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Fried_frog

Aspergers(?) and Relationships

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Hello all forum-goers.

I've been with my partner for 7 months now, and due to both being students in terrible financial circumstances, we have been living together for four of those months.

The stress has been getting to me, and i have realised that i suppress a lot of behaviours that i would normally do when stressed and alone (sensory stimulation). However, this can't go on and i NEED to do these things otherwise i feel like i am going to explode. I twitch very violently and 'tic' verbally as normal (which i didn't realise i did until i came to university and it was mentioned by everyone upon first meeting them....i guess that my friends at school knew me for so long they just didn't mention it) but i am worried. I don't want my partner to be scared of these behaviours that i have been covering up, which will inevitably start showing seeing as we spend 99% of our time together. When i say covering up, i mean leaving the room to do them or leaving the flat altogether. How can i go about it without driving someone away?

 

I need to spend a lot of time by myself and can't. If i can't spend time alone, i am extremely stressed.

 

I don't know what to do, and any advice would be appreciated.

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Hi Fried_frog

 

Poor you - you've done amazingly well, but I think you're right you can't go on like this. Everybody suppresses behaviours when they are in a new relationship (eg farting!), but there does come a time when you can't keep doing that.

 

Perhaps you could find some literature from the NAS website that will introduce your partner to these matters. They may be shocked at first of course, but at the end of the day if they can't accept you for who you are they are not right for you anyway. However, you may find they are not as surprised as you think they will be. Also, doing those things will make you more relaxed and happy so your partner should see the benefits.

 

Good luck >:D<<'>

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i 100% agree you cant go on like this i did and i made me ill.

 

does he know you have aspergers?

 

i can understand you wanting to suppress them at uni i did in my undergrad at sussex and still do to a degree in on my postgrad course. you home though should be your place where you can relax and be yourself as much as possible.

 

could it be easier to write it down and read it to him?

 

i agree there maybe shock at first and some time of getting used to but as was said above if they can not accept you for who you are then they are not the right person for you longterm as it is only your health long term it will affect most.

 

 

always will to chat

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