scared son up i never got any call so asumed everything went well taxi dropped my son off at 4.00 he came in burst in to tears said it was awful and told me of his day which went like this he went in no one to meet him except the older kids 13/14 yr olds which were hanging around they went in and told staff he was waiting he went in to get verbaly abused by the other kids break time came everyone was playing rugby my son didnt want to play so sat at the side eating his apple a few of the other boys came over to him called him a weirdo and other stuff my son told them to f*** off one of the boys picked up a traffic cone and hit my son with it this escalated to my son and this boy fighting.

 

 

 

My son was restrained and taken indoors were in another 3 tmes got restrained somthing my son cant handle we were told from phyciatrist not to restrain him as it makes him worse.

 

 

The type of restraining consisted of putting him in a basket with his head pushed firmly between his legs before this his shoes and socks removed during this my son constantly asked them to call me which they replied no also when we was removed from the room and told to calm down in the corrider a 14 yr old girl who was passing thought it would be fun to call my son names an he nearly got in to a physical fight with her remember my son is a very nieve trusting confused 8 yr old.

 

 

 

So I called the place and told them my son will not be bk again told this is my only option for him to get educational assesment done , my son hasnt been bk since his first day I have since calle head teacher of school she hadnt returned my calls so I contacted head of education who has now arranged another cat meeting at the school for this friday morning.

 

 

 

Head eventually called me again said i dont see what good this meeting will do as the only option is youth startagy before I could say anything she said save your breath and bring your thoughts to the meeting.

 

 

OMG I think I have wrote a book am very sorry this is me not saying the half of it to try keep it short any advice I would be greatful ay questions please ask many thanks again for taking time to read this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wasuup   

Well I dont know were to start ive wrote on this forum before and had some great advice.

 

Now in need again.

 

 

Just to fill you in my 8 yr old son is currently been on camhs waiting list for assesment for aspergers asd for 1 1/2yr now been told it could take up to another year for the assesment even though I am constantly at them with my son in a bad state emotionally and physicaly he just cant get through day to day life.

 

 

Although we have many problems with my son I would be here all day writing a book if I was to disscus it right now so feel free to ask anything.

 

 

Education is the main problem at the moment infact it always has been but now it has come to a head and I now feel im out my depth and dont know what to do.

 

 

My son has had problems in school since starting he has seen an educational phycologist since end of p2 and all through p3 well I say all through she comes in about 3 times per term ,p1&2 he struggled p3 struggled at first then became more settled due to some things eventually getting put in place he had a ta and his own class teacher was more aware of asd and understood his needs ,i will describe some probs he has in school just to put you in ie picture , he cant handle change eg if his class teacher is off and he has a substatute teacher or any change in the class , he struggles with unstructure time in the class or break or lunch also the journey from class to gym etc, he hates the loud school bell or firealarm , he cant handle assembly he just cant sit for the hour at assembly,he has social and communication problems so finds it hard to interact with the other pupils the list goes on and on again if you want to ask anything please do.

 

 

Since going in to p4 everything has fallen apart last term he was getting suspended a lot formal and informal suspentions and we had a few sat meetings but things disscussed at these meetings began to form a pattern of things getting put in place at the meetings that looked good on paper but the school were not seeing them through when I brought this to there attention I would get the excuse of short staff or communication break down amongst the staff at a sat meeting when he was in p3 ep said my son had to have consistancy routine and had to be prepered for the transittion between p3 and p4 and the school had to do this starting from april - june for starting bk after the holidays in aug eg for him to meet his new teacher see his new class etc well none of this happened and my son was very anxious going into p4 in aug he struggles at th best of times but since starting bk in aug he has a new teacher who he hadnt met.

 

 

New class up the stair , been put in a class with all new pupils none from his p3 as he was in p3/4 he was the only 1 moved to p4 as the rest from his old class got moved to a p3/4 , also a larger class of 37 pupils ,he also had his ta taken from him without being notified as she had to be assigned to a girl with greater needs than my son , since aug the school have also taken on p1,2,3 from another school due to it being demolished so now his school is full to bursting.

 

Since him starting bk school in aug he has been suspended for swearing at staff (somthing that has become a big problem for him this yr camhs has said it is related to his anxiety) another incident he was suspended for was he was in the playground sitting next to a fence which seperates the playground from the car park the assistents didnt like him sitting there as it is near the carpark so asked him to move in my sons eyes he wasnt doing anything wrong so said he wouldnt move (somthing else he does is if he thinks hes right thn hes rght and doesnt listen to anything else)the 2 assistants couldnt handle this problem to called for the head teacher who walked down the car park way at the other end of the small fence she said to my son come with me come on walk this way so my son being very literal thinking thought she ment walk the way she was so went over the fence to follow her bk in to the building on the way she was shouting at him for going over the fence into the car park and he told her to f*** off she then thought the way to deal with that was to pretend she couldnt hear him but proced to say what was that your saying i cant hear u so my son being who he is repeated what he said and this went on between him and her he was then suspended for puting his self in danger and swearing continously.

 

 

 

Since then the head was calling me to remove him from school nearly every day not suspencions but just to remove him,then it was to be arranged for him to have an autism teacher from a local communications center who was to come in to school for 1 hour twice a week to work with him on her first day when she came to the school to meet my son he was out in the corrider due to being removed from class for disruption the autism teacher and the headteacher aproched my son to ask why he was removed and he started to swear at them just as p1 class were passing so head thought it appropret to get 1 arm /1 leg of my son and bodly take him down stairs to her office I was then called when I walked in i saw my son crying with nail marks in his arms the head teacher said she had to use such force because he was resisting I was told again to take him home she called for yet another meeting this time an emergency cat meeting bear in mind each time hes sent home and she has to arrange a meeting he has to stay home till sat can be arranged which is around 4 days at this cat meeting the head teacher admitted she is not coping with my son and she couldnt meet his needs and felt he cant cope with mainstream she suggested he would cope beter in the communications centre she also said she had spoke to the head of the communications center in great length about my son and she also thought that would be the best place but the outcome was part time education of 1hr a day still in the mainstream this was suggested by the chairmain of the meeting who was someone from girfc getting it right for every child but his first day of starting this i got a call 30mins into it to come collect him as he was kicking off and they had no idea why.

 

 

 

When i got down I asked my son to explain turns out when he went in his teacher was abscent so substatute somthing the school knows effects his behaviour then he had gym right away another thing he doesnt cope with so was put out of gym ito the corrider were the janitor asked him what he was doing in the corrider he should be at the heads office as thats were he normally gets sent so my son proceded to go to the heads offic (in her words were she was having a very important meeting with heads from the high school)the head became embarassed as my son was in the corrider wripping up bits of paper in full view of her guests when she told him to stop it (shouted in his face )my son calmly told her that her breath stinks she then called me to remove him and try again next day so next day came he was in school 15 mins i get another call to remove him when i arrive he is under the stairs in the corrider rolled up in the fetol position breaking his heart refusing to come out turns out to be another communication problem , he gets this target thing were if he gets 20 stars for being good he gets to do an activity eg computer or football for 15 mins he had 19 stars and asked if he could choose football.

 

 

Teacher replied no but shouted as she thought he ment there and then but he realy ment when he gets his 20 stars as he knew he would get them that day this caused a complet melt down as he thought he wasnt to get his reward as this has happened in the past again mostly due to staffing issues to moniter him during his reward time , again i was told to take him home and try again next day.

 

 

This is were I think things get complicated I called the autism teacher and asked her in her opinion is my son in the right place she replyed no the communications center is best for him I then asked her why wasnt he there then she said has no one told you we havent any spaces available for him thats why hes been put on part time education in mainstream.

 

 

I then called my sons head teacher to disscus the situation this is when she told me in her words she said off the record the education authority are very slow at getting there finger out but if you refuse to send your son to school due to us not meeting his needs they wont be long in putting things in place for him but if you continue down the road were going tings will take a lot longer.

 

 

So I stupidly (didnt know what else to do )told her thats what I would do then so she then phoned the chairman of the sat meeting and told him my intentions.

 

 

 

That same day the headteacher calls me back to tell me a referral has been put in to a place caled youth stratagy for my son and in this place he would get an assesment of his educational needs.

 

 

 

At this point im thinking this sounds good a week passed with my son not in any education and I get a call from yout stratagy to go with my son and husband to view the place and have a talk so the following week we go appointment for 10.30 upon entering reception no one there except a very young lady walking up and down 15 mins pass and this younge lady sits on the reception chair and asks who were here to see she then said i will go get them another 10 mins she comes out with 2 other young ladies and a young man it was then we relised they were all around 13 14 yrs old each of them lit up a cigaret in the reception then started to argue about who owed who money for the cigarets at this point 2 boys around age 9 came running out with 2 ladies behind them the boys started to pull open the drawers in the reception desk and empty the contents over the floor the place was in meltdown at this point.

 

 

We just didnt get good feeling about this place 30mins after our appointment time a socialworker and the head of this unit came out and showed us into a room were we disscussed our son and what youth stratage was we were told it was for kids age 6 to 15 with behaviour problems who come from disadvantage families ie. mother and faher on drugs , abused at home etc at the end of the meeting these 2 people told us they didnt think this place was for our son and we agreed I then called my sons head teacher bk to tell her this and I think she thought out loud and didnt mean to as the first thing she said was well he cant come bk to my school then quickly said I will call you bk.

 

 

 

She did and said she had words with youth stratagy and told them they will take my son as this is the only option I was told the same an given a date to send my son and was told i would be legaly in bother so after another week of saying i wouldnt send him and being told it was the only thing they were going to do for him during this time I was hospatalised with stomach probs due to stress against all we were feeling myself.

 

 

Husband arranged the day before his start date to see the place again we met and discused our fears and were reasured our son would be safe forgot to mention they were sending a taxi to pickup and drop off our son each day with no adult with him somthing else we were worried about as he isnt good in our car tends to unfasten seat belt open door while moving etc we were also told some one would be at the door to meet him as he went in on the morning and my son could call home when ever he wanted and if any probs they would call me to disscus how to deal with the matter so the day came which was last wed taxi came at 8.30 picked my very scared son up i never got any call so asumed everything went well taxi dropped my son off at 4.00 he came in burst in to tears said it was awful and told me of his day which went like this he went in no one to meet him except the older kids 13/14 yr olds which were hanging around they went in and told staff he was waiting he went in to get verbaly abused by the other kids break time came everyone was playing rugby my son didnt want to play so sat at the side eating his apple a few of the other boys came over to him called him a weirdo and other stuff my son told them to f*** off one of the boys picked up a traffic cone and hit my son with it this escalated to my son and this boy fighting.

 

 

 

My son was restrained and taken indoors were in another 3 tmes got restrained somthing my son cant handle we were told from phyciatrist not to restrain him as it makes him worse.

 

 

The type of restraining consisted of putting him in a basket with his head pushed firmly between his legs before this his shoes and socks removed during this my son constantly asked them to call me which they replied no also when we was removed from the room and told to calm down in the corrider a 14 yr old girl who was passing thought it would be fun to call my son names an he nearly got in to a physical fight with her remember my son is a very nieve trusting confused 8 yr old.

 

 

 

So I called the place and told them my son will not be bk again told this is my only option for him to get educational assesment done , my son hasnt been bk since his first day I have since calle head teacher of school she hadnt returned my calls so I contacted head of education who has now arranged another cat meeting at the school for this friday morning.

 

 

 

Head eventually called me again said i dont see what good this meeting will do as the only option is youth startagy before I could say anything she said save your breath and bring your thoughts to the meeting.

 

 

OMG I think I have wrote a book am very sorry this is me not saying the half of it to try keep it short any advice I would be greatful ay questions please ask many thanks again for taking time to read this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wasuup   

Sorry had to break it up a bit as I couldn't read it either:

 

Main points?

 

1) Your son is being assessed for ASD and ADHD

2) You are in Scotland

3) Previous school could not meet your childs needs

4) Autism advisory have said he needs to be in a school that deals with communication

5) You got offered a school place in a behaviour problems school

6) You are having a meeting as your son could not cope in this school

7) You have been told this is the only school place that will be offered

 

You need the Autism advisory to put her opinions of a school place for your son in writing and you need to tell CAMHS that you have a crisis with your son and need their support as a matter of urgency.

 

You need to have a file with all professional letters in saying that your son is being assessed and awaiting CAMHS, you need to minute, time and date all phone calls that you have had with anyone in regard to your son.

 

You need to be able to prove that you are doing all you can for your son and that it is the LEA that have failed him.

 

Have a look on the NAS site or phone them and find out if there are any ASD groups in your area that can give your support and advocate for you.

 

You have been treated appallingly as has your son. I hope others will be able to advise further.

Edited by wasuup

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mcguin   

just back from the meeting , i feel it eventually went well

dont think the head teacher would agree though

as she dragged her heels in at all the positive things suggested for my son

and strongly pushed for youth stratagy or another placement in a mainstream school anywere but her school

the concolusion of the meeting is

a team consisting of outreach autism teacher ,social worker,head of communication unit,educational phycologist and myself

will prepare the school and my son for his gradule transition back in to his main stream school

we will meet over the next 2 weeks to disscuss things to help my son and what to put in place

ie sensory room for him to go within the school ,for him starting back .

the idea is when he starts back in around 2 weeks everything we disscus before hand to help him cope should be in place .

and he will have an outreach teacher or the social worker who works with oureach teacher with him at all times during his school day.

my next meeting is monday morning so things do at the moment seem to be moving fast .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Grace   

Hi,

 

Sounds much better than where you were at!

 

Are you/they still pushing for a move to the Communications Unit?

 

Was that discussed?

 

Is the mainstream just a temporary measure until a place is free or are you hoping with more help he can stay at mainstream?

 

Glad you feel positive - just make sure they stick to what they have promised and e-mail everyone at that meeting daily if they don't!

 

Have you told your son and what was his response?

 

Best Wishes

 

Grace/x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mcguin   

i am hoping with more help he can stay at mainstream

i feel its worth a go if everyone sticks to the plan

once he starts back he will be being assesed over a number of weeks for his educational needs

depending on how things go it may turn out mainstream just isnt the place for him .

my son is with his gran as she looked after him today so i could go the meeting

before the meeting he called me to wish us good luck and he had a cry think he is very anxious about whats happening

he is on his way home and i feel for the first time in a long time i can tell him somthing positive .

i keep trying to stop myself from being to happy because normally things just dont work out the way they should

i do feel like celebrating but i know we still have a very long road ahead of us

today was just a small step forward .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wasuup   

i am hoping with more help he can stay at mainstream

i feel its worth a go if everyone sticks to the plan

once he starts back he will be being assesed over a number of weeks for his educational needs

depending on how things go it may turn out mainstream just isnt the place for him .

my son is with his gran as she looked after him today so i could go the meeting

before the meeting he called me to wish us good luck and he had a cry think he is very anxious about whats happening

he is on his way home and i feel for the first time in a long time i can tell him somthing positive .

i keep trying to stop myself from being to happy because normally things just dont work out the way they should

i do feel like celebrating but i know we still have a very long road ahead of us

today was just a small step forward .

 

 

It sounds much more positive now. Good Luck to you all and keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sally44   

Definately speak with the National Autistic Society before you finally agree to anything.

 

Whatever is agreed at meetings, ask them to put that in writing to you.

And ensure that everything is documented from now on. That is your only evidence of what is suggested or promised. Don't take anyone's word.

 

Ask that each professional that sees and observes/assesses your son produces a 'written report', that you will receive a copy of.

 

And it is worth asking the LEA what the placement options are.

 

The NAS will be able to give you specific advice regarding Scottish Educational Law. But I am assuming it will similar to English law, in that the placement has to be 'suitable' for the child and has to be a 'suitable' peer group.

 

So if your child is working at around average levels, he needs to go into a school where the other pupils are also at that level. If he needs specific approaches, teaching and therapies relating to his diagnosis, then that is the kind of school he needs.

 

There are ASD specific independent schools where all the children are on the spectrum or have speech/language difficulties, but whom are capable and working towards GCSEs.

 

So if a placement is suggested at a 'learning difficulty' school that is not appropriate. Neither is a emotional or behavioural unit.

 

I'm glad that you feel that something is happening which is more positive now. But you need to get advice about what your rights are and what your son's educational rights are. Remember that the LEA is usually working towards the cheapest option, which is not necessarily going to meet all his needs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×