Jump to content
Glasgow-Laura

Hey i'm new & looking for advice x

Recommended Posts

Hey i'm Laura i'm currently 21 and i live my partner who's 28 and suffers from Aspergers syndrome. he's never been properly diagnosed before i met him. but currently is awaiting to see about doing so next month. anyways i'm basically here for help and advice on how to deal with living with a person who suffers from this illness as probably all of who read this will understand its not the easiest thing in the world by a long mile. i'm currently pregnant with my partners baby which is due next april.x

 

if anyone out there can help me and give advice on living with this i'd be ever so grateful. as sometimes i feel like i'm totally alone :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi welcome to the forum :)

 

There's probably others out there who are better placed to reply and I'm far too tired to type anything coherent right now, I just wanted to correct your terminology - AS is not an illness, it is a pervasive developmental disorder. Illness implies cure, which isn't possible with AS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well i'm 24 years old and a male so i can tell you what he might be going through. First of all i can't always get accross to people how i feel and sometimes people really have to dig to get it out me. I was only diagnosed with a mild form but mixed in with my depression i had it can be a lonely scary world. Thankfully i'm improving and better but if you love him you have to stick with him. Find out what he enjoys, what i enjoy is music and i'm a rising songwriter, this for me is my salvation and my release, i sometimes think if i'd still be here if it wasn't for my music. I also know an insane amount of people with aspergers who are either succesful artists/musicians and involved with the arts in general.

 

For me people with aspergers are some of the most loyal you'll ever meet too, sometimes i lose track of what's important but with the right help people like us can get our lives on the right tracks just like anyone else.

 

Like mumble stated this isn't an illness, it's a difference. You also need to look for his positives as it isn't all negative like some people perceive. I would never change from the person i am, if people don't accept me for me it doesnt bother me anymore, people with aspergers are loyal to the max

 

Anxiety and panic attacks are another issue but learning to relax is absolutely paramount

I personally practice tai chi everyday now and run every other day 2.5 miles which helps my mental state, maybe if he isn't allready doing something like that he could start releasing some tension by doing so? I really didn't know what to put here if i'm being honest but i replied as i'm near enough the same age as him so maybe it'll help him.

Edited by Goldenben

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey i'm Laura i'm currently 21 and i live my partner who's 28 and suffers from Aspergers syndrome. he's never been properly diagnosed before i met him. but currently is awaiting to see about doing so next month. anyways i'm basically here for help and advice on how to deal with living with a person who suffers from this illness as probably all of who read this will understand its not the easiest thing in the world by a long mile. i'm currently pregnant with my partners baby which is due next april.x

 

if anyone out there can help me and give advice on living with this i'd be ever so grateful. as sometimes i feel like i'm totally alone :(

 

Hi Laura, sorry i`m a bit behind with the forum- been off with the flu ! Goldenben has given you great advise ! How are things ? I agree with the other replies- it may seem like an illness but it is difference ! and hey, its good to be different.

 

There are books advising people in relationships with aspergers men, if you go to amazon books take a look and see which one you might find useful- if you get stuck let me know. If you can try to see what makes the day good for your partner and what makes a bad day- its not that different from all of us really- we like to avoid the things that make a negative day ! There are lots of things to do with communication that aspergers struggle with- I am a female with asperegers and although i am 49, i still need people to be clear about what they are saying- say what you mean, and mean what you say. there`s no point in people saying one thing and expecting us to react in a certain way- if you really meant something else! Yes, it can be complicated but if you can get some books they should help. Tony Attwood has written very good books on aspergers syndrome- and he tries to cover most things.

 

believe me, you are not alone ! If you can get good talking time and space with your partner that is a good help, its when we really don`t understand whats going on or whats expected of us that problems come up ! I am married for the second time- for 7 years now- and my husband still gets things wrong ! Just by not talking to me, or not listening, or not taking time to explain things.

 

There are lots of other stuff that affects aspergers syndrome (AS)- sensory difficulties- Tony attwood touches on these also. Just start at the beginning, read up some stuff and go from there, try to understand your partner and what I`ve outlined above. With a baby on the way you have alot to look forward to, becoming a parent was the best thing in the world for me.

I hope this helps but if there are specific things you want to talk through just email back,

 

regards, allyd

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

>:D<<'> >:D< Hiya Laura. We are new to the Forum aswell and we live in Glasgow!! :thumbs: Anytime you need a chat or support then don't hesitate to contact us ok. AS is another 'normal way of life' is us NT that have the problems :wacko:

See our article on 'relationships' it will help :D

pola and dobie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...