..... a big picture ... with lots of parts .......

[adie]

I have been hesitating about venturing here for a while because I have not known where to start or how much would be appropriate to go into. Things seem very complex and interdependant and hard to discuss in isolation. I have a lot of thoughts that I'd like to discuss and I would very much appreciating having dialogues with others ...... with the aim of solving problems and finding practical workable strategies.

 

I'm not hopeless or feeling like a victim but I do feel isolated. I'm fairly annoyed by this Aspergers thing; I'd like to get hold of it and get in control of it.

 

Perhaps that's enough for now ..... (I do like to have a laugh ...)

[call me jaded]

The approach we have taken as a family is to deal with one issue at a time. We choose things that are a priority and we think we can do something about. So we wouldn't have a target of dealing with all sensory issues, but we would plan about going swimming (which my son enjoys) and try to extend it from 20 minutes to 40 minutes. One of the things we changed to achieve this was to go earlier when it is less busy. Another was to get a Radar key for the disabled changing rooms.

[adie]

Thanks, jaded! One piece at a time ..... that does make sense. How important is it to have an outside viewpoint to put things in context? I'm feeling extremely isolated - no family, no friends near, no anticipation of pleasure .... so very flat, and the Samaritans, kindly, only listen for an hour .......

 

I like Peanuts too ...

Edited January 5, 2011 by adie

[call me jaded]

An outside view can be helpful, but really you are living it so what you want to make a priority is important. Self-directing is fine. The only thing to be aware of is to step back and review progress. You can become wrapped up in things. I did as a parent.

 

What are you thinking of doing or going?

[adie]

When I finally saw a psychiatrist and it was agreed there was Aspergers going on in some way, I said "It'a always been such a struggle", and he said, "A lot of people say just that". I'm fed up with struggling ..... going against the form of my psycholgy, if it can be put like that - fighting battles on disadvantageous ground. To carry the metaphor on .... I want to fight clever and work with positive aspects; because it seems there are some. I notice I am more dispassionate than a lot of people; I don't get angry when others do .... I laugh at almost everything ..... and I seem to have the 'gentleness' that is mentioned in connection with AS .... very fortunately.

 

What this new view of myself has caused is a release from the background assumption that I'm a dolt and a gormless fool , a social inadequate who can't avoid excruciating faux-pas. Suddenly there is a Damascus Road revelation and a kind of loose blossoming of self-esteem and a heady almost delerium. I'm not an idiot after all! So there is a partial increase in self-confidence. Good! the trouble is it is balanced by the knowledge that AS is 'incurable' and my problem in not realising that what seems a good, clever, interesting thing to say or do is very likely very inappropriate and will lead to massive embarrassment all round - is intractable ...... and that looks like a wall to me. I have shrunk from that social discomfort, and, simultaneously, find I'm mostly ok with my own company ..... yet I'm not. I know I'm missing the best things in life, chiefly love, and that thought is never too far away.

 

I don't really have much idea of potential pleasure as a motive for doing anything mostly because past efforts have led to difficult failure so it is a strange situation. I think the need is to find social 'success' of some kind aa a foothold on Enjoyment ..... perhaps identify what I do enjoy and expand upon that but being careful to keep to sure ground, maybe until I can somehow learn more about appropriateness as a social skill.

 

I'm typing away here because I want to contact other human beings. Possibly this is all inappropriate - I'm not an expert! Still it would be interesting to know if it means anything to others. Jaded I do hope all is well with you and yours ..... you asked where I might be going. I understand the question - don't have a good reply except .... right now, to the pictures to see The Way Back .... might get some inspiration!