Hughey Report post Posted January 30, 2011 Sometimes I feel like I can drill a small hole in my head, insert a hypodermic needle and just draw out whatever makes me like this and makes social situations as difficult as they are. It isn't social anxiety, I'm not scared of social situations, I just find them complex and difficult and in all honesty, its just pissing me off now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 30, 2011 Some days are harder than others. Life would certainly be easier if I didn't have AS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sesley Report post Posted January 30, 2011 Life is not easy for most of us,your challenges make life harder and more stressful,but you are what you are and thats special and unique. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terry Report post Posted January 30, 2011 I hate it when I do something wrong, which happens a lot sometimes then get accused of doing it delibrately. That's what I hate more than anything with my AS. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted February 1, 2011 everyone trying 'drum' into to me is positive side to living with A.S but all i have personal experience with negative side people make i have CHOICE to make myself happy sometimes A.S drags you down your mood MH before you try pick yourself up so hard such difficult to keep 'fake smile' on your face you feel so mentally tired all time/drained and blame yourself have low self esteem feel paranoid anxious so many things 'people' never grasp fully or understand even when try to explain into words as even in your own head and world feel lost confused and everything a mess a 'muddle' but positive i want give back understanding awareness to 'save' kids these days from pain heartache of negative experiences!!! i working with Autistic little boy at nursery he HF though and probably be A.S when he older too!!! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pola y dobie Report post Posted February 2, 2011 Having read the comments I never realised that people with AS felt like this . I know my partner Dobie has had difficulties socially interacting throughout his life, and has faced many challenges.And still does!! But he always stated that although he has AS, it is DOBIE that comes first and not the AS. We discuss and support each other alot in our relationship, and try and overcome the barriers that AS continues to put in our way. Usually it is me as an NT that gives Dobie the problems!! Try as I might, i try to see how life affects him and how he views the world and understands it! But in truth I cant, I only get a glimpse if that. But we have the love and support for each other to make it work. I try and tell Dobie what its like being an NT. Being the main support for our family, working endless hours on nightshift, to pay for bills etc, and staying awake long enough when I get home to feed the dogs and spend time with our little family. Being an NT isn't all its cracked up to be either!! Knowing how to socially interact, knowing how people think, act and behave towards each other, can even for an NT be overbearing. I believe we put on a variety of masks in our lives, just to get through situations. Life is NOT easy, but it CAN be enjoyable. Looking to the future, I hope I can make Dobie learn the essential skills it takes to run a home, to manage bills, to know how to keep in good company and know when others are not being nice to you. I know Dobie will need assisted support to help him, after I am gone to the great BEAR grounds in the sky. Having that knowledge as an NT does not make me a happy Bear. Knowing that life could turn out either way for Dobie. But I perserviar and continue to teach my partner the skills and social rights and wrongs he will desperately need to continue in his life. Thank you for reading my posting. POLA xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 2, 2011 Having read the comments I never realised that people with AS felt like this . I know my partner Dobie has had difficulties socially interacting throughout his life, and has faced many challenges.And still does!! But he always stated that although he has AS, it is DOBIE that comes first and not the AS. We discuss and support each other alot in our relationship, and try and overcome the barriers that AS continues to put in our way. Usually it is me as an NT that gives Dobie the problems!! Try as I might, i try to see how life affects him and how he views the world and understands it! But in truth I cant, I only get a glimpse if that. But we have the love and support for each other to make it work. I try and tell Dobie what its like being an NT. Being the main support for our family, working endless hours on nightshift, to pay for bills etc, and staying awake long enough when I get home to feed the dogs and spend time with our little family. Being an NT isn't all its cracked up to be either!! Knowing how to socially interact, knowing how people think, act and behave towards each other, can even for an NT be overbearing. I believe we put on a variety of masks in our lives, just to get through situations. Life is NOT easy, but it CAN be enjoyable. Looking to the future, I hope I can make Dobie learn the essential skills it takes to run a home, to manage bills, to know how to keep in good company and know when others are not being nice to you. I know Dobie will need assisted support to help him, after I am gone to the great BEAR grounds in the sky. Having that knowledge as an NT does not make me a happy Bear. Knowing that life could turn out either way for Dobie. But I perserviar and continue to teach my partner the skills and social rights and wrongs he will desperately need to continue in his life. Thank you for reading my posting. POLA xx Pola, what a great post! <'> My husband says exactly the same as you do about being 'NT'. Personally, I don't hate having AS. I have had mental health problems during my life, and of course there are things I find a struggle, but no, I don't hate AS. I think maybe having other people to look after and worry about puts things into perspective for me. At the weekend my youngest daughter went into anaphylaxis, which is a life-threatening condition. So, to be honest, I would rather she had AS than severe multiple food allergies which could potentially kill her if she doesn't get the correct medical intervention. But that's just my life, and everyone has a different situation. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted February 2, 2011 Some people seem to think that if you are NT you have no problems. Life is hard for everyone for different reasons. An NT person can have a million different problems and things that make them unhappy, same as an AS person, it's just not the case that because you are NT life is perfect for you. Having said that, my 17 year old would say he hates having AS, that he wishes he was 'normal', purely because he hasn't any friends and can't make them. Of course, many, many NT people can't make friends either and are also lonely for many different reasons, it's not a monopoly. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pola y dobie Report post Posted February 3, 2011 <'> >< Thank you for your lovely replies. I never expect to get them, but it's good to hear that there ARE friends out there reading what I write or rant about. So many genuine thanks. I get quite annoyed what is forever being written about AS, (followers of my previous postings, will know that I am happily ploughing through a stack of books, research etc on AS) and trying to figure out for myself what's it all about. There just seems to be so much negativity on the subject. I have worked in psychiatry for over 20 years ( yes I am getting an older bear!!), and I have never read so much negativity on one condition/way of life. I am STILL waiting for the book entitled 'You know what, having AS isn't really that bad, OK, you'll have some problems, BUT life's like that, So don't worry!!' ( my librarian is still searching for that book for me.) Too be honest, life IS difficult, it aint easy for anyone, no matter what you have. What's important is that you have someone there for you, just to give you a little push, offer a smile, give you a hug (dobies favourite), and even offer to make the occasional cup of tea!! With little things in life, much greater things CAN and often ARE achieved. Dobie has dramatically improved ( since moving out from a mental support unit) in his skills, since being offered the chance to live in a 'normal' environment, which allows him to make mistakes, from which he can learn from. There is not one day when I don't love him, we take each other's limitations and work upon them, encouraging and supporting each other. That's what life should be like. They say not one person is the same, and I agree, it would be boring, BUT they do say that everyone IS equal. Whether you have AS or NT, we are ALL in this life and world TOGETHER, its just a case of trying to understand each other a bit better. If it means on my part reading more, thinking before I open my mouth, asking how my partner feels, re-explaining what I meant, continuing to show Dobie how to change the duvet sheet, then so be it, I will do this. There may be one person with AS in our home, BUT there are two people who will endure anything and everything to support and love each other. Always Support Never Trouble which equals ASNT. thank you again for reading my genuine postings. Bear hugs to you all POLA XXX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) Pola, that is a wonderful, wonderful post...thank you! <'> <'> Bid Edited February 3, 2011 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hughey Report post Posted February 6, 2011 (edited) Being unique doesn't mean its good though. If a guy is missing a few fingers then he is unique, know what I mean? Relationships are the worst. I don't generally have a hard time with women because I'm really into fitness and MMA and Muay Thai boxing and women kinda dig the "quiet strong silent type" some don't but some do and it kinda works with them and I don't want to sound vain but I'm a fairly good looking guy and they usually talk to me first, if they didn't I would probably still be a virgin lol. I don't ever want to admit to a woman that I have aspergers syndrome because just like most women I have met they just bolt as soon as they hear it. This is early on in the relationship because its a big part of who I am (URGH!! I HATE IT!!) and they should probably know this massive fact about me, if we are together for a year then drop the bomb on her about how my brain is basically broken or wasn't made properly, then she is kinda stuck with me and being together that long is like lying to her and not telling her at all. Most of the women who like me aren't my thing, they are all kinda soft and sweat-hearted and kind, when what I like are kinda the opposite, I have a b**ch fetish where she is confrontational and goal driven and those women want a real man and I cant be when I have aspergers. Edited February 6, 2011 by Hughey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pola y dobie Report post Posted February 10, 2011 <'> Thanks for the reply. Firstly in reply, I am NOT good looking, nor am into fitness, infact generally plain -jane, pardon the pun!! But I do think think its important to be honest in relationships. If the person you meet truly wants to be with you, then they will accept AS. Dobie was honest with me when we met. Ok, I had limitations into what AS was, but that certainly didn't stop me loving and falling in love with him. The same can be said of any relationship, you have to be honest. I have read through the internet into AS groups especially groups of NT partners ( heterosexual groups), that NT women seem disappointed with their AS partner!! My believe is they havent read into what AS is, therefore relationship problems begin. But there ARE alot of NT women who have written negative views on their AS partners. I can't really comment on why this relationship failures etc, myself being gay!! If you say they 'bolt' as soon as you say AS, then in my opinion they are not worth the relationship. And what pray tell me is a ' REAL MAN' !!!! I have a real man at home waiting for me, he cares for our dogs, makes me a cup of tea when I finish nightshift, cuddles and tells me he loves me. My real man has AS, and I wouldn't swap him for any other. Thanks for reading my posting POLA Relationships are the worst. I don't generally have a hard time with women because I'm really into fitness and MMA and Muay Thai boxing and women kinda dig the "quiet strong silent type" some don't but some do and it kinda works with them and I don't want to sound vain but I'm a fairly good looking guy and they usually talk to me first, if they didn't I would probably still be a virgin lol. I don't ever want to admit to a woman that I have aspergers syndrome because just like most women I have met they just bolt as soon as they hear it. This is early on in the relationship because its a big part of who I am (URGH!! I HATE IT!!) and they should probably know this massive fact about me, if we are together for a year then drop the bomb on her about how my brain is basically broken or wasn't made properly, then she is kinda stuck with me and being together that long is like lying to her and not telling her at all. Most of the women who like me aren't my thing, they are all kinda soft and sweat-hearted and kind, when what I like are kinda the opposite, I have a b**ch fetish where she is confrontational and goal driven and those women want a real man and I cant be when I have aspergers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 10, 2011 Most of the women who like me aren't my thing, they are all kinda soft and sweat-hearted and kind, when what I like are kinda the opposite, I have a b**ch fetish where she is confrontational and goal driven and those women want a real man and I cant be when I have aspergers. Um, maybe this is why you have problems with relationships, rather than AS?? I mean, confrontational, goal-driven 'b**tches' aren't exactly going to be good relationship material, are they!! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyFulkirk Report post Posted February 10, 2011 Being unique doesn't mean its good though. If a guy is missing a few fingers then he is unique, know what I mean? Relationships are the worst. I don't generally have a hard time with women because I'm really into fitness and MMA and Muay Thai boxing and women kinda dig the "quiet strong silent type" some don't but some do and it kinda works with them and I don't want to sound vain but I'm a fairly good looking guy and they usually talk to me first, if they didn't I would probably still be a virgin lol. I don't ever want to admit to a woman that I have aspergers syndrome because just like most women I have met they just bolt as soon as they hear it. This is early on in the relationship because its a big part of who I am (URGH!! I HATE IT!!) and they should probably know this massive fact about me, if we are together for a year then drop the bomb on her about how my brain is basically broken or wasn't made properly, then she is kinda stuck with me and being together that long is like lying to her and not telling her at all. Most of the women who like me aren't my thing, they are all kinda soft and sweat-hearted and kind, when what I like are kinda the opposite, I have a b**ch fetish where she is confrontational and goal driven and those women want a real man and I cant be when I have aspergers. Um, maybe this is why you have problems with relationships, rather than AS?? I mean, confrontational, goal-driven 'b**tches' aren't exactly going to be good relationship material, are they!! Bid Hughey women like that who deliberately recognise and celebrate that aspect of themselves are often known in ‘alternative’ communities as Dommes, there are forums and dating sites devoted to helping people who are like that find their partner, I can tell you some more but this is more about being in a sexual minority than it is about being on the autistic spectrum, if you like I can send you a message or something with some more information? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stylishmissy Report post Posted February 12, 2011 Yes! Although there's positive traits with AS, it certainly is hard. Having AS has been extremely difficult for me, especially when it comes to understanding, social situations, relationships etc. I understand how everyone else feels with this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anewman Report post Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) I only hate it because I went to University and achieved a first class degree and a masters, which should enable me to get a job paying over £20k a year, and I have the ability to do. Instead I am 30 years old and have never had any kind of job and cannot get any kind of job because I do so poorly in interviews. Not even ###### jobs like ones in supermarkets or cleaning toilets. Employers always get the wrong impression of me and worse having had no job is further reason for employers to not give me a job. In fact if I were to commit suicide for any reason, this and the resulting financial issues would be it. If I had a job my primary concerns would probably be more like those above regarding making friends and so on. Edited February 12, 2011 by anewman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 12, 2011 Not even ###### jobs like ones in supermarkets or cleaning toilets. Supermarket jobs are not ######!! And neither is cleaning! I'm finding this repeated sneering on the forum at certain jobs really, really offensive. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pola y dobie Report post Posted February 13, 2011 Well I have two degrees ( Cambridge University) 1 degree Alicante University. And believe me I would definitely go and work in Asda. We have friends there and they get better benefits than me working alot of hours per week. I've done a alot of jobs in my life, and the best ones have been with what we call 'the workers', how I miss huddled up with mugs of tea and having a quick ciggy with 'the gals'!! Life was easier and happier then ....( Pola goes off to happily reminisce).... Seriously, employers should recognise the potential of everyone who applies for work, unfortunately they dont, even with Discrimination Laws etc in place. Dobie has been unable to get any employment within the last 9 months, and thats with me putting out CV's etc for any job. AS and NT all live in a world which is constantly changing both economically and financially, the days of anyone getting a secure job, whether you have degrees or gcses or even CSE's and 16 plus ( I'm showing my age)is now becoming limited. Be grateful you have a job, and be grateful you get any government benefit ( I pay over 1,000 in tax per month and Dobie my partner can't any unemployment benefit)GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Makes my fur stand on end!! Thanks for reading my posting xx POLA Supermarket jobs are not ######!! And neither is cleaning! I'm finding this repeated sneering on the forum at certain jobs really, really offensive. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Yes, maybe the people who sneer at supermarket and cleaning jobs should pause and think... Those people, who perhaps you also look down on for doing these jobs you despise, are actually in paid employment, paying their way, living independent lives. So who is better off?? Bid Edited February 13, 2011 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 Yes, maybe the people who sneer at supermarket and cleaning jobs should pause and think... Those people, who perhaps you also look down on for doing these jobs you despise, are actually in paid employment, paying their way, living independent lives. So who is better off?? Bid As I said before I so agree with this.I felt much better getting paid minimum wage than sitting around doing nothing being on benefits. I am studying now,but if I was to stop I would go straight back to working for minimum wage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 13, 2011 There have been a few derogatory comments on this and other threads recently about particular jobs. I'm sure nobody intends to be personally offensive but please remember that there are people on the forum who work in supermarkets, clean toilets, etc. or have friends and family who do, and who find these comments hurtful. Please desist! Thanks Kathryn on behalf of mod team. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lee2010 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 Living with AS makes life very harder i think like anyone else life can easier or harder depending on your personal circumstances. From my own point of view although not diagnosed as yet i have found it very negative as society is built for NT people and in my opinion this makes life much harder although more harder for people who have AS to live a happy and forfilled life as i believe everyone should. The negativity involved with AS and mental health problems especially nowadays which comes from the very top of society, opinions as such as it isnt a physical disability so why should we be treated diffrerently to name but many discriminative remarks. My father and sister both have Aspergers and in my fathers own words it has destroyed his life as it has mine i believe that it is evolution but a disability in the society we live in something that i doubt will ever change certainly not in the forseable future. Life is hard for everyone for people with AS it is a life long batlle if you make that far. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dm2010 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Short answer - yes and no ! I was not diagnosed until age 26. But it had already played havoc with school, university and my early career. At that stage I would have definitely said yes. I wasn't a successful or happy schoolboy, student or graduate in social terms, but I did deliver on the academics as I knew I had to. But as time has gone on I'm leaning towards the view that in my profession - engineering - it's actually a distinct advantage. Unfortunately people always judge me socially at first, and perhaps I have lost out in career advancement, at least superfically. I have chuckled when people have crashed and burned after a premature promotion - as they always do in the end. These days I get allocated the most difficult and critical work because people know I will deliver on it. And job wise there may be a big jump up the tree soon - watch this space. I came to the latter conclusion 2 years ago thundering down a German Autobahn at night in my 2 tonne 4x4 at over 100 mph. God knows how much diesel I was using but I didn't care. I thought hey - things actually haven't gone badly in the last 10 years. Edited February 13, 2011 by dm2010 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WillR73 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 Couple of years ago I was asked my opinion on the whole 'cure for autism' thing. That's when I started thinking about how I felt on this whole issue. This is the result of my long deliberations. I love my brain and the way it works - it's actually pretty cool What I don't love is what happens when it interacts with the people around me. So I drew the inevitable conclusion. Being an Asperger is a great thing. Sharing a planet with the human race is not Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dm2010 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) So the consensus is for us Aspies Earth is a great planet, it's just full of other people. Perhaps we should try elsewhere. I've heard Gliese 581e is rather promising ? Edited February 13, 2011 by dm2010 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WillR73 Report post Posted February 13, 2011 So the consensus is for us Aspies Earth is a great planet, it's just full of other people. Perhaps we should try elsewhere. I've heard Gliese 581e is rather promising ? Not sure about that. Can we really build a ship that can deliver all 6bn of them safely? Don't want to send the human race into certain destruction - I'm a humanitarian Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anewman Report post Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Supermarket jobs are not ######!! And neither is cleaning! I'm finding this repeated sneering on the forum at certain jobs really, really offensive. I did not intend to offend in any way. But I suppose it depends on your perspective. From my perspective, these jobs are ##### because... a] They pay minimum wage, yet expect the world of you (minimum wage minimum effort and all that). b] They are repetitive, boring, easy, and fairly predictable (which I suppose is good for some Aspies). c] They offer no mental challenge whatsoever. d] I can't even get one of them, and I *WOULD* want one of them because it is better than nothing. Not working in one of those jobs and employers not wanting to give me one of them entitles me to say they're #####. I do not claim any benefits because I can't as my partner works. Personally I find it offensive the world feels it of great importance that I not be offered a job of any kind, but there's not a great deal I can do about that. I would be enthralled to work for minimum wage doing what I see as a ##### job, it would be my first ever job. I am studying now,but if I was to stop I would go straight back to working for minimum wage. It's good you feel able to actually *GET* such a job. I would too but sadly I can not due to my difficulties (Aspergers). Not sure about that. Can we really build a ship that can deliver all 6bn of them safely? Don't want to send the human race into certain destruction - I'm a humanitarian We'll have to see if we can implement some of Michiou Kaku's ideas from his book Parallel worlds. That way we could create Aspie Planet. Edited February 14, 2011 by anewman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) I did not intend to offend in any way. But I suppose it depends on your perspective. From my perspective, these jobs are ##### because... a] They pay minimum wage, yet expect the world of you (minimum wage minimum effort and all that). b] They are repetitive, boring, easy, and fairly predictable (which I suppose is good for some Aspies). c] They offer no mental challenge whatsoever. d] I can't even get one of them, and I *WOULD* want one of them because it is better than nothing. Not working in one of those jobs and employers not wanting to give me one of them entitles me to say they're #####. Sorry, but I think that shows you have a very ill-informed, narrow perspective! So you could deal with the public, deal with shop-lifters, deal with the police...and that's just for starters. My son has AS, ADHD, Dyspraxia (and went to a residential special school to put his difficulties in context) and he does all that in his supermarket '######' job...and he's a store supervisor, so he runs the night shift too, which involves running the store and a team of staff. Oh, and at only 21 he moved out and lives independently on his own in another city. Perhaps it's your attitude rather than AS?? Bid Edited February 14, 2011 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 14, 2011 Not working in one of those jobs and employers not wanting to give me one of them entitles me to say they're #####. I didn't realise they were the criteria for '######' jobs. In that case, astronauting, fighter piloting, normal piloting, policing, submarining and mountain cleaning (yes it does exist!) are all ###### jobs because I'm not doing them and employers won't employ me to do them on health grounds. Yes I'm being flippant, but that really is a ridiculous criteria to apply. Have you considered that it may be your attitude that's at fault and absolutely nothing to do with AS? If I were an employer, I certainly wouldn't be rushing to employ someone who showed or appeared to have your attitude towards the prospective job. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Sorry, but I think that shows you have a very ill-informed, narrow perspective! So you could deal with the public, deal with shop-lifters, deal with the police...and that's just for starters. My son has AS, ADHD, Dyspraxia (and went to a residential special school to put his difficulties in context) and he does all that in his supermarket '######' job...and he's a store supervisor, so he runs the night shift too, which involves running the store and a team of staff. Oh, and at only 21 he moved out and lives independently on his own in another city. Perhaps it's your attitude rather than AS?? Bid Again I agree with Bid. You may have AS but I have four kids and no support so if I was to work for minimum pay I would be absolutley no better off,in fact quite the opposite.Yet I would,and have done it,to prove to myself and my kids that it is better to be working. Also as I mentioned before,both my brother have difficulties,one has bi polar and the other has had three strokes(he is only 32) yet neither of them have ever been off work for longer than a year.My brother with bi polar was sectioned for a year and my brother who has had three strokes had to have two brain operations plus rehabilitation.So nothing has been a walk in the park for any of us. Edited February 14, 2011 by justine1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
satellite Report post Posted February 14, 2011 My life would be awesome without this (for want of a better word) curse, i hate the isolated feeling that i have Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowsButterflies Report post Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) How could I possibly know what my life would be like without AS? It's not an appendage tagged on to me, it's part of who I am. I suspect that I would lose a lot of good with the bad and be a totally different person... [Edit for typo] Edited February 14, 2011 by RainbowsButterflies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 14, 2011 How could I possibly know what my life would be like without AS? It's not an appendage tagged on to me, it's part of who I am. I suspect that I would lose a lot of good with the bad and be a totally different person... Absolutely. Whether you think of AS/ASD as who you are or as something you have, in being a life-long disability you have no conception of what life would be like without it, so cannot say life would be better/worse if you didn't have AS/ASD. Although there are diagnostic criteria for ASD and I suppose you could say 'what would life be like if I had none of those issues' the problem with thinking like that is that you'd be an entirely different person probably with a whole different set of issues, different personality etc. Yes, I could say I'd like to find it easier to make friends, but how do I know if all the consequences that came with that would be better than my ASD life? Plus, if I didn't have ASD, I wouldn't be able to come here and irritate people! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lee2010 Report post Posted February 14, 2011 Some people have done incredibly well to do what they do with their lives considering they have a life long disability however for some it hasnt been as postive as others it has much to do with personality and your own personal background. Everyone has their own opinions because of their experiences of living life and living with AS/ASD and evryone opinions should be respected. Just because certain people can do certain things doesnt mean another can i guess we all have different levels it effects us and in different ways. From my own personal experiences have contributed a lot to my anxiety and confidence to point where i find life hard just to function having a mood disorder sometimes i love life and other times i wish id never been born !!, i know im different to most people and have spent many years searching for the reasons as to why i find normal life so hard to cope with why i can be reasonably intelligent and still not be able to do the simple things in life. I will not say much more as i am in a very negative frame of mind in truth struggling at the moment but evryone should respect everyones opinion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 14, 2011 i find life hard just to function having a mood disorder But that's exactly my point - your mood disorder is another part of you, so saying 'get rid of the AS' may not change things or may change things in unexpected ways. There's so much more to all of us that to take away/mend/cure one part isn't going to magically make out lives 'better' (whatever better means). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lee2010 Report post Posted February 14, 2011 I believe that the mood disorder is because the AS although only self diagnosed as yet lol, i agree it is part of me because of my experience of life i dont believe i was born with a mood disorder but i do believe i was born AS. Exactly we all are all different regardless or because of our disabilities ive no doubt we all find life difficult to divering degrees. The question that i always find people asking is what is normal, normal doesnt exsist does it because we are all different. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shrinking Violet Report post Posted February 18, 2011 YES!!! If I could wake up NT tomorrow, oh joy, oh JOY, OH JOY!!! Would make being physically ill so much easier too. I have NO friends (not in this s**thole of a town, because it's full of old dears - average age is late 60s) and because of the AS I keep screwing up online friendships, too. There is one woman I can talk to in town; her name's Anne and she runs a bespoke chocolate/ice-cream shop and cafe. She 'gets' me (always has done - she even let me sit her kids when they were little - it was the only babysitting job I ever had). Feels odd that her strapping, scrum-half of a son is now 19 (and if I was 15 years younger, I'd snog him in a heartbeat! He's GORGEOUS!!) She can't offer me support, though - she's FAR too busy! This month she has done a wedding fair, the Country Living magazine fair, and has something else, Easter-related, coming up at the beginning of next month. But when I'm able to go into town - I go in there for PROPER hot choccie and advice. I love her to bits; but she's known me ever since she moved to GX when the kids were small (excellent preps round here, y'see...) If I'm feeling REALLY chipper, then I go to the Camp (so-called because it was an old Roman fortification - it's even been Time Teamed!) because it's a favourite doggy-walking area; my parents abhor dogs, so it's the only way I can get the stress-relief I find they provide me (there's one lady I meet up there, as well as in town, who has the sweetest-natured King Charles I've ever met - Benson (or Bennie) he's called. Suggested to her he ought to be a PAT dog, hope she took my advice - the people in the Chiltern Cheshire Home would appreciate him, I'm sure. I was always wary of KCCSs before I met him; this Colombian girl at school had a b**ch who was, well a complete b**ch! She'd bite anyone who wasn't Camila or her mother). So I've decided when I get my own place, I'm getting a rescue greyhound. There was a sleigh pulled by half-a-dozen of them in Liverpool One the last time I was up there as part of an awareness campaign by the NW & Cheshire Greyhound Rescue. There were toddlers pulling their ears, tails and what fur they could get hold of and they just got licked, the dogs didn't seem to care at all... They were all owned, and one lady said her 15-month-old grandson used to play 'horsey' on hers - he didn't care, just used to flop when he'd had enough! Sorry, rambling again! Yes, I don't want to be an Aspie, because it makes me horrible! There's a lass I've REALLY hurt on Facebook (and I care about her a lot). Not the first clue how to make it up to her (she's in Manchester and I'm down here) so I've temporarily shut down my FB account before I hurt anyone else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billycraig Report post Posted February 18, 2011 At times definatly, I recently had to go to my neighbors wedding. They introduced me to my wife and he was an usher at my wedding so I really didn't have a choice. Had a horrible day (sitting there not eating while everyone else did etc) and sat looking at everyone having fun wishing I could be different. The rest of the time I love how I am, am happy in my own company, love my focus on my topics and didn't even know I had a problem until I got in a relationship and life started to change. Theirs some bad, theirs some good and my NT friend would do anything to have my focus on nutrition and bikes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
