Refusal to do PE

[joanc12]

Hello

Its been awhile since I've been on the Forum. Looking for some advise. After 2 1/2 years fighting to get my son, now 14 Statemented and settled in a new much smaller mainstream school - I now have a problem with PE. My son was only diagnosed this year with ASD. He however dosen't want to know. Moving school has brought him on well and he is socialising with his peers. This has been a major improvement from school refusal in his previous school. He refuses to do PE but the school expect him to go for a walk round the school pitch during that period. To me that dosen't sound unreasonable, but to him its not an option. I don't want him to start taking a full day off for the sake of an hour. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Worried

Joan

[Kathryn]

What's his objection to it and what would he prefer to be doing instead? It sounds like a very reasonable adjustment to me.

 

You could ask if he can be disapplied from the PE part of the curriculum, but I wonder if that may set a bad precedent - i.e. if he doesn't like something he can just refuse point blank to do it and get his way. Maybe it's worth sitting down with the head of year, PE, form tutor or whoever and coming to some compromise? If the bottom line is that he has to do some form of exercise or something PE related, what would he find enjoyable or at least tolerable? Could he keep score? Hold the stopwatch? Reset the high jump bar? There must be something that can be worked out with a bit of creative thinking - maybe something that taps in to his own interests and helps reinforce the relationships he has made with his peers?

 

K x

[Sally44]

I'm also wondering why he can't take part in PE.

Does he have movement/co-ordination problems, or social communication/interaction difficulties or problems understanding and participating in team games or difficulties if he loses or performs badly?

Both the above could/should be addressed by being specific needs detailed in his Statement. And it would be reasonable for him to maybe not participate with everyone else, or participate in some things with adult support, or for a suitably qualified person to work 1:1 with him for any dyspraxic problems, or 1:1 with him to improve social interaction or his ability to join in.

Or if PE really is a no go area, this time could be used for 1:1 social interaction, relaxation, planning and discussing the daily timetable etc.

[BusyLizzie100]

I guess the starting point is to find out why he doesn't want to do PE or what is stopping him. Some suggestions have been made already, above.

 

Is your son able to talk about it with you? My son (13) hates PE for lots of reasons. He is dyspraxic for a start, so very uncoordinated, which affects him on the pitch, for example, in trying to kick a ball, but also in getting undressed/dressed and in just moving around in a small changing room. He also hates the noises, all the shouting during, for example, football, and the joking and banter in the changing room, as well as the acoustics in the changing rooms and gyms.

 

He also hates the fact that everyone automatically knows the rules, both socially and for the games, or at least picks them up so much more easily than him. He struggles to tie shoe laces, then suffers extreme anxiety worrying throughout the preceding lessons about tying his laces, so that he feels sick.

 

My friend's son hates PE because it makes him sweaty and he hates the sensory nature of it; he also worries about it excessively, often days in advance of the actual PE session.

 

It very much demands from where your son's refusal stems. Some minor adjustments can make a big difference, but sometimes it needs a little more investigation. What do school think? Who introduced the idea of walking around the pitch during PE? Is he expected to do it on his own or accompanied? Maybe that is not working for him as an alternative.

 

Sometimes suggestions are made based more on what resources are available rather than what the child actually needs - for example, there may be no spare staff to work with him on something different at that time, whether it's social skills or an alternative PE activity -sometimes a little creativity is needed, such as finding an activity that works for him, such as trampolining, or something a bit more 'niche'. Your son is statemented, so this would definitely be something to bring up at review, if not earlier.

 

I don't know your son, but I think it would be a big help to unpick what is going on for him, ideally with a trusted adult or autism expert. There could be so many reasons for his refusal that sometimes we just can't guess!

 

Lizzie x

Edited March 30, 2011 by BusyLizzie100

[BusyLizzie100]

oops double post!

Edited March 30, 2011 by BusyLizzie100

[flappyfish]

My son started at High School in September and lasted in PE until the beginning of November when he began to be unable to cope with lessons. He was out of all of them by Christmas but is back in most now, but PE seems to be the last bastion for all sorts of reasons - the getting changed and having to take extra stuff (and not lose it every five minutes!), the whole 'rules of games' thing, the slow processing and so being a step behind everyone else (not the way to be man of the match!)...the list goes on. We have a review meeting coming up and it will be interesting to see if there are plans afoot for him to go back in. In the meantime, he has a mentoring session in one PE lesson and does homework in the inclusion support room for the other. His PE kit is pristine , his football boots unworn. I secretly hope it stays that way because of the asociated trauma the night before, on the day and in the evening after, but it is supposed to be compulsory, so we'll see!

[Karen A]

Hi.

 

I thought I would offer some encouragement that it is possible to find a way forward.Ben has AS and dyspraxia.He had problems with PE starting in primary school.Things got so bad that he was anxious from the previous evening.However in the last term things have improved.The PE subject that brought about the change was the climbing wall.A TA spent time working out a group that Ben would be able to manage with and the instuctors are excellent.Ben had also done it before outside of school and felt positive about it.Having had a good experience of climbing he has just gone on to do badminton.He was positive enough to be happy to go with dad to a sports hall at the weekends to play badminton.Last year I would never have thought that would happen.

 

Karen.

[joanc12]

Thank you for all your replies. My son does have some motor difficulties and is very good at refusing to do things because he doesn't want to! His statement does allow him exemption from PE but the school would like to see him partaking in some exercise - so do I. Had a meeting in school on Wednesday - the plan at present is to encourage him to stay with the class for PE. Not to kit out but assist if any odd jobs etc the Teacher wants him to do. Usually there could be another 1 -3 pupils sitting out so he will always have company. This worked on this occasion - hopefully it will again next week. My son will not openly communicate what he is thinking. Sometimes its like searching in the dark for answers. Once again, thank you. I value everyones opinion.

Joan

[KathyM]

I know this is unlikely but I noticed you mentioning about him not kitting up. My son had a few episodes where he used to accidentally on purpose "forget" his kit - he wouldn't tell us why originally. It turned out he can't stand the feel of his PE shirt or similar "shiny" t-shirts, is it possibly something as simple as this? Dan wouldn't tell us about his sensory dislikes (he is *not* diagnosed I hasten to add) and it was his brother that came to us about them. We did wonder why he didn't like to sit on the sofa, I thought he was avoiding me but it was the cover!

[joanc12]

Hello

My son was very good at accidently forgetting his kit. The whole changing thing a part of it too I think. I don't think its the kit though. Will have to await events. Always on a learning curve with him

Joan

[Sally44]

My son has also always had problems changing for PE because of how different the fabric feels. He especially struggles to change shoes to pumps/trainers. And if he has to take his socks off he struggles, and then he struggles just as much to tolerate putting them back on. For a while he had to have a new pair of socks for after PE because taking them off stretched them and the seams would not stay in the right place.

He also cannot stand to feel cold. And also cannot tolerate feeling sweaty. I know it all sounds very very fussy, but it really is a problem for him.

He had an appointment at the hospital today and they had to give him an examination and he could not bear them touching him at all.

So, it maybe worth asking him some questions. Or if he finds that difficult tell him what things feel like for you and ask him if his experience is the same. You might be surprised at how different his experiences are.

Or, it could be nothing at all to do with any of that and could be something totally different.

And often it isn't easy getting any information out of them. Often I think they don't even know themselves what it is about something that bothers them.

[madsadie]

My son has not done PE since starting at secondary school.( now year 9)In the beginning he did have a t/A who would sit and watch with him, and then he started to kick a ball around with him, but the school stopped that - sent him inside to 'do some work'!! He started to refuse school on PE days so the EP suggested he be taken out of PE, which the school agreed. I was not really happy with him doing no exercise. He ended up sitting in the SEN room with nothing to do.

 

After 2 1/2 years he now cannot exert himself at all. the NHS O/t report said that he has postural stability problems and muscle weakness. i believe that this has occurred due to lack of exercise, and the O/T agreed that it could be an explanation, ( but didn't seem to want to push this point). He loved PE in primary school and did not appear to have any muscle problems then.

 

If your son has a statement there should be something in it about PE. If he has trouble, there should be some other provision made for him. Maybe your son feels like attention may be drawn to him if he is the only one walking round the field. i've just asked my son how he might feel and he said that he did used to walk round the field when they were doing games, which was ok because he had a T/A with him, he said he wouldn't have done it on his own. I think if the school had allowed a T/A to get him going he may not be in the state he's in now.

 

this is partly why we are trying to get him into an independent school which understands that some children have trouble with team sports etc and offer other activities such as swimming, martial arts, climbing wall etc. my son is not even in school now - stopped attending last year. tribunal have now ordered that he go to another LEA school that is even bigger than the one he was at - ignored medical advice stating that he should be in small classes. I now have to appeal again.

 

good luck with your son, i do hope you can get some more help for him. it's good to hear the school has been an improvement in other ways.

[Mandapanda]

Hi

 

In my experience, aside from the team/rules side of PE - the very worst part for my youngest was the changing rooms. No adult supervision, kids spraying deodorant everywhere, including at him, boys even weeing on others stuff. Generally a noisy, rowdy, chaotic, horrible environment for him. Can't say I blame him really...

[sesley]

my 11 year old gets seperate movement classes and goes to the special swim classes at our local pool for phsyical activitys,he got taken out of general PE lessons because he is very competive and wants to be in A the winning team B to be first himself and C to be picked, when all these things did not happen he unfortunately took to attacking the winning child and or shouting and crying because he either lost or the team lost.He also got anxious because he wants goes in things but waiting his turn was a thing for him and again ended up with and distupting the whole class/lessons.

[smiley1590]

could be arranged that your son does samller classes as he may cope and manage with this better as with his motor skills difficulties this maybe leading to refusal as finding it too difficult and damaging his self esteem? this maybe alternative option to take into consideration? as maybe too stressful anxiety related for him? has dyspraxia been looked into ???

 

XKLX

[smiley1590]

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