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Dijac

Fed up of the mind games

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We don't have any diagnosis yet, so are unsure if my 11 y.o.son actually has aspergers. He is getting worse lately. He is advanced for his age, and thinks he is so much better than everyone else - including us. His mood changes in a blink of an eye. If we try to limit his time on the computer, we have tears, when that doesn't work we have suicide threats - Talk of how we are meanest parents etc.

 

Today I find out he has spoken to a social worker at school, and has told them of his terrible home life - so now we have a meeting arranged for next week. At first I was really upset that my son hates his home life so much - but my husband has made me realise that maybe it is a good thing. Hopefully they will see how manipulative he is, and it may speed up the psych appointments.

 

I hate that he is so horrible to his little brother - he says he will kill him when he is older. And J adores his big brother so much, and asks me why he hates him so much.

 

I am sure a lot of you have it a lot worse, but after a bad weekend, I just needed to rant a bit.

 

Thanks for listening,

Diane :wallbash:

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Hi Diane .... Honestly, I know exactly where you are coming from!! My 15 yr old daughter was diagnosed with AS last year. We experience much of what you describe!! I just think of it as her way of trying to describe just how lousy she is feeling that day but cannot put into words, so we often have to figure it out! our mantra has become ' don't take it personally' !! Hard not to sometimes I know, but she doesn't fully understand how much our feelings are hurt so we try not to react too much to such comments and find distracting techniques work well! Amazing how quickly the light in her life switches on when I begin to talk to her about her special interests! Big hug. 

 

Beverley. X

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what you have described as your son being like i was just like him in the past it difficult hard on both sides hard when you're both being judged though seen as 'bad parents' on your son's comments i used to say similiar things but did have rollercoaster fam life growing up to say the least my mum had severe anger /temper issues severe PND with us being twins being demanding she get stressed worked up alot of 'nothing' there.

 

it hard to hear that your son's had said this. hopefully action is this meeting will start ball rolling to assessment process which long term will positively benefit you and your son. i know painful and hurtful be accused and judged .

 

i also used suicidal threats i was frustrated depressed lost confused in myself and my life it was 'cry for help' someone hear you as feel so alone isolated like no one gets you understands whatever you say! your son may just be lashing out verbally as don't know how to express his feelings /emotions towards you! doesn't excuse his comments but may explain reasons behind why!

 

hope the meeting resolves some issues me and my parents had to have family therapy not long after C.A.M.H.S official diagnosis! with family social worker help work through past issues lurking it ugly head which painful hurtful awakard ask questions but helped let issues out on table out my head! as just went round and round weren't getting anywhere!

 

my parents found hard to deal with manage and digest they found hurtful ... even though seems directly personal i believe hidden underneath issues that need addressing need come to surface ...

 

XKLX

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Thanks for your comments - when he has a good moment, he has said he just wants us to feel as bad as he is feeling - so I do know it isn't personal - but he knows exactly how to get to me.

 

Strangley, we wouldn't let him have computer time last night - mainly as a result of him hitting his brother - and he was much nicer and more co-operative to get ready for school this morning. He even gave me a hug. And the sun is shining, so today is a better day - so far!!

 

Diane

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