my son is struggling to get to sleep at night...........

[Rach14]

.........actually he has always struggled to get to sleep!

 

when he was younger melatonin use to work for him however as he got older he had to increase his dose which then caused him to get nauseous when he took the tablets! we took him off the tabs 3 years ago and although he still struggled to sleep at night he was just getting enough. now it is getting worse! He will refuse to go to sleep until a set time of 1:00 in the morning and his school work is suffering! (he is 15 and half way through GCSE.s)! i have tried everything to help him to get to bed earlier but he will get so angry/aggressive at night that i just give up and leave him alone until he conks out with exhaustion! if he gets too loud he wakes my youngest son who is currently needing as much sleep as he can get right now as he is worked so hard at his private school!!

 

i have tried everything! horlicks, reading, special lights in his room! massage wont work with L cos he has aversion to touch! what else can i try?

[llisa32]

Hiya,

 

I'm not sure how it will work for your son as he's older than mine (mines 11) but he also has struggled to get to sleep at night - although thankfully not every night.

 

I've used an over the counter liquid antihistamine that can also be used as a sleeping aid.

 

I've always found that my son struggles to sleep after either a busy day, an exciting tv prog, playing too long on a game etc - then he struggles to wind down - his brain is still whizzing despite laying in bed!

 

I don't use it routinely, only now on sons request or when I can tell beforehand he's going to have trouble switching off.

 

My GP suggested I give it a try and I've always called it 'sleeping medcine', plus I've never had to use the full dose specified for sleeping as it seems to work on my son 'knowing' he's had sleeping medecine. I'm not sure if I can name the brand/make - praps one of the mods can advise?

 

If not happy to pm you details

[Tally]

I've heard that some people can develop a resistance to Melatonin and it can work well in the long term if it is not used every night. It's possible that it may work again after a break, particularly if he does not take it every night (perhaps he could take a break at weekends for example). It's worth speaking to the doctor again to see if they think it might be worth trying again.

[JsMum]

Some questions to understand more.

 

Has your son been drinking caffinated drinks during the day? High caffince drinks are the craze in our local area at the moment, Redbull, monsters, ect...

 

How many GCSEs is he doing?

 

Does he recieve any additional support at school due to his Special needs?

 

Does he seem overwhelmed by the pressures to pass his GCSEs?

 

Is there any emotional difficulties going on, such as bullying, peer pressure ect...

 

I would keep a diary for a week and note down his sleep hours, time he goes to bed and try for one week where he does follow a bedtime routine, such as Supper, Bath, pJS, Chill out time.

 

Absaloutly recommend hypnotherapy CDs, breathing and relaxation techneques.

 

Does your sons school have access to any councilling that may be able to offer further emotional support and who may give further ideas to a sleep routine.

 

There is obvously something bothering him, he cant relax and relies on exhaustion as a remedy, problem over time this will cause additional mental health problems.

 

If after a week this persists I would definately seek proffessional adivice and in the mean time keep a detailed diary of his sleeping habbits and evening behaviours.

 

JsMumx

[Rach14]

I've heard that some people can develop a resistance to Melatonin and it can work well in the long term if it is not used every night. It's possible that it may work again after a break, particularly if he does not take it every night (perhaps he could take a break at weekends for example). It's worth speaking to the doctor again to see if they think it might be worth trying again.

 

 

thanks tally! L was taking it everynight for quite a few years so maybe you are right that he developed a resistance! L hasnt had melatonin for quite awhile so maybe it will work again for him! i just got this thing in my head that now that the tablet wasnt working for him it would never work again! it just never occurred to me that there was a possibility that melatonin could start working again now that he has had a break from it?

 

are there any other sleep meds out there that help autistic kids?

[smiley1590]

what about blind shut out all light distraction block it out and maybe weighted blanket? just few other ideas to try also lavender scent works for me helps me drift off into natural sleep! buy lavender spray amd spray on his pillow P.J's and around his room do couple mins before he goes a bed so smell isn't overpowering and overwhelming from sensory POV! good luck!

 

XKLX

[baddad]

Hi Rachel -

 

Sorry, but I think the biggest problems you face - whether dosing him with melatonin etc or not - are his own '1.00 set time' and the fact that you 'give up and leave him alone until he conks out'. He's got you over a barrel with his aggression and noise, and until you show emphatically that you're prepared to 'go the distance' and ditch the barrel it'll stay that way. Very difficult if he's fifteen and big, I know, but for anyone reading with a six/seven/eight year old with poor night-time routines a good example of what the furure will hold if not resolved now.

Wind that 1.00 back to 11:00 and enforce it - even if he does just 'kick back' for the two hours initially. No short-term fix (drugs, bribery...) is going to work long-term, because he'll just refuse (or 'fight', which is only gonna make him more aggressive/irritable) the drugs and up the ante on the bribes. You can only look to the long term, which is him going to sleep at a reasonable hour, with games consoles, PC's etc etc switched off and kept off.

 

NB: Some people do just need less sleep. Sadly, the fact that he's school work etc is suffering suggests he's not one of them, and it's more a case of him not getting the sleep he does need. Something else to think about - if left to it (i.e. at weekends) is he an early riser, or would he lay in all morning? Do you have to dynamite him out of bed to get him to school, or is he already awake? If he is always up with the lark then maybe he is a naturally short sleeper and the 1:00 curfew isn't the problem in school. If it's dynamite and breakfast at lunchtime, then it's just bad routines, and the only way to break them is to, erm, break them!

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

 

OH PS: Just thought to add... My son is always up by 6:00 am. If he went to bed at 1:00 he would get 5 hrs sleep and be completely miserable/useless. Going to bed by 11:00 ensures he's not (and that's 9.30 for 10 through the school week). It took years to establish that six O'Clock start, and then the rule is he can't 'get up' until 7:00 (which we're flexible about now as long as he's fairly quiet). He still wakes sometimes in the night, but will read a comic and/or try to get back to sleep now. If the idea ever entered his head to turn on the TV, PC or games console in the middle of the night he would not have access to them anymore.

Edited March 7, 2011 by baddad

[JsMum]

I go on these websites for help, both me and J struggle with sleeping difficulties.

 

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour/sleep-and-autism-helping-your-child.aspx

 

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/Childrenssleephome.aspx

 

http://www.childrenfirst.nhs.uk/teens/health/conditions/s/sleep_problems.html

 

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/mentalhealthandgrowingup/sleepproblemsinchildhood.aspx

 

 

http://www.gosh.nhs.uk/gosh_families/advice_and_support/ask_dr_jane/s/sleep_problems.html

 

 

http://www.aane.org/asperger_resources/articles/children_parenting/sleep_problems_asperger.html

 

JsMumx

[Rach14]

thanku everyone! yep i know i have made a rod for my own back and i feel pretty bad!

 

thanks for the questions J'S MUM! L has gone through alot of changes this is true! he is not feeling pressured by GCSE'S! i've always said to him that its not the end of the world if he gets bad grades cos he can just retake them! Unfortunetly i think that now L thinks he doesnt need to bother now cos he can retake them arghhhh! im just sooo angry with myself! i dont know why God gave me an autistic child! i love him soooo much and im just failing him everyday! When i think i have helped him it just backfires on me! I think as L is getting older his autism is becoming more of a difficulty for him and the whole

family! i will try implimenting some of your great ideas! and thanks for the links J'S MUM

 

luv rachxx

[baddad]

thanku everyone! yep i know i have made a rod for my own back and i feel pretty bad!

 

thanks for the questions J'S MUM! L has gone through alot of changes this is true! he is not feeling pressured by GCSE'S! i've always said to him that its not the end of the world if he gets bad grades cos he can just retake them! Unfortunetly i think that now L thinks he doesnt need to bother now cos he can retake them arghhhh! im just sooo angry with myself! i dont know why God gave me an autistic child! i love him soooo much and im just failing him everyday! When i think i have helped him it just backfires on me! I think as L is getting older his autism is becoming more of a difficulty for him and the whole

family! i will try implimenting some of your great ideas! and thanks for the links J'S MUM

 

luv rachxx

 

 

Hi again Rachel -

I wouldn't beat yourself up too much; we all get it wrong sometimes and in terms of mistakes a teenager with poor sleeping routines is a tiny one compared to some that others are making! I do think, though, that if you think you've responded wrongly in the past then nows the time to start putting that right, even if it is a bigger job now.

As for God giving you an autistic child - I'd chuck that idea out completely! It's a game of cards - and he/she/it/whatever doesn't shuffle the deck for good or bad.

 

Best with it, and that 11:00 curfew.

 

L&P

 

BD

[Rach14]

Hi again Rachel -

I wouldn't beat yourself up too much; we all get it wrong sometimes and in terms of mistakes a teenager with poor sleeping routines is a tiny one compared to some that others are making! I do think, though, that if you think you've responded wrongly in the past then nows the time to start putting that right, even if it is a bigger job now.

As for God giving you an autistic child - I'd chuck that idea out completely! It's a game of cards - and he/she/it/whatever doesn't shuffle the deck for good or bad.

 

Best with it, and that 11:00 curfew.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

lol! yep! 11:00 curfew is in place 2nite! i have to say that L is looking a little worried right now! Im concerned about my youngest son S but i have a nice bed made up downstairs in the den if L disturbs him with the screams which im sure he will! i have to say im a little worried about how tonite will play out, Its not easy dealing with an aggressive teen when your husband has sensory issues with sound/noise! anyone here wanna come round? lol!!

Edited March 9, 2011 by Rach14

[JsMum]

Found this website which is for Kids, it is really visual and practical so thought I would share the links.

 

http://www.sleepforkids.org/html/tips.html

 

JsMumx