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Today the Social services have written to me with a legal letter stating they are going to court to obtain a interum care order for J, I am obvously deverstated and dont know how much longer I will have J for, I was seriously considering a section 20 if urgent respite was not in place as I am totally exhausted and my mental health has been effected by the 24-7 care needs J requires and the effects of his special needs on the family unit but to recieve a letter from social services saying there going to court to remove him from my care is really distressing when Ive fighted so hard to get the right support, if I wasnt so exhausted and looking on this as at least now I get some respite, Id be more distressed as I obvously didnt want J taken off me in the this way, and I certainly dont want to have to fight the next year to fight to get him back home and in a provision that meets all his needs.x Its going to be a really difficult year ahead for usx

 

JsMumx

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I can say something that might lift the cloud a bit. My mom's a foster carer. Years ago a 12yr old Asperger arrived at her house. He was getting out of hand, his mother couldn't cope, and she found a couple of gins made it easier.

 

He stayed with Mom 3 months. She took no nonsense, proved more stubborn than he was, and taught him how to tell jokes :) His mother saw him regularly, and the time gave her a chance to clear her head and recharge. 6 years later, any member of his family will stop Mom in the street and tell her how well he's doing.

 

I don't know how your situation stands, or how it will turn out. Just wanted you to know that the system doesn't always screw up - sometimes it comes right in the end :)

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I can say something that might lift the cloud a bit. My mom's a foster carer. Years ago a 12yr old Asperger arrived at her house. He was getting out of hand, his mother couldn't cope, and she found a couple of gins made it easier.

 

He stayed with Mom 3 months. She took no nonsense, proved more stubborn than he was, and taught him how to tell jokes :) His mother saw him regularly, and the time gave her a chance to clear her head and recharge. 6 years later, any member of his family will stop Mom in the street and tell her how well he's doing.

 

I don't know how your situation stands, or how it will turn out. Just wanted you to know that the system doesn't always screw up - sometimes it comes right in the end :)

this is very good/positive to hear and I have heard similar :thumbs:

 

So sorry Js mum :tearful:>:D<<'> but I think if they can offer something short term so you can re-fuel then get the energy to fight to get him back with support,this sounds like the best(though very difficult)option >:D<<'>

 

Also the SS will be checking in on how he is doing and so may see that everything you have been expressing is accurate.

Edited by justine1

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Hi Jsmum

 

Thinking of you, and hoping things work out. It's very sad when you are obviously trying really hard to care for him, and just want the support you all need to be put in place.

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Hi

 

It's difficult to know what to say. I remain fearful if I jump up and again seeking support that I could be deemed to not be coping, to the point where R could be taken into care. It's nothing something I would want, however, when coping with challenging behaviour 24/7, it grinds you down to the point it can become difficult to function even on a very basic level. I guess what I'm saying is that sadly sometimes it has to come to a situation like this in order for things to change for the better i.e. if kiddo were to go into care temporarily, there's no doubt that that will be very challenging and SS will find that out. I can't talk from experience, but interestingly I had an ASD expert tell me just that - that I should phone the police when R becomes violent, that I should phone SS, etc as it's the only way to get support. So I guess before things gets better, they have to get worse.

 

Keep us posted and take care.

 

Caroline

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J has been in foster care as an infant and his CAHMS assessment stated Negative Childhood experience, basically the mental health assessment said that by J been in foster care it had disrupted his life, it was not a positive experience and he alleged that one foster carer assualted him years later so I found out too late, I also had to retrieve him early as J became too distressed and so the placement terminated before it was suppose too and before I was fully recovered as I was exhausted.

 

I know there are good and bad foster parents but he didnt experience the good part as of yet and from working in the social care sector I know that care is defo not a road I want J to go down in the near future, many of the local children in the care home regularly abscond, drinking alcohol, get into fights and damage the local areas property, J has impaired social functioning skills and is easily led and will be very vulnerable, Social worker has already agreed he will not be going into foster care as they will not be able to keep him safe, it is more likely he will access the specialist respite provision he accessed partly at christmas, there is no way he could be placed with younger children and at his resi school it took three adults to restrain him so it would have to be a placement with specialist provision and at home if he is aggressive I already have to call the police, that what has led to the concern that J is a child beyond parental control so be careful of calling the police as this could be used as evidence that you no longer can control your child.

 

The latest I have heard is they could have the care order by tomorrow evening, or a court date.

 

It is really stressful all thisx

 

JsMumx

Edited by JsMum

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Hi JsMum I also don't know what to say other than that I do so feel for you. I can't imagine what it must be like to have received that letter, it really makes you think. It seems that if you do admit to not being able to cope with your child then you run the risk of this type of action happening. I do hope you have family around that can offer you comfort and support. (( ))

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Hi JS mum,

 

I am so sorry to hear this. Hopefully, it won't be for long and it will allow you a bit of "me" time, so you can recharge your batteries.

 

Jannih

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Hi JS mum,

 

I am so sorry to hear this. Hopefully, it won't be for long and it will allow you a bit of "me" time, so you can recharge your batteries.

 

Jannih

I think Im on dirct rout to a breakdown, hitting rock bottom and then slowly build myself back up, Im going then definatley recharge my batteries and then I will be fighting back stronger than ever beforex

 

JsMumx

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UPDATE: At court today of which was adjourned to April as today was an adminitrative hearing and not long enough to hear our partys opinions and the Local Authorities Partys opinions so it is going to be April with a longer hearing.

 

The solisitors and barristers then fought it out what happens in the mean time.

 

Somehow I now have four days respite of which will start next week and every week until April and J is not forced into school and he will still access home tuition which may now take place at his specialist respite provision.

 

There is no interum care order for now but understand that could change in April.

 

I am so relieved that we have respite, I have to last just a few more days and then I can completely let go, sleep, rest, build myself back up, eat, go to the gym and do my therapies so I can get strong again.

 

I am relieved he isnt in Care.

 

JsMumx

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I am glad you have now a bit of a respite so you can recharge your batteries for a while at least. :thumbs:

 

Hopefully, they won't take your son in April and you will get this respite on more permanent basis, and finally, get a better place for him, the school you are trying to send him to. Maybe, that would be a good time to push it, speak with your solicitor.

 

I am sorry you have to go to all this trouble only to get what is best for your child. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<

 

Best of luck.

 

Danaxxx

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Love, light and rainbows sent to you both <3 >:D<<'> >:D< in our thoughts and special prayers xx

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JsMum, I hope this will eventually turn out to be positive in the sense that both of you get/recieve what you need, even if its had to be done in this roundabout way , x

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HI thinking about you to, I am pleased that your son hasn't been taken into care, the respite sounds ideal for you, hope all goes well.

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Hi J's Mum,

 

So glad to hear J is not in care. At least you have some time now to get back on your feet. I know what it feels like to be completely burnt out, which I'm sure you are after what you've just been through.

 

You have given me lots of advice and support through hard times. Sending you lots of these >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Loulou xx

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OMG.... So very sorry to hear this, I know how we have both struggled with our boys over the years and some nights I want to beg people to take him!!! but only for an hour or so, not like this, so very sorry to hear you have this hanging over you.

 

re resperidone, as you know my lad is on it, without it life is impossible, things have been pretty good lately so we are lowering the dose bit by bit, already I can see the odd and inflexible behaviour returning, which is very worrying, the only side effect, that is apparant, is weight gain, keep strong, am thinkning of you, dont post often as life is busy and not as terrible as it used to be! Enid xx

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Hi thanks Enid, Lou Lou, Jeanna,lisa,pola and dana.

 

J went to his respite and we checked in every evening and by the third day J said he was enjoying it more, it has disrupted his home tuition but his tutor is going to be visiting J at his respite too, so were keeping his tutor, he was so happy to see me on Thursday and we both benefitted greatly from the break, I had rested, had physio, had my legs waxed and went to see black swan, which was ace, J went to a wildlife park, cinema, took shopping to buy posters for his respite provision bedroom, which is gorgous by the way, and treat to maccydees and a chineese resturant, he had three members of staff to take care of him so loved the undivided attention, he looked well when I reconnected with him on thursday.

 

It goes to show how crucial this provision is, since thursday we have slotted into a much more relaxed pace and settled into a routine that is much improved pre respite.

 

J has continued taking his prozac but has refused the respiridol, Im still encouraging him though to take it, but happy that he takes the prozac no fuss at all.

 

Prozac is a liquid where his respiridone is a tablet, and one that I have to break in half, so I will request that the respiridol be in liquid next time I visit the psych.

 

J has had moments of panic and moments of calm so were settling down a bit more now but if you read my other post I have also just found out he is been bullied by his facebook and that has upset him a bit.

 

we are preparing for J to go back to respite next week, the social worker said last week how ever that it is only in place while J is signed off sick, if that is true, we only have respite for the next couple of weeks, so I will be making most of what we have.

 

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words make a big difference.

 

JsMumx

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You can crush the reseridone between two spoons and add it to a spoon of honey, or a yoghurt etc etc, when my J was at his worst I used to put it in a hot chocolate drink without his knowledge, and before anyone has a go I did report that I did this to the relavant people, needs must sometimes. so glad to hear things are calmer even for a short time, it really grinds you down dosnt it the endless, just endless, worry of it all. much love and support coming your way.

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Update

 

Js respite is going well and the medication too, we where told last friday that the home tuition and respite is actually only in place while he has his medical note which runs out middle of next week, J was at cahms today and he has prescribed J with Liquid Rispiridol as he was too anxious to take the tablet format, J verbally told the psych that he wont even take the liquid though, but the child psychiatrist wants J to think about taking it at least, I did threaten J that I would put it in his food and he said he wouldnt eat anything, he already believes people spike his food and spit in it so this threat didnt go down to well and the Psych didnt want me doing that either, the child psychiatrist said J has to be the one who agrees to take the medication and he wont be forced to take it.

 

We then focused on his medical note and the psych said he cant continue to extend it, he fully supports that we need to change his school but he must attend his oxford SEBD Resi special school in the mean time, especially in light we go to court in April due to J not been at his resi school, so he thinks this will ensure he doesnt go in care and he is going to write to the lea about Js threats that if he returns to the school so they can be aware and put in place the nessasary arrangements to manage J. (may need 2-1 or extra supervision ext..)

 

The Psych was very understanding to be fair on him and he is going to support us all the way for the new school.

 

J has agreed to go back but has full intentions of getting permanantly excluded so I do have my concerns but the Pysch and the GP have already alerted the LEA to this.

I am now preparing to get J to retun to his resi school in the next couple of weeks.

 

What do you think guys to thi?????.xxx

 

JsMuM

XXXXX

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Hi. replied to this but cant see it! so will try again. I dont think you have any choice but to try to encourage him to go back to school, if it dosnt work at least you will be seen to have done your bit!! hope he starts taking his resperidone soon because if they work like with my J it makes such a difference, he still has his moments, had to get him from school only last friday! but on the whole copable. lets us know how he goes on

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Another Update

 

 

sorry for the gap but Ive been a mess and very distressed and depressed.

 

we went back to court and the Judge insisted that measures where put in place to ensure the safety of others at his presant 38wk BESD resi school and between me and the professionals we put in place extra support for J and a reduced school time table, going Monday to Thursday, I escorted J in the Taxi as no taxi would agree to taking him due to his threats of jumping out the car.

 

The first week he was there he recieved restraints, holds, detentions and containment but the school proffesionals stated oh were managing him and he has been fine!

 

Second week the same but then it was the holidays.

 

J went to respite on the sunday and we where back in court on the Monday 11th April, the solisitor shared with me on the day that the local authority have agreed to a 52wk residential school if I agree to the intirum care order, they want more control so I took the oportunity of Js long term needs getting met so agreed and I didnt really stand a chance with the court anyway as the courts Child Psychiatrist and Gaurdian reports where pretty bad with the way they portraid my parenting, mental health and my parenting capacity so I agreed to intirum care order, I didnt care what some proffessionals opinions of our situation was because bottom line was Js needs where not been met and if there was a chance of a 52wk school where in the long term they could be met I wanted to take it.

 

contact arrangements where made but the social worker said Jay wasnt allowed to stay over night at home which I was told because children cant stay overnight at their parents homes because the authority is paying for his care full time now and it was to do with a law, so I agreed to minute amount of contact hours which have proved very difficult not just for me but for Jay too as he misses home, his friends terribly and the contact hours are just not enough.

 

Over the last three weeks though the specialist respite has been positive on the whole.

 

Mainly due to there being NO educational tasks and expectations its just been one long holiday for J, he has been on trips out, ice skating, woods, parks, ect and due to the intensive high level of care J recieves from the staff and they provide J a weekly timetable of his activities and routine and a weekly menu so has some predictability (his special school have not provided J a visual timetable, something that is in his statement) and the enviroement is calm and relaxed (Its a beautiful Posh country house) the staff have managed to get J into a much more productive routine, of up and out of bed before dinner! and in bed before midnight, that is a milestone and a half, as at home routine is very difficult due to J getting stressed out due to noises and thinks someone is going to come in and kill us, at respite there is waking night staff and so he is reasureed and another little boy just joined J due to his needs there is alarms on the doors so if anyone enters or exits the alarms ring out, this has reasurred J no end and feels safer, Jay has also continued taking his prozac which Jay says has really helped him, he has reached his optimal dosage now of 3mls a day and he is happy for this to continue.

 

There is between three to four members of staff on at all times during the day so J has undivided attention and support as and when he needs it, at home I cant meet this need due to it been just me and I have daily tasks to do such as home cooking, laundry, shopping, so it is difficult to supervise J and meet the needs of the home and J,

 

when Im doing tasks that is usually when J is in the garden climbing roofs and walls and other risk taking behaviours so supervision is high level and at home on my own 24-7 its impossible over a long period of time.

 

I have recieved unbelievable amount of support and encourgement too from the staff at his specialist respite unit and when we are on contact trips I have had support and back up with the staff their so I do not feel totally on my own.

 

Me and J have kept in close contact as much as possible though it has distressed J where one day he isolated himself in his bedroom and cried on his bed because he was distressed because he missed his friends, his cats, and he missed me, and Jay didnt tell anyone how he felt, not even me until three days later.

 

J has struggled with the food element but he has tried more food and defo eaten more than I could of got him to try, however he has gone without anything to eat with some meals where as at home I would of ensured he ate something to ensure he had calories as he is severely underweight, his BMI is 14 so it is hard to let someone else do the looking after J reguards his eating needs.

 

I have found it very difficult to put in trust in other proffessionals to look after Js needs and I feel I have trusted the staff at respite more so going with their way and trying understand why their stratagies are in place.

 

Jay hasnt shown any challenging behaviour that he shows at home and school and apart from the times he quietly cries in his room he seems quite settled and happy and he has said he enjoys respite,he said he would rather be home but as that cant happen he said respite is oright, that has helped a lot to know he is at least in a good respite placement where he is happy.

 

I get on with the respite care staff and they have been a great deal of support for myself too because since J has been placed in respite on the 10th April Ive not had any support from agencies other than the police who have shown compassion.

 

part of the intirum care order that social services where applying to court for was because they have concerns over my mental health.

 

My mental health is only affected when I do not recieve adequate support and provisions to care for Js complex needs as I can not meet my own mental health needs.

 

I have done all my own research into provisions and services that can provide support for my needs and due to having no care needs of J now I intend to use some of the services and provisions out their.

 

J is now a looked after child, when I say that I know it means now that J is a child in care, how did it come to this I dont know, A year ago I had to get a solisitor involved because my local authority said my son and I didnt meet no criterias for provisions and support, now a year on my son is in care and that does leave me very angry and frustrated and distressed and does absaloutly nothing to help my own mental health state feeling like that so I have tried to be positive and use this time as an opportunity to get myself strong again as I have been very despressed about all this at times.

 

I have really enjoyed the break to be honest, I miss J terribly but it has been a reliefe in some ways that this has happened.

 

I have rested and eaten more kept up with my own activities and I am putting my energies into finding J a new school, which Ive found, defo know its the one, its a specialsit theraputic 52 week provision that hopefully if placed there can eventually work towards J coming home alternate weekends again, I know I wont be able to care for J for long periods as he exceeds what is known as expected parental capacity, his needs exceed my ability to care for him 24-7 without a break or support, so Im always going to need specialist support which is what I have been fighting for all this time, if it wasnt for me fighting he wouldnt of been in a special school or a respite provision in the first place.

 

J goes back to his presant school Monday to Thursday and there is some prospective new schools assessing J in the next few weeks.

 

Jay then returns back to his presnt specialist respite unit in the intirum periods, so he wont be coming home at all not even over night stays.

 

We have a contact review next week and were hoping to increase contact hours as it is distressing J with minimal contact hours that are in place at present.

 

I also have the SEND route to try acess Js needs and will be busy doing that BUNDLE to ensure Js Statement illustrates ALL his needs, provisions and therapies.

 

His new ammended statement they removed SALT and CBT.

 

We want those back in!

 

If everything goes right with the assessments and a place is available we could have J in a new 52wk school in 6 weeks time including transition periods.

 

That feels positive to me as that is all Ive wanted.

 

Lets pray that this going as smoothly as possibly for Jay so he can settle down and hopefully recieve the therapies, services he needs so he can achieve in the near future.

 

 

Its been a hell of a journey.

 

JsMumxxx

Edited by JsMum

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I hope everything calms down for you , you have been to hell and back.

The lack of help until things reach crisis is jaw dropping but sadly seems to be the case with so many families.

Look after yourself.

love

Loraine

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Not sure what to say, JsMum. As traumatic as it is, though, it does sound as if it could be a positive thing for both of you. J sounds as if he's coping well and settling in well so far and I really hope things continue to go well. Just hold onto the fact that you have done the very best you can for you son. I think it's very brave of you to admit that you can no longer cope, that takes a lot of guts. Hopefully, you'll both feel a lot stronger soon and the future can seem a lot brighter for you both. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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have also pm`d but just wanted to send my support on these boards, seems mad dosnt it when a year ago you couldnt get support, remember he is still your boy!!! it was a means to an end but you are still his mum. much love and support from me to you. xx

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I'm sorry, this must all be really hard for you. But it does sound like things are moving in the right direction, that Jay is going to get the support he needs now, and you get the time you need to get yourself well.

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So sorry to hear this J'sMum, but as someone else said, I think you have been very courageous to put J's wellfare first.

 

Take care,

 

Bid >:D<<'>

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Hi it sounds like you are nearly there thank goodness! I am hoping for the same for my son to have a 52 week placement in place as soon as possible which is what he needs. Hope all goes well for your son, keep us updated (( ))

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I'm sure you already know this ... but incase you don't.

If they have removed any provision from his Statement there has to have been a professional that has said that in a report that xxx no longer needs x, y and z and therefore it should be stopped/removed.

I know LEAs remove and change statements/provision all the time, but the Tribunal Panel will not allow it to just be removed. There has to be evidence that it is no longer needed, and that usually includes progress - and you've had a dramatic deterioration not an improvement or progression.

Make sure you submit the evidence that originally said he needed that input, and the age of documents/evidence you submit is irrelevent. It is about the content of the document, not the age.

My own LEA had requested the Tribunal to disregard all evidence before a certain date, and the Judge has ruled that their request is misconceived because parents can submit whatever documents and evidence they like and the Panel has to read it all.

Anyway - as awful as the current situation is - it is further evidence of the level of support and placement your child needs for him (and you) to be able to function.

It might also be worth highlighting how his behaviour is much better in the respite environment rather than the BESD school. I know there are no academic demands in respite - but they must be doing something right because his anxiety seems much reduced there and his improved behaviour is a reflection of this.

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I'm sure you already know this ... but incase you don't.

If they have removed any provision from his Statement there has to have been a professional that has said that in a report that xxx no longer needs x, y and z and therefore it should be stopped/removed.

I know LEAs remove and change statements/provision all the time, but the Tribunal Panel will not allow it to just be removed. There has to be evidence that it is no longer needed, and that usually includes progress - and you've had a dramatic deterioration not an improvement or progression.

Make sure you submit the evidence that originally said he needed that input, and the age of documents/evidence you submit is irrelevent. It is about the content of the document, not the age.

My own LEA had requested the Tribunal to disregard all evidence before a certain date, and the Judge has ruled that their request is misconceived because parents can submit whatever documents and evidence they like and the Panel has to read it all.

Anyway - as awful as the current situation is - it is further evidence of the level of support and placement your child needs for him (and you) to be able to function.

It might also be worth highlighting how his behaviour is much better in the respite environment rather than the BESD school. I know there are no academic demands in respite - but they must be doing something right because his anxiety seems much reduced there and his improved behaviour is a reflection of this.

 

 

I have seen no reports or documents that state that his SALT and CBT removed, even the court psychiatrist who condemed me has said J needs SALT and CBT, she also diagnosed OCD Traits and Conduct Disorder as additional dx to Js needs.

 

So there is evidence to prove the needs and the reports I do have from SALT from his 38 wk school say he should CONTINUE to recieve SALT. Yet is has been completely removed from the statement. so thanks there Sally I will ensure that this is brought up however in the LAC Review today which Im going to post again about he recieves an additional Educational needs officer all for him and by what she said he could well now recieve more support for his education for example 1-1 extra Maths tuition or extra 1-1 English tution additional to his statement needs, she is also setting up a targets and aims sheet and they will work a lot closer with the school and J so that sounds like its going to be a lot better for Js needs in the long run too.

 

RESPITE we talked a lot about this today in the LAC Review and basically the reason he is doing much better there is because he isnt with MOTHER no more, thats the reason for the improvements, we talked recently about why at respite he WILL eat their food that isnt from Js usual supermarket or usual brand that he DEMANDS when at HOME and at respite will eat it, but I dont get as far as putting the food in the pan because he would snatched it out my hand and throw in the bin and throw the pan in garden, I dont get as far as the staff do at respite is what Im saying, but he doesnt protest and become disruptive as he does at home, Ive not given in either in these situations, Ive not given him what he wanted and he just went hungry to the point of passing out, there he doesnt go to these extream not shown ANY challenging behaviour at all.

 

If by magic J was allowed back home next week I would not manage to get him to eat the foods from the supermarkets and brands that respite use, he would divert back to the behaviours he used previously, disruptive, demanding, threatening ect... SO why does he not do it at respite.

 

At school he has become disruptive and aggressive around meals, at one point he had to eat with plastic cuterly because he throw his metal ones at staff and students he doesnt do it as much now but he wouldnt even use cutlery and used his fingers.

 

I am worried though that the positive behaviours at respite are then twisted to make it look like a bad reflection on me, and what if now he is in care the school portray a much more positive picture of Js behaviour within thier school with J.

 

I was told by the Tribunal services to SEND ANY Reports relivant to Joshuas NEEDs, so Ive bought a monophoto copier as Im going to be very busy copying Js reports and yes Im sending everything.

 

Anyway Sally thanks for your support, Im feeling very vulnerable today so your support has helped a lot, some days Im strong, other days a total mess.

 

JsMumxx

 

x

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UPDATE

 

Due to LAC review and contact review Im posting again for advise.

 

Basically ss have said J can not stay overnight at home and possibly for the forseeable future because there reasons are.

 

My parenting style and the way I percieve Js Needs and continue to search for more DX.

 

I asked them what do I have to do to change or to provide J in parenting style and she said there isnt NOTHING I CAN DO.! why? because Ive participated already in all of the avialable parenting courses.

 

I have done the Nurturing Parents course, the Triple P, the Caring Parents, Family Effective Training ect and there is nothing else available unless I repeat the Tripple P!

 

SO there is nothing at ALL I can do to change MY parenting STYLE.

 

What am I going to do?

 

The DX issue goes back to when the local social and communication team said he had Features of ASD and I disagreed as he had been assessed already by various proffessionals who say he has definately got ASD and its not in his statement only features of ASD AND social and communication difficulties, even the resi school agreed he has ASD and he recieved a CAMHS DX this year of ASD but still the ss wont except he has ASD and they say why wasnt it enough for me when the Social and communication panel say he has Features of ASD! and because I wouldnt keep my big gob shut they are now portraying this situation as me searching for more LABELS when at his recent court psych resport he recieved additional labels that I wasnt even expecting. (Traits of OCD and Conduct Disorder)

 

J defo has ASD but the SS are trying to make a big deal out of it and say I push for DX when I do not.

 

So what do I do there? pretend J doesnt have ASD or be happy he has had a previous DX of Features of ASD? when he has more than traits!

 

He is also waiting for an assessment for Auditory Processing Disorder which we have been waiting for the past three years, the request was by another proffessional, not me but it hasnt happened because our LA have no funding for APD assessments, because Ive been pushing for this to happen the LA have concerns about me wanting another label, when this is not the case, he requires an assessment for APD because he may well indeed have it, he has a lot of the symptoms and signs, which have been present for years.

 

What do I do?

 

 

Due to all of these concerns of Partenting style and DX they are saying this is a reason why J can not come home for an overnight stay.

 

I am never going to get him back home, ever, Im so upset.

 

Contact has been increased 2hrs per week and though is what I wanted for the next four weeks it isnt what I want for long term and J is desperate to come home overnight one weekend.

 

Please help me.

 

JsMum

Edited by JsMum

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I have never experienced anything like this myself, so I can only suggest what my instinct says, so if anyone else with more experience/knowledge disagrees then they may well be right!

 

If it was me, I would co-operate with everything SS are suggesting. I would drop anything about clarifying his dx right now. I would want to be seen to be working with SS. I think the things you are concerned about with regard to his dx can take a back seat for now. What matters is that he gets the help he needs in the right placement, and that SS see you as a co-operative parent who is willing to change things so that you can work towards getting J home.

 

As I say, someone with more expereince of the system might have another suggestion.

 

Very, very best.

 

Bid >:D<<'>

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